


Renascence

by Nightchild78, ThePeachyMonkey



Category: NCIS, Torchwood
Genre: Character Death, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M, Mpreg, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-05-07 07:05:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 87,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5447576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightchild78/pseuds/Nightchild78, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePeachyMonkey/pseuds/ThePeachyMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs never believed in miracles until Tony fell pregnant with his baby. Now, they need someone to help them figure out what happened and ensure that Tony delivers a healthy child. Certainly a case for Torchwood, if only it hadn't been destroyed... Unless it hasn't? This is a time of second chances, birth, rebirth, and new connections. AU after NCIS season 6. Fix-it fic for CoE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Heart's Truth

**Author's Note:**

> At first, it might feel like there's a disconnect between the NCIS and Torchwood sides of the story. But trust me, once it comes together, it will all make sense.
> 
> ~ ThePeachyMonkey

Leroy Jethro Gibbs turned off his computer with a heavy sigh. It was already after 10:00pm, and he'd been in since 6:00am, but he hated to come in with paperwork hanging over his head. Another case had been solved, and he'd prefer to just have it behind him when he woke up.

Of course, the job wouldn't have been completed as quickly, were it not for Tony's help. Gibbs fixed his gaze on Tony, watching him as he worked. In that moment of quiet, when they were the only two in the bullpen, Gibbs felt a twinge of guilt. A very unpleasant sensation that he was usually able to ignore. But not tonight. For some reason, tonight was different, and for once, he felt ready to look facts in the face.

Here was a man who had served him loyally for years. Who had saved his life on more than one occasion. Hiding behind a smile, he worked harder than anyone, yet made it look so effortless. A razor sharp wit hiding behind his fool's facade.

But Tony was also deceptively thoughtful. Just the previous week, he had treated Gibbs to dinner at his favorite Korean barbecue. It had been an unspoken tradition for the last few years. Also unspoken was the reason. It was the anniversary of Gibbs' wife Shannon and daughter Kelly's deaths. At first, Gibbs had been reluctant, but true to himself, Tony had been nothing but persistent and in the end, Gibbs had no choice but to give in. Tony knew that Gibbs didn't want anyone to make a big deal about it or give him any kind of sympathy. But he also didn't want Gibbs to be alone with his feelings. The dinners were Tony's way of saying "you still have a reason to live. You still have people who care about you."

"All this time," Gibbs thought to himself. "All that Tony has done for NCIS. Hell, all that he's done for ME! Would it kill me to thank him? To show a little appreciation? Doesn't Tony deserve that much?"

In the dimly lit bullpen, his features softened by his desk lamp, Gibbs couldn't help but notice the way Tony's green eyes and full lips stood out. There was a feminine softness to Tony's features, which he must have inherited from his mother. "He's man-pretty," Gibbs decided, smiling to himself.

Closing his eyes and rubbing his temples, Gibbs shuddered inwardly. Thinking about how he needed to show Tony more appreciation was one thing. Finding himself attracted to Tony, however? These were feelings all too new for him to be comfortable with just yet. And yet, the past few months, every time he looked at his senior field agent, he felt an urge that seemed at once strange and familiar. Awkward, yet comfortable. His heart was leading the way, disregarding what his better judgement was telling him, and basic common sense.

"Heading home now, boss," Tony informed Gibbs, as he stood up and gathered his things.

"Wait!" Gibbs stopped him, getting on his feet.

Tony turned around expectantly. "Yeah, boss?"

Gibbs had no idea what to say. His heart was speaking without his mind's consent, and for a moment, he felt completely at a loss. "Thank you," Gibbs finally whispered gently. "Thank you for everything."

Tony nearly fell backwards at what he had heard. Gibbs' uncharacteristically gracious, quiet, and even a little awkward statement seemed unreal to Tony's ears. There was an almost tentative quality to his voice, as if he feared showing this side of himself would cause Tony to lose respect for him. But Gibbs' eyes shone with resolve. There was a weight to his words. Beyond the words themselves, Tony felt that Gibbs was communicating something much deeper, something that was especially intended for him.

"Just doing my job," Tony said, smiling uncomfortably and trying his best to ignore the fluster of his stomach at the older man's appraisal.

Gibbs' blue eyed stared with an intense sincerity into Tony's green. "No. It's more than that. You're a good man, Tony. And it's high time I let you know."

Tony grinned, trying to act as natural as possible in reaction to Gibbs' odd behavior. "Consider me notified then!"

"Come on." Gibbs grabbed his keys and put them in his pocket."I'll take the elevator down with you.

Tony hesitated only for a second before following him down obediently.

No sooner had they entered the elevator, than Gibbs hit the emergency stop switch. The cab stopped abruptly, but he didn't move, staring blankly at his blurry reflection on the metal doors.

"What am I doing?" he thought, watching his body and heart betray his mind. On the one hand, there was a good chance Tony could react badly to what he was about to do. File a sexual harassment lawsuit against him or, worse yet, Gibbs could lose his best agent and dear friend. But the urges were far too strong for him to care too much about consequences. And then there was his gut. His famous gut, telling him that Tony wanted it, too. Gibbs' gut had rarely failed him before. He hoped it wasn't about to now. He prayed he wasn't about to do something terrible that both of them would live to regret. Taking a deep breath, he turned towards Tony. There was no way he was leaving this elevator without knowing for sure.

"Something wrong?" Tony asked cautiously, not quite sure what to make of the indecipherable look Gibbs was giving him.

Without a word, Gibbs slowly closed the distance between them and drove Tony against the wall, his arms resting on either side of Tony's head. Before he could change his mind, he leaned forward and kissed Tony deeply. His lips caressing the soft fullness of Tony's. His heart catching slightly as he swore he heard Tony moaning softly. Or maybe that was his imagination?

"Oh God! What have I done?" Gibbs pulled away from the kiss, panting, his heart pounding in his chest. He forced himself to keep his eyes closed, worried about the reaction he'd find on Tony's face when he opened them.

Finally opening his eyes, Gibbs was surprised to find Tony was smiling at him.

"Do you have any idea how long I've waited for you to do that?" Catching sight of Gibbs' bewildered reaction, Tony couldn't help but to smile even wider.

Gibbs felt relief wash over him at Tony's explicit consent, confirming their mutual attraction.

Before Gibbs had time to recover from his surprise, though, Tony grabbed his collar and pulled him forwards, crushing their lips in a new kiss.

Wrapping his arms around Tony's waist, Gibbs couldn't help smiling as their kiss deepened.

It seemed they were in for another long night.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

2008 - Turnmill Nuclear Power Station - Cardiff

If asked, Owen would have said that one of the most uncanny things about his current situation, was the absolute lack of pain. Not that he was complaining. On the contrary. Given the circumstances, his complete insensitivity was quite a blessing and he was grateful for that.

In fact, it was weird, but not so surprising. After all, since being dead didn't allow him to feel any pleasure, it seemed only fair that he didn't feel any pain either, as the radioactive fluids filling the room were slowly dissolving his body.

Moreover, for a doctor like him, to be the witness of the slow decay of his own body was a rather educative experience. A freaky, not to say gross experience, but fascinating anyway. Too bad, though, that he had no one to share it with, even though he supposed only few people would have been able to fully appreciate such a case study.

Although he liked to pretend otherwise, loneliness was also another unsettling aspect of his predicament. The complete silence filling the room, in particular, tended to really get on his nerves at first, but after a while he had grown accustomed to it and now, it didn't even bother him so much anymore.

At the early stages of the process, he had expected, and sincerely hoped, that once this body would be completely disintegrated, death would finally claim him and put an end to that macabre joke his life had turned into.

Unfortunately, once again, nothing had happened. His energy had stayed unaffected. His mind had remained clear and though he technically didn't have eyes nor ears anymore, he was still perfectly aware of his surroundings. He could see the outline of the consoles and control panels through the thick blue water, as well as the bundle of multi color wires running along the walls. And when he truly concentrated, he was also able to perceive a soft humming intermittently coming from the outside.

In fact, if he was honest with himself, what frightened him the most wasn't the loss of his body, though he really, really missed it. It wasn't either the suffocating silence of the chamber. No, it was the appalling perspective of spending God only knew how many years trapped in that radioactive sarcophagus with no other choice but to face his inner demons.

Being reduced to the state of ectoplasm was leaving him with far too much time to think for his own good and not enough distraction to stop the dark thoughts whirling in his mind. No matter his best effort to think positively, he couldn't help rehashing the failures of his past.

Of all the regrets he might have, the way Tosh and he had missed each other was certainly the most painful. If only he had been less blind and stubborn at the time, things could have been so different. At least, they could have had some good time together before he "died" the first time. Really, if he still had fists to do so, he would have punched himself for being so stupid.

Anyway, wallowing into self-flagellation was of no use. What was done was done and there was nothing he could do now to change it. He just hoped Tosh had finally met someone who was good for her and treated her the way she deserved. Someone who made her feel safe and cared. A fellow as good as Tommy Brockless and not a selfish bastard like him.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Tony awoke with warm breath and tender kisses dancing upon his neck. He snuggled deeper under the blankets, leaning into Gibbs' chest.

"Hey," Gibbs whispered, pulling Tony closer and pressing his hard cock against Tony's backside. Tony's eyes shot open at the sensation, and he let out a soft whimper.

"Good morning!" he exclaimed. Gibbs had certainly gotten his attention, and Tony found himself wanting more.

Over the past week, he had grown used to waking up in Gibbs' bed, wrapped in the warmth of his strong, yet gentle embrace.

Neither one of them was known to be shy when it came to sexuality, but they had implicitly agreed to take it slow. In spite of the obvious desire they had for each other, these past nights had been more of a slow burn. A time of exploration. Becoming acquainted with one another's bodies. Learning where to touch, lick, bite or prod in just the right way to send the other man over the edge.

Tony felt he was living in a dream. This recent development in his relationship with Gibbs was welcome, but unexpected. For years, Tony could only admit to himself the feelings he harbored for the older man. The flutter in his heart when he was near. The ache of longing for someone so very close to him, yet seemingly unattainable.

So it came as a pleasant surprise when Gibbs finally kissed him in the elevator. And everything changed after that. Suddenly, there was an ease to their relationship. A comfort, and the feeling that it was safe to just be himself.

Tony confessed to Gibbs that he had been with men in the past, though it was many years ago. Even though he had kept that side of himself hidden, it was always a part of his identity. To Tony's surprise, Gibbs told him he already suspected as much.

Even more surprising was Gibbs' confession that he had a secret boyfriend as a teenager, and some of his earliest sexual experiences were with him. "You couldn't talk about that kind of thing back then, particularly when you lived in a small town", Gibbs had explained. Both men had to laugh when they realized that, at that time, Tony was only a toddler.

But now, Tony wanted more. His body craved more! And if Gibbs' hard member was any indication, he did, too. Enough exploration. He wanted the whole thing. Tony wanted Gibbs inside of him.

"I'm ready," Tony whispered.

"So am I," Gibbs said, looking back regretfully at the alarm clock and sighing. If they didn't get up soon, they were going to be late for work. And as much as Gibbs wanted to stay in bed all day with Tony, they had important jobs to do. Besides, if the past week was any indication, Tony would likely melt into a quivering puddle by the time Gibbs was through with him.

"I want it," Gibbs continued. "But we need to leave for work."

Tony pulled a face. "Do we have to?"

"I'm afraid so." Gibbs squeezed Tony tighter, his member parting Tony's cheeks slightly as he did so, and Tony couldn't help but let out another little whimper, feeling as though he was being teased. It didn't help that Gibbs had begun playing with his nipples. "God, this man will be the death of me!" Tony thought, grabbing a fistful of sheets.

"I do want it, you know," Gibbs reassured Tony. "But when it finally happens, I want it to be special. It can't be rushed."

Grabbing Tony's hips, he pulled Tony's ass back into his own forward thrusting crotch.

"I'm gonna take my time with you, Tony," Gibbs promised. "Then I'm gonna make you cum so hard that you won't even remember your name."

Tony moaned breathlessly. "Damn it, Jethro...you're not making this easy for me..."

Slowly and gently, Gibbs eased back, loosening his hold on Tony .

"Hey." Gibbs rested a hand lightly on Tony's hip. "It will be worth it. I promise. Besides...we still need to shower."

Tony turned around, an eager grin spreading across his face as he saw Gibbs raise an eyebrow seductively. There was no need to guess what he had in mind.

"Make sure you're thorough with me," Tony said as they got out of bed together and made their way to the door. "I've been feeling really dirty lately."

Gibbs rolled his eyes at Tony's corny line and gave him a smack on the ass.

"Hey!" Tony yelped, pretending to be outraged and covering his backside protectively.

"You say a cheeseball line like that again, I'll smack you harder!" Gibbs threatened.

"Ooh...promise?"

Gibbs shook his head and laughed as he and Tony entered the bathroom together. Things were about to get steamy.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Owen was once again lost in thoughts when the alarms went off all of the sudden, their muffled blaring reaching him through the water, while the red flashing lights turned the place into a surrealistic underground disco.

He was still trying to find out what was going on when he suddenly felt a tug. The pressure was almost imperceptible, but he could sense it nevertheless. No doubt, the usually motionless thick blue waters were moving.

The tug increased, the fluids sliding around him more and more forcefully, and it suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks.

They were purging the chamber! How could he have missed it? It was obvious that sooner or later they would undertake to repair the damaged power plant. And the first stage of labor required, of course, to empty the chamber of its radioactive fluids and to decontaminate it.

So, if he didn't want to end up bottled into a sealed container bound for a reprocessing plant, he needed to find something to hold on to, and preferably sooner than later. Assuming that he was able to hold on to something.

Looking frantically around him, he caught sight of a bundle of electrical cords not too far on his right. If only he could reach them.

He had never tried to move before. There had been nowhere to go, so he had merely confined himself to floating idly in his culture broth without thinking further. It was now high time to find out what he was capable of.

Without even knowing if he would be able to reach the cords, let alone grab them, he undertook to focus all his energy on his goal, picturing himself moving, as the whirls around him intensified even more.

Slowly, lingeringly, he felt something stirred in him. A long silvery strand entered his line of vision and in spite of the urgency of his situation, he couldn't help watching in awe as it stretched out more and more, until it wrapped firmly around one of the cords. Another strand soon joined the first, then another one and, in no time, Owen felt himself being pulled towards the electrical enclosure housing the cables.

Clinging onto his improvised anchor, he watched the waters slowly withdrawing until the room was completely emptied. It took him a moment to adjust. The sensation of the air surrounding him was strange after all that time spent in the water and he suddenly felt heavy and numb.

Safely tucked away into his closet, he tried to make himself as small as possible and waited for what was to come.

After what seemed like hours, the door, which had fatefully closed on his face after the power surge, finally slid open to the characteristic figures of men in Hazmat suit.

As they came in, Owen instinctively recoiled even further into the enclosure and carefully peeked through the crack as they set up their equipment.

One of them soon produced what Owen recognized as a Geiger counter and started to sweep the walls with it, coming dangerously close to his hiding place with each passing second. For a fleeting moment, the former doctor thought he was done for, but once again fate seemed to be on his side. The counter didn't particularly react and the man merely passed him by, unaware of his presence.

After that, holding his breath, if only metaphorically, Owen watched them work for a moment. They were obviously talking to each other, but behind the masks of the Hazmat suits, he couldn't decipher what they were saying. Given the level of radioactivity in the chamber, Owen didn't expect them to stay long, so he had to quickly think of a way to discreetly get out of here. Just because they hadn't found him this time didn't mean that they wouldn't be luckier the next one, and he had no desire to discover what they would do if they managed to catch him.

Forcing himself to stay calm, he tried to clear his mind. Experience had shown that if he concentrated enough he could somehow "solidify" his energy so, maybe it was also possible for him to reverse the process and to "evaporate" to order. There wasn't any guarantee of success, but at least, it deserved a try.

So, for the next fifteen minutes, Owen made a concerted effort to plaster himself as much as possible against the wall. After only a few seconds, he felt the familiar stir in him as his aura became thinner and thinner, until it reduced to a barely noticeable silvery film on the wall.

It was a perfect camouflage, but it remained to be seen if he could move fast enough to reach the sliding door before it was sealed again.

Before he could ponder over his options, the alarms went off once again while one of men was giving the signal for departure and he and his companions headed to the exit in single file.

It was now or never, so Owen didn't waste time dithering around and hurriedly pictured himself sliding out of the closet and crawling along the wall in their wakes.

To his utter amazement, he almost immediately "felt" the painted cement of the wall move under him as he hurried towards the exit.

Taking care to always remain out of the other men's line of sight, he followed them along the corridors of the power plant. They soon reached an air-lock where other technicians undertook to decontaminate their attire, under the watch of two men in army uniforms.

Owen didn't hesitate. Flattening himself on the ground, he swiftly wove between the men's feet. Literally surfing on the puddles created by the decontamination showers, he rushed towards the outside, towards freedom.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

While Tony and Gibbs didn't intend to advertise their relationship, they were aware that the dynamics between them had subtly changed. The head slaps were lighter - more like gentle pats, and there was an ease to their interactions that had been absent before. Tony no longer feigned to be intimidated by Gibbs. Instead, they treated each other as equals, with mutual respect and admiration.

The couple noticed the suspicious looks from their coworkers, and they made a game out of guessing who would be the first to figure things out and how long it would take them.

It was around 9:45am, and Gibbs, McGee and Ziva were sitting at their desks doing paperwork. Tony, however, was nowhere to be seen.

"Tony is late again!" Ziva hissed, turning her head and glaring at the elevator.

"He'll be here," Gibbs said calmly, without looking up.

"How can you be so sure?" Ziva persisted. "Perhaps he is passed out in some woman's bed."

Gibbs chuckled. "I can assure you, Ziva, he's not."

Before Ziva could question Gibbs on how he could be sure of that, the elevator dinged, and Tony walked out, holding a drink tray. Setting it down on his desk, he let his bag slide off of his shoulder before handing one of the coffees to Gibbs.

"Black, and strong enough to fuel your car. Just the way you like it, Jethro."

Gibbs raised the insulated paper cup to Tony, as if giving a toast, nodding and smiling appreciatively.

"What? Only two coffees?" McGee asked, slightly offended. "What about Ziva and me?"

"Get your own, McCaffeine Withdrawal," Tony teased, giving McGee's desk a few good knocks before walking back to his own desk.

Glancing over at Gibbs, McGee and Ziva could see him smirking, which made the situation all the more maddening. Gibbs and Tony were hiding something, and they were practically laughing in the faces of anyone not in on their little secret.

Gibbs' phone rang as Tony was sitting down to attend to his paperwork. Moments later, he was on his way up to MTAC.

Once Gibbs was out of sight, Tony found Ziva and McGee standing in front of his desk.

"Can I help you?" he asked, mildly irritated.

"Tell us what is going on between you and Gibbs!" Ziva demanded. "You call him 'Jethro', he calls you 'Tony' -"

"So what?" Tony shrugged nonchalantly. "We've worked together for years now. I don't see what's so strange about the fact that we use our first names from time to time. I don't make a fuss when he calls you 'Ziva'."

"He smiles at you. All the time. And no more head slaps," McGee continued.

"He still slaps my head!" Tony protested.

"More like he pets your head. Like a puppy," McGee teased.

Ziva smirked, rubbing behind Tony's ears as if he were a dog, and Tony quickly swatted her hands away, his irritation clearly growing.

Making her way to the side of Tony's desk, Ziva leaned in until she was right in his face.

"What secrets are you keeping?" she hissed. "Is this for another undercover op?"

"You're investigators. Figure it out!" Tony taunted, standing up abruptly, pushing past Ziva and walking to the men's room.

McGee and Ziva simply glared after him in exasperation.

"It's a puzzle, to be sure," Ziva said, as she and McGee sat back down at their desks. "Why are Gibbs and Tony suddenly so chummy? Maybe one of them is sick? Or dying?"

"Not Gibbs," McGee said with confidence. "Otherwise, he'd be nice to all of us."

"Tony then?" Ziva guessed.

"Nah. I've seen half dead Tony. He's not sick, trust me. Besides, he's being far too obnoxious for a dying man," McGee reasoned.

"Then why the sudden closeness?" Ziva wondered, tapping her fingers on her desk."Does Abby have any guesses?"

"Yeah. She thinks they're a couple now," McGee answered, looking up from his typing.

Ziva's eyes met McGee's and they both started laughing.

"A couple? Those two?" Ziva asked in disbelief, between fits of giggles.

"I think Abby just wants it to be true," McGee smirked. "Honestly, can you imagine that? Gibbs and Tony together? Like a couple?"

Ziva pulled a face. "Not even in my wildest dreams. "

"You're not still talking about us, are you?" Tony asked, coming back from the bathroom. "You know, it's not nice to gossip," he scolded playfully.

At that moment, Ziva caught sight of Gibbs coming down from MTAC. Stopping on the stairs, he shot her a glare that told her now was the time to drop the subject.

Ziva cleared her throat. "No," she lied." Not everything is about you, Tony."

Tony sat down with a self satisfied grin, and when Gibbs passed Tony's desk on the way to his own, the two men exchanged a knowing glance.

Ziva groaned softly. It was like they knew how annoying they were being! But for all their smug secrecy, Gibbs and Tony continued to work efficiently. And she was going to do the same. Because experience had taught her that nothing stays secret forever.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Compared to his escape from the power plant, Owen's trip through the city to return to the Hub turned out to be a piece of cake. Thanks to Cardiff's characteristic foul weather, nobody was paying attention to an innocuous patch of fog roaming the streets, and he reached the Pier in no time.

Sneaking into the Hub revealed to be even easier, now that he was starting to master his new ability to change shape on demand. The place was abound with disused entries and all Owen had to do was to flatten once again and slip under one of them.

Owen's excitement had been growing on his way to the Hub and now he was nearly bouncing against the walls. He couldn't wait to see his teammates again and let them know that he was still alive. Well sort of. Although he wasn't able to speak anymore, he was confident that he would find a way to communicate with them. He seemed to recall Tosh had a device which could help to translate his brain waves or whatever they were actually. Owen felt a pleasant warmth spread through him. Tosh… Soon, he would have a chance to see her again. Her shy smile. Her kind eyes.

By the time he reached the main area, he was literally flitting in the air, but to his utter dismay, he found the place totally deserted.

The work stations were all turned on, so he assumed the team was outside, tracking whatever flotsam and jetsam the Rift had spit out this time.

Deciding to make the best of it, Owen started to wander around, reacquainting with his former work place and enjoying the familiarity of the premises. He had never realized how much he loved this place before he was deprived of it.

The autopsy bay was a mess and he took a mental note to give the Tea Boy an earful about that. Going back to the main area, he noticed for the first time that not only the autopsy, but also the entire place was less tidy than it used to be. This kind of slackening wasn't like the Ianto he remembered. Something was off, but he couldn't put his finger on it, metaphorically speaking.

Looking around, his eyes fell on the sink in the little kitchen and he suddenly felt like someone had thrown a bucket of iced water to him. Three cups were drying in the sink. Only three cups… A wave of panic crashed on him. Even when a member of the team had a day off, their cups never left the dish drainer. There was only one reason why one would be missing, but it couldn't be...

No, no, no, no! After everything he had been through, it just couldn't happen!

He hurried to the nearest workstation. Forcing his aura to form the rough shape of fingers, he clumsily typed on the keyboard and a series of windows popped open on the screen.

"Jack Harkness. ACTIVE."

"Gwen Cooper Williams. ACTIVE."

"Ianto Jones. ACTIVE."

"Toshiko Sato. DECEASED."

Unable to think rationally anymore, Owen flew towards the morgue, his mind stubbornly refusing to face reality.

As he reached the vault, he was greeted by the usual oppressive atmosphere and instinctively slowed down as he approached the grim rows of drawers.

There it was. A small white label neatly slipped into its metallic frame. An innocuous little label which was mercilessly shattering what little hope he still had.

"Toshiko Sato. 04/07/2008."

He absently noticed that she had died the same day he had ended up trapped in the power plant. So, he had been right. She had been hurting, but not only from her arm as she had pretended. She had been dying and yet she had used what little force she still had to comfort him instead of trying to save her own life.

Staring into space, he lost track of time, wishing whole-heartedly that he could be as immune against the emotional pain as he was against the physical one.

The need to see her one last time overwhelmed him and without much effort, he stretched his aura into a thin strand, before easily seeping through the join into the drawer .

His vital energy was slightly glowing in the dark, lighting up the delicate features of her face. He lovingly brushed her bottom lip. Even in death, she remained beautiful.

He smiled inwardly.

She looked so peaceful… So unharmed. As if she was about to wake up at any moment.

Making up his mind, he slowly spread his aura above her ice-cold body, covering her from head to toe like an airy blanket.

He had failed to protect her when she was still alive, but from now on, he intended to stay by her side, and watch her whatever happened. His time as a human being might be over, but for the rest of his "life", he swore to himself that he would never let go of her again.


	2. Resurrection and Conception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Resurrection, conception, and intense passion. I'd say this chapter more than earns the M rating! ;)
> 
> ~ ThePeachyMonkey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the end of the next chapter, the NCIS and Torchwood sides of the story will start to come together. In the meantime, some important things are established in this chapter.

Gibbs and Tony had never been in such a hurry to finish their work. But, true to their natures, they did everything they needed to before leaving. As tempting as the promise of what was sure to be wild, intense, passionate love making was, other people were counting on them. And they wouldn't be very good investigators if they half assed it.

Yet, despite the fact that they weren't finished until around 9:30, it wasn't bad considering. Ziva and McGee had left before them, and they ate pizza together at Tony's desk while taking a break from finishing their paperwork. Not what most would call a "romantic" dinner. But they were alone together, feeling no need to put on an act. More motivated to get the job done than they had ever felt before.

Once they were finally home, Gibbs led Tony into the bedroom with a tenderness not usually associated with the former marine. They stood in the dark for a moment, until Gibbs lit a single candle sitting atop the dresser.

Looking at Tony, his beautiful features softened in the candle light, his eyes filled with hungry anticipation, Gibbs felt his heart swell. The love he felt for the younger man was overwhelming sometimes.

The two men sat down on the edge of the bed together, and Gibbs squeezed Tony's hand before lightly kissing it.

"I have something for you," he said, turning to pick up a small box from the night stand.

Tony scratched the back of his head, looking slightly embarrassed. "Oh. I didn't realize we were doing gifts..."

Gibbs shook his head "Relax." He placed the box in Tony's hand, cupping his own hand over it. "I didn't spend any money on this."

Gibbs slowly removed his hand from the box, allowing Tony to examine it.

It was a beautiful wooden box, with a rose intricately carved on the lid. The box was in very good condition, though likely very old. For a moment, Tony just admired the box, tracing his finger along the carving.

"Go on. Open it!" Gibbs nudged.

Looking up to see Gibbs' amused expression, Tony laughed nervously, opening the box.

Inside was a gold pendant. On one side of the pendant appeared an image of a cat, wearing a nose ring, and other elegant accessories. It reminded Tony of Egyptian artwork he had seen. On the other side of the pendant was a simple sillhouette of a cat against the full moon. This may have been a small piece of jewelry, but it was truly art!

Gibbs had to smile as he watched Tony's eyes and mouth widen, turning over the pendant, and admiring the beautifully detailed engravings.

"That belonged to Shannon," Gibbs told Tony. "Family heirloom. I want you to have it now."

"Jethro..." Tony began, at a loss for words. "I can't...she was..."

"Shh." Gibbs cupped his hand against Tony's cheek. Taking the pendant from Tony's hand, he got up behind the younger man, fastening it around his neck.

"I love you, Tony. In a way I haven't loved anyone since Shannon. If she could see how happy you make me, and how you've changed me...I think she'd want you to have this." Wrapping an arm around Tony, Gibbs kissed him softly on the neck.

"B-but...are y-you sure?" Tony stuttered uncertainly, leaning back and moaning as Gibbs continued to kiss his neck, and down to his shoulders. "You want to c-commit to me like this? You know my history with relationships."

Gibbs stopped what he was doing, and returned to the edge of the bed, sitting beside Tony. Clasping Tony's hands, Gibbs gave him a look of unwavering love.

"I do," he said. "And you know my history. Believe me, the thought had never crossed my mind to give this to one of my ex-wives." Gibbs would have almost laughed at the incongruity of this mere idea, if he hadn't be so focused on finding the right words to let Tony know how he felt about him. "But I see the way you look at me, and I know the way that I feel when I'm with you. History is just that. But right now, I'm sure of what we have. For the first time in years, I love someone, and mean it."

Tony turned away from Gibbs, looking down into his lap.

"Hey." Gibbs paced a hand on Tony's shoulder, worried he might have said something wrong, or come on a little too strong. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Tony's voice cracked. "I just don't want you to see me cry. You must find it ridiculous, but it's so... I don't know... It's..." Tony took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. "It's just that I never thought someone would ever love me so much."

Embracing Tony from behind, Gibbs pulled him close, kissing a wet, tear stained cheek. "Do you like your gift?"

"I love it," Tony answered, clasping the pendant tightly in his hand. "But I love you more."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

2009 – The Hub - Cardiff

The blast had been devastating, and it took Owen a moment to get his bearings. One moment he was lying beside Tosh, drinking in the sight of her peaceful beauty while picturing what could have been their life together and the next one, he was sent flying through the morgue as most of the building collapsed on itself.

Looking around him, he realized that he had crashed on a pile of rubble. By the look of it, the blast had hit hard the wall behind the cryochamber, causing the doors to burst open and the stretchers to be ejected with their occupants through the vaults. Well, in fact, through what was left of them, since half of the ceiling had ended up scattered on the ground, wires hanging everywhere in a festival of electric sparks.

If it hadn't been for a door torn off of its hinges which had landed over him, protecting him from most of the blast, Owen would certainly have ended up buried under a thick layer of rock.

Trying his best to gather his wits, his first thought was for Tosh, and he jerked upright. If he had been thrown out of the cryochamber, it was more than likely that she had been too. Where had she landed? He need to find her. There was no way he would abandon her.

Owen frantically looked around him, trying to make out the scene through the dust and smoke, when a voice calling for help startled him.

"Hello? Is there anybody here?"

Owen turned around to find Tosh lying on the ground some distance from where he stood. Her standard white hospital gown was covered with dust, but Owen couldn't help but to observe that she appeared a bit angelic and otherwordly this way. Having kept her lifeless body company for the past year, he was convinced. He was looking at an angel. The most beautiful of angels!

"Please, help me," Tosh called out. Her voice was trembling with fright and confusion, and all Owen wanted at that moment was to comfort her. He rushed towards Tosh without thinking, reaching out her.

"Tosh?" he said instinctively, without realizing that he was actually speaking. But he had no time to process this new development, because Tosh immediately replied.

"Owen, what happened?"

Owen stared at Tosh and stepped back slightly, surprised that she could see and hear him.

"You can see me?" he asked, his voice a stunned whisper.

"Of course I can. You're just in front of me," Tosh answered, as if Owen had just asked her the most ridiculous of questions . "Owen, what's wrong?"

Owen looked down to see a pair of hands. His hands. The same as before he dissolved in the power plant. His skin was paler than he remembered, and slightly translucent. He could also see that he was clad in the same clothes he was wearing at the time, except that the clothes were translucent too, as if it was a hologram.

"Owen," Tosh repeated as she tried to sit up. "What happened? What are we doing here? Tell me, please!" Her voice grew more and more frightened with each word, and she seemed on the verge to panic.

Owen wasn't sure how to answer. He was still trying to process how he had gotten his voice, and some semblance of his physical form back. He, like Tosh, had countless questions, and no real answers.

"I wish I could, but I haven't a clue," he finally said apologetically.

Tosh stayed silent for a moment, her eyes fixed on the ground, as she was trying to access a part of her memory. Something in her most recent Earthly past, upsetting enough to have been temporarily shut out.

"Oh God, I remember now. I was in Jack's arms and it was so cold… and it... it hurt… I was losing blood..." Tosh's voice was haunted, a quiver in her tone indicating repressed sobs.

Owen crawled closer, wanting desperately to comfort Tosh, but not daring to touch her.

"I'm sorry. I… I didn't know until I came back here. It's gonna be all right, I swear. Please calm down." At that moment, Owen wanted nothing more than to take Tosh into his arms. But he didn't yet know how that would work, or how it might feel to her. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her even more.

"Am I dead?" Tosh asked hesitantly, after a moment of painful silence.

"Well, until a few minutes ago, I'd have said yes." Owen pursed his lips. "But given the circumstances, I'm not so sure anymore."

Tosh looked up, her eyes veiled with unshed tears.

"You mean I'm resurrected? Like you?"

Owen hesitated, then motioned her to put her fingers on her jugular. "Can you… can you place your fingers just there?"

Keeping her gaze fixed on Owen, Tosh copied his example.

"Do you feel a pulse?"

Tosh nodded frantically, her eyes widening slightly.

Owen let out a heavy sigh. "Bloody hell."

Looking down awkwardly, Owen pointed at Tosh's gown. "Can you... just lift the...?"

Nodding uncomfortably, Tosh lifted the hem of her hospital gown to reveal a perfectly healed scar in the spot where Gray had injured her.

"This means I'm alive? For real?" Tosh's voice was filled with hope, and a twinge of excitement.

Owen tried not to wince at the word "real." A word that only served to emphasize his ghostly state.

"Well... I guess so."

He looked away, torn between relief and jealousy. He was happy for Tosh! So happy that she was alive and part of the world again! But there was also a sadness tearing at him. He had no physical form to share with the woman it had taken him far too long to realize he loved.

"What about you? What happened to you?" Tosh asked, pulling Owen out of his thoughts.

"What you told me would happen," he said with resignation. "The containment chamber was flooded with the irradiated coolant and my body decomposed."

"But you didn't die." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Nope. How surprising." Owen's tone was ironic and slightly bitter.

Tosh pointed at him, a look of puzzlement in her eyes.

"But I can see you. I mean, you look… normal."

Owen shrugged. "Don't ask me. I don't know any more than you."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of people shouting above them and the barking of dogs. Looking up, they caught sight of lights dancing through the cracks of the ceiling.

"Come on, we need to get out of here," Owen said anxiously, getting up and hurrying towards a safety exit, trying his best not to look at the corpses lying around them. Tosh followed, but tried to hold him back. She reached for his hand, then immediately pulled away as if it burned.

"Owen, wait! What about the others? We can't leave them behind."

Owen looked her straight in the eyes.

"Tosh, if they were anywhere near the explosion, they're dead. Well, maybe not Jack, but... Trust me, right now, there is nothing we can do. Our only chance is to get out of here and find out what's going on. Okay?"

He looked upward, frowning. "Something tells me those guys out there are not here to help us."

Tosh nodded solemnly in understanding, and Owen nodded in return.

"Come on."

Owen gathered up his energy and kicked the door open. Together, he and Tosh disappeared down a dark corridor.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Gibbs undid the buttons of Tony's shirt, lavishing kisses upon his bare chest and stomach as he did so.

Sliding the sleeves off of Tony's arms, Gibbs tossed the younger man's shirt onto a nearby chair, taking a moment to feel the gold pendant against Tony's flesh. The gentle pressure against his chest, and the look of loving resolve in Gibbs' eyes, alleviated some of the initial guilt Tony had felt at accepting such a precious heirloom. Tony should have known better. Gibbs would never give him such a gift unless he was absolutely certain of his decision to do so.

Gibbs reached out to take the supplies he needed from the nightstand drawer, Tony's eyes following his every move under his half-closed eyelids. Gibbs' hand hovered above the box of condoms for a second, before grabbing the bottle of lube and closing back the drawer with a thud.

He was about to resume his kissing when Tony suddenly grasped his wrist and stopped him.

"I would understand, you know," Tony whispered, with his eyes glued to some invisible point on the wall behind Gibbs. "With my reputation, you'd have every right to want to use protection... I..."

Pressing his forefinger on Tony's lips, Gibbs gently shut him up.

"Tony, I trust you. With life. Everyday. On and off the field. You are the one who protects me, not the one I need protection from." He was looking Tony straight in the eyes, and the younger man saw the honesty in his gaze.

Tony gave Gibbs a small, tentative nod, feeling relief wash over him at this confirmation of trust from the older man.

Gibbs nodded in return, then slowly pulled down Tony's pants, followed by his boxers, taking time along the way to grab a firm hold of his tight, shapely buttocks.

Tony's eyes closed at the touch, and his knees became weak. Gibbs took the opportunity to push Tony back onto the bed, sealing his lips around his already semi erect cock. Gibbs worked his lips and tongue like a true artist, and Tony found himself grabbing the sheets into tight fists, as his member swelled in the older man's mouth.

Gibbs was now swallowing Tony balls deep, and Tony, unable to speak, let out deep, guttural moans. He absolutely loved having Gibbs in control! It made him feel safe and cared for like never before. God knows he had been a rather adventurous lover until then, but what he felt every time Gibbs was touching him, this was definitely beyond anything he had ever experienced before.

The moans crescendoed into desperate whimpers laced with incoherent pleas as Gibbs kept mercilessly sucking and pumping Tony's shaft. His fingers were skillfully teasing his balls at the same time, creating a myriad of new sensations which were overwhelming Tony's body like a wild fire.

Tony was holding onto the edge with everything he had, but knew it was a lost battle. He felt tension coiled at the base of his spine, just before a strangled scream ripped his throat as he came hard and fast into Gibbs' mouth, his hips jerking upwards uncontrollably as the other man gleefully swallowed everything he offered.

With a smug smirk tugging his lips, Gibbs undertook to lick him clean, his eager tongue chasing away the last drop of cum which might have escaped his hungry mouth.

Once he was done with Tony's over sensitive cock, Gibbs crept up over his lover's body like a predator on the prowl and kissed him hungrily, his eyes shining with undisguised desire as they shared the taste of Tony's cum on their tongues.

"You ready?" Gibbs asked.

Tony just nodded stupidly. If Gibbs could do this to him with a blow job, he couldn't even begin to imagine the state he'd be in after sex!

Gibbs rolled him over onto his stomach, and Tony could hear him pop open the cap to the bottle of lube, squirting some onto his fingers.

Tony whimpered as Gibbs parted his cheeks and gently massaged his hole, then gasped as he inserted a first finger, thrusting it in and out rhythmically and adjusting his angle until he grazed Tony's prostate and forced a tight cry from the younger man's throat.

"Tell me to stop if it becomes to much for you," Gibbs gently requested.

"No. Keep going," Tony managed to squeak out.

Slowly, Gibbs added a second finger, skillfully stretching Tony's hole.

By the time Gibbs inserted the third finger, Tony's anticipation had reached maddening levels. Yes, it hurt. He hadn't had a man inside him in 20 years. But he knew he would be rewarded with the sweetest pleasure!

Just moments after Gibbs had removed his fingers from Tony, he felt the soothing sensation of lube on the quivering flesh of his opening.

Rolling over onto his back, Tony watched with fascination as Gibbs slathered lube upon his own cock, pumping it into a full on erection.

Tony knew what to do next. Though it had been some time, it all came back very naturally to him. As Gibbs hovered just above him, Tony threw his legs over the older man's shoulders.

Gibbs looked down at Tony as if he was about to devour him, then he lined his cock up and nudged gently against Tony's hole.

On a nod from Tony, he slowly pushed forward until he slipped past the tight ring of muscle.

"Deeper," Tony moaned, thrusting his hips up helpfully. Soon, Gibbs was all the way in.

"God!" Tony screamed in reaction to the intense burning. But before long, the pain gave way to pure pleasure.

True to his word, Gibbs took Tony slowly, deeply and thoroughly, bumping against Tony's prostate in just the right way. Tony dug his fingers into Gibbs' back, hips thrusting in time to his gyrations.

After awhile, all Tony could feel was pure pleasure. He entered a state of blissful oblivion as his body became one with Gibbs'. He had never felt anything so amazing in his life. The orgasmic energy coursing through his body was immeasurable, and absolutely indescribable. Somewhere in the haze of his mind, he could feel the weight of the golden pendant around his neck, the precious metal burning hot against his dampened skin, reminding him how much he loved the man in his arms, and how much he was loved in return.

For the second time that night, Tony felt himself barreling towards release. He was so close, right on the verge, but also desperate to make it last as long as possible. He was literally basking in bliss and nothing was existing anymore but Gibbs. Gibbs' mouth on his neck. Gibbs' fingers digging in the tender flesh of his hip, hard enough to leave a mark. Just that mere idea was enough to elicit a cry of pleasure from his parted lips. Oh yes, he wanted Gibbs to mark him, to make him his, forever.

Gibbs' rhythm increased and he pushed harder and harder into Tony. "Take me. Take me, I'm yours." The words were the only coherent thoughts swirling in his mind as Gibbs unrelentingly claimed his body, pounding into him with unbridled carnal need and wantonness, until wave after wave of electrical aftershocks coursed through him and he finally fell spiraling into an abyss of indescribable pleasure, barely conscious of Gibbs screaming his name as he followed Tony over the edge.

Lying in a satisfied heap, and barely aware of his own body, Tony slowly opened his eyes and saw Gibbs look down lovingly at him, obviously pleased with what he'd done to him.

"Was that everything you hoped it would be?" Gibbs asked, bestowing a kiss upon his lips and pressing the pendant tightly to Tony's chest.

"Better," Tony managed to answer in a hoarse voice. "Better...than..."

Tony was unable to finish his thought, and simply smiled up at Gibbs.

Gibbs smiled back, kissing Tony on the cheek as he settled down in bed beside him. Draping an arm around Tony's quivering body, Gibbs whispered.

"Goodnight, Tony. You were amazing! And I love you!"

"Love...you..." Tony started, as he quickly fell into a blissful slumber.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Tosh and Owen fled through the streets of Cardiff, leaving the destroyed Hub behind them. Tosh's knowledge of the emplacements of the CCTV helped them to avoid the cameras.

Though Owen didn't need to breathe, he was mindful of Tosh's discomfort, and, after a time, they stopped by the corner of a dimly lit street to let her catch her breath.

"You think we lost them?" Tosh panted, leaning against the side of an old brick building.

Owen peered around the corner, checking the street.

"No one in sight." He turned towards Tosh, shrugging. "We're supposed to be dead, so I guess the chances are high that they haven't even realized we were there. But better to be safe than sorry."

Tosh nodded in agreement, her hands resting on her hips as her breath slowly returned to normal.

"Maybe I should change." Tosh gestured to her gown. "These clothes aren't exactly discreet."

Owen didn't reply. He was too busy staring at Tosh with fascination, reveling in the steady rising and falling of her chest. Undeniable testimony of the amazing second chance he had been given.

"Owen?"

Tosh's voice pulled Owen out of his musing, and he cleared his throat awkwardly, hoping she hadn't notice him staring.

"All right. Stay put. I'll be right back," he said, before going away.

"Owen! Where are you going!" Tosh hissed.

Owen turned and lifted his hands in a soothing gesture.

"I won't be long. Trust me."

Tosh sighed, watching Owen disappear into the darkness. As she waited for him to return, she tried her best to ignore the cool of the night, giving her goose bumps under her flimsy hospital gown. Or the feeling of dread she felt every time she thought of her other teammates, who could be lost, or even dead. She felt disoriented and numb, but somehow, being with Owen made her feel safe. As long as she had him by her side, she was sure she could face anything.

Tosh tried to recall what had happened to her while she was dead, but nothing specific came to mind. No distinct images or sounds had left an impression. She remembered her last moments in the Hub, but afterwards, nothing until she woke up in the wreckage of the morgue near Owen.

However, there was a feeling that made her believe there was more after death than Jack had reported so many times. Jack, their leader who had come back from death countless times, was very insistent that after death, there is only darkness. Nothingness. Not a comforting thought, but Tosh was always thankful that he respected the team enough to be honest with them on the matter.

But when Tosh arose from the dead, there was a feeling of peace at first. For a fleeting moment, it felt as though she had awoken from a very pleasant dream. This feeling was fugacious, as she became aware of her circumstances and surroundings. Yet she couldn't shake it. Something in her heart told her that there was a heaven, and it had been her home for a time.

"Tosh!"

Owen finally returned with an armful of clothes, pulling Tosh out of her thoughts.

"Where did you get those?" she asked.

Owen rolled his eyes.

"The same place everyone does. In a clothing shop."

Tosh took the clothes gratefully and undertook to changing behind a dumpster. Owen turned his back, keeping an eye on their surroundings.

"You broke into a shop?" Tosh asked.

Owen tried his best to ignore the rustle of cloth coming off of Tosh's skin. It took every last bit of his willpower not to picture her naked body a few inches from him.

"Not exactly," he answered, staring at his shoes.

"Owen," Tosh scolded him.

"I wouldn't say that I 'broke' into the shop. It's more like I 'seeped' into it."

The rustling stopped behind him.

"Excuse me?" came Tosh's confused response.

Owen shuffled his feet and rubbed the back of his neck with a grimace.

"It's a bit hard to explain, you know."

"I'm a certified genius, remember?" Tosh snorted, resuming her dressing. "There are very few things I can't understand."

Owen let out a resigned sigh.

"Okay. I'll show you, but you have to promise me you won't freak out," he warned.

"Owen, please. I've just resurrected from the dead and I'm running the streets of Cardiff with a ghost, after some paramilitary organization blew up my workplace. Trust me, right now, nothing can make me freak out. So go on." Tosh insisted.

Owen turned around and spread out his arms, before dissolving into thin air.

Raising a hand to her mouth, Tosh stifled a curse in Japanese and stared back at Owen, eyes wide in surprise.

"Told you not to freak out," Owen said, as he rematerialized in front of her.

"I didn't freak out," Tosh stammered. "I was just… taken aback."

Owen looked down at his hand as he made it partially vanish.

"This trick is apparently part of the standard ghost panoply. That could come in handy," he noted.

Owen looked lovingly at Tosh for a moment, before changing the subject.

"You're beautiful," he complimented. Jeans, a black women's T and a leather jacket had never looked so sexy, he thought. They hugged Tosh's womanly curves in all the right places. "It looks good on you."

Tosh shyly looked down.

"How did you know, by the way?"

"Know what?" Owen asked distractedly, still focused how how gorgeous Tosh appeared to him.

"My size," Tosh replied.

"Oh, that." It was now Owen's turn to look away with embarrassment. "Well… I… may have thought of getting you that dress you fancied so much for your birthday." He paused, then literally blurted out the rest of his answer. "Hmm, anyway, I asked Gwen about your size and… voilà. Happy now?"

Tosh couldn't help but smile at the fake grumpiness Owen used to hide his discomfort. It was comfortable and familiar. After being thrust back into the world - a world that at the moment seemed threatening and hostile - this was quite welcome.

"It's kind of you," Tosh smiled at Owen.

Owen grunted noncommittally and they stayed silent for a moment.

"So, what do we do now?" Tosh finally asked.

Owen peered at the brightly lit façade of the Saint David by the other side of the bay.

"What Torchwood does the best. We hide in plain sight."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"I'm fine," Tony insisted weakly, leaning into the corner of the elevator and closing his eyes as he rode up with Gibbs, Ziva and McGee.

"You barfed at the crime scene," McGee quipped.

"Well, the guy was shot in the face, McGee. With a sawed-off shotgun. It was pretty gross," Tony reasoned, holding on to the walls to steady himself.

"Not your first gross crime scene, Tony," Ziva pointed out.

Gibbs shot them both a look to be quiet, and they quickly, if awkwardly, obeyed.

"Go home," Gibbs urged, trying his best to hide his concern behind his usual gruff demeanor. "You're in no condition to work."

The elevator stopped with a jolt, and Tony had to fight the urge to gag. The doors slid open, and Tony managed to peel himself out of the corner, but quickly lost his balance as he tried to step forward. Fortunately, Gibbs was there to catch him.

"You're in no condition to drive, either," Gibbs observed, carefully easing Tony down to sit on the floor. "You two go on." He waved off McGee and Ziva, who were looking at their friend with concern. "Let me take care of Tony. And McGee?"

"Yeah, boss?"

"Call down to Abby. Tell her Tony needs to lie down on her cot. We'll be down shortly." Gibbs knew that the soft hearted forensic scientist would be more than happy to offer her sick friend a place to rest.

"You got it,boss," McGee nodded, as the doors slid closed.

Gibbs walked over and turned on the emergency stop switch, then returned to Tony's side.

Sitting down next to Tony, he brushed away some hair that was plastered to Tony's sweaty forehead. Tony hadn't been feeling well for a few days now, and Gibbs had urged him not to come into work. But Tony, ever the stubborn one, had down played his symptoms, working through his discomfort. It pained Gibbs to see his lover suffering through work, when he should be resting and healing. But, short of restraining Tony, there wasn't much he could do to stop him.

But now, it seemed, Tony's body was forcing him to slow down. Leave it to him to do things the hard way!

"You're getting worse," Gibbs said, gently taking hold of Tony's hand, now that he had managed to borrow them some privacy. "You should see a doctor."

Tony shook his head. "No need. It's just a stomach bug."

"Stomach bugs don't work like this," Gibbs argued. "You shouldn't be getting sicker."

Tony sighed heavily. He didn't have the strength to debate the issue.

"Will you at least let Ducky look you over?" Gibbs asked in a subdued tone.

"But autopsy -" Tony began, holding his hands over his nose and mouth. He had been very sensitive to smells lately. Odors he had previously been accustomed to now made him ill.

"I'll ask him to make sure no bodies are out when we go down." Gibbs reassured, anticipating Tony's needs.

"If I agree to let Ducky examine me, will you get off my back?" Tony asked, feigning annoyance, though he was actually very touched by Gibbs' concern for him.

"Probably. But no promises." Kissing Tony lightly on the forehead, Gibbs stood up and turned the elevator back on.

Once the elevator had stopped, Gibbs helped Tony to his feet, and together, they walked into the lab.

"Oh! My poor Tony!"

Abby came bounding over, coming very close to knocking Tony down with one of her over exuberant hugs. But Gibbs held up a cautionary hand, and she got the message, instead giving Tony a light, gentle hug.

Taking Tony by the hand, she led him over to the cot she had set up in front of the desk in her office, with a pillow and blanket.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable," Abby offered, watching Gibbs help Tony lie down. "Another pillow, aromatherapy candles..."

Tony's eyes widened in horror at the mere idea of aromatherapy candles.

"This is fine, Abby," Tony hurried to tell her , smiling gratefully.

"Okay..." Abby placed a bottle of water near Tony's head. "I'll just leave this here. In case you need it."

"Thanks, Abby," Tony whispered.

"Abs, can I have a few minutes alone with Tony?" Gibbs asked, pulling a blanket up around the younger man's shoulders.

Abby nodded. "Sure." She then looked at Tony. "I hope you feel better." After Tony smiled at her, she turned around, walking out of her office, and back out into the lab.

Only once they were alone, Gibbs allowed himself to rub a hand along the length of one of his lover's arms, giving Tony a look that communicated a tenderness that was reserved only for him.

"You're making a big deal out of nothing, you know," Tony said dismissively, looking away, as if he was embarrassed to be fussed over.

"I don't think I am," Gibbs argued. "Even if this ends up being nothing, I need to be sure. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."

Yielding to temptation, Gibbs leaned over and planted a kiss on Tony's lips. Tony responded by sitting up and reaching out his arms, and soon the couple was tangled a loving embrace, punctuated by soft kisses.

They were so lost in the moment, that they barely noticed the doors to Abby's office sliding open.

"Yes! I knew it!"

The shriek startled them. Tony looked up and Gibbs turned around to see Abby beaming happily at them. Ziva and McGee were standing with her, the looks of shock and anger in their eyes making Tony feel even sicker than before.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Owen stood by the large window of one of the bedroom suites at the Saint David, watching the city lights twinkling as far as the eye could see. His former apartment had a similar view, and he had forgotten how beautiful Cardiff could be at night. It was somehow a soothing view, and he guessed it was certainly one of the reasons for Jack's love of rooftops.

Behind him, the sound of running water could be heard coming from the adjacent bathroom, where Tosh was taking a long shower to get rid of the filth of the night. He wished he could do the same, but showers were meant for the living.

It had been a very long and exhausting night. On their way to the hotel, Owen and Tosh had stopped by an electronics shop. Once again, he had seeped into it and discreetly retrieved the supplies Tosh needed to cobble a credit card marker. The device allowed them to withdraw enough cash to cover their needs for a few days, without attracting attention to themselves. They had agreed to wait until the next day to get the guns and computer equipment necessary for their search. The night had been rough, especially for Tosh, and they needed to rest for now.

Once at the hotel, Tosh checked in at reception. Owen, meanwhile, remained in the background. He had no idea what she had told the receptionist for them to end up with the bridal suite, but he was thankful for it. After more than a year confined with Tosh in the cryochamber, Owen really needed space. He needed room to breath, metaphorically speaking.

Owen's eyes fell on the table and the remnants of their diner. One plate remained untouched. Yet another simple pleasure reserved for the living that he missed.

Owen glared at his reflection in the window. This was just an illusion. A poor imitation of who he had once been. Though he was truly happy that Tosh was alive again, he also felt sadness and anger. Owen's desire for Tosh was undimmed, but he had nothing to offer her. No real body. No arms to hold her. No mouth to kiss her.

It was unfair that Tosh had once again ended up with that pitiful ersatz of a man Owen had become. Once they found out what was going on and reunited with their friends, he would have to do the right thing and let her go. He had already tried to push her away after he died for the first time, but Tosh was persistent, and he had finally given in to his desire to be close to her. This time, he would be stronger. She needed to move on and find happiness, away from him.

The sound of the shower stopped, but Owen hadn't noticed until he caught Tosh's reflection just behind him. She was dressed in a comfy bathrobe, her skin glowing. Owen thought she looked radiant! If he had breath, she certainly would have taken it away!

But no! He couldn't let these urges take control! In his ghostly state, there was no way Owen could make Tosh happy. And he had hurt her enough before. He wasn't about to make things worse. So Owen made the painful decision to put his feelings aside and get down to business.

"I'll need to run some tests, but I think there must have been a transfer between your cells and the energy that keeps me alive," Owen immediately began, deliberately avoiding Tosh's gaze as he paced in front of the window.

"That's the only explanation I can think of for your resurrection and my sudden 'reappearance'. The explosion of the Hub may have created a surge of vortex energy which altered my metabolism when we were still in the cryochamber, and induced a transfer between the atoms of your body and the energy of my aura. I supposed it works on the same principle as communicating vessels.

It remains to be seen if this is just an isolated reaction, or if it can be repeated. Imagine that, 'Owen Harper, the living resurrection gauntlet'," he laughed bitterly, pointing to himself.

"As for my physical form, I guess it could be some sort of mental projection of my old self. A copying mechanism generated by my mind to compensate the loss of my body."

Owen was painfully aware that he was rambling, but it was all he could do to hide his discomfort.

Tosh looked at him thoughtfully and he felt himself squirm under her scrutiny.

"Is that really what you're thinking about, Owen?" she asked, though she already suspected the answer.

Owen looked away, his lips pressed tightly together.

"I'm no good for you Tosh. I'm… nothing. Just a pitiful illusion"

"Owen…"

"Please, Tosh, don't make it even harder than it already is," Owen said sadly.

Tosh lifted her hand to stop him, her eyes shining with anger.

"Owen! Can you listen to me for once and shut up?"

Owen stared at her, taken aback by the virulence of her reaction.

"When are you going to understand? I chose you, Owen Harper! Long before you died and long before you became a ghost. I chose you to be the one in my life and there is nothing you could say that would make me change my mind."

Tosh stepped closer, locking Owen in her gaze. She needed to be sure he understood.

"It's high time it sinks into that thick head of yours that I love you. I already loved you when you were an insensitive bastard, and I still love you the same now. So you'd better save your breath for a better use."

"I don't breath," Owen couldn't help pointing out.

"Shut up!" she cut him off. "I don't know how long I'll stay alive. One year, one month or one night. All I know is that I want to spend that time with you. Do you get that? Do you?"

Owen lowered his eyes and merely nodded, overwhelmed with emotion.

"I love you too. I…"

"Shhh…"

Tosh reached out.

"Touch me."

Owen's head shot up.

"What?" He shook his head. "I don't think it's a good idea. We don't even know…"

"Please," Tosh insisted, holding her hand in front of him. "Trust me."

After a few seconds of hesitation, Owen reluctantly took the offered hand and closed his eyes.

"What do you feel?" asked Tosh, looking at him expectantly.

"It…prickles." Owen finally opened his eyes and looked at her with a faint smile. "You?"

Tosh smiled at him. "It's warm."

Tosh took a step forward, her face barely an inch from Owen's. They stared at each other for a moment, their faces lit by the soft glow of the city lights. Slowly, their lips brushed together. Tentatively at first, then with more passion.

Without even thinking, Owen's hands found their way into the hem of Tosh's bathrobe and he started caressing her shoulders and neck, eliciting soft moans of pleasure from her.

Slowly, they made their way towards the bed.

Looking up tentatively, Tosh removed her robe and tossed it to the floor. Flinging her naked form backward onto the bed, she watched, mesmerized, as Owen's clothing vanished from his body without a trace.

Taking in Owen's lithe form, Tosh was surprised by just how much lean muscle had been hiding from her vision for so long.

Owen, in turn, found himself drinking in the curves of Tosh's body. Her soft caramel skin glistening before him. Ready to receive whatever it was he would be able to give her.

Tosh nodded her consent, and Owen lay himself on top of her. It was a sensation unlike any either of them had experienced before. Tosh felt a gentle warmth wrapping around her. Tugging at her nipples. Caressing her inner thighs. She surprised them both when she was able to wrap her legs around Owen's back. A tingle spread throughout her body as she thrust her hips up, allowing him entry. There was no initial pain, and no need for lubricant. It was as if they fit together perfectly.

Owen hadn't been sure what to do with himself, but it all seemed to come to him quite naturally. The flexibility of his new state of being allowed him to move with ease, becoming one with Tosh. And though he was unable to feel physical pleasure, he could feed off of the pleasure he was giving her. The loving, orgasmic energy sustained him. Bringing him to a kind of sexual satisfaction beyond what his physical body would have been able to experience.

As Owen entered Tosh, listening to her moan, watching her writhe in pleasure, the warm tingling and gentle prickling consumed them both, until neither one of them seemed to know where Owen ended and Tosh began. Losing hold of his physical image, Owen melted into Tosh, spreading his aura within her. Content to rest there for the time being, as he sensed her euphoric bliss.

Tomorrow, they would go on the war path and find their friends. Together, they would track down the men responsible for the explosion at the Hub. Once they rendered them harmless, they would endeavor to enjoy the second chances they had been given, exploring the new perspectives which had opened to them.

But tonight, this was all they needed.


	3. Reunion and Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the end of this chapter, you'll see things finally start to come together. Then the fun begins! :)
> 
> ~ ThePeachyMonkey

As Owen's eyes rested on Ianto's lifeless body lying on one of the stretchers of the morgue, he felt a wave of sadness wash over him.

Once again, they had arrived too late.

After their first night at the Saint David, Owen and Tosh had spent the following day trying to run a trace on their friends and their attackers.

The money they had withdrawn the night before had been used to buy a couple of automatics at a gun shop and basic electronics. Owen had been amazed by the wonders Tosh could do with a simple PDA and a handful of components. It had taken them then less than two hours to locate the shell of the Torchwood SUV abandoned near a garbage dump outside of town, and one more hour to transfer what had been left of its equipment into their rental car, which was soon transformed into a moving headquarters.

The news had kept them updated on recent events, but there wasn’t much they could have done until they found what remained of their team. They had no clue of what was going on, or who was after them.

Tosh’s technical skills had been very helpful, but unfortunately, when they had finally located the warehouse where Jack was held prisoner, they had found it empty. Their teammates had already escaped, and the militaries had also left.

Taking their chances, they went back to the Pier. As expected, the place was deserted. Thanks to Owen’s ability, they had managed to scavenge some equipment that the militaries had missed amongst the ruins. Particularly, their precious Berakan’s scan.

While Tosh was trying her best to find a lead and unfold the mystery of the 456, Owen ran tests on both of them, which had confirmed that his vital energy had been modified by the surge of vortex energy induced by explosion of the Hub. His theory of a transfer between Tosh’s cells and his energy had also been confirmed. But more than that, the tests had also shown that the phenomenon could be repeated. At his own risks, though. The level of his energy had dropped dramatically after Tosh’s resurrection. There was no guarantee that if he used his ability again it wouldn’t cause his death.

After an entire day of painstaking research, they had finally found a lead to the hiding place in London, but once again they had been dogged with bad luck. Although Owen was able to perform elementary movements, he still lacked the necessary dexterity to drive a car, and since Tosh was the only one to drive, they had been forced to stop more often to let her rest and their journey to London had taken longer than necessary.

If only they had been faster, maybe they could have helped their friend. Owen could have gone with Jack instead of Ianto and faced the virus, which he was pretty sure would have been harmless to him. If they had been there, Ianto wouldn’t have died and Jack… Jack wouldn’t have left. The mere presence of Ianto by his side would have changed everything.

Owen's conversation with Jack after he came back from death kept swirling in his head.

“Why did you bring me back? Guilt?”

“No, that's not why.”

“Then why did you? Really.”

“Because I wasn't ready to give up on you. I guess I was hoping for a miracle. And I still am.”

The miracle had happened. Owen had lived and, thanks to Jack’s decision to revive him with the gauntlet, he had been able to bring Tosh back to life.  
Owen looked at Ianto’s peaceful features and reflected that Ianto and he had acted sort of like brothers. Bickering and getting on each other nerves, but always there to save the day when one of them was in trouble.

It was unfair. Ianto didn’t deserve this. Not after all he had already endured. Neither did Jack. Though Owen had openly teased them, he wasn’t blind enough to miss the fact that the two of them were deeply in love.

Owen wasn’t ready to give up. The miracle had happened twice and it was only up to him to make it happen again.

Without thinking, Owen grabbed Ianto’s hand and squeezed it, focusing on the dead weigh in his hand. He didn’t pay attention to Tosh’s squeak, her pleas that he let go of Ianto relegated to the back of his mind as he slowly but steadily poured his energy into his friend.

His vision went blurry, and for a moment he thought he was dying for good. But his discomfort passed and he steadied his grip.

Ianto’s eyes snapped open and he stared at him with disbelief.

“Owen.”

“Yeah, man. The one and only,” said the former doctor with a smirk.

Ianto’s eyes went to Tosh, who was holding onto Owen’s shoulders.

“You’re dead…” Ianto murmured.

Owen’s smile widened, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears while Tosh walked around the stretcher and took his other hand, weeping openly with joy and relief.

“No more than you are, Tea Boy," Owen teased, as he and Tosh helped an unsteady Ianto to his feet. "I suggest we clear off. I’m fed up with morgues.”

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

A tense silence filled the room, and Abby's smile soon faded, as she came to realize Ziva and McGee did not share in her excitement over the revelation of Gibbs and Tony's relationship. Her eyes were going hopefully from one to the other, but their expressions remained doggedly sullen.

"You need something?" Gibbs asked, glaring. 

"We were just checking to see if Tony was all right," McGee said coldly. "But you clearly have it covered." 

"McGee - " Tony began.

"I hope you feel better, Tony. I really do," McGee said bitterly. Without another word, he turned around and left.

Ziva looked down awkwardly. "I...have work to do," she muttered hastily, and soon she, too, was gone.

Tony started to get up, but Gibbs held him back, gently placing a hand on his knee.

"They'll come around," Gibbs said reassuringly. "Just give them some time. Right now, you need to rest."

Tony shook his head. "I can't. Not until we talk to them."

Seeing how upset and anxious Tony appeared, Gibbs sighed. He took Tony by the hand, and the couple stood up together. 

"You talk to McGee. I'll handle Ziva."

Tony nodded, and they made their way to the elevator. 

"I'm...really happy for you guys," Abby said softly to the empty room, as the doors slid closed in front of her friends.

Once upstairs, Tony found McGee in the men's room, washing his hands.

"Aren't you a little old to be hiding in the bathroom?" Tony joked, leaning against the wall. The smells of the men's room, a subtle mix of urine and cheap detergent, were not helping his nausea, and he was looking forward to going back to Abby's lab and laying down for awhile.

McGee looked up into the mirror, glaring at Tony's reflection behind him. "Do I look like I'm hiding?"

Tony closed his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to ignore the bile he could feel building up in his throat. 

"But I am pissed!" McGee blurted out. "I knew you'd do almost anything to win Gibbs' approval. But I never thought you would whore yourself out just to be the favorite."

Tony felt like he had been slapped. "Is that really what you think of me?" he choked out through the hurt he was feeling. He wasn't sure whether he should feel more insulted that McGee had just called him a whore, or that his teammate couldn't even imagine for a second that there was more than sex between he and Gibbs.

"I know I have a reputation,'" Tony said as calmly as he could, not wanting to add fuel to the fire. "I recognize that, but you can't really believe I would do that?"

He stared at McGee in disbelief, but the younger man merely shrugged and looked away.

"I... I don't know. I thought I knew you, but now, I'm not so sure."

Tony's lips twisted in a bitter rictus.  
"You really think that ill of me, after all these years? I thought we were friends."

"We were." 

Tony did his best not to cringe at Tim's use of the past tense. 

"But obviously not enough for you to share important things with me. Like the fact that you are sleeping with the boss. Because you're sleeping together, aren't you?"

"McGee..."

McGee shook his head.

"If we were friends, you would have told me," he concluded

"I wanted to," Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I... just didn't know how."

McGee's expression remained unforgiving as he took a step towards the exit.

"You didn't even tell me you were into guys before, so maybe it's just another one of your pranks. Your last invention to have a good laugh to my expense," McGee guessed.

"For God's sake, McGee, this is not a prank!" Tony exploded, unable to contain himself any longer. "I love Jethro! I love him, and I could lose my job and everything I have worked so hard for over the years because of that! This job is my life! You guys are my family! I would never want to risk losing any of that for a stupid popularity contest, or an even more stupid prank!" Tony took a few shaky deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Looking up at McGee, he could see regret written on the younger man's face at his choice of words.

"Tim," Tony continued, hoping the use of his first name would convince McGee of his sincerity. "Jethro made the first move. And honestly, I was surprised. I never dared to hope that he had any interest in me. But I ...I..."

"You okay, Tony?" McGee asked, watching with concern as his friend doubled over in agony.

Without another word, Tony sprinted to the nearest stall, and proceeded to empty what was left of the contents in his stomach. He stayed by the toilet for a few minutes, just in case he was sick again.

Finally satisfied he was done vomiting, Tony stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Exiting the stall, he found McGee still there, waiting for him.

"Don't tell me Gibbs knocked you up," McGee quipped, in a welcome attempt to lighten the mood.

"Not funny, McGee," Tony grumbled, washing his hands.

"Look, Tony, I'm sorry." McGee handed Tony a piece pf paper towel. "I just assumed - "

"It's okay, Tim. I just don't want this to change things between us," Tony said, drying off his hands and throwing the paper towel in the trash. "And don't worry, it won't change anything at work, I promise."

"You can't promise that," Tim countered with a shake of his head.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Tim, I swear..."

McGee lifted a hand to stop him.

"You may not have noticed, but Gibbs has been a lot more easy-going during recent weeks. From what you just told me, I guess love suits him well."

Tony nodded his understanding. "I love Jethro. I really do. I hope you can accept that." 

"Seeing the way Gibbs is when he's with you, I can tell he really loves you, too," McGee observed. "I'm still getting used to the idea of you guys as a couple. But I'm happy for you. I really am. And I really am sorry about what I said earlier."

"Don't worry about that. I've had worse. Your reaction was understandable. I forgive you." Tony smiled at McGee. He felt so much lighter knowing that his friend accepted his new relationship. 

"So Tony, when -"

Tony's cell rang, cutting McGee off.

"I'm sorry. Just a minute." Tony held up a finger, answering the call. "Hello?...Now?...Maybe I should wait for...okay. Sure. I'll be right down."

Hanging up, Tony looked back up at McGee. "That was Ducky. He is offering to see me now." Tony scratched his arm, looking down in slight embarrassment. "Jethro won't be free for a few minutes, so..."Would you come with me?"

"Sure." McGee threw his arm around Tony in a show of brotherly support. "You're gonna be all right, you know, Tony. It's probably just the flu or something."

Tony nodded, though he wasn't entirely convinced. Still, he felt better knowing he had the support of his friend.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Using his skill of being able to seep in an out of places, undetected, at will, Owen found the trio an abandoned house for them to set up base in until they figured out their next move. It was a vacation home belonging to a wealthy retired couple, and Tosh's research revealed that they wouldn't be returning for another year.

Tosh and Ianto agreed that, since they didn't have all the details of how their resurrections worked, they should avoid contacting their families.  
They could live another day, or another hundred years. So they chose to err on the side of caution, not wishing for their loved ones to have to grieve again.  
For the same reasons, they decided it best not to contact Gwen. Once they had confirmed that she and Rhys were alive, Ianto had informed the others of her pregnancy. As hard as it was for them to leave their friend, they wanted to allow her the chance to make a new life with her family.

Which left them to look for Jack. Their former leader had proven himself to be maddeningly elusive, and Ianto could understand why, after everything that had happened with the 456.

For months, they searched the city, by car and on foot. Ianto even paid a visit to Jack's daughter Alice, but she refused to speak to him, claiming she wanted nothing to do with any friend of her father's.

Tosh also scanned hours of CCTV footage from major cities all around the UK, but still came up empty.

Things felt a mess, and Ianto was quite lonely his second time around in the world. 

Owen and Tosh had been good friends to him, and he was touched that they cared enough to bring him back. They were all he had left in a world that seemed so strange to him now.

But they had each other. Ianto could see that they were truly in love, and making the most of this second chance they had been given. Ianto didn't begrudge them this. He was truly happy for them, even if he did often feel like a third wheel.

But Jack? Where was Jack? It had been nearly six months, and no sign of him. It was understandable that he might want to lay low for awhile, but should it really be so hard to find him? As terrible as things had become for Jack, it's not like he could kill himself, even if he wanted to.

With each passing day, Ianto became more despondent. Though his friends had told him not to give up hope, he felt Jack was a lost cause. He had likely forgotten Ianto by now. Moved on and worked his way through at least a few random fucks. In the span of eternity, Ianto thought, he was nothing to Jack. 

Owen and Tosh grew increasingly worried about Ianto. He had stopped wearing suits, opting instead for plain t-shirts and jeans. His hair was often unruly, and he had stopped shaving, his boyish features now covered in a thick beard. Most days, Ianto just slept, coming out of his room only to eat sparse amounts of food.

There was an emptiness in Ianto's gaze, and Owen was starting to hate himself for bringing him back into a life he was so unhappy in.

"I made a mistake," Owen said one afternoon, sitting down on the couch and watching Tosh as she worked on the computer. "I shouldn't have brought Ianto back."

"He'll be fine," Tosh reassured Owen, swiveling around in her chair to face him. She didn't sound entirely convinced of her own words. "Once we find Jack, Ianto will be good as new!"

"And if we don't?" Owen asked worriedly.

Tosh let out a heavy sigh. "He may need some time, but trust me. He'll adjust. I promise, Owen. Ianto is going to be all right!"

"I don't think he will." Owen shook his head. "Not without Jack."

Standing up, Owen made his way up the stairs to see Ianto.

The bedroom door was open, Ianto's back to Owen. For a minute, Owen debated if he should wake his friend. God knows he had slept enough lately! But Ianto's emotional state was very fragile at the moment, and Owen had never been good at dealing with feelings.

"What do you want, Owen?"

Ianto's voice startled Owen, and he straightened up to see the Welshman now sitting up on the edge of the bed looking at him.

"Just worried about you, mate," Owen said with a kind smile. "Mind if I come in?"

Ianto pat the bed, an invitation for Owen to sit beside him.

Sitting down, Owen observed that Ianto was looking thinner. His eyes sadder. He looked barely a shell of a man. 

"I'm so sorry I did this to you, Ianto," Owen whispered.

Ianto looked at Owen, his eyes communicating a strange mixture of sadness and gratitude.  
"I'm not upset with you, Owen. I'm touched that you did this for me."  
Scratching his head, Ianto laughed awkwardly. "I guess you like me after all."

"Silly Tea Boy! I've always like you!" Owen said, punching Ianto in the arm playfully.

A smile was visible through Ianto's beard, but his eyes remained joyless. 

"Maybe it's for the best that we don't find Jack. He can start a new life. A better life. Away from Torchwood..." Ianto looked down at his hands sadly. "And away from me."

"Are you kidding? Do you really trust Jack to stay out of trouble?" Owen joked.

The joke elicited a small chuckle from Ianto. A welcome sound. Music to Owen's ears.  
"Owen, do you think -" Ianto began, before he was interrupted by Tosh's voice calling to them from downstairs.

"Owen! Ianto! Come quick! I've got something!"

Ianto, suddenly very lively, shot up from the bed, and he and Owen bounded down the stairs to meet Tosh at the computer.

"What is it? Did you find Jack?" Ianto asked excitedly.

Tosh gave an amused smile, happy to see Ianto's spark restored.  
"Not yet," she answered. But I'm getting a signal from his Vortex Manipulator. I think we should be able to send him a message!"

Ianto let out a sound that was a mix of a joyous sob and a relieved sigh, his eyes gleaming with tears.

"What did I tell you, Tea Boy?" Owen grinned at the Welshman. Looking back at Tosh, he gave her a kiss straight on the mouth. "You're a genius, you are!"

Tosh gave an embarrassed smile, nodding with gratitude.  
"Ianto, would you like to do the honors?" she asked him.

"I...ahh..." Ianto was at a loss. After all this time waiting, he wasn't sure what he wanted to say to Jack.

"No worries, Ianto. I got it!" Owen said cheerily.

Tosh stood up, and Owen took her place at the computer and began typing.

“You told me you were hoping for a miracle. The miracle happened. We are waiting for you.”

Owen sent the message, and he and Tosh looked back, slightly amused, but very happy for Ianto.  
He was standing there in tears, his face lit up like a child on Christmas morning. Tosh and Owen could only hope that Jack received their message, because it was truly heart warming and life affirming to see Ianto like this.

※

Ianto and Tosh were sitting in the kitchen eating Indian take out. Owen kept them company, missing the fragrant spices and flavors he had so enjoyed in life. 

Tosh and Owen were happy to see Ianto eating again, though on this night, his appetite, along with his hopes, seemed diminished.

Hopeful for a reunion with Jack, Ianto was now clean shaven and wearing a suit, looking as smart and handsome as ever. But the gleam in his eyes was starting to fade. It had been two days since Owen sent the message, and still no word from Jack.

"Chin up, Ianto! We don't know how far Jack had to travel. He could be on his way!" Tosh offered, trying to give him some hope.

Ianto nodded, a faint smile on his lips. "I suppose you're right," he allowed, standing up and clearing away his half full plate and Tosh's empty plate.  
"I'll wash the dishes. You two go relax."

Taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves, Ianto shooed the couple away with a smile that betrayed the sadness in his eyes.

Back in the living room, Owen and Tosh were sitting on the couch, trying to distract themselves with some mildless talk show on the television. They thought it best not to act too affectionately towards each other with Ianto present. Not until he was in a better place emotionally. Or until Jack came back. Whichever came first.

"What if Jack's really not coming?" Tosh asked, looking down and picking at her fingernails.

"Then we'll have to find a way to get on without him," Owen sighed.

"And Ianto?"

Owen shrugged sadly. "Then we better hope - "

"Please tell me you're real".

The voice coming from behind them nearly made them jump out of their skin. They turned around as one. There in front of them stood Jack, eyes gleaming with tears, lips quivering into a smile. 

Jumping on their feet, they rushed towards Jack and the three of them locked in a tearful embrace. 

"Tosh! You're alive!" Jack sobbed in disbelief. "And Owen, you're...?"

"A semi-solid ghost?" Owen offered jokingly.

"But how...?" Jack wondered, happy, but bewildered. "Oh, you can tell me later. I'm just glad you're here! I thought I'd never see you again."

"I thought that too."

Jack turned to see Ianto standing a few feet away, looking much as he had in the days before his death. 

There was silence for a moment before both men erupted into tears, Jack running into Ianto's arms. They began kissing with a passion and intensity unmatched in Jack's long lifetime.

Breaking free from the kiss, Jack stood back, holding Ianto's face in his hands and examining his features.  
"I...I love you, Ianto Jones! I'm so glad I have the chance to tell you now!"

"I love you too, Jack," Ianto whispered. "Oh, I've missed you!"

Hand in hand, they rejoined Tosh and and Owen, and the group settled in for a long night of catching up. 

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Coffee in hand, Gibbs approached Ziva's desk, observing the complexity of emotion on her face. Like him, Ziva wasn't the kind of person to wear her heart on her sleeve, and he wasn't sure how to handle her. Opting for the direct approach, he stopped in front of her desk.

"We need to talk."

"Don't see anything more to say. What I just saw was eloquent enough, " Ziva replied without looking up from her work. A twinge of irritation was present in her voice.

"Come on," Gibbs tilted his head towards the elevator and walked away. 

Rolling her eyes, Ziva stood up, following him.

"What?!" she asked hostily, entering the elevator and immediately crossing her arms in a defensive posture."If you intend to lecture me, you're wasting your time. I won't talk to anybody about your new relationship with Tony."

Her tone sounded slightly disparaging and he didn't like that.

Once Gibbs had stopped the cage, he went to stand toe to toe with Ziva.

" What's upsetting you so much? The fact that Tony and I have a relationship or the fact that we're men?"

"Oh, please, Gibbs," exclaimed Ziva indignantly. "I'm not a sactimonious bigot. I have no problem with that."

"But it upsets you anyway."

Ziva raised a dubious eyebrow.  
"You really want me to talk about my feelings?" she snorted.

Gibbs chuckled. "Nope. Not me. But Tony was pretty upset. I think it would mean a lot to him if we had your blessing."

Ziva hesitated for a second, then let out a heavy sigh, all trace of anger having deserted her features, replaced by a veil of sadness.

"Well, the issue is maybe that I just found out that my partner and immediate superior is sleeping with my team leader behind my back?"

Ziva sighed, folding her hands together and clutching them to her chest, searching for the right words. "I want to be happy for you. It's just...the two of you...you do not do so well with relationships. And this team has come to mean a lot to me. You and Tony have come to mean a lot to me! What happens when one of you ends up getting hurt? Or when you finally decide to follow the next redhead passing by? Or that you can't stand another movie reference? What happens to the team? What happens to me?" 

Gibbs put a reassuring hand on Ziva's shoulder.

"Don't you think I considered those things? I didn't act on a mindless impulse, and neither did Tony. I took into account his past and my own. I'm not so selfish that I would enter into a relationship with Tony if I thought there was any chance of him being hurt. And I trust Tony enough to know that he won't hurt me, either."

"But what if you are wrong?" Ziva asked, her voice barely audible.

"I had to take that chance, Ziva. But I want you to remember that, whatever happens between Tony and me, that won't change how either of us feels about you."

His cell suddenly vibrated, cutting him off. Extending his arm, he squinted to read the short message coming from Tony and Ziva couldn't help reading over his shoulder.

Ziva gave a faint smile. "You should check on him."

"Yep." Gibbs nodded. "I'm heading down to autopsy now. Ducky is giving him an exam. You wanna come? Offer your support?"

"No," Ziva laughed awkwardly. "I think that having too many people there would make him uncomfortable."

Gibbs considered her words for a moment. "Yeah. You're probably right," he agreed. 

Gibbs turned the elevator back on, and the doors opened.

"Gibbs. You and Tony have my blessing," Ziva said as she got out. "Take care of each other." 

The two exchanged smiles as the elevator closed. Gibbs took a breath, readying himself to be the strong one, and show support to his sick lover.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Jack awoke from the best sleep he could remember having in ages, feelings of happiness and contentment warming his heart. This past year since Gray's tragic return, his life had felt a living hell. He had lost everything and everyone he cared about. Guilt over Steven and Ianto's deaths had been eating him up alive and, if suicide had been an option, he certainly would have considered it.

But now, lying in this warm bed, with Ianto nestled into his chest, Jack was covinced; this must be what heaven is.

The previous night had been filled with hugs, tears, and love for the reunited team, and they stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, updating each other on everything that had happened since they were last together. Owen explained all that he had come to understand about his current state, and how he was able to use it to resurrect Tosh and Ianto. And, notably, he thanked Jack for bringing him back from the dead. The issue had been such a point of contention between them, but now everyone realized that Jack's choice was the reason they were all gathered together. The reason they had been given this second chance. Nevertheless, and even though Jack was more than grateful to have Ianto and Tosh back in his life, he had been adamant that Owen should not use his ability of resurrecting people once again. From what he had heard, the last time with Ianto had been a close call and he didn't want to tempt fate again.

The most difficult memory for Jack to recount was what had happened with Steven. The pain of his decision was still fresh and raw in his heart, and he was sure the others would never understand or forgive him for sacrificing his own grandson.

But, surprisingly, this revelation was met with tears, hugs and understanding. Particularly from Ianto, who had been there for much of incident with the 456. 

"That must have been an incredibly painful decision for you to make, Jack," Ianto had said. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there to support you."

Jack had to laugh bitterly at those words. Ianto was sorry? Sorry for what? Dying? Having his heart manipulated and toyed with? Being deceived and made to suffer? Ianto had nothing to apologize for. Not to Jack.

Jack, however, felt he had much to apologize for. To all of them. How could he make it up to them this second time around?

"Jack?"

Ianto's voice pulled Jack back into the moment, and he looked down his chest to see the younger man smiling up at him.

"Hey you," Jack whispered with a smile, pressing Ianto's head to his body and breathing in the scent of his hair. Oh, how he'd missed that smell!

"I sleep so much better with you here," Ianto commented, creeping up to plant a kiss on Jack's lips before settling down beside him and resting in the crook of his arm.

"Me too." Jack gazed contentedly into Ianto's eyes. "But tonight, I'm hoping we can do more than just sleep," he added with a wink.

"Yes," Ianto laughed nervously. "Hmm... it has been a long time since... you know. So, whatever you may have in mind, I feel a trip to the pharmacy is in order."

"It will be like the first time all over again," Jack chuckled.

"Jack?" Ianto stared at him tentatively. "After I died, did you...? Were you with anyone else?"

"No," Jack answered honestly and without hesitation. "I never got over you. I don't think I ever could."

Ianto smiled at Jack tearfully, relief present in his eyes, and the two men lay silent for a few minutes, comfortable in the security of each other's arms.

A smell wafted through the air, and Jack closed his eyes, smiling as he sniffed.

"Bacon..." he said, in almost orgasmic tones. Opening his eyes, he saw Ianto barely able to contain the amusement in his face.

"Really?" The Welshman commented. "Bacon? That's what does it for you?"

Jack suddenly turned red with embarrassment, a look that Ianto found oddly endearing and adorable.

"It's been a long time since I've had a decent meal!" Jack explained, before raising his eyebrow seductively at Ianto. "But if I could convince you to wear bacon underwear for me..."

"You're a freak, sir," Ianto laughed, getting out of bed and allowing Jack a lingering look at his backside. "Come on, then. Let's make ourselves decent. Tosh can't eat all that food on her own. And I'm certain there will be complaints if I don't make coffee!"

※

Jack, Ianto and Tosh were enjoying a breakfast of bacon, eggs, fresh fruit and hot coffee with cream, while Owen kept them company. Now that the heavy emotions of the previous night were out of the way, they turned their attention towards the future.

"How have you managed all this time?" Jack asked, hungrily shoveling a forkful of fluffy eggs into his mouth.

"We're simply borrowing this house," Owen explained. "It's a vacation home. The couple who owns it won't be returning for awhile.

"As for money, I've been able to steal here and there from various government funds," Tosh continued. "Things are still in a bit of a shambles after ther 456, so no one has noticed."

"After the way they treated us, I wouldn't call it stealing," Jack quipped. "I'd rather say it's... compensation for eviction."

So, what now? We can't go on like this forever," Ianto remarked, voicing what everyone was thinking. "Now that the Rift had been sealed by the explosion of the Hub, I doubt we can set up Torchwood the way it used to be."

They all nodded approvingly.

"Moreover, we still have pretty dangerous enemies around here. Don't think it would be safe to act in plain sight," added Owen. "Not that I have to fear to taking a bullet in the back, but not everyone is as lucky as Jack and me."

Taking a sip of coffee, Tosh looked around expectantly at her friends. "Okay, but what do we do now? I've been with Torchwood for so long, I wouldn't know what else to do with myself. What? Am I just going to get a normal job in tech support? I'd go mad!"

Everyone nodded in mutual agreement. Torchwood had made them see wonderful and terrible things. It's had broadened their horizons to such a point, that coming back to a "normal" life was nearly impossible. Things had changed.

"I agree with Tosh. Torchwood has become my life. I can't go back to anything else," Ianto said thoughtfully.

"Hey! I'm immortal. I couldn't do normal if I wanted to," Jack chimed in.

"Well, I'm dead. I don't need the money. I just wanna be wherever you lot are," Owen joked. "Who else could accept my freaky circumstances?"

Tosh leaned into Owen affectionately. "Well, I wouldn't dream of going anywhere without you!"

Jack and Ianto exchanged a glance, holding hands under the table.

"All right then," Jack said after a moment, breaking the sweet silence and taking a final swig of coffee. "I don't see why we shouldn't keep doing what we do the best. After all, Torchwood existed long before the Rift and, as far as I know, alien activities won't stop just because it's sealed."

"What do you have in mind, Jack?" Ianto asked.

"Well, first, we need to get a regular source of financing," Jack answered, the wheels in his head visibly turning.

"You mean like a sponsor?" Tosh asked, poking a piece of melon with her fork.

Jack's face lit up at the idea.  
"Yeah, sort of."

"And I guess you already have an idea of who will be that sponsor," Owen guessed, smirking.

"I do." Jack looked at them in turn, then a wide grin spread on his lips. "Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II."

"The Queen!" Ianto, Tosh and Owen gasped in unison,  
staring at Jack with wide eyes.

"What makes you think that she'll be willing to do that?" Owen asked skeptically.

"Well, firstly I've know her for a long time and she owes me," Jack replied confidently.

Owen rolled his eyes. "Please don't tell me you slept with her too."

"No, she was already engaged to Prince Philip when we first met and trust me, she was a stickler for fidelity. Her sister, on the other hand..." Jack's expression became dreamy, and Ianto couldn't help nudging him in the ribs.

Steadying himself, Jack carried on.

"Well, that is a story for another time. What matters is that I doubt she was very thrilled to see the institution funded by her great grandmother put down by a bunch of corrupt politicians. Moreover, aside from being the Queen, she's also a grandmother and I heard from the horse's mouth that she really didn't approve the way the case of the 456 was handled." 

"Okay, so we've got a possible financing," stated Owen. "That's great, but that doesn't change the fact that as long as we stay in the United Kingdom, we are in danger. UNIT doesn't care about us, Army wants us dead, and half of the MI5 use Jack's picture to play darts." 

"You're right. I'm not exactly feeling welcome here lately, " said Jack sadly. He raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Any suggestions?"

Tosh stood up in turn and went to the workstation she had set up in one corner of the living room. She retrieved a folder from a pile of paperwork and handed it to Jack with a knowing smile.

"And this is?" Jack asked.

"Well, while we were looking for you, I had plenty of time to think about our future. You know... Just in case we didn't find you. So I contacted an old friend, Abby Sciuto. We met when we were students, and I can assure you that she's brilliant!"

"As brilliant as you? Maybe I hired the wrong genius," Jack teased her, while leafing through the contents in the folder.

"Almost as brilliant as me," Tosh scolded him. "Anyway, she's very smart and also extremely broadminded. I told her I was working on a special project and after some research, she sent me this."

Jack pursed his lips. "Very impressive."

"What is it?" Ianto asked, glancing over Jack's shoulder to have a better view.

"A very complete survey report showing an abnormal amount of unexplained phenomenons within the area of Washington DC," Jack answered, handing Ianto the folder.

"Washington?" Owen repeated. "You want us to play Ghostbusters in America?" 

"What do you say, Jack?" Ianto asked, refilling everyone's coffees. "Maybe it's time for Captain Jack Harkness to go back to his homeland?"

"Sure. Why not?" Jack shrugged. "For once, my accent will fit with the locals." He turned back to Tosh.

"That friend of yours, Abby. She's reliable?"

Tosh nodded solemnly.  
"If she hadn't been so attached to her actual job with NCIS, I'd have suggest you to hire her."

Jack took a deep breath and scratched the back of his neck. "Does she know about us?"

"Only that I used to work for an organization dealing with paranormal activities," Tosh explained. "She already said she is willing to help us if needed."

Jack took a few seconds to weigh his options.  
"If it's okay with Owen and Ianto, you can contact her."

"Fantastic!" Tosh exclaimed. You'll see, Jack. You'll love her! She's... unique. I'll be in touch with her and see if she can help us get settled."

"Do it!" Jack nodded.

They were taking a huge risk by trusting Tosh's friend, but something inside told Jack it was worth trying.

Suddenly, Jack didn't feel old and battered anymore. He felt excited and rejuvenated, looking forward to making a new life with his old team.

His gaze became distant as he tried to picture their new life on the other side of the Atlantic.

Misinterpreting Jack's pensiveness, Ianto came closer.

"So..." Ianto whispered into Jack's ear. "Princess Margaret."

Jack let out a bark of laugh.  
"What can I say? Swinging London, the sexual liberation, short skirts..." He let out an exaggerated sigh. "I'm only a man."

"Yes," agreed Ianto, cupping his cheek, "But from now on, you're my man, Captain."

Copying Ianto's gesture, Jack's returned his gaze.  
"I am," he said warmly, planting a kiss on Ianto's soft lips. "I'm all yours!"

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Abby entered autopsy and found Ducky pouring over some papers on his desk, a look of consternation on his face.

"You wanted to see me?" Abby asked, attempting to read over Ducky's shoulder.

"Ah, yes." Ducky stood up, clutching the papers to his chest. "There is something I need to show you. But first, I must ask your forgiveness."

Abby narrowed her eyes. "For what?" 

"Well, as you know, poor Anthony has not been feeling well lately. It seems he is getting sicker by the day. So, at Jethro's insistence, I took some blood samples from him. I wanted to ensure that he was checked for every possible ailment, so I sent them off for testing anonymously."

"But Ducky! I could have tested the samples!" Abby's black lips curled into a frown.

"Well, yes. And now, I wish you had. There is a glaring error in these results. Either the person who ran the tests has no idea how to do their job, or Tony's sample got mixed up with someone else'. "  
Ducky handed Abby the papers he was holding. "See for yourself."

Abby looked over the test results, eyes widening in surprise as she got to the part in question.

"Whoa!"

"You see? The results are clearly faulty. Tony should be down here shortly. I am going to take another sample. And this time, I'll entrust you with the results." Ducky pinched Abby's cheek affectionately.

Abby pouted for a second. "I think I can forgive you. But just for this time." Her usual bright smile blossomed on her lips. "Happy to help, Duck man!"

"Help with what?"

Tony entered autopsy, leaning onto Gibbs for support as they walked towards Ducky and Abby. His skin was pale, with a sickly hint of green, and there were dark bags under his eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Tony," Ducky apologized, watching Gibbs and Abby help Tony up onto a table. "But I'm afraid I'm going to have to take some more blood from you."

Tony's eyes widened in fear. "Did you know about this?" he asked, turning to Gibbs. "You know I hate needles."

"I do."Gibbs cupped Tony's face tenderly. "But the lab made a mistake. And I want to make sure we get to the bottom of why you're so sick."

"What kind of mistake?" Tony asked, as Ducky tied the elastic band around his arm.

Abby giggled. "Congratulations, Tony! You're pregnant"

"Sorry to burst your little bubble, but that's impossible," Tony laughed uncomfortably. "You know, not the right plumbing down there."

Abby pulled a disappointed face.  
"Too bad. Imagine a little Tibbs baby toddling in the bullpen. It would be so cute."

Gibbs' brows shot up. "Tibbs?"

Tony shook his head with amusement. "I guess that's our couple name now."

Gibbs simply rolled his eyes and laughed.  
"So the results tell that Tony is pregnant?" he asked.

"Yes. The samples were anonymous, so they ran all the available tests, including pregnancy," Abby explained.

"Which is why I will be giving this sample to Abby", Ducky said, wiping an alcohol swab on Tony's arm.

"Because I don't make mistakes!" Abby informed them confidently.

"We know!" the men all laughed.

"All right, Tony. Prepare yourself," Ducky warned, holding up the needle. 

Tony looked at Gibbs like a frightened child, and the older man gave his free hand a reassuring squeeze.  
Wincing as the needle entered his arm, Tony closed his eyes. 

"You're gonna be okay, Tony." Gibbs pressed his forehead to Tony's lovingly. "We'll figure this out together."

※

Later that day, Abby came bounding up to Tony's desk.

"Pee in this!" she ordered, handing him a urine sample cup. "I wanna see you and your pee in my lab ASAP!"

"Is something wrong?" Tony asked, staring at the cup. "Does this have to do with my blood test?"

"Well, I don't think anything is wrong," Abby answered. "But you might think it is. Personally, I think it's pretty cool, and -"

"Abby..." Tony glared at her impatiently.

"Just give me your pee, mister!" With that, Abby bounced away.

"Might as well get this over with," Tony sighed, standing up and walking towards the men's room.

Gibbs rushed alongside to offer support, just in case. The last thing Tony needed right now was to risk dropping the cup and finding himself covered with pee.

"What do you suppose that was about?" Ziva asked once the couple had left.

"I'm not sure," McGee answered. "I'm worried about Tony, but if anything was seriously wrong, I don't think Abby would be so happy."

"I agree," Ziva nodded. "But I am curious."

"So am I." McGee grinned mischievously. "Video feed into Abby's lab?"

"Yes!" Ziva agreed enthusiastically.

※

Minutes later, Tony and Gibbs entered the lab. 

"Are you gonna tell me what you need my pee for?" Tony asked, handing Abby the cup.

Setting the cup down and screwing off the lid, Abby then took a pregnancy test and dipped it into Tony's urine.

"The sample you gave me came also came back positive for the pregnancy hormone HCG. It seemed weird to me, you being a man and all. That's why I got this pregnancy test. If this comes back positive, we should know for sure."

"This is ridiculous," Tony laughed uncomfortably.

Abby raised her hand to silence him. "Save your skepticism!" Holding up the pregnancy test for examination, Abby's eyes widened in excitement, and she ran over to hug Tony.

"It's true!" Abby squealed, holding up the test to show them. "Tony, you're pregnant!"

The lab went silent for a moment, Gibbs and Abby staring at Tony. 

Tony's eyes widened, and he leaned into Gibbs for support. Breathing appeared to be a struggle for him. It seemed he was having a panic attack.

"He needs to sit down," Gibbs said urgently.

Abby nodded, leading Tony to her desk. 

Gibbs eased Tony down to sit, observing that he looked paler and weaker than before.

"Breathe," Gibbs reminded Tony, breathing steadily and encouraging Tony to follow his example. 

Once Tony was breathing normally, Gibbs shot Abby a piercing glare.  
"I think you've taken this joke far enough," he admonished her. "Tony is very sick, and he's scared. Heck, I'm scared! This is not the time for games!"

"But it's not a joke!" Abby insisted, hurt by the insinuation. "If it was, why would Ducky be in on it? Why would he make Tony get his blood drawn twice? We all know Tony is scared of needles!  
We love Tony, and we're worried about him, too. But two blood tests and a positive pregnancy test? I don't know how, but Tony is pregnant!"

"But... I can't. I'm a man!" Tony said, eyes wide with disbelief and fear. "I am a man, right? I haven't grown any extra holes down there, have I?" Tony asked, turning to Gibbs.

"Not that I've noticed," Gibbs confirmed with a cocky smile, attempting to inject some humor into the situation.

"But...how did this happen? I don't understand." Tony felt very dizzy. "I'm gonna be sick," he groaned miserably. 

Abby handed Tony a wastebasket, and he promptly threw up into it.  
Gibbs, noticing Tony shaking, eased him onto the floor, scooping him into his arms to steady him.

"Call Ducky!" he urged Abby, who immediately rushed towards the autopsy. "And tell McGee and Ziva to get down here and make themselves useful, instead of wasting their time spying on us!"

Tightening his hold on his shaky lover, Gibbs glared at the camera hanging above Abby's desk, before returning his attention to Tony and planting a soft kiss on the top of his head.

"It's going to be all right. I promise," Gibbs said softly, not knowing whether he was trying to convince Tony or himself.

 

※

In the bullpen, McGee, abruptly closed his gaping mouth with a strangled gasp.

His eyes slowly lowered to his feet and he took a step backward as he suddenly realized that he had dropped his cup on the floor, spilling coffee all over his pants and shoes.

He turned towards Ziva, who looked as stunned as him.

"You heard what I heard?"

"Well, if you just heard Abby claiming that Tony and Gibbs are expecting a baby, I guess I did," Ziva confirmed, eyes wide with shock.

Ziva grabbed McGee by his sleeve and dragged him towards the elevator.

"Hurry up, McGee. Gibbs is already upset enough . No need to poke a bear with a sore leg."

"It's the head, not the leg," McGee pointed out absently, as the doors slid open before them.

Ziva sent him a deathly glare as they stepped into the cage.  
"Do you really think it's the right time to get into semantics? Right now?"

McGee lowered his gaze sheepishly and sighed. "Maybe not."


	4. Impossible Realities

"Does everyone have to be here?" Tony asked uncomfortably, giving Gibbs a pleading look.

Gibbs squeezed Tony's hand. "Ordinarily, I'd say no," he answered. "But there's nothing ordinary about what's happening to you. So if this is actually what it seems to be, then we'll need all hands on deck."

Tony felt he was in some bizarre nightmare as he lay on a table in autopsy. Gibbs was holding his hand, while Abby, McGee, Ziva and Jimmy stood around, watching in curiosity, as Ducky ran the doppler over his stomach.

It was a simple, no frills portable ultrasound machine that really looked more like a laptop to Tony's eyes. The images it produced were crude, but they were enough to confirm the pregnancy. The faint sound of a heartbeat seemed amplified in Tony's shock and disbelief, like an intruder knocking within his body's walls.

"Well, this is fascinating!" Ducky exclaimed, looking at the image on the screen. "From what I can see, your body chemistry has been altered drastically! You are indeed growing a baby inside your uterus!"

Tony's eyes widened, and he shook is head frantically. "I'm a man...I'm not supposed to have a uterus. I shouldn't be pregnant!"

"Well, I don't know what to tell you," Ducky said apologetically. "But this pregnancy is very real and I can clearly see a uterus attached to your rectum!"

McGee's eyes were so wide that they seemed about to fall from their sockets. Jimmy looked paler than some of the residents in the morgue, and likely to faint at any moment . As for Ziva, her jaw was clenched so tight, it was a miracle she didn't break a tooth.

Abby seemed to be the only one who was excited by Ducky's announcement.

"Aww!" she cooed. "It's definitely hinky, but... Wow! You're gonna have a little Tibbs baby!"

Tony glared at her.

"Wait until you grow a three-piece service, then tell me how fascinating you find it!" he snapped.

Abby pursed her lips.

"Well, actually, I've always wondered how -"

"Abby..." Gibbs warned her, his tone for once devoid of his usual kindness.

"Get it out," Tony pleaded, looking at Ducky. "Please get this thing out of me..."

Ducky's eyes didn't miss the look of profound sadness on Gibbs' face at Tony's words, but he refrained from reacting.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't even if I wanted to," he informed Tony as he wiped the gel off of his belly. "I don't have the proper equipment here. And I doubt a traditional hospital would know how to handle a case as disconcerting as yours."

Tony looked frightened by this news and began hyperventilating. He was clearly having another panic attack.

"Shh...Tony. It's gonna be okay," Gibbs whispered, instinctively massaging soothing circles on Tony's tummy. "Breathe with me, Tony...breathe..."

After a few minutes, Tony's breathing returned to normal and he slowly began to calm down, his eyes fixed on Gibbs.

"I'm scared," Tony whispered, his voice a choked sob. "How could this happen? What am I gonna do?"

"We are gonna get through this together," Gibbs promised, pulling Tony's shirt down to allow him some modesty.

"How?" Tony asked, slowly sitting up. "You heard Ducky. It's not like there are any doctors around that know how to treat a pregnant man."

"You might be wrong about that," Abby suddenly chimed in.

All eyes turned to the goth forensic scientist, and Tony felt relieved to not be the center of attention, if only for a minute.

"Abby, please," Gibbs sighed. "This is not the time for antics."

Abby pulled a face, clearly offended by Gibbs' assumption.

"I'm serious. I have a friend who used to work for a very high ranking organization. Well, it's a bit hard to explain, but she is used to handling very sensitive material, and the people she works with have had some pretty freaky cases!" Abby explained.

"Are you saying I'm a freak?" Tony asked. He had been feeling abnormally insecure recently, and the surprise pregnancy wasn't helping.

Abby ran up and gave her friend a hug.

"No! Tony! That's not what I'm saying at all! I'm just saying that, compared to the other things they've seen, male pregnancy is almost normal! I really think I should get you in touch with them, Tony! If anyone can help you, they can!"

Tony placed his hands over his stomach, scowling disdainfully at the thought of the life that had taken up residence in his body.

"What do you think?" he asked, looking up at Gibbs.

"It's your call," Gibbs said supportively. "But, I have to admit that I'm at a loss. The way I see it, you don't have a lot of options."

After a moment of thought, Tony sighed heavily.

"All right. Go ahead and call your friend."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Tony was trying to rest on the cot in Abby's lab. The cot was sometimes a necessity for Abby, given her late hours, and at the moment, Tony was glad he could make use of it while Abby was making her call to those friends of hers who were supposed to be able to help him.

Tony needed to rest in his sick and weakened state. But his need for rest also provided a welcome excuse to avoid having to talk to anyone. He was still trying to process Ducky's extraordinary announcement. How could he even be pregnant? It felt like a cruel prank that everyone was playing at his expense. But he had seen it up there on the ultrasound. There was no denying the truth, but he couldn't even find a rational explanation for such an aberration. He had had enough X-rays throughout his career to know that if there had ever been something abnormal about his internal plumbing, it wouldn't have escaped the plethora of doctors he had dealt with. This whole thing was terrifying in itself.

Now, Tony mostly felt scared and alone. Who knew what this pregnancy would do to him? Was it even safe for him to be pregnant? Because, as far as he knew, men's bodies weren't designed to carry children. Moreover, considering there was no available care or support for male pregnancy, how could he safely have a baby? Did he even want to have this baby? As a man, he had never contemplated this kind of possibility.

But was he even really a man anymore? Suddenly, he had a uterus, which now had a baby growing inside of it. So what did that make Tony? Not male. Not female. Just some weird, sexless thing!

As supportive and understanding as Jethro was, and as kind as his friends had been so far, Tony couldn't help feeling he was all alone in this frightening, unfamiliar situation. It was all so overwhelming, that he could only cry, and he hated himself for that. He hated to feel weak and frightened. Goddammit, he was a federal agent! He had beaten nothing less than the plague! He should handle this better.

"Special Agent DiNozzo," a soft voice with a Welsh accent called to him.

Tony sniffled and wiped his eyes before turning over to see a handsome dark haired man in a suit smiling kindly at him.

"Oh man! This is embarrassing!" Tony sat up, scratching his head. "I -"

"No need to feel embarrassed. Your reaction is understandable, given your situation." The man held out his hand, helping Tony to his feet.

"Thanks, Mister..." Tony looked for his "visitor" badge, but there was none hanging to the lapel of the man's well tailored jacket, which was unusual. But then, what wasn't these days?

"Jones. Ianto Jones, " the man introduced himself with a slight bow, and something in his attitude reminded Tony of Ducky's distinguished demeanor.

If he hadn't felt so bad, Tony would have smiled at the obvious reference to the James Bond movies. But right now he was too scared and tired to enjoy the uncanny resemblance between the mysterious Ianto Jones and the famous secret agent.

"You Abby's friend?"

Ianto shook his head. "No. Not yet anyway. In fact, I only just met her," Ianto answered. "She's friends with Toshiko. But she did help us get established here in America, and for that, we owe her."

"I don't want to be rude, but who are you people exactly?" Tony asked.

"That's a long story," Ianto said with a soft laugh. "Just know that you can trust us. I can assure you that we're here to help."

Tony shrugged. "Not like I have much of a choice."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"I gotta tell ya, you're not doing great job earning my trust so far," Gibbs told Ianto, as he, Tony and Ducky sat blindfolded in the back of a black SUV, very similar to what Torchwood had in Cardiff. Abby sat up front with Ianto.

Ziva, McGee and Jimmy had been ordered to stay at NCIS headquarters and be ready to set off the next World War if they weren't contacted within two hours. They hadn't been too happy to be left behind, but Ianto had been adamant, and they had had no other choice than to submit.

"Please don't take it personally," Ianto said apologetically, his eyes locked on the road and the heavy traffic of the early evening. "In our field of expertise, secrecy is the key and moreover, we can't afford to let certain people know our location. We don't foresee any problems. It has nothing to do with you, but caution is parent of safety. In case anything goes wrong, we don't want to have to give Tony Retcon considering in his condition. Hence the blindfolds. Consider it as the lesser of two evils."

"'Retcon'? What the hell is 'Retcon'?" Gibbs asked with a frown.

"Simply put, it's an amnesia pill," Ianto answered, glancing into the rear view mirror.

"Oh, that's comforting," Gibbs snorted sarcastically.

"Don't worry, guys," Abby tried to reassure them. "Tosh said - " Abby stopped talking, as the car hit a huge pothole and she heard Tony whimpering softly.

"It's okay,Tony," she said soothingly, turning around and taking hold of his hand. "If I trust these guys, you can too."

"Is this really necessary?" Ducky asked. "Tony only just found out he's pregnant. He's already scared and confused, and you blindfold him and shove him in the back of the car. Of course he's upset! It's a wonder he hasn't had another panic attack! And if we leave Tony in your care, wouldn't we find out your location anyway?"

Ianto considered what Ducky had said for a minute. It was a risk, but these three hardly seemed a threat. Abby trusted them. And the whimpers of the pregnant man sitting behind him made blindfolding them seem almost cruel.

Ianto sighed. "It does seem rather unreasonable." he agreed. "Fine. You can take off the blindfolds. If Jack has a problem with that, I'll deal with him. "

"Not afraid of a little punishment?" Abby quipped.

Ianto gave her a sideways glance.

"Yeah, I heard about you guys," she said with a mischievous grin.

Ianto simply blushed in confirmation.

"For the record, I'm fine!" Tony insisted, clearly embarrassed, as the three men took off their blindfolds. "The bumps in the road just gave me nausea."

Gibbs put a comforting hand on Tony's knee.

"There's no shame in being afraid sometimes," he said. "You've had a lot to take in today."

Tony smiled, placing his hand on top of Gibbs'. This gentle, tender side of Gibbs, the side so seldom seen by others, was a big part of the reason Tony felt so safe and cared for in their relationship. For the first time in his life, he didn't have to pretend.

Looking back at the couple, Ianto smiled. "Try and trust me, Tony. We want to help you."

"It would be easier to trust you if I knew exactly what you do," Tony told the Welshman.

"There's no way to answer that without it sounding like a lie. It really must be seen to be believed," Ianto laughed. "Jack will explain in further detail later. But, as Abby may have already told you, we mainly monitor alien and paranormal activity, and hunt down and contain threats to the human race. "

"Uh huh..." Gibbs said skeptically. "Are you saying that Tony's pregnancy falls into one of those categories?"

"It might not," Ianto told him. "But it's not exactly something that happens every day now, is it? I believe you'll find we are uniquely qualified to help."

Gibbs looked over at his pregnant lover. Tony was trying not to let on how scared and uncertain he was feeling, but, as usual, Gibbs could see right through him. So, even though Gibbs still had many questions, he decided to keep any further doubts about this strange organization to himself. He knew that, at that time, more than anything, Tony needed to feel secure.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"Do you think they're on to us?" Jimmy asked, squirming in the back seat of McGee's car and already regretting his decision to follow McGee and Ziva when they had decided, in spite of Gibbs' orders, to tail the mysterious black SUV.

"Hard to tell in the dark," McGee answered from the driver's seat, rolling his eyes.

Watching the light change, they waited for the SUV to move. However, it remained in place.

"Come on! What are they doing? Why aren't they moving?" Ziva asked in frustration.

"I don't remember inviting you to the party," a strange voice from the back seat said, startling them.

McGee and Ziva turned their heads to see a handsome man sitting beside Jimmy. He was pointing an old fashioned gun at the head of the young ME assistant, who looked like he might vomit. The man looked to be about Tony's age, with blue eyes, and a sparkling smile that brought out his dimples. Yet despite the undeniable charm he was radiating, there was something dangerous in his eyes that made them uneasy.

"Look, mister," McGee started, trying to keep his nerve. "I don't know who you are, but we're federal agents, and - "

"Oh, I know all about you, Agent McGee," the man said darkly, his grin morphing into a feral smirk.

Ziva, quick to react, pulled her gun out on the man, but he too was quick, and snatched it right out of her hand without blinking an eye, his own gun still firmly directed to Jimmy's head.

"I wouldn't try anything stupid if I were you, Officer David."

In the confusion, the SUV in front of them turned and cars behind them promptly started honking.

"I think you're blocking the traffic, Agent McGee. Gear up," the man ordered, while promptly sticking Ziva's gun into one of the pockets of his long coat.

"No," McGee countered, a lot more calmly than he felt. "I won't go anywhere as long as you're threatening us. "

The man let out a chuckle and shook his head, before looking down at the Webley in his hands.

"Don't worry. I don't intend to use this on Mr. Palmer, or either of you. But I could hardly let Miss Mossad here skewer me with one of her knives before I even get a chance to properly introduce myself to you. It would have been very inconvenient."

McGee raised a dubious eyebrow. "Inconvenient" would certainly not be the term which he would have chosen to describe it.

"And you are...?"

The man slowly lowered his gun. Next to him, Palmer let out an audible sigh of relief.

"Captain Jack Harkness, at your service," he said with a wink, calmly holstering his gun.

"Where are we going?" McGee asked cautiously, hoping to dispel the palpable tension in the car and also to put a stop to the honking outside.

"Where you wanted to go, Agent McGee," Jack said, leaning back into the seat."Into the hole of the White Rabbit." He smiled, more genuinely this time. "I'll show you the way."

As the car slowly pulled over, Jack then looked to be speaking into an earpiece.

"Looks like we have a few extra guests, Tosh. Be prepared to receive them."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

They had driven for about half an hour, until they stopped in front of an old house in a smart suburb. It was difficult to make out details of the place in the dark, but Gibbs estimated it had been built sometime in the 1800s. It was a very spacious home, with large sash windows. More like a mansion, really, and had most likely originally belonged to a well off family.

Everyone was now gathered round a large conference table in the library of the house, all waiting for answers.

They had been herded in so quickly by the handsome stranger who had commandeered McGee's car, that no proper introductions had been made.

Since their arrival, Tony had been uncharacteristically quiet, keeping his eyes to the floor. Gibbs sat next to him, holding his hand, and glaring at Ziva, McGee and Jimmy in turn, furious with them for putting themselves in danger. Ducky was scolding Jimmy for going along with McGee and Ziva. Abby sat talking excitedly to a Japanese woman with an English accent.

Ianto was leaning casually against the frame of a large bookcase with his hands in his pockets. On the other side of a large window, a pale man with a sullen face was occupying another corner of the room, while the last member of the Torchwood team, who seemed to be also its leader, stood near the door, arms crossed.

Suddenly, the man with the long military coat whistled loudly, turning everyone's attention to him.

"All right, everybody! We've been brought together tonight under some unusual circumstances," he began.

" 'Unusual circumstances'...Welcome to Torchwood," Ianto quipped, eliciting a giggle from the Japanese woman.

The stranger simply winked at Ianto, and it was clear there was something between the two of them. This, Tony thought, must be the mysterious Jack.

"First, I think introductions are in order," the man said. "As some of you already know, I'm Captain Jack Harkness. You've already met the dashing Ianto Jones."

Ianto nodded and smiled, waving to the others cordially.

"Seated at the far end of the table is the brilliant Toshiko Sato, our tech analyst, and the lanky fellow in the corner is Doctor Owen Harper. Together, we're Torchwood.

When I said 'unusual circumstances', I meant unusual for you. Because as far as we are concerned, we've seen and done things in our careers that you might find unbelievable - "

"Hey. I'm a pregnant man. At this point, I'll believe anything," Tony interrupted, trying to maintain his sense of humor in this admittedly strange and frightening situation.

Jack laughed. "Yes, Tony. I suppose it's the kind of experience that tends to open up your mind to new realities. And we'll get to those realities later. But right now, Tony, we need to address the issue of your pregnancy."

"Are we even certain that Tony is really pregnant?' Tim asked. "I know we have all seen the images, but is there a chance that it isn't what it looks like?"

After a quick exchange of glances, Owen stepped forward and took the floor.

"All the results Doctor Mallard sent to me corroborate this hypothesis. I double checked all of them and there is no doubt about the reality of this pregnancy, as unlikely as it may seem."

"But how -"

"That a good question, but I don't have the answer yet. I'm running more tests at the moment, so maybe I'll be able to tell you more soon. Right now, I don't have a clue. All I can say is that Tony is indeed pregnant with what looks like a very ordinary six week old embryo."

Jack turned towards Tony and Gibbs.

"I have to say, Tony, that you're doing great for an ordinary man. Don't take it wrong, that's a compliment. Where I come from, male pregnancy is a fairly normal occurrence. In fact, 40% of the Earth's men are able to have children."

"And where is it that you come from? Mars?" Ziva asked in a challenging tone, glaring darts at Jack.

"Actually, the 51st century," Jack answered, ignoring Ziva's hostility.

"You come from the future! Like in H.G. Wells!" Jimmy exclaimed with awe.

"Kinda," Jack confirmed with a shrug, as if it was the most natural thing. "By that time, humankind has evolved to the point that a man can safely carry a child to term. Additionally, they are able to receive prenatal treatment that addresses their unique needs as pregnant men."

His expression became concerned as he looked at each of them in turn.

"Tony doesn't have these luxuries. Pregnancy promises to be a difficult, and most likely dangerous ordeal for him. Should he choose to keep this baby, he is going to need your full support emotionally, and in some cases, physically."

He paused a moment, then carried on.

"While we at Torchwood will do our best to address Tony's unique needs and find out how all of this happened, we will need to work together with you, the people who know him best. We need to operate as a team. And Tony, I want you to carefully consider whether or not you want to keep this baby. Because, while there are risks and hardships ahead in a male pregnancy, there is also no reason why you shouldn't bring this child to term. It's important to keep both sides of the issue in mind. Just remember that it's ultimately your decision.

Once again, Owen stepped in.

"There is no hurry, though. You're still in the early stage of pregnancy, so take as much time as you need. Even if you chose to abort, you'll have to wait for at least a couple of days. From what I saw in your test results, you're slightly anemic and dehydrated, which increases the risk of hemorrhaging during the intervention. "

Tony nodded in understanding. This had to be one of the most difficult choices of his life, and he felt absolutely overwhelmed with emotion.

"Now," Jack continued. "Back to Torchwood. After all, it's only fair that you know what you're getting into. First, to assure you that we're not lying about what we do, I think it's best to show you who we are. The very fact that we're even here with you tonight is testament to the miracles we encounter regularly."

Walking up where Tony was sitting, Jack kneeled down so that he was at eye level with him and held the pregnant man's hands, giving him a calming, reassuring look. Strangely, Tony felt safe around Jack, even though they had only just met. There was something about him that Tony found comforting.

"Tony, you might find what you're about to see upsetting. But please be assured that no one is going to get hurt or killed. No matter what it looks like, I need you to remain calm. It's important in your condition."

"Okay..." Tony said, surprised at how familiar this stranger felt to him.

Standing up, Jack gave Tony's shoulders a gentle squeeze before once again addressing the group. He then pulled out Ziva's gun, which he had yet to return. A weapon they were familiar with. One that they knew was not a toy or a prop.

Putting the gun against his side, Jack pulled the trigger, tumbling backwards with a shout of pain.

Abby clapped her hands over her mouth and squealed. Ducky and Jimmy were already on their feet, rushing to help, while the rest of the NCIS team just sat in wide eyed disbelief. Except for Tony, who was doing his best to remain calm, closing his eyes and trying to take deep breaths. Seeing Tony's struggle, Gibbs took him into his arms protectively and held him close.

The Torchwood team, on the contrary, seemed completely unfazed by what had just happened, with the exception of Ianto who was clearly unhappy.

"Holy shit!" Jack cried out, pressing his hand against his bleeding side. "It hurts like hell!"

"It serves you right," Ianto muttered, as he handed Jack a handkerchief. "You know I hate it, and yet you still can't help making an exhibition of yourself."

"Sorry, but I just tried to be explicit," Jack explained.

"Then find another way the next time," the younger man scolded.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," Ducky intervened. "But don't you think that we should call an ambulance? This wound is very serious, and dare I say life threatening."

Jack smiled reassuringly.

"Don't worry, Doc. Everything is under control."

With that, he lifted his hand holding the handkerchief along with the hem of his bloodied shirt, revealing the unbroken skin of his abdomen. At the same time, the bullet fell on the hardwood floor with a thud.

Everyone visiting from NCIS gasped, stunned by what they had just witnessed.

"You see?" I can't die!" Jack told them, standing up. "Well, I can't stay dead, anyway."

"But...how is that possible?" Jimmy asked in disbelief.

"Interesting story, actually!" Jack said. "Let me explain."

"Yes," Owen said, walking to stand beside Jack. "I think there are several things that require explanation. But for the moment, leave it to the professionals, small-ball." And with that, he vanished into thin air to a new chorus of gasps, only to promptly reappear moments later.

"Jack can't die. And me? Well, I'm still dead!"

"Settle in, kids!" Jack chuckled, still holding his sore side. "You're gonna be here awhile."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Briefing their guests from NCIS on the story of Torchwood, Jack's immortality, Owen's death, and Tosh and Ianto's resurrections had taken until after midnight, so Jack informed them that Ianto would be driving everybody home. He had been in this kind of situation enough times to know that, since they were likely all in shock from what they had learned, it didn't seem safe for them to drive home. Reluctantly, everyone agreed with Jack. The things they had heard, however unbelievable, were also undeniable, and they all needed time and space to wrap their minds around those new developments. Anyway, it was Friday night, and they didn't need their cars for work in the morning. Tomorrow, there would likely be much more to discuss. But right now, they were all too worn out to do anything useful, and Jack offered to pick up anyone who wished to see Tony in the morning. Ducky and Owen had agreed that Tony would be staying back at the house for observation. Of course, Gibbs would also stay with him. No one was crazy enough to try to keep them apart.

A first floor study had been converted into a bedroom for Tony and Gibbs, with various monitors and medical equipment available, should Tony need them.

Owen, satisfied with Ducky's preliminary exam of Tony, decided any further examination could wait until the next day. Though he did tell Tony he would likely be looking him over first thing in the morning.

Since Owen now lacked some of the fine motor skills needed to perform some of the examinations, he asked Ducky and Jimmy to act as his hands in Tony's prenatal care. Ducky accepted the offer without hesitation, happy for the chance to help his friend and dare he say a little thrilled at the idea of taking part in such an extraordinary medical experience. Jimmy was hesitant at first, behaving as if he was weirded out by the idea. However, all it took was piercing glares from Gibbs and Ducky for him to change his mind and forget all his qualms and insecurities.

Much to Tony's displeasure, their first job was to inject an IV into his hand, since he had been unable to keep anything down and had become dehydrated. Being poked in such a tender area proved almost too much for Tony after all he had been through during the last hours. His nerves were rattled, and were it not for Gibbs' calming presence, things would have likely gotten bad for him.

Once Tony and Gibbs were settled in for the night, lying in bed together in this strange new environment, Tony reached out his hand for Gibbs, trying his best not to think about the IV in his other hand.

"What a day, huh?" Tony observed.

"That's an understatement," Gibbs chuckled softly. "How are you doing?"

"Well, scared. Confused. Stunned. Take your pick. This doesn't feel real to me yet," Tony admitted. "I feel like Alice in Wonderland. And these people...They're...interesting. But...I don't know why...I feel like I can trust them." He thought back to the mysterious Captain Jack Harkness, and how kindly he had behaved, though it had only been their first meeting.

"Yeah. They're all right," Gibbs said. And Tony found this confirmation of faith from him comforting. Gibbs was very good at reading people, and had a fine tuned bullshit meter.

"Try and get some sleep," Gibbs gently urged, giving Tony a light kiss.

"I'll try," Tony said, the calm in his voice betraying the worry in his heart. "I love you, Jethro."

"I love you too, Tony. Goodnight."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

As promised, Owen - with Ducky and Jimmy's assistance - examined Tony the following morning. Tony was more than a little displeased when Owen demanded yet another blood sample. But Owen insisted that there were some things a regular medical laboratory would not be able to test for, or even know to look for. So Tony suffered through being pricked yet again.

He also suffered through what he felt to be embarrassing personal questions about his sex life. But, as awkward as that had been, it did provide Owen with some needed information. Tony had been with men in the past, and been on the bottom a good number of those times, but had only now become pregnant. Moreover, none of his previous examinations had shown the existence of a possible uterus.

Therefore, Owen concluded, he must have come in contact with some sort of object or influence that worked with his body, making it hospitable for a growing fetus.

To complete the examination, Tosh ran a device over him and announced that there was no trace of "vortex energy". Tony didn't have a clue what that could be. But it seemed to be good news, since Owen informed him with a smirk that at least he wouldn't end up like John Hurt in "Alien".

After the exam, Tony still found himself exhausted and nauseated. He simply wished to sleep, and didn't want to see or talk to anyone for awhile.

Owen and Ducky agreed that Tony should rest, and so he spent a good deal of the morning in a fitful sleep. Ducky also informed them that he would put Tony on sick leave for the next few days in the guise of a gastroenteritis, in order to give them more time to figure out what was going on.

Throughout the morning, visitors came to look in on him. Most of the time, Tony pretended to be asleep. He didn't feel like discussing the difficult decision he was facing regarding the baby, and he knew that everyone had their own opinions on the matter.

Gibbs came to see him. "He would never pressure me to keep this baby. But it is also his baby... Shouldn't he have a say in this? I can't face him now," Tony thought.

Abby came. "No. She's made her opinion abundantly clear. She doesn't see anything wrong with all this madness. I can't deal with her intensity right now."

Ducky came. "He's too close to Jethro. Of course he wants me to keep the baby."

Surprisingly, when McGee came to see Tony, he actually welcomed the visit. McGee had no fixed opinions on the matter. He was about as objective as they came and seemed almost as awkward as Tony about what was happening. Oddly enough, he was probably the only person Tony felt he could be completely honest with at the moment.

"Tony? You awake?"

"Yeah. Come on in," Tony nearly whispered. He didn't want to risk anyone else hearing him.

McGee sat down at the foot of the bed, looking unsure of what to say.

"Looks like you were right, McPsychic," Tony joked, recalling their conversation in the men's room a few days earlier.

McGee laughed. "Yeah. Who knew I had 'the gift'?"

Tony sat up, wincing as the IV tugged at his hand slightly. "You and Ziva are probably loving this. Picturing me pregnant and emasculated. Waddling around with a huge belly full of baby."

"Not at all," McGee protested. "It might have been funny to imagine it. But the reality is different. I keep thinking about what that Jack guy said last night, and I'm worried about you. Listen, Tony, you have been there for me in the past and I'm not sure that I have ever repaid in kind for what you did for me. I'm fully aware that I should have behaved like a better friend to you, especially when you were in charge of the MCRT. But now, I'm going to be here for you in any way I can. Just let me know what you need. You have my full support. "

Tony blinked, taken aback by the directness of McGee's words. Over the years, the two men had become friends. But there was always that playful, brotherly teasing between them. Tony knew that McGee would always be there when he needed him. But McGee had never come out and said it in so many words before.

Smiling his gratitude to McGee, the look on Tony's face communicated more than words ever could.

"Could you make my decision for me?"Tony half joked. Whether or not he should keep the baby was the only thing occupying his mind at the moment, and he knew the choice would be harder to make with each passing day.

"Sorry. I can't do that," McGee said apologetically. "But I can listen if you want to talk it out."

A chuckle burst out of Tony. "We sound like a couple of women."

"Yeah," McGee laughed. "But right now, this is the best I can do for you."

Clearing his throat and crossing his long legs, Tony looked down into his lap.

"You know what the nice thing about being a man is? You don't have to worry about getting pregnant. Or so I thought. And yet, here I am. I'm mostly just stunned right now. I never thought I'd have to face this kind of decision. And I don't need anyone to tell me what a miracle this baby is, or that it's a second chance for Jethro to be a father -"

"Tony," McGee cut him off. "Breathe."

McGee watched as Tony took a few calming deep breaths.

"That better?" McGee asked, once Tony had appeared to calm down.

Tony just nodded.

"All right. Now, put aside your shock, fear and worry about being pregnant. Try not to think about what you perceive as your lost masculinity. Trust me, pregnant or not, you're still as manly as can be. Don't worry either about what other people think you should do. If this baby had come to you in any other way, would you want it? If you and Gibbs adopted a baby, or had one through a surrogate, would you be happy about it?"

"I don't know," Tony admitted. "Jethro and I haven't been together very long. I hadn't thought that far ahead. "

"Well, now, you're gonna have to," McGee said. "Imagine you've been together a year or two. How would you feel about starting a family with Gibbs?"

Tony pondered McGee's words for a minute before answering.

"I feel safe with Jethro. Protected. He looks after the people he loves, and I couldn't think of a better man to start a family with."

Tony had a far off look in his eyes, and his smile communicated absolute love and adoration.

"So, you want to keep the baby, then?" McGee guessed.

"Still not sure," Tony sighed. "But you've certainly helped me to put things in perspective.

Tony took Tim's hand in his and squeezed it.

"Thank you."

Tim nodded solemnly. "Any time, Tony. Any time."

A relieved smile softened Tony's features. Somehow, his heart felt lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! The NCIS and Torchwood teams come together here! :)
> 
> ~The PeachyMonkey


	5. Bittersweet Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's left kudos and comments. We're so happy you're enjoying this crossover! I have to admit, it's a lot of fun bringing two of my favorite shows together! :) 
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey

"This is so cool!" Abby gushed, carefully examining not only the information on Tosh's computer, but also the assortment of gadgets that her old friend had shown her at the new work station she had set up in a second floor bedroom. Though the team all lived together in the house, with seven bedrooms on the second and third floors, the extra rooms had been turned into "offices" of sorts, leaving the downstairs living areas to truly feel like home.

The large windows provided pleasant lighting even on butty days, and the lighter shades of the walls enhanced the impression of space and comfort. The spacious 19th century house was sold furnished when Abby had found it, and the high tech equipment scattered among the refined furniture seemed somehow out of place. But it also made it look less oppressive and frightening and offered a perfect cover for their secret activities. No one would ever guess what was going on behind the elegant red-brick facade of the manor.

"So, you check for alien activity , and then go hunt them?"

"Not necessarily 'hunt'. Sometimes we hunt and capture them. Sometimes, we simply study them," Tosh clarified. "Jack has an old friend with the police department who keeps us updated on any unusual sightings or attacks. We scan the areas with the highest concentrations of these sightings, and, in the case of attacks, we hunt the alien, and try to remove them as a threat. "

"And, when they're not threats?" Abby asked.

"Sometimes they are just curious visitors. We came across a species recently that took up residence in the woods. Just cute little balls of fur! Perfectly innocent, and very friendly!" Tosh giggled in recollection.

"Aww!" Abby cooed. "So, um...I was thinking...if you guys need any extra help, I might be useful. Part time. You wouldn't even have to pay me." Abby's eyes were hopeful. Her tone tentative.

"I told Jack you might be bringing this up," Tosh laughed. He's the one to ask. But last I checked with him, he said we could use assistance from you - and your friend Agent McGee. On his very strict terms!"

Abby nodded in understanding. "Tim is gonna be psyched!"

"Talk to Jack before you get too excited!" Tosh laughed.

"Got it!" Abby nodded, before quickly changing the subject. So, Tosh..." She eyed her friend with curiosity. "What was it like being dead?"

Tosh smirked with amusement. "I was wondering how long it would take you to ask me about that."

"Well, it's not every day that your friend comes back from the dead!" Abby said excitedly. "Come on! Tell me about the afterlife! What do you remember?"

Tosh became very quiet, a thoughtful look in her eyes, and a faint smile on her lips. "I don't remember much, really. Immediately after my resurrection, it felt like waking up from a pleasant dream. So I'm sure it was nice. Every now and then, I get fleeting feelings. Feelings of warmth, and being loved. It had to be real! And yet..."Tosh's voice trailed off.

"Yeah?" Abby asked, quieter than was usual for her.

"Jack has come back from the dead more times than anyone can count. Yet all he remembers is darkness. Nothingness. He has been very insistent about this truth all along. But these feelings I get...they're so real! How can I be wrong about it?"

"Maybe you're not," Abby offered. "From what I understand, Jack never stays dead for very long. So maybe he just never had enough time to really experience what's on the other side."

"Perhaps," Tosh said thoughtfully. "But I was dead for a year, and I scarcely remember it."

"Would you want to?" Abby asked, lowering her eyes. "Maybe it's better this way. If you remembered what heaven was like, I doubt you'd want to stick around here."

Tosh hugged Abby tightly, a watery smile blossoming on her lips. "Of course I would! I'm here in America! With people I love and a new chance to enjoy life once again. Oh yes, I would!"

Abby smiled, squeezing Tosh a little tighter. Appreciating her friend so much more after having already lost her once.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

It was Sunday morning, and Owen, Ducky and Jimmy had just finished examining Tony. Much to his relief, no further blood samples were needed.

Owen's bedside manners couldn't be more unlike Ducky's. But the two men seemed to have found common ground, and they managed to work together more smoothly than would have been expected.

"Everything looks good!" Owen confirmed. "You may feel like hell, but you're in better shape than when you got here."

Ducky nodded in agreement. "I don't see any reason to keep that IV stuck in Tony's hand, do you?"

Owen shook his head. "Not at all."

Ducky looked to Jimmy. "Mr. Palmer, if you would?"

"Right away, Doctor Mallard," Palmer nodded, gently removing the needle from Tony's hand.

"Good to finally have that damn thing out," Tony winced, rubbing his hand.

"You've been a good sport," Owen told Tony with a sympathetic smile.

"Yes, he always has been one to take things in stride," Ducky said affectionately.

"We are in the process of procuring a proper ultrasound machine," Owen informed Tony and Gibbs. "Should be here shortly, and you can get a good look at the baby."

Tony gave a forced smile and looked away. "Great," he nodded, not sure he actually meant it. Seeing the gleam in Gibbs' eyes, Tony wished he could feel anything other than fear or worry over this pregnancy.

"Now, you let me know if you need anything else, all right?" Owen offered, as he, Ducky and Jimmy made their way to the door.

Tony smiled. "Thanks, Dr. Harper."

"Owen! For the love of God, call me Owen! No need for formalities!" Owen said in mock annoyance. Being dead had caused him to reconsider a lot of things he had taken for granted when he was still alive, and he was now a lot less of a stickler for titles. Life was too short and fragile to waste your time with those kinds of considerations. Death had changed him. Tosh had changed him.

"Got it. Owen." Tony smiled.

Once they were alone, Gibbs scooped Tony into his arms and they stayed silent for a moment, neither of them willing to be the one to start the conversation they knew was coming.

"I'll still love you, whatever you decide," Gibbs finally told Tony in a reassuring whisper.

Tony looked up into soft blue eyes that were gleaming with compassion, hoping to God he'd heard correctly.

"But...this is you chance to -"

"Forget about all that," Gibbs interrupted. "I love you, Tony. And I'm not gonna force you to do something you're not ready for. If we decide we want kids later on, we'll talk about it. We'll find another way. But only when we're both ready."

Relief washed over Tony's face as he nestled himself deeper into his lover's arms. "I still don't know what I want...yet. But, whatever decision I make, I won't make it without you."

The couple lay together in silence, feeling safe in the comfort of their mutual trust and respect.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Jack walked into the kitchen, closing his eyes and breathing in the aroma of fresh coffee. Ianto stood with his back to Jack, pouring a cup for each of them.

"Just us?" Ianto asked, setting their cups down on the table as they took their seats.

"For now," Jack answered. "Doctor Mallard is talking to Owen. He wanted to know all about his death, and what it was like to watch his own body decompose. I'd heard Dr. Mallard likes to talk to the dead. He must be thrilled the dead are talking back for once," Jack said with a chuckle. "I believe that Mr. Palmer is off reading somewhere, and I think Toshiko and Ms. Sciuto went out."

"What about our expectant couple?"

"Special Agent Gibbs will be in for coffee shortly. As for our gestating gentleman...I'll be showing Tony around the house a little later. I figure the more he sees of our operation, the more comfortable he'll be letting us treat him." Taking a sip of coffee, Jack gave a satisfied smile. "Ianto, you are a God!" he exclaimed, in praise of the Welshman's coffee.

"That's what you said last night," Ianto quipped.

"What can I say? You're a man of many talents," Jack said with a wink.

Ianto gave a soft laugh, his mind turning once again to their guests.

"Forgive me for seeming cold. But considering the difficulty that Special Agent DiNozzo is having in accepting his pregnancy, and the risks you admit are ahead for him, should he keep the baby? Perhaps it would be more merciful to abort the pregnancy and then Retcon our NCIS friends."

Jack shook his head. "Tony feels conflicted. He's said so himself. This means that there's a part of him that might want to keep that baby. And it's not our right to take that choice away from him."

Ianto nodded. "Understood." Taking a sip of coffee, the Welshman looked thoughtful. Something had been gnawing at him since their pregnant guest had arrived.

"Jack, I notice that you are still very formal in the way you address the majority of our new friends. Except for Special Agent DiNozzo. You already feel comfortable calling him 'Tony'. Why is that?

"What do you mean?" Jack looked a little uncomfortable at Ianto's line of questioning.

Ianto sighed. He was hoping for some truth, but Jack had previously been very guarded about his past. Ianto hoped this second chance they had been given might see Jack opening up.

"In the time I've known you, you've made passing remarks about being pregnant. We all assumed you were having us on. But I've seen the kindness you've shown Tony. You're very gentle in your interactions with him. You seem to have a unique understanding of his condition. So I can't help but to wonder if you really have been pregnant in the past."

Jack took a deep breath, steeling himself.

"Yes, Ianto. I was pregnant. A long time ago. At the end of the second World War, and months after I left Estelle, I... met a man. I didn't plan it at all but... one thing lead to another, I ended up pregnant and gave birth to a daughter."

He took a deep breath and cast a glance towards Ianto.

"Nobody ever knew about her."

A wistful smile spread across Jack's lips, as if he was remembering something both joyous and painful. "She was so beautiful!" His eyes gleamed with tears, and there were echoes of heartbreak in his voice.

Moving to the other side of the table, Ianto sat down next to Jack, taking the older man's hands into his own.

"Tell me about her."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Jack had observed a change in Tony's disposition since his arrival Friday night. He seemed calmer. A little more at peace, and perhaps even coming around to a reluctant acceptance of his circumstances and the decision he was facing. Since Tony had arrived with only his work cloths, Ianto had been generous enough to lend him some pajamas and an outfit until McGee could bring him a change of clothes later that day. They were roughly the same height and Jack had to admit to himself that the Welshman's jeans and deep red t-shirt Tony was wearing were a perfect fit.

As promised, they had worked their way from the outside in, starting in the garden. With its 10,000 square feet of living space, along with a renovated carriage house on the grounds, the house itself was rather impressive, but the garden was even more so, and Jack had to admit that he loved wandering through the three-quarters of an acre of well kept landscaped garden.

Tony seemed at peace among the flowers, remembering time spent in his mother's garden as a young boy.

"I'd help her plant and water the flowers," Tony recalled. "Well...I thought I was helping. I was probably just making a mess," he added with a laugh.

He paused in front of the sunflowers, looking thoughtful.

"These were mom's favorite. She said sunflowers represent happiness. To this day, every time I see a sunflower, I can't help but smile." Tony sighed. "Those were my happiest memories. In the garden with mom."

Tony laughed nervously, as if he were embarrassed. "Sorry, Jack. I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately. If I have this baby, I hope I can be even half the parent she was."

"I think you will, Tony. She seems to have left enough of an impression on you that I don't see how you could help but to follow her example," Jack said gently.

"You'll think I'm crazy, but, standing here in front of the sunflowers, it almost feels like she's still alive. Like she's in this garden, watching over me. Maybe if we had had more time..." Tony choked out a tearful laugh. "I'm an idiot."

"No, you're not," Jack reassured Tony, knowing all too well the gap the absence of a mother could leave in a life. "You're a son who misses his mother. And if standing here looking at sunflowers helps you to feel she's near, you can come out here as often as you like."

"I might take you up on that," Tony said, smiling faintly. "But it's a little buggy out here at the moment." He swatted at some flies. "I'm ready for the grand tour."

Once inside, Tony paused to admire the piano in the living room, recalling how his mother used to love to hear him play. Though he lacked confidence in his playing, his mother always offered him gentle encouragement, and never let him give up on himself. She was his biggest fan. He told Jack that he still plays, as a way of honoring her memory and keeping her with him, if only in spirit.

Jack found it touching how Tony's mother continued to touch his life, and even more so in pregnancy.

In the family room, Tony could have gone on for hours about the extensive movie collection. But Jack had enough at about 20 minutes, and they moved on.

The decoration of the house was simple, but in good taste. All the walls were painted in white, the only touches of color coming from the furniture and soft furnishings. The decorator who had renovated the house before they took possession of it had done a great job and Jack hadn't seen the point of changing anything at all. It was certainly not the most practical house considering their jobs, but at least it felt cozy and welcoming. After more than a lifetime spent underground, Jack didn't see why he couldn't allow himself some comfort.

Tony didn't wish to linger in the kitchen, as smells still bothered him. He found the sun room peaceful, and said it would be a good place to sit and play his guitar.

Once upstairs, even Tony couldn't deny the gadgets and computer programs Tosh had were "pretty cool". But he made Jack, Tosh and Abby swear to never tell McGee he'd said so. Tosh also took the opportunity to inform Tony that the ultrasound machine had been delivered and Owen was installing it, so they could have a proper look at his "impromptu lessee" as she called it. This managed to draw a smile on Tony's lips in spite of the circumstances.

At that point, though, Tony had had enough, and told Jack he was ready to go back downstairs and lie down.

Jack agreed that Tony shouldn't over exert himself, and recommended he get a drink of water once downstairs.

Standing at the top of the spiral staircase, Tony suddenly felt very dizzy. He had started to regret walking around so much after being in bed for nearly two days. His body clearly wasn't ready to be pushed so hard. He descended two steps before Abby, squealing with excitement at something Tosh had shown her, startled him, and he went tumbling head first down the stairs before landing with a thud at the bottom.

Hearing the fall, Gibbs and Ianto ran in from the kitchen to find Jack already at Tony's side.

"I'll fetch Owen and Dr. Mallard," Ianto informed Gibbs, who nodded his appreciation to the Welshman before turning his attention back to Tony.

Tony's eyes were closed tightly, his face twisted in pain. He was clutching his stomach and rocking from side to side on the floor.

"Tony? Tony, you all right?" Gibbs couldn't help to ask, though he clearly didn't look all right.

Finally opening his eyes, Tony gave Gibbs a mournful look.

"It hurts, Jethro," he whispered. "I think something's wrong with the baby."


	6. A Bond Understood

"The baby...I didn't mean to...hurt the baby," Tony managed to say through his pain.

His entire body ached, but he was focused on the pain in his abdomen, where he'd struck some wood on the way down the stairs. Could the baby have survived such a violent fall?

Closing his eyes, Tony tried to focus on his breathing. He would not let everyone see him have another panic attack!

Ducky lifted the t-shirt that Tony was wearing, examining the pregnant man's stomach and cautiously pressing his fingertips around the tender flesh.

"Mmm...red from impact. You'll likely be sporting an impressive bruise very soon."

Tony felt his chest tighten. "When can I get the ultrasound?" he asked, hoping to soon put this worry behind him.

"I called Owen. It's set up in your room now, whenever you're ready," Tosh informed him with a gentle smile.

Tony smiled back in gratitude. "I'm ready now." He sat up, wincing and clutching his stomach, just as McGee walked into the vast lobby with a bag of his clothes.

Seeing everyone gathered around Tony on the floor, McGee dropped the duffle bag by the door and rushed over to his friend. "Oh my God! Tony, what happened?"

"Lamentably trying to re-enact Vivien Leigh falling down the stairs in Gone with the Wind," Tony answered sharply, standing up with Gibbs' assistance and leaning against the older man. "Got really dizzy and lost my balance," he then added in a more subdued tone.

"Oh no! Are you okay? How's the baby?" McGee asked, putting a hand on Tony's shoulder in a show of brotherly support.

"I don't know. About to get an ultrasound," Tony replied, taking a shaky step forward and promptly stumbling. Fortunately, Gibbs caught him in his arms before he could fall again. He tried to take a few more steps, but he ached everywhere, and his limbs felt like jelly. His steps were more like that of a toddler just learning to walk.

Tony didn't understand why his body had become so weak. The feeling had actually started from the moment he got out of bed that morning, and gotten progressively worse. When Jack was showing him around, Tony had to stop and take frequent rests, and climbing the staircase upstairs was a lot more draining than it should have been. By the time he stood at the top of the stairs, ready to go down, his world was spinning. Add the fall and worry over the baby to everything, and Tony found himself gripped by fear and frustration. Taking a final step, supported by Gibbs on one side, and Jack on the other, Tony stumbled once again, falling to his knees and crying out in frustration. He had met enough pregnant women before to know it wasn't normal to be in such a state in the early stages of pregnancy.

Gibbs kneeled down next to Tony, lifting his lover's chin. "Tony, I know this is scary. But we'll figure this out. You have all these people here right now, because they want to help you through this. So you get that ultrasound, get some rest, and - this is very important - let us help you!"

Tony nodded, looking away, and appearing almost embarrassed. "I don't think I can walk right now. I need...help." That last word dropped off into a barely audible whisper.

Gibbs looked up at Jack, and they shared a knowing nod.

"All right, Tony. Jack and I are going to carry you."

Tony winced at the idea, but reluctantly nodded his consent. All he wanted was reassurance that the baby was okay. And if his pride had to suffer so he could get that reassurance, so be it.

Slowly and carefully, Jack and Gibbs lifted Tony up and carried him into the bedroom together, gently setting him down on the bed.

"I'm proud of you," Gibbs whispered before he released his hold. "It takes a strong man to ask for help." He punctuated the statement with a kiss, and Tony gave him a quivering smile as Gibbs and Jack removed his shirt, readying him for the ultrasound.

"This is going to be cold", Ducky warned, just before he squirted gel onto Tony's belly, while Owen was busy calibrating the machine.

"I remember", Tony smiled, surprisingly much calmer now that he was safely settled into the bed.

Tony watched the monitor expectantly as Ducky ran the doppler over his stomach, and he saw it. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. It was ridiculously small, but that tiny flashing speck was so much more than the beginnings of a baby. It was a miracle created from pure love! Two damaged men, reluctant to love for fear of getting hurt again, had at last surrendered, giving their hearts and bodies to one another. Realizing it was worth the risk.

As for the heartbeat, yes, it was present; strong and rhythmic. Unlike the first time, its sound soothed Tony. Bringing his heart to a calm, even place. Everything else faded into the back of his mind.

Feeling Gibbs squeeze his hand, Tony finally understood the miracles and gifts life had presented him with. Because yes! This pregnancy was a gift! True, Tony felt like hell, and it would likely get worse before it got better. He still didn't understand how such an impossible thing could have happened to him. But with every heartbeat, Tony could feel the bond between parent and child grow stronger. It was beyond anything he could explain, or even begin to understand. But Tony knew. He'd made his decision.

"Jethro?" Tony turned his head, looking up at the older man. "I want to keep this baby. I want us to be a family."

The room erupted into a chorus of cheers and applause as Gibbs climbed into bed beside Tony, cupped his face in his hands, and planted a tender kiss upon his full lips.

Ducky felt almost awkward as he wiped the gel off of Tony's abdomen, not wishing to disturb the intimate moment.

But the couple barely noticed anyone else's presence, no more than their hurried departure. Gibbs lovingly massaged Tony's belly, noting it was already slightly swollen, which was a curious development. Or maybe that was just his imagination.

Gibbs smiled, seeing that Tony had fallen asleep. The coming months were sure to be full of surprises, and as worried as Gibbs was about Tony, his lover was certainly the most resilient man he had ever met. Gibbs had absolute faith Tony could endure whatever this pregnancy might throw at him.

 

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

 

Tony's eyes popped open with a heartbreaking scream. He didn't know if he was sad or angry, or why he would be feeling either of those things. He didn't understand much of anything as rage and grief coursed through him simultaneously.

For days - even before he had learned he was pregnant - Tony had felt his emotions were beyond his control. It took great restraint not to cry at the smallest thing. Alternately, he frequently had to stop himself from losing his temper when Abby, who he usually found quirky and endearing, tested his patience. Or when McGee would babble on about computer stuff.

And then there were the panic attacks, which began in 2005. After his bout with the plague, followed immediately by Kate being killed just inches from where he stood, Tony was left an emotional wreck. And that was just the beginning. So much heartbreak. So much guilt. So many unspeakable things that Tony had endured and been expected to carry on with a smile.

Unbeknownst to his coworkers, he had weekly sessions with a therapist, and was only able to function with the help of medication. Nobody knew, not even Gibbs.

Tony's father used to think of himself as invincible. He hadn't even shed a tear at Tony's mother's funeral. But Tony, he knew better than that. No one could survive what he had been through and remain unharmed. There were scars in his soul which would never heal, and though he like to pretend otherwise, Tony knew he wasn't Superman. So he meekly went to his sessions and took his meds.

The problem was that in recent weeks, Tony had been unable to keep his meds down. He knew that was probably a major contributing factor to his violent mood swings. But these seemed worse. Sometimes, he managed to keep an even keel. Others, his mood would spike and drop at a moment's notice, making Tony want to rip his skin off.

Apart from the panic attacks, Tony had been able to hide all of this from everyone. Even Jethro. But now, the raw, primal scream that ripped his throat echoed throughout the house, eventually turning into hysterical sobbing. Tony found himself frightened by the sounds coming out of him. Hoping for some kind of relief from the pain in his heart.

Gibbs, Owen and Ducky came rushing into the room, the elder doctor having decided to take residence at the manor considering Tony's precarious state. Gibbs got into bed with Tony, taking him into his arms and rocking him until the sobs quieted into soft whimpers.

"It's okay, Tony," Gibbs soothed. "I'm here. You're safe."

"I...I don't...I..." Tony choked out incoherently.

Gibbs turned towards the two doctors.

"What's happening to Tony? I've never seen him like this before."

"I think I can explain," Owen said confidently, calmly taking a seat at the foot of the bed. "Ducky and I have been observing Tony's moods, and noticed they're quite...erratic."

Tony sniffled. "I thought I was doing a better job of hiding it."

"Well, you stink at it!" Owen said jokingly, with the intent of lightening the mood. It seemed to do the trick, as Tony let a soft laugh escape his lips.

"Really?" Tony sighed. "I used to be so convincing."

"Yeah. He fooled most people," Gibbs confirmed. "Not me."

Tony squeezed Gibbs closer. That was what he loved about him. He never had to hide.

"We've been looking over your test results," Owen continued. "It's taking a bit of time, because I tested you for a lot of things. Many that you'd never even dream of!"

"Yes," Ducky chimed in. "Working with Dr. Harper here has proven to be quite an educational experience!"

"So, what do you think is wrong with me?" Tony asked, hoping it was nothing too serious.

"Simply put, you're body has become a hormonal battleground", Owen answered. You have elevated levels of both estrogen and testoterone. This could also explain your weakness and dizziness. I don't mean to alarm you, but if we don't get this sorted out quickly, it will become dangerous for you and your baby."

Tony looked very afraid, nervously wringing his hands."Is there...any...anything..."

"Breathe, Tony." Gibbs rubbed soothing circles on the younger man's back. "Hear them out. This might be treatable."

"We may have a solution, Tony," Ducky informed him. "But I'm afraid you won't like it very much."

Tony swallowed hard. "What is it?"

"We're going to need to lower your testosterone levels and raise your estrogen levels, in order to make your body more suitable for the baby," Owen answered.

Tony's eyes went wide. "So, for the purpose of this pregnancy, you'd be turning me into a woman?" Tony asked, more than a little uncomfortable at the thought. "A chick with a dick?"

Owen burst out laughing.

"Don't worry. Nothing so drastic. You won't grow breasts, or lose your facial hair."

Ducky smiled gently, patting Tony on the shoulder. " What we wish to do is trick your body into believing you're a woman, to provide a safe place for your baby to develop and grow. Unfortunately..." Ducky's voice trailed off. He knew that Tony would hate the next part.

"We will need to give you a shot, every day, to keep your testosterone levels down."

"Figures," Tony muttered. "Life always finds a way to make me its bitch."

Gibbs lifted Tony's chin so that the younger man was facing him. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Last chance to decide," Owen added. "If you want this baby, Ducky is going to need to administer the first shot now."

Tony looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. For a man with a fear of needles, the idea of daily injections that would make him more feminine, at least from his point of view, was not an appealing one. And yet, the small miracle in his womb was not something he was willing to give up.

"I want this baby." The thickness in Tony's voice indicated fear and trepididation. But his tone left nothing to question. He was having this baby, and nothing was going to change his mind.

Ducky nodded. "I'll be back with your shot momentarily."

As he turned to exit, Ducky bumped into Jack coming in.

"Good evening, Dr. Mallard!" the immortal greeted.

"Ducky," the Scotsman corrected. "Please, call me Ducky."

"Okay, then. Ducky." Jack smiled and nodded cordially.

"How's the patient?" he asked Owen.

"As well as can be expected," Owen shrugged. "Agreed to daily injections that will grow him a proper vagina."

"It will do what?!" Tony practically shrieked.

"Relax, mum," Owen laughed. "I was just having you on."

"Don't call me 'mum'," Tony grumbled, as Jack and Gibbs laughed along with Owen.

"Actually, in the 51st century, men who have babies are called 'mom', the same as women," Jack told Tony, taking a seat next to him on the bed. "People aren't so concerned with gender labels in the future. And if you think about it, biologically speaking, you are this child's mother."

"And what a handsome mother he is!" Ducky chuckled, re entering the room with Tony's shot. "All right, Tony. Prepare yourself."

Tony looked to Gibbs, trying to be brave. Gibbs clasped Tony's hand into his own, allowing Tony to squeeze as tightly as he needed to as the needle entered his arm.

A sob escaped his throat as Tony squeezed Gibbs' hand until it was nearly purple. Breathing his way through the pain, Tony collapsed against his lover's chest, hating himself for being so weak.

"You did great," Gibbs whispered, pressing Tony's head against his body. "By the time this is over, you just might be cured of your needle phobia."

"Don't count on it," Tony snorted, before turning his attention to Owen. "So, what now? Will I be able to go back to work soon?"

Owen shook his head. "Not until after this baby is born. You're barely into your first trimester and you're already having problems. I can only imagine what it will be like for you later. I'm placing you on bed rest, mister! You can get up to use the bathroom - though I would recommend you pee sitting down. We'll get you a chair for the shower, and you can sit out in the living areas if you want to get out of this room. But that's it!"

Tony sighed heavily. He had hoped to have at least a few dates with Gibbs before the baby came. But he wasn't about to take any chances, so he would just have to accept these circumstances.

"Oh. One more thing," Owen added, readying himself to leave. "No sex! I don't want to have to separate you two. I can tell the two of you are the type that go at it like rabbits," Owen remarked as he walked out of the room.

"You're bedside manner sucks!" Tony called after Owen.

"Get used to it, mum!" Owen called back.

Jack chuckled. From what he'd learned about Tony, once he was feeling stronger, he'd be able to hold his own with Owen.

"Can I have a moment with Tony please?" Jack asked Gibbs, trying to be respectful of the father-to-be and his place in all of this.

Gibbs nodded to Jack, planting a kiss on the top of Tony's head as he got out of the bed.

"I'll be back to check on you soon," he promised.

Putting a hand on Tony's knee, Ducky also prepared to make his exit.

"I'm proud of you, Tony. You're going to make a great mother - I mean father. Well, I don't really know what I mean!" he finally laughed, as he and Gibbs left together.

Tony sighed, turning over onto his side to face Jack. "Is it this hard for men to be pregnant in the 51st century?"

"Well, no, not usually," Jack answered honestly.

"So, no bed rest? No shots to make you more like a woman? No being weak as a kitten?" Tony asked bitterly.

"No," Jack said, almost apologetically. "But like I said before, humankind has evolved by that time. So no. I'm sorry, Tony. Most men in my time won't experience pregnancy in the way that you are."

"Of course they won't," Tony huffed.

"But that's not to say mine was easy," Jack added cryptically.

"What?" Tony slowly sat up. "You were pregnant, Jack?"

"Yep." Jack nodded. "This is not something I usually talk about, but..." Jack averted his eyes and gazed out the window into the garden. "Anyway, I admit I didn't have any of your physical difficulties. In fact, my pregnancy was comparable to a typical female pregnancy now. The problem for me was that I wasn't pregnant in the 51st century. I was pregnant in the 1940s."

"What happened?" Tony was genuinely interested in hearing what Jack had to say. Not only because of his own current experience. But also because this truly would make a great movie. Man from the future, trapped in the distant past, falls in love and becomes pregnant. What a story!

"During World War Two, I fought for the British Army. Towards the end of the war, I served in the same regiment as this dashing Englishman named James. I was drawn to him, almost immediately, and I could tell the attraction was mutual. But he was never comfortable with his sexuality, and I knew that, if I didn't make the first move, nothing would happen between us. And so I played the part of the bold American, sneaking into his bunk after lights out. He was scared out of his wits! But I silenced him with our first kiss, and that was the beginning of our relationship," Jack recalled.

"How did you make it work?" Tony asked, lying back down. "Back then, weren't same sex relationships illegal?"

"They were,"Jack confirmed. "And we had to be careful. After the war, I'd visit James at his flat in London every other Saturday. His neighbors knew we served together, and that's all they knew. No one suspected a thing. But the things we got to behind closed doors...I awakened a side of James that he wasn't entirely comfortable facing. I think he might have hated that side of himself. The side that could love a man. By extension, he grew to hate me. Our relationship couldn't survive, as one sided as it had become."

"I'm guessing James never knew you were pregnant?" Without thinking, Tony instinctively put his hand to his own stomach.

Jack gave a joyless laugh. "No. How would I explain that I come from the future and, by the way, I'm carrying his child? He'd think I was insane! Even if by some miracle he accepted it as truth, he would always label me a freak. Worse yet, he would label our child a freak, and probably end up mistreating her."

"So, what did you do?" Tony was hanging onto Jack's every word, for once able to forget all that he had been dealing with.

"Even back then, I worked for Torchwood. Much of my time serving in the Army was actually spent protecting the soldiers from unknown alien threats, and gathering information on all unusual encounters," Jack explained. "I wasn't the only Torchwood officer enlisted. We all wanted the opportunity to serve. But we also knew that most of those men had no idea of the unspeakable threats that existed beyond their comprehension.

After I learned I was pregnant, Torchwood basically hid me away. I gave birth in the Hub. A beautiful baby girl! I held my daughter in my arms, feeling this ache in my heart. Knowing that I couldn't keep her. Torchwood was no place to raise a child. And without a proper mom and dad, she would never be accepted. She wouldn't have the opportunities that I wanted so badly for her to have. So, even though it broke my heart, I had to let her go."

Jack paused, obviously trying to maintain his composure.

"I kissed her one last time, and handed her off to Helen, a kind woman who worked with me at Torchwood and took pity on me and the child. She took my daughter to London, where James had recently married."

Jack was looking down at his hands resting in his lap. His face was red and splotched with tears, which continued to fall. He wasn't too proud to cry. The pain of losing a child was something he knew he would never recover from.

"James was already married?" Tony scowled, both surprised and disgusted, fighting off his own tears at what he was hearing. "He sure didn't waste any time before moving on."

"No. He didn't." Covering his face with his hands, Jack wiped away his tears in one swift motion. "But he married a good woman. They could offer my daughter a loving, stable home.

Helen went to them, claiming that she was the mother of my child, and that I had recently died, and she couldn't possibly raise this child alone. She asked James and his wife if they would raise her as their own, as a favor to his late war buddy Jack. And they agreed to it. James ended up raising his own child without realizing it, and I...I never saw her again. But I think about her. Every day. I wonder what's become of her, and I wish I could just see her and tell her how much I love and miss her!"

Jack closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. After all those years, the pain of letting that child go was still fresh.

Maybe it was his own pregnant hormones, but Jack's story broke Tony's heart into a million pieces, and he found himself looking at the man with a new found respect. There was more to Captain Jack Harkness than good looks and charisma. This was a man who had experienced love, loss and pain in their rawest, most devastating forms. Yet his heart remained loving, loyal and kind in spite of his pain. Jack, Tony thought, was a man to be admired.

"Oh, Jack...I'm so sorry..."

A teary eyed Jack took Tony by the hand and smiled at him.

"I didn't tell you this story for pity, or to in any way diminish what you're going through," Jack explained. "I told you so that you could know that, to some extent, I understand. You don't need to feel alone in this. You have the support of your friends, and the love of a good man. I didn't have those things when I was pregnant. I hope you realize how lucky you are."

"I do now, Jack. Thank you."

Tony felt a sense of peace in his heart. He realized now, all he needed was to feel understood. And he would be forever thankful to Jack for giving him that gift of understanding.

 

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

 

Jack sat up in bed, turning over to see Ianto sleeping soundly. Moonlight peeking through the curtains illumined his pale face, reminding Jack of the way he looked in death. Jack swallowed, blinking away oncoming tears. That was in the past. Ianto's death was nothing more than a painful memory now. He was here, alive and well, at Jack's side, where he belonged.

Deciding a hot shower was in order, Jack quietly got out of bed, checking Ianto's breathing, as he always did, before he left the room.

Shutting the bedroom door behind him, Jack winced at the creak of the hinges. He didn't wish to wake Ianto.

"Hello, Jack."

It was all Jack could do not to yelp in surprise when Owen called to him. Owen, leaning casually against the wall next to Jack and Ianto's bedroom door, smirked at the sight of the great Captain Jack Harkness, wide eyed and jumping in fright.

"I know you don't need to sleep, but you can't just lurk outside people's bedroom doors," Jack scolded, putting a hand to his chest. "It's creepy."

"Jack, we need to talk." There was an urgency in Owen's tone.

Jack ran a hand through his hair, leaning against the wall and sighing. "Something tells me I won't like what you have to say."

"I did some tests on Tony's samples to check for possible environmental causes for his state," Owen began.

"And..." Jack wished that Owen would just get on with it already.

"Nothing relevant, except for one thing."

"I know you like to build up suspense sometimes, but it's really too early. So, please, stop teasing and spit it out," Jack said irritably.

"I found traces of the same kind of pheromones as yours," Owen finally revealed.

"51st century pheromones? You mean Tony comes from the future?"

Owen shook his head. "That's what I thought at first. Then I ran a DNA test in search for similar characteristics with yours."

"Owen, I'm losing patience," Jack warned.

"Tony's DNA has 27% alleles in common with yours," Owen finally revealed.

Jack stood frozen, processing what he had just been told.

"Twenty..."

"You and Tony are related by blood, man. You didn't know that?"

"It can't... It...Tosh! Tosh!"

Knowing the tech analyst was an early riser, Jack raced to find her in her office.

Tosh spun around in her chair, brightly smiling at Jack. "Good morning! What can I do for you?"

"I need everything that you have about Tony on personal level," Jack told her without returning her greeting, his voice strained with urgency.

Tosh's face instantly morphed into a mask of concentration as she made her way into the database. She had learned a long time ago not to ask unnecessary questions when Jack was in this kind of mood.

It took only a moment for Tosh her to pull up Tony's file. "Okay, what are you looking for exactly?"

"His ascendance."

"No problem. Here we are. Anthony Dominic DiNozzo Jr.," she read. "The only child born to Anthony Dominic DiNozzo Sr. and Annabelle Elizabeth Paddington..."

Tosh's voice trailed off, as she caught sight of Jack's stunned expression.

"Annabelle..." Jack whispered, his mind racing, a myriad of thoughts and emotions overwhelming him. "Tosh. Access my personal files," he ordered, suddenly snapping out of his daze.

"Right away!" Tosh nodded, opening up the secret site she had set up years ago.

At first glance, it appeared to be the "under construction" site for a hand made soap business. Clicking on a tiny dot, it prompted Tosh to enter three distinct passwords. Finally, they were looking at the website dedicated to the safe keeping of the personal documents and photographs of all Torchwood personnel. Tosh had the fore site to make digital copies, which was fortunate, since most everything in the Hub had been destroyed in the explosion.

Tosh stood up, allowing Jack to take her seat and access his photos. He frantically ran his eyes over the files for a moment until he found the ones he was looking for. He printed out two black and white photographs so quickly that Tosh couldn't even make out what they were of.

Snatching the piece of paper from the printer, Jack dashed towards the door and almost bumped into Ianto, the young man scratching his head and yawning widely as he entered the room.

"Jack? Are you all right?" he asked, noting the tears falling down Jack's cheeks.

Jack gave a subtle nod, staring down at his feet and not daring to look at Ianto in the eyes.

"Yes... no... I don't know. I... I think I found Annabelle..." he stammered, his voice thick with emotion. Without further ado, he walked pass Ianto and literally fled through the corridor.

Tosh looked over at Owen, the pair exchanging confused glances.

They turned towards Ianto, who stood frozen in the doorway.

"What the heck is going on?" Owen demanded.

Ianto briefly turned around and shrugged.

"I don't know for sure, but I'd say another miracle," he whispered before disappearing in Jack's wake.

Owen raised a dubious eyebrow and glanced at Tosh, who seemed as lost as he was.

"Is it me or, do miracles seem fairly common these days?"

 

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

 

When Ianto entered their room only a moment later, he found Jack sitting on the bed and staring blankly out the window, his hands clutching the photos hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

Shaking off the last trace of his sleepy haze, Ianto cautiously climbed onto the bed behind his lover and gently wrapped his arms around Jack's shoulders, feeling Jack's ragged breathing against his chest.

"What's happened?" the Welshman asked in a low, cautious tone, pulling Jack down with him onto the bed.

Turning around to lay on his side, Jack gazed into the concerned eyes of his lover. There would be no more secrets between them. That had been decided the moment Ianto was returned to him from the dead. Also, Jack found that he needed the comfort that Ianto could provide him.

"Owen found 51st century pheromones present in Tony."

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"We share the same DNA!" Jack continued. "I...Tony is my..." Jack was smiling through his tears, not quite sure whether to laugh or cry.

Ianto's mouth opened wide in surprise, his own eyes tearing up with happiness for Jack. "So, Tony is your...?"

Jack nodded, a loud sob finally erupting from his throat as he fell into Ianto's welcoming arms.

"I thought I'd lost my family," Jack whispered into Ianto's neck. "And after losing Steven...I'm gonna get it right this time, Ianto."

"I know you are, Jack." Ianto smiled. "Now I understand why you and Tony already share such an amazing bond."

 

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

 

Jack quietly opened the door to Tony's room, hoping he was finally awake, since it was already after 10:00am.

With the noticeable exception of Tony's partner, Ziva, who hadn't shown up since their first meeting Friday night, everyone else from NCIS had come to visit Tony at some point during the weekend, and were now all back to work.

Even though Gibbs wanted to be able to take more time off to help take care of Tony, he felt he needed to get some things squared away at work first. He would also need to think of an excuse for any long term absence he may take. Not to mention Tony, who would be gone for nearly a year. Jack promised that he and Ianto would "handle" things for them. After all, if there was one thing Torchwood was good at, it was covering things up.

Tony stirred as he heard the door opening, turning over and smiling at Jack.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Jack greeted.

"Mm." Tony stretched, grunting as he did so. "I can't seem to stay awake. Owen said it's the shots. Apparently, it won't be as bad once I get my hormones in check."

"How are you feeling otherwise?" Jack asked, taking a seat on the bed.

"I think I'm in a slightly better mood. Or maybe I'm just too tired to notice," Tony laughed.

"I can go if you want to keep sleeping," Jack offered, pointing with his thumb to the door.

"No. Stay," Tony insisted. "You've got those photos in your hand. You obviously came in to show me something."

"Okay. You caught me." Jack laughed, taking a seat on the bed.

"Well, I wouldn't be a very good investigator if I missed that easy detail," Tony quipped, picking up one of the photos Jack had set down beside him.

It was an old black and white photo of a shirtless Jack, sitting up in bed and holding a newborn baby. Jack looked the same,Tony thought. Only tired, with sweaty bangs plastered to his forehead.

But it was Jack's expression that broke Tony's heart. As Jack looked down at the tiny new life his his arms, there was a sadness in his eyes. A pained knowledge that this child he loved so much would soon be ripped from his arms forever.

"The baby you're holding...was that your daughter?" Tony asked through the lump in his throat.

Jack nodded, his eyes to the floor. "Helen took that picture. She said I deserved to have at least something reminding me of her. It was taken just before I had to let her go. But not before I named her. I may not have been able to raise my little girl, but her name was my parting gift for her to keep for life."

"What did you you name her?"

Looking up, Jack caught Tony's gaze before answering.

"Annabelle. I named my daughter Annabelle Elizabeth."

Tony's eyes widened slightly before watering in memory. "Annabelle Elizabeth. That... That was my mom's name."

"Is that so?" Giving Tony a knowing grin, Jack gave him the second photo.

In the photo were two men in 1940's military uniform. One of them was Jack, and other man was light haired and slender, with a handsome, chiseled face. At first glance, they were just two fellow soldiers posing side by side for posterity, but looking closer, Tony noticed a certain closeness between them.

"Do you know this man?" Jack asked, pointing.

Tony took the picture and raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"Yes, of course. It's Grandpa Jim. I never met him in the flesh, but he is quite a legend in my family. Mom said he was a war hero..."

Tony looked up, his eyes meeting Jack's as he began to put the pieces together.

"Does this mean...?"

"That's right, Tony," Jack confirmed, a loving softness in his voice. "I'm your grandfather."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, of course we had to make Jack Tony's grandfather, given the undeniable physical resemblance between John Barrowman and Michael Weatherly. ^_^  
> I'm looking forward to building up the familial bond between Jack and Tony. Should be fun!
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey


	7. Broken Beneath the Surface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the positive feedback on the last chapter! I can't begin to tell you how much fun this story is to write! I'm happy that those of you reading it are also getting enjoyment out of it. :)
> 
> ~ ThePeachyMonkey

Jack should have known.

The instant he met Tony, Jack felt an immediate connection to the pregnant NCIS Special Agent. He had read Tony's file. He knew he was a strong, capable agent and man. He was a survivor, who had gone through things in his life that would break lesser men.

But he was also aware that Tony was entering a frightening new stage in his life. One that his 20th century born body wasn't ready for.

Jack felt instantly protective of Tony. Wanting to offer him comfort and support in any way he could. And he didn't understand why. Why did this random person who he barely knew stir this nurturing need within him?

Now he understood.

Looking at Tony, confusion, happiness and disbelief dancing over the younger man's face, Jack couldn't help but smile.

As green eyes stared with wonder and surprise at Jack's revelation, Jack caught a look in Tony that reminded him of both the baby girl he'd held ever so briefly and the man he shared his life with for a while.

"Y-you're...my grandfather?" Tony stammered. "You mean mom was the daughter you gave up? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I only just found out myself," Jack answered, taking hold of his grandson's hand. "Owen found 51st century pheremones present in your body. Seeing as I'm the only other person he knows who has those, he ran a DNA test and found we're related. After he told me, I immediately looked up your ascendance and found that my Annabelle is your mother."

"Do you think that's why I got pregnant?" Tony asked

Jack shrugged. "Don't know. Maybe."

"But...I've had sex with other men, and this is the first time it's happened." Tony gave Jack a quizzical look. Just when he thought he'd had it figured out, more questions arose.

Jack shook his head. "Your genetic make up is still predominantly of your own time. I do think your 51st century DNA played a part in you becoming pregnant. But it wasn't the only contributing factor. My guess is that you came in contact with something that worked with your DNA to make you pregnant."

"And Torchwood is going to get to the bottom of this?" Tony asked, looking at Jack hopefully.

"We're going to do our best," Jack promised with a smile, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears.

"Is something wrong?" Tony asked, sitting up a little straighter.

"Nothing at all," Jack said, smiling even as he let out a small sob. "Look at you! Annabelle's boy! I just can't believe we found each other!"

"Pretty incredible, isn't it?" Tony laid back down, lacking the strength or energy to sit up any longer.

"Well, I've seen some pretty amazing things in my lifetime. But I have to admit, this was totally unexpected."

Jack pulled the blankets up around Tony's shoulders and, unable to help himself, he gazed down lovingly at him. Tony didn't seem to mind this, an unspoken familial bond already present between them.

"Tony, I don't expect us to be close right away. But I would be happy for the opportunity to get to know you better. Maybe you could tell me more about your mother?"

"Of course," Tony smiled up at Jack.

Just as Tony served as a reminder of the daughter Jack had lost, Jack also reminded Tony of his mother. The humor, kindness, playfulness and strength present in Jack were all a part of who his late mother was, and a big influence on who Tony had become.

Grandfather and grandson sat in a comfortable silence until Tony fell asleep. Both of them had been alone for most of their respective lives, and they were now feeling so blessed to have found one another. Happy that they could share in such an amazing, life changing event as Tony's pregnancy.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Gibbs entered the bullpen, a coffee in each hand. He walked over to McGee's desk, handing him a coffee without a word, before sitting down at his desk with his own.

Ziva eyed her two co workers with their coffees. Gibbs was obviously making a display of not getting her one. But she chose not to dwell in it, focusing instead on her paperwork.

"How's Tony doing this morning?" McGee asked Gibbs, taking a sip of coffee.

"Hard to tell," Gibbs answered absent-mindedly, his body at the office, but his mind clearly back at the manor with Tony. "The shots seem to be helping, but he's asleep most of the time. Owen also gave him something for the nausea. Tony told me to thank you for bringing his clothes yesterday." Gibbs paused, taking a gulp of coffee, then turned towards McGee, conspicuously ignoring Ziva's glances. "I'm gonna need to get more from his apartment later today. "

"Oh. Right. I can give you a hand, if you want." McGee paused for a second, then smiled benevolently. " I hope Tony's health improves now that he's on bed rest."

McGee had been at the house when Tony had his terrifying outburst. The memory of his screams and sobs still gave the young agent chills. He hadn't dared to follow Gibbs into the room, unsure if his presence might set Tony off. But Ducky had informed him that Tony would be on bed rest for the remainder of his pregnancy, and McGee felt it was just as well. It was frightening just how weak Tony had already become. It reminded him of when Tony had the plague, and he didn't like it. That time had been a close call. Far too close.

"His clothes won't fit him for long," McGee noted. "Gotta take the baby bump into account."

Ziva snickered derisively.

"Something funny, Officer David?" Gibbs asked, giving her an icy glare.

"Just enjoying the mental image," she answered in a sing-song voice.

Deciding to overlook Ziva's childish comments and instead confront her about the real issue, Gibbs walked up to her desk, leaning into her personal space.

"You better have a damn good reason for not going to see Tony last weekend," he growled in a low, menacing voice so no one else could hear them.

"You have no ownership of my time outside of work," Ziva responded, unfazed by her boss' tone.

"Tony would be there for any one of us at a moment's notice if we needed him and you know it! I thought I could expect the same from you," Gibbs snarled, pounding on Ziva's desk.

Ziva looked up at Gibbs, her expression challenging.

"I do not think you would care so much if you had not put a cake in Tony's oven."

"You mean 'bun'," McGee corrected her. "Tony has a bun in the oven."

"Well, yes, Gibbs put something in Tony. We all know this," Ziva smirked.

If Gibbs could have punched Ziva then and there, he would have. He wanted to holler at the top of his voice. But in the workplace setting, a low, menacing tone would have to suffice.

"You think this is fun for Tony? You think he hasn't suffered enough? He could have lost the baby when he fell yesterday. He's a screaming wreck from hormones. He barely has the strength to get out of bed. He nearly fainted when I was helping him to the bathroom this morning. He's scared. He has trouble controlling his own body. If it wasn't for Torchwood...I don't even want think about what would happen to him." Gibbs leaned closer into Ziva's ear as he saw her eyes widen at his description of Tony's condition.

"Do you still think this is funny, Officer David?"

Ziva shook her head sheepishly.

"No. I do not."

Backing away from Ziva, Gibbs' tone softened slightly.

"Then go see him."

"I can not," Ziva said distantly, looking back at her work.

"I thought you told me you were okay with us."

"I did and I was. But that thing... that baby,'" Her lips twisted disparagingly. "It's too much to take. I can't go on as if this madness was perfectly normal. Sorry." The last word was softer as she averted her eyes and looked away.

With a bitter groan, Gibbs walked back to his desk and threw away his cup.

"I need more coffee," he grumbled, before striding to the elevator.

"Ziva! What the hell is your problem?" McGee asked, once Gibbs had gone. "Tony is our friend. I'd think you would be more supportive of him."

"Tony is my team mate, not my friend," Ziva corrected him.

"We see each other every day. We put our lives on the line for one another. And you know what? Gibbs was right. Tony would do anything to help any one of us. You and I both know that he has on more than one occasion. That, to me, is a friend." McGee sat back in his chair, folded his arms and waited for Ziva's reply.

"W...ell, I suppose you are right," Ziva stammered. "The facts are just hard for me to accept."

"It's an adjustment for everyone," McGee admitted. "Well, except for Jack, but that guy comes from the future so I guess it helps." He let out a chuckle. "Oh God, I can't believe I just said that. I suddenly feel like Fox Mulder in X files." He shook his head and turned towards his partner. "Anyway, if I were you, I'd avoid talking to Gibbs until you go see Tony and clear the air. Unless you have a death wish, of course."

Ziva sighed, staring blankly at the sheet of paper in her hand. "Yes. I supposed you are right."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Gibbs sighed, looking around Tony's apartment as he zipped up the suitcase filled with a new set of clothes. When Tony left for work a few days ago, he probably had no idea it was certainly the last time he would see his apartment. After the baby was born, Tony would be moving in with Gibbs. It only made sense. The mere idea of spending even one night away from his lover was unbearable.

Since the very moment they had gotten together, Gibbs had planned to ask Tony to come and live with him. But before he had a chance to do so, Tony had fallen sick and things had started to spin out of control.

In the bathroom, Gibbs packed away Tony's electric razor, and sealed his shampoo and body wash in plastic bags. Even on bed rest, Tony would want to look his best. Gibbs smiled to himself, thinking it was impossible for him to look anything but handsome.

Opening the medicine cabinet to look for Tony's deodorant, Gibbs was more than surprised to find two prescription bottles. Curious and slighty worried, he picked them up and looked them over, brows furrowing in concern as he read their labels.

"Oh, Tony...Why didn't you tell me?"

Setting the bottles down on the sink, Gibbs pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed.

"Ducky? There's something you need to know."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Gibbs needed to talk to Tony. He needed to understand the hurt the younger man had been holding inside, and why he hadn't dared to confide to him. He needed to find out what was eating up the man he loved inside. The man who was carrying his child. Who he had sworn in his heart to love and protect from hurt and tears. That same man was carrying wounds in his heart, and had kept them hidden away.

Tony was proud, and used to hiding his pain. Gibbs understood this. The last several days must have been hell for him, feeling so out of control of his own emotions. Gibbs wanted to be the steadying presence Tony needed. But first, he needed to better understand Tony's pain.

Gibbs knew that Jack wanted to talk to him. Ducky had said as much over the phone, after urging Gibbs to tell Jack about the pills in Tony's medicine cabinet. "Jack deserves to know," the medical examiner had said, though Gibbs had no idea why anyone not directly involved with Tony's treatment would need such information. Be as it may, Ducky had already told him that he would spread the news to Owen and that together they would try to figure out how to help Tony, at least medically. Withholding his treatment was likely to have had a bad effect on his health and increased his symptoms, but Ducky seemed confident, and Gibbs trusted he and Owen to find a solution.

Arriving at the Torchwood house, Gibbs was greeted at the door by Jack, who motioned him to sit in the kitchen and join he and Ianto for a cup of tea. Though not usually a tea drinker, Gibbs didn't want to refuse his gracious hosts.

Talking over tea, Gibbs was more than a little surprised by the news that Jack was Tony's grandfather. But, given what he knew about the rest of Tony's family, it was a comforting thought to know that Tony would have family with him during his pregnancy, which had already proven to be a difficult one. No matter that Jack looked more like Tony's older brother than his grandfather, he was a good man. Gibbs liked and trusted him almost immediately, which was a rare thing for the former marine. The same could be said for the entire Torchwood team. There was an honesty and loyalty about them; two qualities he admired more than almost anything.

Now that Gibbs understood Jack's connection to Tony, he knew why Ducky had urged him to be open with the man. And if Gibbs told Jack, he would have to tell Ianto as well. Gibbs understood. Tony was Jack's family. Ianto was Jack's partner. So, in a way, Ianto was family, too.

"You talk to Tony first," Jack decided. "If he feels like opening up to me, that's something he can decide for himself. I don't want him to feel that we're ganging up on him. Even though I'm genetically his grandfather, I'm not going to presume any kind of closeness this early on. That needs to be earned."

Gibbs nodded. "In Tony's condition, that's probably best. He doesn't - "

Jack's cell rang, cutting Gibbs off.

"Hello, Tony... Well... Actually, Jethro is here. Would you like him to help you?...All right. I'll send him in."

Ending the call, Jack looked back at Gibbs. "Tony needs you to help him to the bathroom. He's still too dizzy to go on his own."

Gibbs nodded, standing up. "Good talk. Good tea." With those last words, he smiled at Ianto. While it was true he wasn't a tea drinker, he had to admit there was something exceptional about the way the Welshman brewed it.

"Thank you, sir," Ianto smiled graciously, with a slight bow of the head.

Once in the bedroom, Gibbs found Tony still lying down, phone in hand, eyes half closed. Obviously just waking up.

"Hey, Jethro," Tony greeting in a weak, raspy voice.

"Hey." Gibbs gave Tony a kiss on the lips before helping him to sit up and swing his feet over the side of the bed. "Gotta hit the head, huh?"

"Mmhmm," Tony grunted, too dizzy to nod.

Helping Tony to his feet, Gibbs walked alongside him as he slowly shuffled towards the bathroom.

"I heard about you and Jack," Gibbs commented, his heart warmed by the smile that crept across Tony's face at his words. Gibbs knew Tony was craving so much for the affection. He really deserved to experience the love a family could offer.

"Pretty crazy, right?" Tony chuckled softly. "But it's nice. It's good to have family around now."

The couple walked into the bathroom together, Gibbs holding Tony steady as the younger man pulled down his pants. Supporting Tony as he sat and making sure he didn't fall.

"Jack wants to know more about my mom," Tony said, continuing their conversation as he urinated. "I'm going to need to remember pretty far back. It would be nice to have some pictures to show him. I have a few old photo albums at my apartment. Could you get them after work tomorrow?"

"Sure. Not a problem." This was a perfect opening to bring up the pills, Gibbs thought. But was it the right time? In Tony's current state, was there ever a right time?

"I'm done," Tony said, pulling Gibbs out of his thoughts.

Tony appeared unsteady as he attempted to stand, so Gibbs allowed him to rest his hands on his shoulders as he pulled the younger man's pants up. His hands rested for a moment on Tony's shapely buttocks. God, he was so gorgeous! So fucking gorgeous! He wanted oh so desperately to fuck that ass again. But it was off limits until after the baby was born. That didn't stop Gibbs from firmly gripping Tony's cheeks, pulling him close and enjoying the feeling of Tony's warm, firm body against his own. Tony moaned softly, but was still mostly limp in Gibbs' arms.

Guiding Tony to the sink, Gibbs stood behind him as he washed his hands, effectively holding him upright. God, Tony smelled good! He always smelled so good to Gibbs! If he had talked to Jack about it, Gibbs would learn that it was the 51st century pheromones. Not nearly as strong as they were in Jack, but strong enough to drive a sexual partner mad with desire. No need to wonder why he used to leave so many conquests in his wake.

"I picked up some things from your apartment today," Gibbs told Tony, handing the pregnant man a towel as he leaned against the sink. "Just some clothes and toiletries."

"Thanks," Tony said absently, handing Gibbs the used towel to hang back on the rack.

Linking arms with Tony, the pair slowly walked back to the bedroom. Gibbs decided it was as good a time as any to bring up his discovery.

" I saw the pills in your medicine cabinet. I never knew you were being treated for anxiety and depression."

Tony said nothing for awhile, looking away from Gibbs as he was helped into bed.

"Tony?" Gibbs' tone was gentle as he pulled the blankets up around his lover.

"I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell anyone," Tony's response was barely audible, his face turned into the pillow.

"Why is that?" Gibbs asked, lying down beside Tony and carding his fingers through his hair.

"I worried you'd think I couldn't do my job. That I was unfit to be an NCIS agent," Tony confessed. "And I needed to work! I needed to be able to see you every day because...because I feel safe with you. I couldn't afford to lose my job, because I couldn't stand the thought of not being with you. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged."

Tony knew he was being more open than he ordinarily would be. But this was Gibbs he was talking to. The one person he felt safe being himself around. Besides, the cat was out of the bag. How much worse could it be?

"Oh, I know you're more than capable. You've proven that time and time again," Gibbs whispered, warm air lovingly hitting Tony's ear. "What bothers me is that you've been suffering alone all this time."

"It was my job, right?" Tony laughed bitterly. "It's what people expected of me. Be the comic relief of the team. Be the clown. I couldn't let the team down...I couldn't let you down."

Gibbs felt a twinge of guilt in the pit of his stomach. For years, Tony had been the reason he had come into work. The one who could lift his spirits, and bring light into the darkness that was part of their jobs. He had no idea that the very person that made him happier was living with such sadness. Gibbs felt like such a selfish bastard for failing to notice Tony's pain.

"I haven't been able to keep my meds down lately - which is just as well, I guess - and my feelings...have gotten away from me. I feel like I'm not in control of myself, and I hate it. I hate that everyone has seen that side of me now." Tony's voice was thick and choked with emotion. "Do you know how it feels to lose control of your own mind? I...I'm scared."

Turning around onto his side to face Gibbs, Tony collapsed onto the older man's chest, sobbing.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be weak. I'm shouldn't cry."

"Shh...it's okay," Gibbs soothed, massaging the back of Tony's head. "You said it yourself; you feel safe with me. Well, here I am. I'm not going anywhere."

Gibbs held Tony's trembling form until the younger man fell asleep in his arms. It pained him to see Tony broken like this. To know that the smiles, jokes, witty remarks and movie references were all a part of his elaborate facade to make everyone believe he was all right, while inside he was screaming.

"We're gonna get you the help you need, Tony," Gibbs whispered, kissing the top of his head. "I promise."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

The following day, tension hung thick in the bullpen. Gibbs and Ziva were barely on speaking terms, and McGee was left to play peace keeper. It was just as bad in the lab, as Abby made her displeasure with the Mossad officer abundantly clear. McGee wished he was endowed with Tony's ability to lighten the mood with a joke or an inappropriate remark. It was in moments like these that he missed his partner the most.

He could understand how the situation might make Ziva a bit uncomfortable. Less than a week before, alien hunters and ghosts were only urban legends, let alone male pregnancy. What he didn't understand was the near disdain on her face at the mere mention of Tony or his pregnancy. It wasn't like Tony had done anything to her personally, and McGee honestly found her lack of concern and empathy sickening.

"Is Tony feeling any better today?" McGee almost whispered as he approached Gibbs' desk.

"Hard to tell," Gibbs answered. "But he's more alert. I'll take that as a good sign."

"Is he up to talking on the phone yet? I could call him when I have a free moment," McGee offered.

"Yeah. He should be," Gibbs said with a distant smile, his mind clearly still with Tony. "He'll be glad to hear from you."

McGee couldn't help but to observe that Gibbs had changed since beginning his relationship with Tony. He was less gruff, and laughed more openly. Since learning he was going to be a father again, a warmth had crept into his personality as well. The changes were subtle. Those who didn't know him well might not even pick up on them. But McGee saw them, and knew that it was all because of Tony.

Smiling to himself as he sat back down, he thought there was no way to feel anything but happy for the expectant couple. Eyeing Ziva warily, he wondered if she would ever come around to seeing things this way.

The whole situation felt like a surreal dream. McGee wasn't about to deny that. But take away the strange circumstances, and it was all very touching. And the news he had received from Gibbs about Jack and Tony's connection made it even better.

A couple that previously believed they would never have a child of their own, suddenly expecting. A man finally meeting the grandfather he never knew he had. Both touching events on their own.

Never mind that the expectant "mother" is a man, or that the grandfather is an immortal alien hunter from the future who looks roughly the same age as his grandson. These were human beings, with human emotions, going through very human things. When looked at from that perspective, it was easy for McGee to overlook the aspects that many would understandably consider abnormal. Maybe also because he had always been attracted by sci-fi and fantasy concepts and was more familiar with these kinds of topics.

Out of the corner of his eye, McGee saw two figures exiting the elevator and felt his jaw drop. Turning his gaze, he saw Jack wearing a U.S. Army Colonel's uniform, and Ianto in a pristine tailored three piece suit, even more sophisticated looking that the ones he usually wore, if that was even possible. Jack was already dashing his his vintage outfit and his long gray coat. But right now, in his impeccable uniform, he looked simply breathtaking. McGee didn't fail to notice the hungry looks both men earned from the female staff, and also from a few men too.

The Torchwood leader gave the team a sly wink as he and Ianto headed straight upstairs towards Director Vance's office.

McGee and Ziva exchanged befuddled looks.

"What are they doing here?" Ziva mouthed.

McGee simply shrugged. He was just as lost as Ziva.

The pair turned to face Gibbs, who wore the faintest hint of a knowing grin on his face. When Director Vance called to him from the stairway, he didn't seem surprised at all. It almost seemed he was expecting it.


	8. Beyond the Darkness

Gibbs entered Director Vance's office, pretending not to know the men seated at his desk.

"Special Agent Gibbs, this is Colonel Christopher Tennant and Sean Craig, here on behalf of MI5," Vance intrduced Jack and Ianto respectively.

"Pleased to meet you," Jack greeted, standing up and extending his hand.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir," Ianto said, following Jack's example.

"They're leading an international, inter agency special ops mission to take down a drug ring in Afghanistan used to fund Al Quaïda," Vance continued. "You and Special Agent DiNozzo have been requested by name. You for your skills as a sniper, and DiNozzo for his undercover experience."

"Sounds like a big deal," Gibbs said in his usual casual tone that most found so hard to read. "When are we supposed to head out?"

"A plane is waiting to take you to site by the end of the day," Jack answered. "As we speak, Special Agent DiNozzo is already on his way to Afghanistan to begin his part of the mission, gathering intel and earning the trust of the locals."

"Due to the top secret nature of the mission, I am only just now learning of your involvement. And as much as I hate letting two of my men go blindly into this kind of situation, my hands are tied. The order was signed by the President himself," Vance informed Gibbs, casting subtle glares at Jack and Ianto.

"Apologies, Director Vance," Ianto said with a polite bow. "But for securities reasons, you must also sever all contact with your agents until the mission is complete."

"And how long do you anticipate that taking?" Vance asked irritably.

Jack shrugged. "Could be a month. Could be a year. But I can assure you that you will be contacted once your agents complete their mission."

"Dead or alive?" Vance asked rhetorically.

Ianto nodded. "However, based on their considerable skills and experience, we feel confident they will come back to you in one piece."

"What about my team?" Gibbs asked, not wanting to arouse any suspicion in Vance by going along with things too willingly. "I can't dump them like that."

"I've got some suitable temporary agents in mind," Vance reassured Gibbs. "Unfortunately, since Colonel Tennant and Mr. Craig here want you flying out to Afghanistan ASAP, you won't have the luxury of vetting your replacements."

Gibbs gave a reluctant sigh. "Since DiNozzo is already on his way, you don't leave me much choice. I'll have to trust McGee and David to keep the new agents in check."

"Okay." Vance gave a curt nod. "I'll leave you to these gentlemen. Don't worry about informing McGee and David. I'll take care of that."

Gibbs nodded in understanding, and Jack and Ianto shook Vance's hand, thanking him for the use of his agents before the three men departed.

Entering the elevator with Jack and Ianto, Gibbs smiled to himself. He'd be sure to call Abby and McGee later, letting them know what was really going on. In the meantime, he was comfortable in the knowledge that he could now remain at Tony's side, supporting him through his pregnancy every step of the way.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

8-year-old Tony clung to his father's side, a chill running through him as they entered the waiting room. It appeared to be some kind of doctor's office. He hated doctors. Since his mother had died just months ago, they scared him. There was something in them that inevitably reminded him of hospitals. The mere sight of a white coat was enough to make him feel sick.

Tony felt panic rise within him. Was his father sick? He didn't want to be an orphan. What would happen to him then? Gripped by fear, the little boy clung tighter to the man.

"Get off, Junior!" his father growled under his breath, pushing Tony away. "You're wrinkling my jacket."

The waiting room was empty and Tony and his father took their seats near the door, Tony once again grabbing onto his father's arm as the man settled in to read a magazine.

"What did I just tell you, Junior?" the elder DiNozzo scolded, yanking his arm away with an annoyed huff. "I told your mother not to baby you. Now she's gone, and look what I'm stuck with!"

Tony looked up, wide eyed, at his father. He loved the man, but he feared him. Missing the warm and loving personality of his mother, Tony curled up into a ball.

At the same time, a middle aged couple entered the room, nodding at them before gently leading their daughter towards the opposite row of chairs.

Peeking out from above his knees, Tony saw the other parents casting a wary glance his father's way, but his expression had already morphed into his usual affable mask as he ruffled Tony's hair, and their features quickly softened with sympathy.

"Anthony DiNozzo?" a woman called, and Tony and his father were soon following her down a hallway and into an office.

Sitting behind a desk, the woman motioned to two chairs on the other side of it. "Please, have a seat." Her tone was welcoming and kind. What kind of a doctor was this? She didn't wear a white coat and her office didn't look like any doctor's office Tony had seen before.

"Tony?" the woman addressed him gently. "I'm Dr. Moore. But you can call me Miss Carol. I can see you look a little afraid today, but please don't worry. This is a safe place."

Tony eyed the woman cautiously. She seemed safe enough. Like a teacher or something. With light brown hair pulled up into a loose bun, and dark glasses on her pale, round face. Tony started to open up from his defensive position in the chair, when his father's voice pulled him right back into it.

"Good luck getting him to talk!" the man said gruffly. "He's barely said a word since his mother died a few months ago. He just follows me like a shadow. Clinging to me. Getting in my way. The boy is 8 years old and he acts like a scared toddler!"

"Well, Mr. DiNozzo, sometimes the loss of a parent can -"

"Yeah, yeah. Do what you need to do," Tony's father said dismissively. Letting out a heavy sigh, he shook his head. "Don't misunderstand me, Dr. Moore. I'm very concerned for my son's well being. But what you must understand is that I am a business man. I have to travel around the word and I need a certain freedom of movement. And it's impossible as long as Junior acts like this. I can't afford to have a clingy kid constantly wrapped around my leg. It's truly... inconvenient, you see."

Doctor Moore's eyes slighty narrowed, but she didn't say anything, patiently listening to the tirade and glancing at Tony from time to time.

Holding his knees closer to his chest, Tony buried his face in his personal cocoon, pushing the sound of his father's voice to the back of his head. He missed his mother. The world was a scary place without her.

※

"Tony?"

"Mmm?" Tony blinked, Ducky's voice calling him out of memory.

Ducky sat cross-legged in a chair at Tony's bedside, holding a thick folder.

"It wasn't an easy task, but with help from of Dr. Harper and Ms. Sato, I was able to obtain copies of your records, and I must say, they are quite the eye opener! For example, I never knew - "

"Can you help me?" Tony cut the Scotsman off. He knew that Ducky would go on and on if given the chance, and he really didn't need to review his lengthy psychiatric history. It had demanded enough effort from him to hide the reality of his state from the various shrinks he had met throughout his years in law enforcement, just in order to keep his job. He didn't need a reminder of how fucked up he was, and how far back his issues went.

Ducky sighed. "We can do our best. Unfortunately, given your precarious state, and the very fact that you are with child, we do not feel comfortable keeping you on medication."

Tony gulped. While he certainly didn't want to risk harming himself or, more importantly, the baby, he felt like, without his medication, he had no lifeline to cling to. It was a frightening thought.

"So, now what?"

"We're going to start you on light therapy today," Owen answered from where he stood in the corner. "We'll also try and treat your symptoms nutritionally. The results may be slower and more subtle, but should prove helpful over time."

"Lastly, but perhaps most importantly," Ducky added, "we will need to keep you with others whenever possible. Keeping you social and busy will lift your spirits and improve your sense of self worth, taking your mind away from harmful thoughts. But I guess you already knew that, since you were previously a very social person."

"How?" Tony asked. "How can I be social and busy while on bed rest?" He really didn't understand how it could be possible. So early into his pregnancy, and he was already so weak. While the hormone shots had improved the dizziness - he could actually sit up without the room spinning - he was still extremely weak. Besides, Owen had made his orders clear."

"We're going to get you a wheelchair, Tony," Owen answered, holding up a hand when he saw Tony wince in protest. "This will allow you the freedom to do more than short walks between the bed and the toilet. The way I see it, that freedom can only help your mood."

Tony nodded reluctantly. Just like he had with Doctor Moore, he trusted the two doctors, and he knew that they would do their best to make sure he didn't spin out of control into his personal darkness.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

The soft sunlight of Saturday morning beamed through the kitchen window, warming Tosh's face as she cut up fruit for breakfast. Her giggles belied her admonishing tone as she urged Owen to stop distracting her from her work with light kisses to her neck and nibbles to her ear. The kitchen smelled of pastries Ducky had popped into the oven not long ago. Sausage was set off to the side, ready to be grilled when everyone was out for breakfast. All that was missing was the intoxicating aroma of Ianto's coffee. But he and Jack had yet to emerge from their room. The night before had been busy and stressful, and they deserved time on their own.

Owen had finally given Tosh some peace to work, as he and Ducky checked on Tony, who was sitting at the kitchen table. Gibbs sat beside him, holding his hand, his free hand tapping on the table, suffering the caffeine withdrawal with a smile. Waiting as patiently as he could for his overdue first cup of coffee.

Glancing back, Tosh couldn't help but to smile at the sight of Tony. At 4 months pregnant, he was already sporting a baby bump that looked more like a beer gut at this point. It was rather unusual considering the stage of his pregnancy, but Owen assured them there nothing to worry about for the moment. "We can't treat this as we would a female pregnancy," he had explained. "There will be differences." And Jack himself confirmed that he started to show pretty early on with Tony's mother.

Abby and McGee, who were visiting for the day, hovered, talking to and cooing at Tony's stomach. Owen scolded them to move out of the way so he and Ducky could check Tony's vitals, while Gibbs and Ducky simply laughed at the spectacle.

Turning back to her task, Tosh felt at peace as she began washing off strawberries. Things felt...normal? Was that the word she was looking for? It had been so long since she had experienced any semblance of normalcy. And the fact that the house had two people resurrected from the dead, a ghost, an immortal from the future and his pregnant grandson living in it would hardly constitute as "normal" for most people. But there was a feeling of family. Warmth, love, comfort, bickering and a touch of craziness. Just what family should be, she thought as she went about cutting the strawberries. Her father died long ago, she had no siblings, and she couldn't contact her mother without causing her even more pain. So she was happy to have a new hand made family to rely on.

"That's pretty," Tony commented.

Tosh's head snapped around. "I'm sorry, Tony. What did you say?"

"That song you're humming. It's pretty," Tony explained.

"Oh!" Tosh gave an embarrassed laugh. "Thank you,Tony. It's just a song I used to sing with my grandmother when..."

Tosh's voice trailed off as the realization hit her. She had no clear memory of singing the tune with her grandmother, but she knew that she had. "Perhaps it was when - "

Tosh's musings were interrupted when Jack and Ianto came bursting into the kitchen mid argument.

Tosh and Owen exchanged knowing looks. It seemed that Jack and Ianto were still fighting over the previous night's hunt. Going after creatures that were reminiscent of Weevils, but far uglier, and with a bite that was poisonous to its victims. Putting them down hadn't been an easy task, and Ianto had almost been bitten.

"That was stupid. Stupid and reckless!" Jack shouted.

"I was doing my job!" Ianto countered.

"Doing your job doesn't mean you have to be reckless and risk your life!"

"Yeah, because that's not what you do all the time?" Ianto said sarcastically.

"I am immortal. You are not," Jack argued.

"Yes, like most of the people you know, and yet it doesn't prevent them from crossing the street, just because they could get run over," Ianto said irritably as he started preparing the coffee with unusual brusqueness.

"Hey!" Tony interrupted them. "Tony doesn't like it when grandpa Jack and baby grandpa Ianto fight," he said in a tiny baby voice.

Ianto gave Tony a sideways glance as he started brewing the coffee. "Did you just call me 'baby grandpa'?"

"Well, you're my grandpa's lover, and you are the youngest adult here," Tony pointed out.

"Plus, he's boyishly handsome! Like McGee!" Abby added affectionately, ruffling Tim's hair .

"I am not boyish!" McGee objected.

"Yeah you are, McBabyface!" Tony laughed.

"And handsome!" Abby made sure to repeat.

Tosh smiled, noting that, like Jack, Tony had a gift for diffusing tense situations with humor. Watching as the Torchwood leader retreated with Tony into the living room, Tosh turned her attention to Ianto, who was leaning against the counter, watching the coffee brew. She understood why Jack was upset with and worried about him. Losing Ianto had been devastating, and considering Jack's own experience with death, it wasn't surprising that he wasn't keen to take risks with Ianto's life.

She'd been meaning to ask Ianto about his experience with his own death, but had never known how to bring up the subject. Maybe now was the right time. If the feelings and dream like snippets she had been receiving were any indication, perhaps the Welshman might have some hope to offer his lover.

"Are you all right, Ianto?" Tosh asked, gently rubbing Ianto's back.

Ianto nodded, steeling himself as he began pouring the coffee into mugs. "I know that Jack means well. I'm just sick of him treating me like a child, or a fragile china doll who needs to be wrapped in cotton wool."

Tosh nodded in understanding, watching as Ianto prepared everyone's coffee to their liking. "I'll take those," she offered, handing everyone their coffees as they were ready.

Now, they just had to fry up some sausage, and wait for the pastries to finish baking.

"Ianto, I've been meaning to ask you -" Tosh began, before the sound of piano playing in the living room pleasantly distracted everyone.

Intrigued by the sound, their guests went, coffee cups in hand, into the living room to listen. A coffee-less Owen followed, leaving Ianto and Tosh to talk and finish preparing the meal.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Tony sat at the piano, playing and humming a playful tune. Jack's voice joined in, and they were soon singing together, the light-hearted number welcoming their audience.

"The night is young, the skies are clear

So if you want to go walking, dear,

It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely.

I understand the reason why

You're sentimental, 'cause so am I,

It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely."

Tony and Jack's vocal styles were very different, but both pleasing to the ear, and hearing them together brought cheerful smiles to all who were listening. Eventually, Ducky sang along as well, earning an approving grin from Jack.

The song was a bright, welcome start to the day, and the growing bond between Jack and Tony became all the more evident. The still tentative closeness between the two broken men was very touching and Gibbs couldn't help feeling his heart swell in his chest at the idea that they seemed to have finally found the family they had been looking for for so long. It was so different from Tony's toxic relationship with his father. So much more comforting and healthy. Though they were both grown men, there was something between them that reminded Gibbs of Kelly's relationship with her grandfather. Something genuine and easy going.

"Never pegged you for a Cole Porter fan," Jack told Tony once the song had ended.

"My mom used to sing this to me all the time. She loved those old musicals!" Tony revealed with a smile.

"Really?" A smile brightened Jack's face, making his blue eyes sparkle. "I used to often sing this song to your mother when I was pregnant with her. Funny that it seems to have stayed with her."

"She's been on my mind a lot lately," Tony confessed, his eyes glancing out the window into the garden. "I wish she could be here now, singing with us. I wish she could meet you."

Jack captured Tony in a hug, furiously blinking back tears, so as not to upset him. "So do I, Tony. So do I."

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Ianto and Tosh were plating up breakfast. Their spirits, too, had been lifted by the tune that carried in from the living room. But moreover, the time alone had also given them the opportunity to talk, finding comfort in their shared experiences with death.

"You should tell him," Tosh whispered to Ianto, just before everyone came in, refreshed and ready to eat.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"I want you to know that I understand," Ianto told Jack, as the two men lay naked beside each other in their bed. "I know why you're over protective of me. You're scared of losing me again. I understand that. It's just that sometimes I can't help feeling smothered. "

Jack nodded, relieved at the younger man's comprehension. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I was thoughtless and careless with your feelings, and I never told you how I felt because I was a coward. After you died, there was this pain in my heart, this unspeakable ache...I cursed my immortality then. I would have gladly followed you into that darkness, so that you wouldn't have to face it alone.

Ianto reached over, resting his head on Jack's chest. He had never dared to broach the subject before, but now he knew he needed to comfort the older man. Jack needed to know the truth. It would give him hope. Something to hold on to.

"You're wrong about the darkness, Jack," Ianto said matter of factly.

Jack gave Ianto a questioning look. "What are you talking about. I've died thousands of times. That's all there is. Darkness.

"Tell me what it's like for you, when you die," Ianto urged, ignoring the bitterness of Jack's statement.

"What are you, a shrink?" Jack half joked. "What's there to tell? I die, then there's a darkness, and a silence that's almost smothering. Before long, I'm pulled back into the land of the living. Sometimes it's sudden. Sometimes more drawn out. But it's always a bit jarring."

"So, your body expects to be pulled back to life. It's what you're designed to do. You're not meant to settle into death, and you know it. Correct?" Ianto prodded.

"I guess," Jack laughed. "What's with all the questions?"

"I just want to hear your experience, so that I can help you understand mine," Ianto explained, raising himself up onto the pillow so that he and Jack were eye to eye. "When I died - and when Tosh died - it was assumed that we would stay dead. We had a bit of time to settle into it. Tosh more so than I did. Our experiences differ a bit. She doesn't have many clear memories. Just pleasant feelings, and snippets that are more like dreams. Occasionally, she will have clear recollections of spending time with loved ones. As for me, I was dead less than a day. My memories are more vivid."

Jack took a few deep breaths before responding, giving Ianto's words time to sink in. He was being forced to rethink everything he'd come to believe about death. Given those beliefs, this was probably a good thing. But it still took a moment of mental preparation on his part.

"And what do you remember?" Jack finally asked, reaching for Ianto's hand. Whether the gesture was to comfort Ianto or himself, he did not yet know.

"You were holding me, and I wanted to stay there in your arms. I tried to hold on for as long as I could. I didn't want to slip away from you. But the darkness finally claimed me and I couldn't fight it anymore," Ianto said, shuddering.

"At first, it was exactly as you said. This thick, smothering darkness. I was afraid. Afraid of being left in that darkness, all alone. I wanted to cry. Wanted so badly to cry. But I felt I'd lost my voice. So I tried to relax. It took great effort on my part, but eventually, I came to an acceptance of my reality. What else could I do? Once I'd reached that acceptance, I heard it."

"Heard what?" Jack asked. He had never heard anything in death. Nothing until he was brought back to life.

"Music!" Ianto replied, his voice suddenly taking on a bright, cheerful tone, like that of a child. "It sounded almost like wind chimes, but there was a melody in there. A true song. It was most inviting. Eventually, the darkness peeled away as light welcomed me."

"Go to the light, Ianto Jones!" Jack teased.

"I'm serious!" Ianto punched Jack playfully in the arm. "It was like opening my eyes. The song kept calling to me, and I felt very loved. Like I would be cared for. I was still halfway in darkness. Beckoned by music and light. I was curious, and ready to find out what waited for me there, when I felt a gentle hand holding me. Something was pulling me back. Away from the light, yet out of the darkness."

"Owen," Jack guessed. "That's when he brought you back."

Ianto nodded. "The transition was very gentle and smooth. Since I had not yet crossed over completely, I just had a very pleasant feeling. Like coming home."

Jack propped himself up on to an elbow, looking down at Ianto as he brushed some stray hairs off of his forehead. "You're sure about this? Absolutely sure?"

"I am, Jack!" Ianto said emphatically. "At first, I didn't want to tell you, because it seemed so unfair that you were denied the experience and stayed stuck in the darkness. But I finally realized that I needed to tell you, because I don't want you to worry for me anymore. I'm going to die again someday. Hopefully a long time from now. But when that time comes, I need you to know that I'll be all right."

Jack pulled Ianto close, so that their torsos were pressed tightly together. "Thank you for that," he said thickly. "It is a comfort. But I still don't want you to be reckless. I'm not ready to lose you again. I want to love and keep you when you are a very, very old man, all white hairs and distinguished wrinkles."

Ianto nodded tearfully into Jack's shoulder. "I'll be more careful. I promise."

Allowing himself to melt into Jack's protective embrace, Ianto thought of the days before his death. All he had wanted from Jack was a declaration of love. To know that their relationship meant something to him. And yes, Jack had hurt him. The love had begun to feel very one sided. But Ianto did see the change in Jack in the moments before death claimed him. On the verge of loss, Jack's love for Ianto was written all over his face, and audible in his voice, though he hadn't been able to say the words out loud at the time.

Now, given this second chance, Ianto had come to realize that the over protectiveness Jack felt towards him was in itself a strong declaration of love. Sinking further into the safe embrace of his lover, Ianto decided that avoiding reckless behavior was the least he could do to honor that love.

In a way, Ianto was glad Jack had let him say his piece before pulling their bodies so very close to together. Damn, Jack's scent was intoxicating! His 51st century pheromones butted Ianto's thoughts in a haze of desire, and he soon found himself helpless in the older man's arms.

Ianto was so lost in Jack's warmth that he gasped in surprise, eyes popping open, when a lubed finger circled his hole before slowly, skillfully entering him.

Ianto moaned at the intrusion, gyrating back into it. Whimpering as a second finger entered, expertly dancing within him. Stretching his eager entrance.

By the time the third finger had entered Ianto, he was writhing in ecstasy, pleasure coursing through his body at the pressure tugging within him.

Jack slowly withdrew his fingers, watching as Ianto fell onto his back; a more than willing body for Jack to play with.

"You are so fucking beautiful!" Jack growled, staring hungrily at the dark hair, pale flesh, and blue eyes that stared up at him, hungry for his touch.

Licking and nibbling at Ianto's ears; sucking the tender spots of his neck, Jack's mouth never left Ianto's body as he generously slathered lube onto his erect cock.

Pressing Ianto's knees up to his shoulders, Jack licked at his inner thighs, eliciting gasps and moans from the younger man before finally steadying his knees on his shoulders.

In an erotic trance, Ianto's breath hitched in surprise as Jack's member nudged teasingly at his entrance before penetrating completely.

It was slow, deep and thorough. Jack's cock massaging Ianto's prostate. Strangled moans of satisfaction escaped the Welshman's throat, his own cock, hard and erect, poking into Jack's stomach.

Jack, so turned on by the gorgeous, submissive form beneath him, pumped harder, faster. Relishing the cries of ecstasy, Jack grunted and moaned his way to completion, spilling his seed into Ianto. Filling his welcoming body as Ianto spilled his own cum all over Jack and himself.

Collapsing next to Ianto, Jack wiped a finger full of cum off his stomach. sucking hungrily at the digit. God, everything about Ianto tasted good! His skin, his lips as well as his cum. He repeated the process several times, until he was satisfied he was clean, then hovered over his dazed lover.

Ianto's chest and stomach glistened with cum, and Jack went right in, licking every last bit off of the fair skin. His tongue taking a detour to deep red, pointy nipples, licking teasing circles that caused Ianto to shudder in satisfaction.

Pulling back, Jack's eyes drank in the sight of Ianto gazing at him with adoration. There was no way Jack was ever going to let anything happen to the beautiful Welshman. He would protect Ianto, body heart and soul, for decades to come, whatever it takes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, yes. Jack's Alias is taken from Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant! We are true Whovians, after all. ;) And Ianto's alias was clearly taken from the James Bond actors. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the glimpse into Tony's past. I thought it would be interesting to have the Tony we know start off as this quiet child who misses his mom.
> 
> The musical moment between Tony and Jack was partially inspired by my family, who is very musical, and often has impromptu sing-alongs.
> 
> I loved writing the Janto smut! Figured it was overdue. ;) And, of course, Ianto's reassurances to Jack, I thought, needed to be said.
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey


	9. Legacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice that I spell "magick" with a "k" in this chapter. This is not an error. It is commonly spelled this way among witches. Indeed, there is a difference between "magick" and "magic". "Magic" is illusions, used for entertainment purposes, such as what you would see a magician do. "Magick" as witches use it is used to help manifest real change in a person's life. As I mention in this chapter, a "spell" is really the same thing as a prayer. Sometimes witches will use tools, such as candles and stones, in their spell work. But it's really not as strange as many people might believe it to be.
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey

"Abs...Abs, I know." Gibbs rubbed his forehead, trying to be patient and polite with Abby on the phone, while Abby was just being...trying. "Abby, it's not my fault you got called into work on a Sunday...Yes, I'll call you when we know... All right...I'm turning off my phone now." With that, Gibbs put his phone on silent, shoving it into his pocket.

Gibbs walked back into the bedroom, where Owen was telling Jack how to use the doppler on Tony. Since Ducky and Palmer couldn't be there to help out with Tony's ultrasound, Jack volunteered to do the honors.

"Abby again?" Tony asked, already suspecting the answer.

"Yep."Gibbs grinned, sitting down on the bed next to where Tony lie. Gazing down at his lover, he silently believed that this quiet gathering was for the best. They were about to learn the sex of the baby, and even though it was exciting, Gibbs sensed that Tony had recently become stressed and upset by Abby's intense personality. He was easily overwhelmed lately. For these reasons, Gibbs felt that just having Jack, Ianto, Owen and Tosh present was for the best. They had all proven to be calming presences, which was what Tony needed.

"Ready when you are," Owen said, standing at the machine.

Tony lifted his shirt, exposing his swollen stomach, then reached for the firm hand of his lover beside him.

"Okay, Tony. You know the drill," Jack said with a wink, squirting the gel onto Tony's tummy and running the doppler over it.

As they stared at the screen, Gibbs felt his heart catch in his throat as his saw the tiny life moving around. It was already starting to look like a baby, and he couldn't help remembering the first time he had seen Kelly's blurry form in the same kind of image years ago. Suddenly, everything felt so much more real. Looking down at Tony, Gibbs saw the younger man tear up, overwhelmed by the miracle. Jack appeared on the verge of crying himself, glancing up at the image of his great grandchild.

Owen looked over with a knowing smirk.

"Congratulations! It's a girl!" he declared.

Exchanging tearful glances, Tony and Gibbs shared a lingering kiss. Jack's eyes glistened with tears, and Ianto smiled, squeezing Jack's free arm supportively. Tosh clapped her hand over her mouth, supressing a squeal of delight.

"All right, Harkness. Keep that doppler on you grandson's tummy, and I'll explain how I can tell it's a girl," Owen said, trying to sound strict. But he was just as excited as everyone else.

After the ultrasound was over, everyone cleared out of the room, leaving only Tony and Gibbs. It wasn't long before Tony fell asleep, and Gibbs couldn't help but to admire the gorgeous man carrying his child.

The hormone shots had the pleasant effect of giving Tony beautifully soft, touchable skin. He really was glowing. Absolutely glowing!

The more Gibbs thought about it, the more he appreciated all that Tony was giving of himself for their child. It hadn't been easy, but he had finally come to accept that, because he's not a woman, he can't expect his pregnancy to be like a female pregnancy. He wasn't designed to carry a child, and doing so required everything of him, leaving him with little strength. The weakness hadn't passed. In fact, he only seemed to get weaker the farther along he got. And it was clear that, in spite of the undeniably positive effects of the therapy offered by Ducky and Owen, he often felt emotionally vulnerable and naked without medication to offer him stability. But he was determined to do whatever it took for his child. Dutifully enduring the daily injections, eating better and even coming to terms with his changing body.

Always devoted. Always loyal. Gibbs wondered how he could be so lucky. Placing a hand lovingly on Tony's belly, Gibbs silently swore that he, in turn, would devote the rest of his life to protecting Tony and their daughter.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Tony wheeled himself into the bedroom, resisting the urge to slam the door. He didn't even bother turning on the lights. He just wanted to be alone. He wanted it quiet.

Once Tony's former colleagues had finished work, they all decided to come over. The news that he and Gibbs were having a daughter led to the inevitable questions:

Had they picked a name yet?

Isn't it interesting that two men could end up having a daughter together?

Could they have copies of the ultrasound photos?

It's not that Tony didn't appreciate them making time for him. He really did! He was glad that Ducky had chosen to move into the house during his pregnancy to help out. And he'd actually grown closer to McGee and Palmer. They had been surprisingly supportive.

Abby... well, Abby was Abby. She meant well. Tony knew this. But she was just too much for him sometimes. So hyperactive and overbearing. She couldn't grasp the simple concept of giving him personal space. If Gibbs hadn't stopped her, he had no doubt she would have followed him to the bedroom and clung to him like a limpet. And she was the main reason he wanted to be alone. He wasn't sure why he was so bothered by her. He used to like her...uniqueness. He found it quirky and amusing. But not anymore.

As for Ziva...no sign of her in months. He wondered why she'd been avoiding him. Maybe she was uncomfortable with his pregnancy. Maybe it freaked her out. That made sense. Most of the time, he felt like a freak.

It was strange. He loved his job! It had been his escape. His family. But now, there was something bittersweet about the memories of his years with NCIS. Something he couldn't place. A sorrow, hidden within joy, that made him want to cry. Something that had been lacking.

Wheeling over to the night stand, Tony opened a drawer and took out the pendant Gibbs had given him. A reminder that, yes, he was loved. He was safe. He was cared for. Holding the pendant to his chest, Tony started crying softly, when he heard Palmer's voice in the doorway.

"Tony? You all right?" the young ME assistant asked, switching on the light.

"Yeah," Tony lied, turning away and hoping Jimmy didn't see him wipe his tears. He was tired of being seen crying. Tired of looking weak and helpless.

"I know you said you need to be alone, but I didn't get a chance to tell you: I got you that cheesecake you wanted. Here." Palmer set the plate of cheesecake and a fork on Tony's night stand. "I brought you a slice."

"Thanks," Tony almost whispered, setting down the pendant and picking up the plate and fork.

"Nice pendant," Palmer observed, head tilting slightly as he observed the design. "Although it looks more like something designed for a woman."

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I tend to do a lot of things usually designed for women," Tony replied with a hint of sarcasm.

"I didn't mean to criticize," Palmer defended himself . "I just never would have taken you for a follower of Bast."

"What?" Tony asked through a mouthful of cheesecake.

"Bast. The Egyptian cat goddess. I dated a witch in college, and Bast was one of her primary goddesses," Palmer explained.

"The pendant was a gift from Jethro," Tony clarified. "I don't know anything about Bast."

"She represents love, sex, fertility, childbirth, music -"

"W-wait! Did you just say 'fertility and childbirth'?" Tony asked, dropping his fork onto the plate.

Palmer nodded. "That's right."

"Oh wow..." Tony believed he was starting to piece things together. They had spent plenty of time over the last few months trying to figure out what could have possibily triggered his pregnancy. But it would have never ever occured to him that it would be something as innocuous as the pendant. "Tell Jethro I need to see him...please?"

"Sure," Palmer nodded, slowly walking out of the room.

"Hey," Tony called once Palmer was at the doorway.

Palmer turned around. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for the cheesecakes and...just everything," Tony said softly.

"No problem. That's what friends are for," Palmer smiled, before hurrying to get Gibbs.

※

Gibbs walked in, taking a seat on the bed, watching fondly as Tony finished up his cheesecake. "Everything all right?"

"I...I think I may have found a lead on our case," Tony said, setting down his plate.

Gibbs raised a quizzical eyebrow. "We have a case?"

"Yeah," said Tony with a wink, pointing at his belly. "And it's getting bigger and bigger with every passing day."

"Oh, that case," Gibbs chuckled.

Tony picked up the pendant and held it up to Gibbs. "What did Shannon tell you about this?"

"Like I said, family heirloom," Gibbs answered with a shrug. Passed down for generations in her family. Always given to the eldest daughter on her 18th birthday. We were saving it for Kelly, but..."

Gibbs' voice trailed off, and he took hold of Tony's hand, pushing away the sadness which was threatening to overwhelm him and focusing instead on the beautiful man in front of him and the daughter he was pregnant with. Another chance. And he'd get it right this time.

"Do you know who the engraving on the pendant is of?" Tony asked, his thumbs running over the image.

Gibbs shook his head. "Nope."

"Bast," Tony told him. "From what Palmer told me earlier, an Egyptian goddess of, among other things, love, sex, fertility and child birth.

"And you think..."

"It's just an idea, but I think it merits further investigation. Don't you?"

Gibbs sat in silence for a moment, looking thoughtful before speaking up again.

"Yeah," he said thoughtfully, standing up and kissing Tony on the top of his head. "It probably does. I'll send the others home, and we'll figure this out together," he promised.

Did Shannon's family history tie into Tony's pregnancy? Somehow, the thought was comforting to Gibbs. And with Torchwood's help, he was confident they would get the answers they needed.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"Oh, this is gorgeous! Absolutely exquisite!" Tosh gushed, examining the pendant from where she sat on the couch. Handing it back to Tony, she turned her attention to her laptop, ready to delve into the history of the heirloom. A list of Shannon's maternal ascendants, as far back as Gibbs could remember, was written on a piece of paper next to the laptop.

"Jethro, were you aware that there might be a possible history of witchcraft in Shannon's family?" Tosh asked.

Gibbs shook his head, both he and Tony looking a little uncertain. The mere idea that Shannon could have been involved in witchcraft seemed so far fetched.

"Well, before I begin, I should tell you that it's probably nothing to worry about," Tosh hurried to assure them, as if reading their thoughts. "What many people believe about witches is based on ignorance, misinformation and stereotypes. Most witches are not evil. They won't put curses on you or turn you into toads. They are spiritual people who value all life. In fact, one of the main rules they live by is 'harm none'. I'm telling you this to reassure you. From what you say, Shannon sounds like she was a lovely person! Coming from a family of witches won't change that at all!"

Gibbs and Tony looked at each other and nodded. A silent sign of acceptance at what they had been told.

"So, no Rosemary's Baby?" Tony joked

Tosh softly smiled at him and shook her head.

"As far as I know, there is no reason to believe in a fiendish influence at work here. There are definitely some magickal elements, that's for sure, but nothing negative nor dangerous."

Focusing on her task, it took Tosh awhile to get any useful information. During that time, Jack entertained Tony, Gibbs and Ducky with stories of his travels with the Doctor. Tony, in particular, held on to Jack's every word with a child-like wonder.

"All right! I've got something!" Tosh spoke up to get their attention, and the men all turned to her expectantly.

"Unfortunately, due to the ignorance I spoke of earlier, many witches choose to practice in private, for fear of their own safety. There's not much in the way of public record. However, I was able to trace the origin of the pendant. It was crafted in 1808, for Mrs. Mary O'Rourke, a seamstress from Boston, as a wedding present for her daughter, Sara. You might also find it of interest that Sara herself was a gifted artist and, upon her death, paintings of the goddesses Bast, Brigid and Hecate were found in her studio. Even Shannon's great grandmother Mildred crafted her own spell candles - think of a spell as a prayer, which is really what it is. The glass cases for these candles contained drawings of different goddesses, meant to invoke their various aspects."

Tosh took a breath. "In conclusion, though the information is spotty, I think it's safe to say that Shannon came from a family of eclectic witches. That is to say, witches who follow varying traditions. Egyptian, Celtic, Greek, and so on."

Tosh looked at Gibbs.

"If you were unaware of this history, it's possible that some of these practices have faded over time. But some traditions remain. Whether or not Shannon or her mother knew, that pendant was meant to invoke the goddess Bast. I suspect there is a lot of loving energy and good intentions attached to it."

"So, do you think the pendant had anything to do with me getting pregnant?" Tony asked. "I was wearing it the first time we... well...you know."

Tosh nodded in understanding, sparing Tony the trouble to having to elaborate.

"Yes, I think it probably did," she replied. "I'm sorry this is all the information I could find. But, from what we now know, I suspect there is some very powerful magick attached to that pendant."

"It's weird," Tony observed. "Not long ago, I would have dismissed this as New Age twaddles. But now? It's easy for me accept it as true."

"I know what you mean," Jack agreed. "Until recently, I dismissed anything of a spiritual or metaphysical nature as foolish superstition or alien activity in disguise. But I, too, have changed my perspective."

He cast a glance Ianto's way, and the pair exchanged knowing smiles.

As Gibbs reached for Tony's hand, the younger man suddenly yelped in surprise.

"What's wrong?" Gibbs asked, finally taking hold of Tony's hand. "You all right?"

Laughing breathlessly, Tony gave a wide eyed smile.

"I think the baby just kicked!"

Soon, everyone was gathered round Tony, excitedly chattering.

Gibbs placed his hand on Tony's belly, hoping he might feel a kick.

"Hey, sweet girl," he cooed. "This is your daddy. I want you to know that you are a very special girl, and you come from a very special family. And we all love you very much."

Gibbs was rewarded with a flutter beneath his hand. He looked up at Tony, who gave a wide eyed gasp. A reminder that, for all Tony had to endure for this baby, it was more than worth it!

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Ziva wasn't proud of herself. She knew that her reasons for not seeing, or even asking about Tony were childish and selfish, and she didn't even know why she felt the way she did.

She had never given much thought to settling down and having kids. She wasn't opposed to it. It just hadn't been a priority.

If asked, she would have denied it outright, but the truth was that as long as Tony had been as solitary and sentimentally inadequate as her, she had felt somehow normal. Whenever she came under the impression that her life style could be a failure, all she had had to do was to watch Tony goofing around and flitting from one girl to another to immediately feel reassured and "normal" again. She might be a misfit, but at least, she wasn't the only one and it was a sort of consolation.

But when her coworker - her very male coworker - suddenly ended up romantically involved with their boss and mentor, then pregnant with the said boss' child, jealousy got the better of her. Why did he get to be a mother? Why did he get the love of a good man, who would cherish and take care of him?

And yet she still wasn't even sure she wanted kids herself. She certainly didn't want to be with a much older man like Gibbs. But for some reason, the fact that Tony was about to become a parent, and she might never get that chance, really bothered her.

Ziva wanted to be happy for Tony and Gibbs. They obviously loved each other very much, and she didn't doubt they would both be good parents. She knew what a gift it was for Gibbs to have another chance at being a father. She also knew that the very fact that Tony was willing to put his body through this pregnancy was a good indication that he would be a loving, devoted parent.

It was just envy. Plain and simple. Envy that she wasn't even sure she had any right to feel. In any case, she didn't have the right to take it out on Tony and Gibbs.

Work wasn't even enjoyable anymore. The new temporary agents hired on to replace Gibbs and Tony were not people she would want to know under any circumstances. Never mind that they were replacing two men that, despite what she might have others believe, she was very fond of.

McGee was still friendly with her, but there was a tension. It's not like they could openly discuss Tony's situation at work, especially with the new agents listening in. Gibbs and Tony were off on a "secret mission", after all. But she could see he was disappointed in her. Despite their incessant bickering and teasing over the years. McGee had proven himself to be a loyal friend to Tony throughout his pregnancy.

Abby's disapproval was more blatant. Making a show of ignoring or disregarding Ziva whenever they had to be in a room together.

Abby's moods, Ziva could get used to. That's who Abby was. She didn't like it, but she was used to it.

McGee hurt more. They worked in close proximity, as a team. He was the only part of the team she knew and loved still remaining, and yet there was this wedge between them. A wedge that she had put there.

Despite her childish envy, Ziva was worried about Tony. She hadn't received much news on his status since before Gibbs left, but even then, she knew he was having problems.

Finally putting her selfishness aside, Ziva decided she should see Tony. But would he forgive her for the long absence? Would Gibbs forgive her? More importantly, what state would she find Tony in? She hoped he wasn't suffering too much.

Work complete, she saw McGee stand up and walk to the elevator. It was a little after 8:00. Still not terribly late. Maybe McGee was on his way to see Tony.

"McGee!" Ziva called. "Wait for me!"

McGee turned around expectantly, waiting for Ziva to gather her things and follow him into the elevator.

"Are you going to see Tony?" she asked quietly, once the doors slid closed.

"Yeah," McGee confirmed. "But I'm stopping to pick up a cheesecake for him first. That's his craving." McGee chuckled. "He'd eat an entire cheesecake in a sitting if he was left unsupervised."

Ziva couldn't help but to laugh as well , relieved that Tony's nausea had passed.

"Can I come with you?" she asked after a moment of hesitation just before the doors slid open.

McGee didn't answer immediately and they slowly walked out together in silence until they reached McGee's car.

Turning around to face Ziva, McGee stood there for a moment, looking at her thoughtfully, as if trying to assess her sincerity. Then a friendly smile finally blossomed on his lips.

"Of course you can."

※

Looking out the window, Ziva remembered the last time she'd been in McGee's car; following the Torchwood SUV to the house, until Jack apprehended them. Things were so different then. There was so much they didn't know or understand. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"How is he?" Ziva asked, her concern for Tony evident.

"Doing okay, I guess. Getting bigger." McGee grinned. "He'd kill me for saying this, but the baby bump is kind of adorable on him."

"How far along is he now?"

"Five months," McGee answered. "But he looks farther along then that. I thought it was weird, but Jack and Owen keep reminding us not to think of this as we would a female pregnancy."

"So, does this mean the baby will be born sooner?" Ziva wondered.

"Not according to Jack," McGee replied. "Apparently, he'll just be bigger by the time the baby is born."

"Poor Tony." Ziva laughed in spite of herself. She wasn't laughing out of cruelty. It was more out of sympathetic disbelief. She knew how proud her friend was of his athletic silhouette. Putting on weight was certainly not something he would take well.

"How is he otherwise?"

McGee sighed. "He's very weak. He can't get around on his own anymore. And he's tired all the time, even though he's always sleeping. This pregnancy hasn't been easy on him."

Fully aware of the way she had acted in recent months, Ziva could feel tears forming in her eyes as they pulled into the driveway. Tony was sacrificing so much of himself so selflessly for his child! It was truly admirable. Ziva felt sick to her stomach. Her guilt over her selfish behavior had worsened with this new knowledge.

Parking the car, McGee shot Ziva a smile. "But, on the plus side, his skin looks great!"

Ziva choked out a laugh as the two of them got out of the car and walked up to the house. "You notice that kind of thing?"

"I don't," McGee said with a shrug. "But Abby does. And believe me, she's watching him like an hawk these days. Sometimes, I think she's even worse than Gibbs."

He rang the doorbell and, moments later, Jack answered. Ziva wasn't intimidated by many people. But she couldn't help feeling a bit nervous under Jack's scrutinizing gaze.

"Ziva David. I have to say, I'm surprised to see you here," Jack commented.

"I'm surprised to be here," Ziva admitted awkwardly. "If you wish for me to leave - "

Jack's face softened into a smile. "Why don't we let Tony decide that," he said, ushering them inside.

Jack led them into the living room, where Tony, Gibbs, Ianto, Tosh and Owen were watching a movie. Tony was sitting on the couch, his feet up on an ottoman. A wheelchair, obviously meant for Tony, was parked next to where he sat. Gibbs sat close to Tony, hand massaging the younger man's belly. McGee was right. Tony was already quite large, his baby bump about the size of a basketball.

Tony looked frail, Ziva thought. Tired and frail. She was happy that he had so many people around to help him, because she had totally failed him, and she didn't know if she could ever make it up to him.

"Tony! You have visitors!" Jack called over the blare of the TV.

Ianto hit "mute" on the remote, and everyone turned to look at their guests. Upon seeing Ziva, they froze, staring at her in an uncomfortable silence. Her gaze was focused on Tony, whose face wore a wide eyed, indecipherable expression.

"Tony..." Ziva began sheepishly. "I -"

"Ziva," Tony interrupted her, his voice sounding as worn down as his body looked. For a second she was convinced that he would throw her out as she deserved to be after the way she had acted towards him.

But when Ziva looked up, it was to see Tony's eyes crinkled into a slightly wavering smile. It was far from the big grin she remembered, but it was already more than what she was entitled to expect.

"Come here, you," Tony welcomed, his arms outstretched.

Walking up to Tony, Ziva leaned over, hugging him. Tony's embrace felt so weak, like that of a small child. The hug was also a bit awkward, Ziva having to maneuver around Tony's prominent belly.

"Wow! You're so big!" Ziva exclaimed, before snapping her mouth shut in embarrassment a moment too late.

"Tony, I'm sorry -"

Tony just laughed. "Don't worry about it. I know I'm huge. I'll need my own zip code soon," he joked, patting the giant sphere.

"Nice to see you," Gibbs said softly, taking Ziva by the hand. And with those words, Ziva knew she was forgiven. Though it took some time, she finally came around to supporting them, and that's what's mattered.

In a gesture of friendship and trust, Gibbs placed Ziva's hand on Tony's stomach.

"Meet our daughter," he said. "I'm sure she'll want to say 'hello' soon."

Sure enough, moments later, with her hand sandwiched between the warmth of Gibbs' hand and Tony's tummy, Ziva gasped as she felt a flutter. It was a powerful moment, and she felt herself letting go of her misplaced envy, as she came to appreciate the miracle that had occurred.

With teary eyes, Ziva looked between Tony and Gibbs, and saw how truly happy they were. They had both been through so much hell in their lives, they deserved this miracle.

Looking around at the Torchwood team, Ziva no longer saw them as this strange, suspicious organization. They took Tony in, helping him through his pregnancy. Supporting both Tony and Gibbs all the while. A loving family. A family in which she could find her place.

In that profound moment, Ziva swore that she, too, would be the supportive family they needed during this beautiful, yet uncertain time.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Something was off. Director Vance couldn't put his finger on what exactly, but there was something about the MCRT that was bothering him.

When he had announced the news of Gibbs and DiNozzo's requisition by the secret services, he had prepared himself to have to face a very upset team.

However, once past the initial shock, they had seemed to take the news surprisingly well. As if it wasn't such a big deal, but instead something perfectly normal.

Vance had noticed some kind of tension between Gibbs and David in the weeks before the mission, but he never expected her to react so indifferently to his departure.

McGee had seemed closer to Gibbs recently. And Vance knew he had a kind of brotherly bond with DiNozzo. Despite the teasing that went on between them, they cared for each other. Vance noticed this. There were a lot of things Vance noticed. It was hard to get anything past him, though he sometimes humored people into believing they could.

Vance had especially steeled himself in anticipation of Abby's reaction, but unexpectedly, nothing had happened. And Abby's reaction - or lack thereof - was what really got him suspicious. There were no shrines to the missing agents in her lab. No calendars counting the number of days they'd been gone. Music still blared loudly in the forensic scientist's lab. She was cheerful and efficient, as usual.

None of them had seemed very worried by their colleagues' untimely departure, and it was this unusual lack of reaction which was bugging Vance now.

Leaning over the railing of the gallery, he warily watched them chatting happily while they left the bullpen for the weekend. He pulled his phone out of this pocket and called his wife, informing her that he would be late. Once it was done, he came back to his office, grabbed his keys and briefcase then headed to the garage.

The joke had gone far enough, and he was determined to find out what was going on.


	10. Breathless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been toying with the idea of updating this story a day early on my LiveJournal. If I can get a decent number of followers on my LJ, I might end up making a habit of updating early there. (In case you don't want to wait too long to the next chapter. ;) )  
> I admit my LJ following is pathetically low. The fact that I have no interest in taking part in prompts or challenges probably isn't helping that. (I have no problem with those things. And I've read some very good stories that have come from them. It's just not for me.) But I would still very much like to connect with other writers / reader there.  
> So, if you'd like to get the chance to read upcoming chapters early, follow me on LJ. If I see enough interest to make a habit of posting early there, I will. :)
> 
> http://thepeachymonkey.livejournal.com/
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey

Vance quickly decided it was McGee he would be tailing. Abby was still working in the lab, and he wasn't about to consider following Ziva's car. He wasn't suicidal, after all.

He'd managed to keep a safe distance, going unnoticed, while still keeping sight of McGee's car.

Watching McGee pull into the winding driveway of an old mansion, Vance's eyebrows shot up in curiosity. He knew Ducky's family home wasn't situated in this part of the town, so who the hell could McGee be visiting here? Did it have anything to do with the "secret mission" Gibbs and Tony were supposedly on?

Circling around the block, Vance parked at a safe distance from the house. Once he had walked back to the house, he checked thoroughly for any possible cameras or security systems. A house that nice must have security precautions in place! Surprisingly, after carefully looking for several minutes, he found none. So he made his way to the outer gate and climbed over it, the exercise reminding him of his time as a field agent.

As the shadows of evening crept over the sky, Vance was able to clearly make out McGee and Ziva playing basketball. That in itself was all well and good, except for the fact that they were playing with the man that had called himself "Sean Craig" and claimed to be with MI5, though Vance was now convinced that all of this was nothing more than an elaborate setup.

Also playing were an Asian woman and a lanky dark haired man. But it was when Vance looked off to the side that his suspicions were truly confirmed. Sitting in a wheelchair and acting as referee was Tony. He had clearly gained a considerable amount of weight and was sporting a prominent belly which made him look pregnant. Gibbs sat in a lawn chair next to Tony, holding his hand. Their body language unmistakably indicated an intimate relationship. Vance blinked in disbelief. Gibbs and Tony were a couple? He knew the two men were close, but he would never have imagined they would be that close.

Vance watched for awhile out of curiosity, wondering what exactly had happened to Tony and why his agents were taken here under the guise of an "undercover mission". It was the Director's guess that the two were connected somehow.

After watching in a sort of distracted trance, Vance was pulled back to attention when the lanky man circled one of his opponents and suddenly vanished into thin air. A startled squeak barely escaped his throat when he heard a familiar click and felt the barrel of a gun at his head. Apparently, they had a security system after all. One much less obvious than most.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're too curious for your own good, Director Vance?"

Though he'd only met the man once before, Vance recognized the voice easily.

"'Colonel Christopher Tennant'. If that's even your real name."

"It's not," the man confirmed curtly.

Just then, the supposed MI5 agent approached them.

"Jack! What's going on?"

"Seems the Director of NCIS has trouble minding his own business." The man finally put his gun down as Gibbs came storming over.

"Leon? What the hell are you doing here?" Gibbs asked furiously.

"I could ask you the same thing," Vance pointed out, not for a second appearing to lose his cool in this new and admittedly hostile environment. "Something felt off. I was beginning to question the 'top secret mission' you and DiNozzo were supposedly on. And apparently, my instincts were right."

Vance looked around, not sure what to make of where he was, or what he had seen.

"Who are you people?" he finally asked.

"We're Torchwood."

Vance looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Torchwood doesn't exist. Not anymore."

"You're well informed," Gibbs noted with a suspicious frown.

"You don't come to my position without hearing about certain things. But I have from a very reliable source that Torchwood was dismantled months ago," Vance insisted, glaring.

"Well, seems that ill weeds grow apace," the so-called Colonel Tennant quipped.

A knowing smirk crossed Vance's features. "In that case, I guess that makes you the famous Jack Harkness. I thought you were just a myth."

"Please don't call him that." The man Vance had met along with Jack months ago rolled his eyes." His ego is already big enough."

Vance eyed the young man. "I'm guessing you're not 'Sean Craig'."

The man shook his head, extending his hand to Vance. "Jones. Ianto Jones."

At that point, the Asian woman and the vanishing man approached them as well, and Jack made his introductions.

"Meet the rest of the team. Ms. Toshiko Sato, and our resident ghost, Dr. Owen Harper."

"So you're really a ghost? That wasn't some kind of trick?" Vance asked skeptically, in spite of what he'd seen.

"Get used the unusual, Director. It's what Torchwood is all about," Owen said with a playful grin.

"And what does Torchwood need with my agents?" Vance asked, looking over at Tony, who had stayed behind, and was being watched over by McGee.

"I'm just looking out for my family...and I will do anything to protect them!" Jack said resolutely. "So don't you even think about getting in our way! Because if you do, the kindest thing we would do to you is make you forget...If we're feeling merciful!"

Vance couldn't help but to blink in surprise. 'Family'? Who's your family?" he asked, trying to contain his nerves.

"You're familiar with my story, Director. And you should know that most of what you've heard about me is true. With that in mind..." Jack looked over at Tony, his features softening in loving warmth. "Tony is my grandson."

Vance couldn't have contained his surprise even if he wanted to, his jaw dropping so far, you'd swear he was trying to catch flies. He just stood there for a minute, searching for the right words. There was nothing in DiNozzo's file to suggest that he was somehow related to Torchwood's leader. But at a closer look, Vance couldn't deny a certain physical resemblance between the two men.

"What happened to DiNozzo?" he finally asked.

"Exactly what it looks like," Jack replied, casting a worried glance in Tony's direction.

"But that's..." he stopped himself before saying the word "Impossible".

"May I speak with him?"

Jack hesitated for a moment, then, after a quick glance at Gibbs, finally nodded his agreement. "All right. But go easy on him. If I sense that you're upsetting Tony even in the slightest, you will be dealt with! Considering his condition, you need to tread carefully," he warned.

Vance nodded. "Understood."

The truth was, Vance was too shocked and confused to say anything that could possibly upset Tony. He was just trying to understand what the hell was going on.

※

Back in the house, Jack had allowed Tony and Vance some time to talk alone in the kitchen. Alone, but not privately, as Jack made sure to keep secret video surveillance on them. He wasn't taking any chances.

Once they were settled with cups of herbal tea for both of them, and cheesecake for Tony, Vance looked his agent up and down.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asked, pointing to Tony's belly.

"Well, it's certainly not aerophagia, that's for sure," Tony replied, setting the plate of cheesecake on his stomach and breaking off a piece with his fork.

"But... But, how is it possible?" Vance stammered in disbelief.

"As far as we know, a bit of witchcraft, a touch of 51st century DNA...and a whole lotta Gibbs!" Tony grinned widely. It was clear that he wanted to make the Director uncomfortable.

"This is... impossible," Vance said, once again pointing at Tony's belly. He almost expected the other man to jump out of his wheelchair, pull a cushion out of his shirt and shout "gotcha" to his face.

"I know it looks unbelievable, but it's just one of the many incredible things I've seen since I've met these guys," Tony remarked, as he took a bite of cheesecake, closing his eyes and taking great pleasure in the treat.

"How are you feeling?" Vance asked, once he'd had a moment to collect his thoughts.

"Well, I've never been run over by a bus before, but I imagine it feels a lot like this," Tony answered honestly. "I'm tired, I'm sore, I forgot what my feet look like. But..." Tony's voice trailed off, and he smiled, rubbing his belly. "When I feel this little girl kick, or see the way Jethro looks at me, I remember why I'm putting myself through this."

"I'm a little surprised to hear you talking like this," Vance admitted. He had never known Tony to be this openly sentimental.

"What can I say? Motherhood has changed me." Tony's smile then faded. "I hope you can understand why we had to lie to you."

"I doubt I'd have believed the truth anyway," Vance said with a small chuckle.

"I hope you understand that it's a lot to ask of me to keep your jobs open for you after such a long absence. But I'll see if I can find places for you and Special Agent Gibbs, should you choose to return. And don't worry. I won't let word of your condition get out." With that, Vance stood up, nodding cordially to Tony and walking away.

"Director!" Tony called after him.

"Yeah?"

"Our replacements...how are they doing?" Tony inquired.

"I hate them," Vance smirked. "Everybody does."

"I'm hard to replace, aren't I?" Tony said with his winning grin.

Vance looked Tony up and down. "You're certainly one of a kind."

※

Jackie Vance worriedly observed her husband as he walked through the door. He seemed distracted, concerned, and more than a little shaken up. In short, he just didn't seem himself. As her husband sat down on the couch, holding his head in his hands, Jackie sat beside him, offering her support.

"Leon? What's the matter, baby? What's got you all shaken up?" she asked, putting an arm around him and giving him a squeeze as she kissed him on the cheek. "Did something happen at work?"

Vance didn't say anything for awhile. His eyes were wide and dancing about, as if his mind was trying to process something. He wanted to tell his wife what he had just learned. But how the hell was he going to do that? She would never believe it. Eventually, he decided that a partial truth would have to suffice.

"One of my agents is pregnant," he finally said, sighing heavily.

Jackie's face brightened into a smile. "Well, this is good news! Isn't it?"

"I'm not so sure," Vance said, staring into his lap.

"What's the problem?" Jackie asked. "Am I to assume that the pregnancy is unplanned?"

Vance laughed joylessly. "You could say that. And the mother has some...special conditions."

At that, he had Jackie's full attention.

"What kind of conditions? Is she in any danger?"

Vance knew that the truth was not an option. He had stayed out, away from home, late at night. If he told her that the pregnant agent in question was a man, not only would she never believe him. Her mind would likely draw the worst kinds of conclusions about his whereabouts.

"There's no need to concern yourself with it," he finally said, smiling at Jackie and trying to look calm and unconcerned. "The situation is under control," he added, standing up.

"What do you mean, 'under control'?" Jackie grabbed his arm, gently pulling him back down onto the couch with her. "Leon, something about this is bothering you. I can tell!"

Vance shook his head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me!"

Clenching his fists, Vance steeled himself. This wasn't going to end well. He knew it!

"The mother...is Special Agent DiNozzo."

Jackie jolted back. "Special Agent DiNozzo? As in Tony DiNozzo?" she asked, wanting to make sure she hadn't heard incorrectly.

"Yeah," Vance confirmed, preparing himself for the oncoming fight. "You see why I didn't want you tell you? I knew you would never believe it. I'm still trying to process this news myself."

Jackie crossed her arms, studying her husband's face for a moment.

"Yeah, it's pretty unbelievable, and certainly the worst cock-and-bull story I have ever heard," she agreed. "But I don't see why you would serve me such a so pitiful fib. I've never seen you this rattled before. That can't be faked! I don't know how it could happen, but I believe you when you tell me that Tony is pregnant." She pulled her husband in for a hug. "You're an honest man, Leon. It's what I love most about you."

Vance let out a big breath, relief washing over him. Count on women to surprise you when you least expect it.

"How is he doing?" Jackie asked, now that her husband felt he had the freedom to openly discuss the situation with her.

"From what I could see, he's very weak, and he confirmed as much. He's on bed rest, and confined to a wheelchair when he's out of bed. He's not the lively agent I remember. You would think I'd be happy about that. DiNozzo could be a real pain in my ass. But I almost felt bad for him."

Jackie nodded. "Bed rest is hard. I remember." She paused, her mind forming a plan.

"I want to see him!"

"That's a bad idea," Vance warned, shaking his head. "The entire situation is complex, to put it nicely."

But Jackie was insistent. "I know all about difficult pregnancies. I know what it's like to be on bed rest. You know this! I think that right now, Tony needs someone who understands what he's going through. I want to help him out!"

Vance couldn't hold back the smirk that crossed his lips. "You've made up your mind on this, haven't you?"

Jackie nodded, her lips pursed in determination. "If Tony decides he doesn't want my help, I'll leave him alone. But I want him to know that he has my support if he wants it."

"All right," Vance reluctantly gave in. "If you can make arrangements for the kids, I'll clear some time in my schedule."

Gazing into Jackie's kind eyes, Vance was reminded why he loved her so much. Her kindness, selflessness and empathy were part of her beauty. And in this case, could very well get them in trouble.

Things were about to get even more interesting.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Gibbs took in the vision of the naked man beneath him.

Tony's skin, soft and glowing, with only a smidge of hormone induced acne on his face. Not enough to spoil his beautiful features.

Brilliant green eyes, staring up at Gibbs, wide and vulnerable.

Plump, pouty lips, practically begging to be kissed.

Tony's chest hair had been growing in thinner and lighter, and was now more of a soft down. The change allowed for a better view of Tony's nipples; red, hard and slightly swollen.

And then there was Tony's stomach; large and filled with life. A life Gibbs himself had filled him with.

Gibbs had no idea why he was so turned on by Tony's pregnant form. But the very sight of Tony's rounded abdomen - his belly button already popped from an "innie" to an "outie" - made Gibbs' cock hard and erect.

Massaging the huge sphere, Gibbs kissed and caressed every last inch of it, his hands travelling down to Tony's thighs, kneading the tender flesh. Readying Tony for what was to come.

Both men were thankful that the sex ban had been lifted. They ached for each other's bodies. An ache that simply sharing the same bed couldn't satisfy.

Gibbs gently rolled Tony onto his side, then went to place himself behind him, raining soft kisses over his shoulder. He slowly slipped a hand between Tony's legs, running his fingers between his cheeks while his other arm wrapped itself around his waist.

Sneaking a lubed finger into Tony's hole, which had been neglected for far too long, Gibbs stretched the puckered opening. Adding a second finger, the digits scissored within Tony, before plunging in deeper, putting gentle pressure on his prostate and eliciting a strangled moan from the younger man.

Tony attempted to arch his back, but Gibbs' arm tightened around his waist, preventing the desired movement. So he simply wriggled; gasps, moans and wordless screams escaping him, intensifying as the third finger joined the dance; stretching him further; pleasuring him deeper.

Cries of loss as the fingers were withdrawn turned to squeals of anticipation as Gibbs nudged the tip of his member into Tony's hole.

Slowly easing in, Gibbs, felt the tight muscle close around him, sensually hugging and tugging at his cock.

Tony's own member stood at attention, going ignored as Gibbs plundered his hole faster and faster, deeper and deeper, pleasuring his prostate until he was reduced to a quivering puddle in Gibbs' arms..

Digging his nails into Tony's hips, Gibbs thrust them backward with each gyration, while his other hand was lovingly caressing Tony's round belly. Gibbs' grunts and Tony's moans, gasps and whimpers created sweet music, sending both men over the edge in unison; Gibbs spilling his seed into Tony; Tony losing control of his own erection, cum spurting into the air, splashing the sheets and his stomach.

Giving a few extra thrusts, Gibbs stayed inside Tony for a minute, his hand going down to stroke his thighs. Thighs that had grown plumper from pregnancy and cheesecake, but so beautifully soft. Tony wore pregnancy well, Gibbs thought, sliding himself out of the submissive form in front of him.

Rolling Tony onto his back once again, Gibbs hungrily eyed the cum on his stomach. Leaning in, he lapped it up; swirling circles and patterns with his tongue; paying special attention to Tony's protruding belly button. The action seemed to please Tony, who fisted the sheets, letting out guttural moans.

Once Tony was clean, Gibbs rolled him back onto his side, lying down beside the younger man, who was positioning the pregnancy pillow between his arms and knees.

"I love you, beautiful," Gibbs whispered, sucking at Tony's ear lobe.

"Oh Jethro..." Tony moaned.

Circling his arm around Tony's stomach, Gibbs thrust himself into the his backside.

"Jethro..."

"Mmm...yeah?" Gibbs was still coming down from his high.

"Jethro. Wake up."

Gibbs' eyes snapped open to see Tony lying on his side, his back to Gibbs, clutching at the pregnancy pillow.

"What?" Gibbs asked sleepily.

"Sorry to wake you. Sounded like a pretty good dream." The knowing smirk was audible in Tony's voice.

"What do you need?"

"I have to go to the bathroom. Gonna wet myself if I don't go soon," Tony said apologetically.

"All right. I'll help you." Gibbs knew the urgency of the situation. Just the day before, a sneeze caused Tony to pee his pants.

Sitting up, Gibbs got ready to help Tony out with one of the least sexy aspects of pregnancy. And after such a sexy dream, too.

It seemed the ban was still in place.

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"You're a dirty little liar, Ianto Jones," Tony told the Welshman, closing his eyes and breathing in the aroma from his cup of coffee before taking a pleasurable sip. "There's no way this heavenly brew is decaf!"

"Thank you for the compliment, but I can assure you, it is," Ianto promised with a gracious bow.

"Ianto is a wizard with a cup of coffee," Jack praised his lover. Coffee in one hand, he wrapped his free arm around Ianto's waist. "And he looks great in a suit," he added with a wink, before whispering something to Ianto that made the younger man blush.

"You really do, Ianto," Tony agreed. "Always so stylish and dapper in your suits. I admire that. I miss being able to wear suits..."

Tony sighed, resting his hands and arms on his belly. It wasn't just suits. He missed wearing anything nice at all. Ever since he'd started gaining baby weight, Gibbs had him in t-shirts and sweatpants. Tony understood it was a simple solution. They didn't exactly make maternity wear for men. But, with his changing, ever growing body, Tony already felt unattractive. Not being able to even dress nicely only served to make those feelings worse. He even started to wonder if he'd ever be able to wear his favorite pair of jeans again.

Feeling everyone's gaze on him, Tony quickly changed the subject.

"So...Vance knows now. This changes things."

"It might be for the best", Tosh posited. "It will certainly make things easier for your friends. I think that the secrecy was driving Abby mad."

Gibbs put a steadying hand on Tony's arm, as the pregnant man grimaced at the name.

"You didn't tell the director about my...other condition, did you?" Tony asked, referring to his mental health issues. He knew that Vance learning of his problems could cost him his job.

"Of course not," Jack said gently, sitting down across from Tony. "It's not my place to tell him."

"Hey guys!" Abby called loudly, interrupting the quiet conversation as she entered the kitchen with a box of donuts and set it on the table.

Tony rolled his eyes before closing them, trying to keep his temper in check. His throat had been bothering him, and he wouldn't want to make it worse by hollering at Abby.

"Breakfast for my friends," Abby continued. "And for our little baby girl, too," she cooed, touching her hands all around Tony's belly.

On reflex, Tony swatted the hands away. What right did she have touching him like that? And the baby was nobody's but his and Jethro's. He couldn't help the glare he shot her way, and he didn't care that she looked hurt by it.

Sensing the tension, Jack stepped it.

"It's a beautiful morning, Tony. What do you say we go out to the garden?" he asked, grabbing the back of Tony's wheelchair and pulling him away from the table without waiting for him to answer.

"Sure," Tony said agreeably, still glaring at Abby. "I could use the fresh air."

Watching Jack wheel Tony away, Abby turned her sad eyes to Gibbs.

"Is Tony mad at me?" she asked him. "He's been...weird with me lately. But I didn't do anything!"

"I can't speak for him," Gibbs said simply.

"Well...has he said anything to you?"

Gibbs shook his head.

"Maybe I should talk to him," Abby decided, standing up.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Gibbs warned, effectively causing Abby to sit back down. "He's going through a lot right now. Don't push him. You need to give him space."

Abby crossed her arms and pursed her lips. Of course she wasn't just going to let this go. She had done something to make her friend angry, and she needed to figure out what. She couldn't stand it when people were mad at her, and there was no way she could sit on her butt and wait for things to settle down.

※

Sighing, Tony tried to find a comfortable position to rest in. This was getting harder the bigger he got.

Only noon, and he was already wiped out. It was just as well, he thought. By the time he woke up, maybe Abby would be gone.

Attempting to take a deep breath, Tony struggled with the heaviness in his chest. He had heard that shortness of breath was common in pregnancy. Just something he would need to learn to live with for awhile, he figured. Maybe he could do some of the respiratory exercices he had learned from Brad after he'd had the plague. It would certainly help.

Lifting his shirt, Tony scratched at his stomach. It had been itching like mad, and he nearly scratched the skin raw. Another annoying aspect of pregnancy.

"Tony?"

Tony scowled, pulling down his shirt. Facing the door, there was no way for him to feign sleep as Abby entered uninvited.

"What do you want?" Tony grumbled.

"I want to know what I did wrong," Abby told him. "I want to know why you're so mad at me. Lately, it feels like you don't want me around."

"Yeah? Well, I...don't right now, Abby. I'm trying to...get some sleep," Tony said irritably. "You knew...this, and yet...you snuck in here...hoping to..." Tony paused, struggling through a few breathes. Talking made breathing more difficult.

"Hoping to catch me...alone," he finished. "Can't...you take a hint? I don't want you near...me."

"But Tony, I just - ", Abby reached out, her hand once again making contact with his belly.

"Hey," Tony swatted her hand away weakly. "My body is not...not public property. You do not...touch without my permission. Got it?"

Abby froze, her expression turning to a mix of hurt and cold anger. "I don't know what your problem is, but you need to stop taking it out on me! You're 'situation'? Not my fault! I had nothing to do with you becoming... THAT!" she exploded, gesturing emphatically at Tony's body and almost spitting her last word.

Tony winced, hurt and sadness stinging his heart. He clearly remembered Abby insisting he wasn't a freak back when he first learned he was pregnant. But anger makes people honest and her tone didn't leave anything to interpretation. This was how she really saw him. A confirmation of his own insecurities. This was what he was now. A freak.

"Get out," Tony ordered through gritted teeth.

"No, Tony! I -"

"You heard him, Abs," Gibbs cut her off from where he stood in the doorway. "Go."

Abby turned to look at Gibbs. His eyes were cold, filled with disappointment and barely contained anger. She had gone against his wishes, confronting Tony, despite being warned not to. It was a mistake and she knew it too well.

She had no defense, so she just turned around and brushed passed him.

"He's such a drama queen, " she muttered on her way out.

Ignoring Abby's disparaging comment, Gibbs laid down behind Tony without a word, circling his arm around Tony's stomach and massaging it gently.

Unsure of what you say, he just stayed with Tony, allowing the man he loved to cry in his arms.

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Tony rubbed his eyes sleepily, the need to use the bathroom overpowering the need to sleep.

"Jethro?" he grunted, reaching back to feel for his lover, only to find himself alone in the bed. He then remembered that Gibbs had offered his services to the Torchwood team to track down some alien in Rock Creek Park and left with Jack, Owen and Tosh a couple of hours before. He grabbed his cell phone on the nightstand and dialed Ianto's number, but after half a dozen rings, it went straight to voice mail. Tony sighed. He couldn't wait any longer, so it looked like he would need to do this on his own.

Tony struggled to sit up. Usually, he had Gibbs to help him out with that. The belly was already a hindrance to free movement.

Once Tony was finally upright, he stood up slowly and carefully, then waddled over to his wheelchair. Then he wheeled out of the bedroom, making his way to the bathroom.

Using his arms to operate the wheelchair proved to be too much for Tony. In recent weeks, he always had somebody to push it for him. But he couldn't wait around for someone to help him. The situation was urgent.

After going forward a few more feet, Tony had to stop again. The tightness in his throat and heaviness in his chest had become worse with the exertion, causing a fit of coughs.

Feeling dizzy and in complete agony as he coughed, Tony suddenly found himself wet. Not only that, he was sitting in something. Tony felt his body heat up with shame as the realization hit him; he had soiled himself.

"Help..." Tony croaked out softly. "Somebody help me..."

Tony was once again overcome by a new fit of coughing. Without realizing it, his body shifted uneasily, slowly inching itself forward, his giant belly leading the way. Before he knew it, he found himself on the floor, flat on his back.

Looking and feeling a bit like a a turtle on it's back, Tony found himself in a state of panic. Feeling scared, alone, helpless and ashamed, he couldn't help but to weep loudly.

It only took a minute for Ianto to come running from the laundry at the other end of house. Looking down at the pregnant man on the floor, eyes red rimmed and filled with tears, Ianto's heart went out to him. How could a man who was so very big look so scared and small?

As Ianto placed a hand under Tony's head to help him up, he felt a substance in the older man's hair; feces. Noting the brown streak on the wheelchair, the Welshman guessed that the shit had gotten into Tony's hair as he slid from the chair.

"I didn't...make it...in time," Tony stated, shaking and intermittently sobbing and coughing.

"I can see that. No worries. I'll help you,", Ianto said, trying to keep his tone comforting.

"I'm sorry... It's so...disgusting..." Tony lamented.

Ianto gently smiled at him.

"Don't worry. Cleaning the nest of a pterodactyl tends to help you to put things in perspective. Trust me."

※

Tony felt absolutely overwhelmed with shame. Not only because he was naked as the day he was born, feeling as weak as the child in his womb and being cleaned in intimate places by his grandfather's lover. But also because he couldn't make himself stop crying about his predicament.

"Hey. It's all right, Tony," Ianto soothed, as he finished washing Tony's backside and eased him down into his shower chair, before placing a towel over his crotch in an attempt to protect his manhandled modesty. Ianto himself was wearing swim trunks, to avoid making the situation even more awkward.

"You know, you're not the first man I've had to bathe," Ianto said, once Tony's sobs had quieted.

"I...don't want to know...about...what you do...with Jack," Tony sniffled.

"No," Ianto chuckled loudly. "It wasn't Jack. About two years back, Owen was temporarily paralyzed by some alien venom. He stayed that way for about a day, and it was my job to clean up after him. With Jack and myself being the only other men on the team...let's just say Owen didn't want to deal with Jack's commentary."

The story managed to get a small laugh out of Tony. He already knew Jack could often be wildly inappropriate. Fortunately for him, as Jack's grandson, he was spared, for the most part.

"The difference? I'm a...lot heavier. I'm...a little...worried you might... throw out your...back hauling my fat...ass around." Tony phrased it as a joke. But Ianto could tell the poor man had almost no self confidence left.

"Oh, believe me, I've hauled heavier," Ianto said, grabbing the shower head and rinsing off Tony.

"All right. All clean," Ianto turned off the shower, grabbing another towel to dry off Tony. "Don't worry about your wheelchair. I'll clean it up once I get you settled.

"I...don't think I'm...strong...enough to walk," Tony said, his voice tinged with worry.

"Relax. I'll help you," Ianto assured him.

※

Ianto took a breath, cracking his back. He would never admit it to Tony, but it really was hard supporting his weight. While Tony could walk - or waddle - with assistance, he needed a lot of assistance! The wheelchair really had become a necessity! The man felt as heavy as he looked!

Smiling through the aches in his muscles, Ianto walked into Tony's room, setting a large bag down on the bed.

Tony was sitting up, his upper body supported by the headboard, still only covered by a towel wisely wrapped around his hips, glistening from the shower.

"All right. Let's get you dressed." Ianto held up a pair of boxers, sliding them up Tony's legs and over his bottom. Tony was too big to bend over, and couldn't do it himself.

Ianto then surprised Tony by reaching into the bag and taking out a light green two piece silk pajama set.

"Those are some pretty decadent threads," Tony observed appreciatively. "Where did they come from?"

"I bought them for you," Ianto said casually, helping Tony into the pants. "I felt you deserved some nice things to wear.

"Wait a...minute...did you...say 'things'? As in plural?"

"I did." Ianto grinned. I got you a couple more pajama sets, and also several jumpers and slacks, in varying sizes to accommodate your growing body.

Tony sighed as Ianto helped him into the shirt. At six months pregnant, he looked more like he was nine months. The scary thing was, he knew he was going to get bigger.

"Thanks, Ianto," Tony said appreciatively. "But why would you do that for me?"

"Because you're Jack's family," Ianto explained. "More importantly, I like to think that you're my friend. It pains me to see a handsome fellow such as yourself feeling so poorly about your appearance."

"You noticed, huh?" Tony asked, feeling a little badly that he'd drawn that kind of attention to himself.

"It's my job to notice everything," Ianto joked, winking as he helped Tony to lie back down. "Get some sleep. I'll clean up your wheelchair, and have Jethro come to see you when he gets back."

Tony didn't know what to say. He didn't want to get all sappy and sentimental, but he was feeling very touched. Ianto had become a good friend, and the two men had grown to share a very special bond. The Welshman was so kind and thoughtful, anticipating Tony's needs, and being sensitive to the feelings Tony didn't even know he was expressing. It was the first time Tony had ever had a friendship like this, and he wished he could properly express his gratitude to the younger man.

"Ianto, I don't know...how to thank..." Tony began.

"Please don't mention it," Ianto said easily, striding over to the doorway and clicking off the light. "Goodnight, Tony."

"Good night."

Standing outside the door, Ianto tried to keep his composure. As he said to Tony, he noticed a lot of things other people usually failed to see, and that also included Tony's increased breathlessness. It might be nothing, but it made him uneasy. He would have to see to it that Tony was examined by Owen and Ducky first thing in the morning.

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Gibbs awoke to the sound of the man beside him coughing. It was a familiar cough. One he hadn't heard in a few years, and it made his gut churn in the worst kind of way. This was a cough reminiscent of when Tony had the plague.

"Tony." Gibbs ran his hand soothingly up and down his lover's arm. "You all right?"

Gibbs was sure Tony couldn't hear the softly spoken question over his loud coughing, but he didn't want to raise his voice and potentially upset the younger man.

"Sorry," Tony said between ragged breaths after the coughing had finally stopped. "You...were sleeping...I -"

"Shh...It's okay, Tony," Gibbs soothed, clicking on the beside lamp before he helped Tony to sit up. "You're more important than sleep."

Tony smiled weakly at Gibbs' words. His breathing was starting to become more even; the deep red fading from his face. "My hero," he joked in a raspy voice.

Gibbs gave a short chuckle. Now that things appeared to have calmed down, he was really able to look Tony over, and noticed the new green silk pajamas he was wearing. He looked good in them, Gibbs thought. They brought out the sparkle in his green eyes well. Though at the moment, that sparkle seemed somewhat faded.

"Nice pajamas!" Gibbs commented, and he couldn't resist rubbing Tony's belly. The soft silk over the large, life filled ball was just too tempting.

"Thanks," Tony said, running a bit of the silk between his index finger and thumb. "They... were a gift...from Ianto. He gave them...to me when..." Tony's voice trailed off, too embarrassed to recount what had happened earlier that night."

"Yeah. Ianto told me," Gibbs said, sparing Tony the need to say any more.

"Could you get..."Tony took a few labored breaths, clutching at his chest as he did so. "...me some...water?"

"Sure thing." Gibbs gave Tony a kiss on the cheek as he stood, not taking his eyes off of him as he made his way from the bed to the door.

Pouring a glass of water for Tony, Gibbs debated whether or not to get Owen and wake Ducky. Tony had improved a little since his coughing spell, but Gibbs still found it worrisome. Tony couldn't even speak a complete sentence without stopping to take a breath, and as much as he brushed it off as if it was nothing, Gibbs didn't want to take any chances. It was best, Gibbs decided, that he summon the doctors once Tony finished his drink.

Walking back into the bedroom, Gibbs found Tony with his eyes closed, breathing heavily through his nose. As Gibbs sat down beside him, green eyes opened half lidded.

"Thanks." Tony reached out for the glass with trembling hands. There was no way he'd be able to hold it.

"I got it," Gibbs said, giving Tony a small sip of water.

Tony coughed when the liquid hit his throat, dribbling it all over himself.

"S-sorry...about..." Tony paused to take a few more labored breaths. "Not feeling r-right...for days...Thought it..." More coughing. "w-would...pass..."

Tony's eyes had become glassy. His body slumped down in the bed, and it appeared he was starting to slip out of awareness.

Inwardly, Gibbs was panicking. If Tony hadn't been feeling well for days, why didn't he say anything? Why did he hide it from him? It had only been in the last day that his shortness of breath had become noticeable. And until that very night, he just seemed more tired than anything else.

Grabbing Tony's head between his hands, Gibbs tried to get the his partner to focus on his face. "Tony,Tony, stay with me. Don't go back to sleep. I'm gonna get Owen to check on you. Tony, speak to me. If you weren't feeling well, why didn't you say something?"

With a faint, delirious smile, Tony answered. "Just...f-ollowing y-your...orders...boss."

Tony's head rolled back, and Gibbs had to gently tap his cheek to bring him back to a semi-conscious state.

"Following my orders? What do you mean?" Gibbs asked. Tony wasn't making any sense. "Tony!"

"If I...I'm g-going to...die...do it...silently."

Gibbs felt his stomach turn at Tony's words. Words he could only vaguely remember saying. Too wrapped up in panic, all he could do was wonder how he could have ever said something so cruel to Tony.

"No, Tony. You're not gonna die. I won't let you."

Tony's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his airway became more and more constricted. Gibbs kept gently tapping his face, hoping to keep him awake.

"Tony! Tony, don't do this to me!" Gibbs urged. But it was no use. Tony was unresponsive. He gave one last strangled breath, then stopped breathing completely.


	11. Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to confess, after the cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter, I was going to be evil and wait an extra week to post this one. But with the enthusiastic response, and some of you asking so nicely, I decided to post it a few days early instead. See? I can be nice sometimes. ;)
> 
> Thank you, by the way, for all the kudos and comments! It makes writing this story all the more rewarding knowing that people are enjoying it!
> 
> As promised, I did post this chapter yesterday on my LiveJournal. I plan to continue posting a day early on LJ before posting here and at ff.net. So if you don't want to wait as long, please be sure to follow me there! And I can't forget to say a big thank you to those who already have! 
> 
> http://thepeachymonkey.livejournal.com/
> 
> Happy reading! :)
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey

Ianto handed Gibbs, Jack and Tosh fresh cups of coffee before taking a sip from his own. He was certain he would be required to make the beverage in a seemingly endless supply all day, as none of them had slept well the previous night.

Everyone was silent as they waited for news on Tony's condition. Time seemed to stretch out, giving their minds time to think up the worst of outcomes as Owen, Ducky and Palmer worked on him. The ME assistant had hurried over without a single complaint about being woken from a sound sleep, and Jack did what he could to assist the doctors -with a bit of instruction - until Jimmy arrived.

In this worried state of waiting, Gibbs had plenty of time to think about Tony's last words to him, and he finally remembered the incident his lover was recalling. It was when they were working the case on the Chimera. Tony was worried he might have contracted an airborne virus; an understandable fear, especially considering he had survived the plague. At the time, he was spiraling into a state of panic, going over the ways he thought he'd end up dying. Movie scenarios, of course. That's how Tony's mind worked.

And how did Gibbs respond? In that time when it would have been best to give Tony comfort and reassurance, what did he do instead? He told Tony to die like Charlie Chaplin in the Gold Rush. Silently. Yes, they were in the middle of a case, in a high pressure situation. And perhaps everyone found Tony's fears to be distracting, or even annoying at the time. But he had been legitimately scared. No matter how Gibbs might have perceived Tony's behavior, he could have just as easily chosen the path of kindness. He could have reassured Tony. Instead, he told him to die silently, and made him carry around a potentially diseased rat. It was cruel, and Gibbs felt ashamed for the way he'd treated Tony.

This recollection sparked a kind of chain reaction, as Gibbs went over countless instances where he had been cruel and insensitive to Tony, and dismissive of his feelings. So many times when his accomplishments had been diminished, and he was made to feel unimportant. Shameful behavior, and not just on his part. The entire team was guilty of it. But Gibbs, as team leader, had to take responsibility for encouraging it.

At the time, Gibbs didn't know about Tony's mental illness. He had no idea that the way Tony acted was a coping mechanism, and that he needed the support of meds to get through the day. He didn't know how emotionally fragile his SFA actually was. Tony made sure that everyone saw him as good natured and resilient.

Gibbs didn't know, but that was no excuse for the way he'd treated Tony.

Now, Tony might die, leaving this life feeling he didn't matter. Believing those around him saw him as some sort of joke. The offhanded remarks that Gibbs had seen as insignificant at the time had stayed with Tony, wounding him emotionally. Those were the memories Tony would take to the grave with him.

"Jethro?"

Ducky's voice pulled Gibbs back into the present.

"How's Tony? How is our baby?" Gibbs asked, not entirely sure he wanted to know the answers to those questions.

"The baby is fine," Owen answered, leaning against the kitchen counter as Ducky took a seat at the table with the others. "I ran the Berakan scanner over Tony, and found no signs of fetal distress.

"And Tony? How is he?" Gibbs' tone was soft and concerned. Though he was impatient and anxious for information, his gruff demeanor had been replaced with that of a man on the brink of loss.

Owen folded his arms, furrowing his brows in consternation. "Tony's body had to make room for the uterus, to accommodate the growing fetus. This caused his organs to compress and shift, which probably explains why he's been so weak. And it's damn lucky he's been in that wheelchair. With his insides as compressed as they are, his body is in a delicate state."

At these words, Ianto's face went even paler than it already was. "Tony's fall last night...did it...?"

"No worries, Tea Boy," Owen reassured him. "The fall didn't cause him any organ damage.

Palmer took this opportunity to speak up. "As for the shortness of breath, Tony's lungs are also compressed. Since they were already damaged from his bout with the plague, this eventually led to respiratory failure."

"Bottom line?" Gibbs asked, the lump in his throat audible.

"His body snapped," Owen said matter-of-factly.

"Tony is in a coma, " Ducky explained after a quick glance to the other doctor, who merely shrugged. "Currently, a ventilator is breathing for him. I'm sorry to say that, at this time, we don't know if he'll pull through. At the moment, he is barely clinging to life."

Ducky lowered his eyes, sadly aware that his explanation was no more comforting than Owen's. There was no nice way to word the truth of the situation. It was frightening and uncertain. As much as Ducky wanted to offer comfort and reassurance to his friend, he couldn't.

"Is there anything you can do for him?" Jack asked desperately, elbows on the table, and his head in his hands. "Anything at all you can try? Is there any hope for Tony?"

"We don't know, Jack. I'm sorry," Owen said solemnly. "We're looking into possible solutions, but right now, it's not looking good."

"Well, I'm not giving up on him," Gibbs said stubbornly, as he stood up and walked towards the bedroom to see Tony. Though usually a man of few words, there was a lot that needed to be said. Gibbs hoped to God that his words would reach Tony.

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It felt surreal walking into the bedroom, greeted not by the sound of Tony's voice, or even his snoring, but instead the hiss of the ventilator and the beep of the heart monitor.

That was clearly Tony lying in the bed, with the IV and various tubes coming out of him. It looked like Tony, but it didn't feel like Tony. He seemed more like a lifeless object, and Gibbs found himself wondering if there was anything left of Tony in that body. Or was he now just an incubator? Would Gibbs' selfish desire to have a child cost him the man he loved more than anything?

Taking a seat beside the bed, Gibbs lightly held Tony's finger. The IV was stuck into his hand, and he was afraid to make any more contact than that. Tony seemed so fragile.

"I never have to worry about holding up my end of the conversation with you, Tony," Gibbs said, warming the cold finger between his own thumb and index finger. "You do enough talking for both of us...I sure wish you'd talk for me now."

Gibbs had to swallow and take a few deep breaths, wiping his eyes with his free hand. He would not cry. Not here. Not in front of Tony. He didn't know if Tony was aware of his presence, but he wasn't taking any chances. Tony needed to believe that Gibbs was strong, so that he would keep fighting.

"I...ah...remembered what I said to you, about dying silently. I'd forgotten about it until I heard you repeat it back to me. I don't know what I was thinking. I was a bastard. You were scared, and based on your past experience, that was understandable. I had no right to say what I did, and...I'm sorry."

Studying Tony's face, Gibbs saw not even a flicker behind his eyelids. No twitching of a hand. No signs of recognition. Gibbs kept watching, hoping for some tiny reaction to his words. He almost wished that Tony would wake up and curse at him angrily. Even if Tony swore he'd never forgive him again, Gibbs just wanted him back.

"And I know. Rule number 6. But I honestly don't give a damn, because I have a lot of things to apologize for. Probably more than I'll ever remember." Gibbs ran a hand over his jaw, sighing. "Oh, geez...where do I start? How about I start with when I ran off to Mexico. Correction: when I ran away to Mexico. I ran away from my problems and left you to clean up the mess. You did a damn good job running things while I was away, from what Jenny told me. The job was thrust upon you , and you did what you had to. And from what I understand, the rest of the team didn't make it easy on you. Hell, I saw the shrine Abby kept in my absence. That couldn't have made you feel good. I should have thanked you when I came back. You kept things running smoothly. I was wrong to just take the job back from you without asking. "

Gibbs' hand moved to Tony's large belly, and he felt some kicks. Flutters of hope in a hopeless situation.

"Unlike me, you've never run away from your problems. You confront them. You deal with them. You take responsibility. Tony, neither of us expected for you to get pregnant. It hasn't been easy for me, watching every day as you became weaker and weaker. So many times, I wanted to tell you that you don't have to put yourself through this. But once you made up your mind to keep this baby, I knew there was no going back for you. Once again, you are facing up to your responsibility."

Keeping his hand on Tony's belly, Gibbs found comfort in the lively kicks beneath the smooth, round dome.

"You've gotta keep fighting, Tony! Do it for our daughter! Do it for me!" Standing up, Gibbs leaned over and kissed Tony's stomach. "Without you, I wouldn't be alive and... and I never even bothered to thank you for saving my life. I never told you this, and I know I should have; you're the best damn agent I've ever worked with. Period. But also the best man I've ever known. Honest, loyal and kind. I don't deserve you. But I sure am glad you took a chance on me."

Kissing the top of Tony's head, Gibbs then exited the room. Walking out to the garden, he sat down on a bench, doing what he couldn't in Tony's lifeless presence. He cried.

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Jack sat silently at the piano, recalling fairly recent memories of he and Tony singing show tunes together while Tony played. Tony reminded Jack of a younger version of himself, and even a bit of James. From everything Tony had told Jack about his mother, he suspected he was also a great deal like Annabelle. If Tony was indeed anything like his mother, than she had grown to become an incredible woman, filled with humor, warmth and compassion.

"Jack?"

Taking a seat beside his lover, Ianto put his hand on Jack's lap, lacing their fingers together.

"It's been a long time since I've really had family," Jack told Ianto, squeezing his hand. "Alice kept her distance, even before the 456. And after losing Steven...I think it's safe to say she'll never speak to me again.

I never got the chance to know Annabelle. But through Tony, I felt I got a glimpse into who she was. Through his memories of her, which I could see reflected in his personality, I know I could be proud to call her my daughter. And after getting to know Tony, I can say with confidence that I'm proud to call him my grandson."

"He's a good man. And a true friend. You should be proud," Ianto said, nodding.

"It doesn't seem fair," Jack lamented. "I never had any health problems while pregnant. Why couldn't my 51st century DNA protect Tony?"

"Because the 20th century DNA overpowered it?" Ianto guessed. "Tony is still a man of his own time."

"Well, he doesn't deserve this!" Jack's body stiffened, and he began trembling in an effort to contain his emotions. "I hate knowing that I'll live forever, while having to watch the people I care about die."

"Well find a way to help Tony," Ianto whispered, leaning into Jack. "I promise you, I will do my best to find a solution. I can be very resourceful, you know." Ianto grinned.

Jack smiled through the tears that were fighting to fall from his eyes. "How can you stay so positive?"

"Because right now, hope is all we've got," Ianto answered truthfully. "But I'm not ready to give up on Tony. He wouldn't want us to. So let's do everything we can for him. Whatever the outcome, at least we'll know we tried."

Jack took a deep breath in and out through his nose in an attempt to steady his nerves. Ianto was right, of course. They couldn't just sit around, waiting for Tony to die. With all of the miracles they had experienced in recent months, Jack had to believe that more were possible. Maybe, just maybe, Tony could be saved.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

McGee sat on the front porch of the Torchwood house, still trying to come to terms with what had happened to Tony. In a few minutes, he would go in to see his friend, but he needed to pull it together first. Emotions were running high in the house, everyone dealing with the situation in their own way. The air felt heavy in there, and he needed some quiet and fresh air to help him think of what he should say to his comatose friend. McGee honestly didn't know if Tony would hear or comprehend his words, but he needed to believe that he would.

Thinking back, there were so many things McGee should have said to Tony, and far more things he wished he could take back. He was sure he wasn't the only team member with these feelings. If he was, then the others needed to seriously take a good look at themselves.

"McGee!"

Abby came bounding onto the porch, nearly suffocating McGee in a tight bear hug.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Poor Tony! Have you seen him yet? Do you know how he is? Did they -"

"Abby!" McGee cut her off. " I don't know. I just got here. When I asked, Ianto told me that Tony is still in a coma. Nothing has changed."

Abby started pacing the porch, her boots clunking heavily on the wood. "Tony won't die, right? He can't die! The last time I saw him, I said some really mean things to him! Like, really, really mean! I don't think I could ever forgive myself if he died. He won't die, right, McGee? Tell me he won't die! He -"

"Abby!" McGee snapped. "Shut up already! This isn't about you! I'm not going to sugar coat things just to make you feel better! You fucked up, all right? We all fucked up! But if you're hoping Tony wakes up just so you can feel better about how you treated him, then you can just fuck off! Because I'll bet you wouldn't be sorry at all if he hadn't fallen into a coma!"

"McGee..." Abby whispered raspily, her voice thick with repressed sobs.

McGee couldn't bring himself to apologize. It would be insincere. So he just took a few deep breaths before speaking up again.

"Look, just try not to be so...intense in there. This has been hard on everyone, and you can be a bit...much."

"McGee...how can you say that?" Abby asked, seemingly devastated at being called out on her behavior.

McGee sighed. "Just give people space, okay? Especially Gibbs. This is harder on him than anyone." Standing up, McGee took Abby by the hands, locking eyes with her. "Promise me."

Abby's lips turned down into a sad pout. "Gibbs probably hates me now. And I used to be his favorite!"

Standing just inside the doorway, Gibbs heard everything. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop. He just wanted to step outside for some air. But hearing Abby's voice stopped him in his tracks. As her words reached his ears, his heart sank in realization.

"Oh, Tony. What have I done?"

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"Owen, please listen to me!" Tosh pleaded, standing up from where she sat at her desk. "There has to be another way!"

"You don't think I've looked? We've all looked, Tosh! This is the only option! Otherwise, Tony will die! This isn't speculation, it's certainty!" Owen informed her defiantly. "If we don't do something quickly, he still might be able to carry the baby to term, but he's never going to wake up!"

Walking to stand face to face with Tosh, it pained Owen to look at her tearful expression. But his mind was made up.

"Tosh, I became a doctor to help people. To save lives. I can't just let Tony die, when I know that I have it in my power to save him!"

"But Jack said -"

"He can't know for sure. Nobody does. There also a chance that it turns out to be harmless. And I'm sure Jack will understand!" Owen assured Tosh. "After all, I'll be doing this for his grandson!"

"What will I understand?" Jack asked, standing in the doorway, arms crossed. He had heard the arguing from downstairs, and came up to see what was wrong.

Both Owen and Tosh turned to face Jack. Tony had been in his coma for almost a week, and with each passing day, what little optimism Jack had left continued to fade.

Owen approached Jack, hoping his decision would be taken as good news.

"Jack, I want to try that 'resurrection trick' on Tony."

Jack blinked, not quite sure he'd heard correctly.

"Are you saying...?"

"You heard him right," Tosh said, stepping forward. "He wants to give Tony his vital energy, even if that means we end up losing him forever!"


	12. Accountability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the last one are both kind of creative ventings of our issues with Tony's treatment throughout the series. Tony is my favorite character, and I think he deserved a lot better than he got!
> 
> Words can not express how thankful I am to everyone who has been enthusiastically following this story, and especially those of you leaving reviews and kudos! I want to remind you that, as of a couple weeks ago, I've started posting chapters a day early on my LiveJournal. So if you want a first look, please follow me there.
> 
> http://thepeachymonkey.livejournal.com/
> 
> I'll probably start posting various thoughts and opinions (especially about fan fiction, and the shows that inspire it) as well. If there's one thing I have plenty of, it's opinions! :P
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey

"Owen, I told you -" Jack began.

"But we don't know for sure, Jack! It could be fine! It's been over a year since I resurrected Tosh and Ianto. Maybe I just needed to 'recharge' before giving away any more of my vital energy."

" 'Maybe' isn't good enough for me, Owen," Jack said, shaking his head.

"Owen, when you resurrected Ianto, I thought I would lose you again right then and there!" Tosh wept. "You may not have realized it, but you were so close to fading away!"

Owen pulled Tosh into his arms, kissing the top of her head. "I hate to see you hurt like this, Tosh. But if I don't do something, Tony's life is essentially over."

"Tosh, why don't you go downstairs and see how everyone is holding up?" Jack instructed, in an effort to ease the thick emotional tension in the room, if even just a bit.

Tosh nodded reluctantly. "See if you can talk some sense into him," she pleaded before her departure.

"I appreciate the thought, Owen. I really do," Jack told him, once they were alone. "But this is a risk we can't afford to take."

"For fuck's sake, Harkness! You're grandson is a vegetable! I would think you'd do whatever it takes for family!" Owen yelled in frustration. "That body downstairs might be on life support, but make no mistake! He's not living! I won't let you lose another grandson! Not on my watch!"

Jack walked up to Owen, putting steadying hands on his shoulders, while trying his best to keep control of his own feelings.

"Owen, of course I want to save Tony! But you have to think about his mental and emotional state. I've learned a lot about Tony since he got here, and based on what I know, he wouldn't be able to live with the knowledge that you sacrificed yourself for him. Did you know that he blamed himself for the death of the former Director of NCIS? It wasn't his fault, but he didn't see it that way. He even blamed himself for his former team mate being killed. He thought that, if he was standing just a few inches over - moved at just the right time - it could have been him instead. He believed it should have been him."

"Tony told you that?" Owen asked in shock.

"No. Jethro did. Based on that information, do you really think he wouldn't blame himself if we lost you? It wouldn't matter that you willingly gave your energy to him. He'd still feel that he was responsible. I think that burden would be too much for him."

Owen closed his eyes in an attempt to gather his thoughts. He had become well aware of Tony's emotional problems, but the knowledge that he carried an undeserved burden of guilt around with him was something not found in his records. It certainly hadn't come up in therapy. So the combination of hormones and a lack of medication must have caused him to open up to Gibbs, revealing that hidden inner turmoil.

"What do we do then, Jack?" he finally asked. "I feel so useless right now! He's your family, and I should be able to do something for him!"

Seeing the look of helplessness and despair in Owen's eyes, Jack held his hands tightly, their eyes locking.

"You're my family, too, Owen. Tony may be related to me by blood. But we've been through too much together for me to not think of you as a brother." Jack smirked. "Okay, maybe more like an annoying cousin sometimes," he added in a weak attempt to lift the gloom of the situation. "But I care for you. Really."

Owen gave a wavering smile, truly touched by Jack's words, but also acutely aware of his pain at the thought of losing his grandson.

"So, what do we do?" he asked. "You say it's too risky to give Tony my vital energy. And your Vortex energy isn't enough to heal those damaged lungs of his. We already tried that! We're running out of options, Jack! I..."

Owen's voice trailed off as he saw the pain his words were causing Torchwood's leader. He hadn't intended to make Jack feel worse about the situation. He was trying to help. Hoping to find answers. Wanting desperately to fulfill his duties as a doctor.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I just..."

"Jack! Owen!" Ianto interrupted them as he popped his his head in the door. "I need to see you both! Now!"

"Is everything all right?" Jack asked, his voice laced with panic. "Did something happen to Tony?"

"No. His status is unchanged." Ianto's face broke into a smile. "But I might have some good news!"

Jack and Owen exchanged tentative grins as they followed Ianto out.

"That's my resourceful Welshman!" Jack praised, his voice now tinged with hope.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Gibbs found Abby where McGee had left her on the porch. She was seated now, staring at the ground and looking thoughtful.

"Abs - "

"Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs!"

Abby shot upright quick as lightning, running over to Gibbs and capturing him in a tight hug.

"Gibbs, I -"

Forcefully pulling himself away from Abby's embrace, Gibbs gave the woman a stern look.

"Sit down. We need to talk."

With the deer-in-the-headlights look of a child being sent to the principal's office, Abby took a seat beside Gibbs. "Gibbs, I know I -"

Gibbs held up his hand to cut Abby off. "Just let me say what needs to be said."

Abby nodded, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Abby, I've always seen you as a sort of surrogate daughter. And because of this, maybe I let you get away with more than I should have. I played favorites, praising your accomplishments, while disregarding the efforts of the rest of my team. I gave you preferential treatment, and now that I look back, I think that was a mistake."

"What are you saying?" Abby asked softly, surprised not only by the words Gibbs was saying, but to hear him say so many words at once.

"You're good at what you do. And you're passionate and caring." Gibbs bit his lip, unsure how Abby would react to what he was about to say.  
"But you can also be selfish, childish and immature."

"Gibbs!" Abby whined, pouting. "I can't believe you -"

"Your reaction proves my point," Gibbs responded, watching her shut up and slump down into her chair.

"Tony has worked hard for me over the years. Every bit as hard as you. But I never gave him the praise, recognition or gratitude I've shown you. And he deserved it just as much. I think this is why he's been upset with you. That's my fault. If he ever wakes up from his coma, I'll have to apologize to him for that.

Abby nodded in understanding.

"But the way you behaved the last few times you saw him? That's on you! You hurt Tony with your words and actions, and if he pulls through this, I expect you to not only apologize, but also change your behavior. Things are going to be different around here. If my prayers are answered, and Tony lives to deliver this baby, I'm going to be a father again. Tony and our daughter will come first."

Reaching out to take a firm hold of Abby's hand, Gibbs lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"I need to know you'll be mature enough to handle the transition."

"I-I'll try my best," Abby promised, her voice small and sheepish. "I'm sorry, Gibbs. I really am worried about Tony and your baby, you know."

"I know, Abs," Gibbs whispered, squeezing her hand in favor of the customary hugs they had previously shared. "I know."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

McGee sat at Tony's bedside, staring silently at him. It was hard to believe that the lifeless, unresponsive body he was looking at used to be a giant bundle of energy. Telling jokes, making movie references, and talking nonstop.

Seeing Tony like this, it was hard to feel hopeful. McGee had been watching his friend's state deteriorate for months, with no sign of getting any better. Why should he believe things would improve now? He was happy that Tony and Gibbs loved each other, and seeing their devotion was truly touching. And he wanted to be happy about their baby. But seeing the toll that the pregnancy was taking on Tony wasn't easy. The baby girl might be growing and thriving inside Tony, but she had left him a shell.

McGee didn't see any point in talking to Tony. He doubted he could hear him. But he decided to do so anyway, for his own comfort. Even if any hope that Tony was aware behind those closed, dead eyes was imagined, at the moment, it was all that was keeping McGee from breaking down.

"So," McGee finally said, taking a deep breath and rubbing his hands nervously along his knees. "First the plague, now pregnancy. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were trying to set some kind of record." Tim laughed joylessly. "Only you, Tony. Only you.

"All joking aside, though, there are some things I need to say. First of all, I'd like to apologize for saying you don't rate your own team. Of course you do! More than any of us, I think. Gibbs trusted you with the job when he left. And not just because you were the Senior Field Agent. I honestly believe you were the best qualified to lead the team. Ziva is too much of a loose cannon, and I don't think I could have put up with all the crap you did. And we did give you a hard time. I admit it, and I'm sorry. You just make it look so easy. Always talking away, making jokes, and being a goof. It's easy to forget that you're a smart, hardworking investigator.  
Yes. I just called you smart. I know that I'm sometimes guilty of underestimating you. We all are, I think.

"I just want you to wake up so I can thank you for your friendship and guidance. I wouldn't be the agent I am without you. I guess I could say you're my mentor."

McGee laughed to himself as he imagined how Tony might react to being called a mentor. He would no doubt be annoying about it. When McGee slipped up and called him "boss", he didn't hear the end of it for days!

But at that moment, McGee would welcome being annoyed by Tony. He'd welcome any kind of reaction from him. Even a simple blink would suffice.

"I really miss you, Tony," McGee said thickly, unable to fight the tears anymore.

"We all do," Ziva said from the doorway.

"Oh. Hey." McGee turned around to face Ziva as she entered the room and stood behind him. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough to know that I am not the only one struggling with a guilty conscious," she sighed, tilting her head to examine Tony.

"He looks...peaceful," she observed.

"Yeah. That's one way of putting it,"McGee said sadly, standing up. "I think I've said all I can for now. You go ahead. Take your moment."

"Thank you." Ziva nodded, taking McGee's place in the chair as he left the room.

It was hard for Ziva to look at Tony. Yes, she had seen her fair share of death. Tony wasn't the first comatose friend she had known. But it never got any easier. It was harder still because she knew the person that he was before. He was one of the first people she'd met in America, and in his own unique way, he helped to make her feel welcome. Lifting her eyes to finally look at him, she realized what a poor job she had done of showing gratitude.

"Tony, you often test my patience. You are obnoxious, annoying and juvenile...but you are never cruel. I believe that makes you a better person than me.  
I remember shortly after I joined NCIS, I hosted a dinner party. Everyone was there...except for you. I deliberately excluded you. That was unkind and hurtful, and you did not deserve to be left out like that.  
"Since that time, I have continued to hurt you with my words; attacking your intellect and your masculinity, mocking you for getting older, or even gaining a few pounds...I never considered the effect my words could have on you. That they might hurt you.

"The truth is that you're a good man, with a big heart, and you deserved better than the treatment you have received. "

Standing up, Ziva looked down at Tony, facing the sobering truth that he was at the mercy of the machines keeping him alive.

"We all need you here, Tony. The team needs you, Gibbs needs you..." She placed her hand upon Tony's stomach. "And this baby desperately needs you. I have a feeling that your kind, playful nature will make you an excellent parent! Please, please pull through, Tony!"

Kissing the top of Tony's head, Ziva felt queasy at how much like the corpses they encountered on the job he felt.

Walking to the door, she gave one last look back.

"I'm sorry, Tony. Never doubt for a moment how much you matter to all of us."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Jack, Ianto, Tosh and Owen gathered in the library. On the far wall, a large monitor hung. Tosh was in the process of getting a secure connection for the call that just might hold the answer to saving Tony.

It was only a matter of minutes before the Torchwood team was on a video call with Martha Jones.

"It's so good to see all of you alive!" the young doctor exclaimed, her eyes scanning the team through unshed tears. "I thought only you were left, Jack, and after everything that happened, I never thought I'd hear from you again."

"Are you kidding? How could I stay away?" Jack winked, masking his own emotions behind the joke.

"The truth is, we need your help," Tosh said seriously. "Ianto briefed you on the situation?"

"Some of it," Martha nodded. "Jack's grandson is on life support?"

"That's right," Jack confirmed. "His lungs were damaged by the plague a few years ago, and last week, they just gave out on him. I don't think he'll be able to breathe on his own again without some help."

As hard as he tried, Jack couldn't stop himself from tearing up as he spoke, realizing that Martha could very well be their last hope for saving Tony.

"The plague? Are you serious?" Martha asked, wearing a look of disbelief. "Like in the Dark Ages?"

Jack nodded solemnly.

"Did he travel through time?"

Jack shook his head. "No, no at all. It was a synthetic version of the plague."

"Oh, okay." A smile spread across her lips. "I'd be more than happy to help you. What can I do?"

"We've heard about the "Caeruleus project," Ianto said laconically.

Martha nodded in understanding.  
"Well, it could be helpful, but I make no guarantees that it will work," she warned. "The good news is that it won't do any harm."

"No matter. We'll try anything!" Hope once again flickered, however faintly, in Jack's eyes.

"Okay. As you may know, the "Caeruleus project is a little something UNIT's been developing to help people breathe in space without carrying oxygen along. It's derived from a variety of alien plant life that have been shown to have properties similar to cortisone. But no worries. It's been tested extensively, and there are no harmful side effects. It's even safe for use during pregnancy." Martha laughed. "Not that that will be an issue with your grandson."

The team exchanged knowing looks.

Martha blinked."Wait. Is he...?" she asked when nobody answered.

"Let's say he is," Jack answered cryptically.

Martha studied Jack's face for a moment. It was always hard to tell when he was kidding. She finally decided to just go with it.

"As I said before, it can't do any harm. It hasn't been tested on someone on life support, so I can't guarantee it will work for him. Even if it does, he still may need to be on supplemental oxygen. But it's the best I can do for you right now. I'll snatch some and express mail it to you today. It's the least I can do for you, Jack."

"I'm sending you our mailing address now," Tosh informed Martha, typing.

"Once again, you've come through when we need you," Jack praised softly, a faint smile present on his face, which was otherwise worn with worry.

"We really can't thank you enough," Ianto added.

"Save your thanks until you know it works," Martha laughed humbly. "Good luck. Keep me posted!"

"We will," Jack said with a grateful nod. "Take care, Martha Jones."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"Jethro," Ducky called to his friend, who was keeping watch over Tony in an easy chair next to the bed.

"Hey, Duck," Gibbs greeted distractedly. "Late night in autopsy?"

"I'm afraid so," Ducky answered, pulling up a chair and taking a seat next to Gibbs. "You really should get some sleep," he added. "Every time I look, I see you sitting here."

Gibbs sighed, running his hand over his face. "I want to be here if Tony wakes up. Or, God forbid, if..." Gibbs looked into the eyes of one of the few people he trusted completely. "I'm gonna lose everything I care about, Duck...again!"

Ducky gently put his hand on Gibbs' shoulder. "Do try not to lose faith, Jethro. I don't want to give you false hope, but I do want to remind you that Tony has a good team in his corner! If anyone can save Tony and your child, they can."

"That's our hope," Jack interjected, entering with Ianto, Owen and Tosh.

"Ducky, might I have your assistance?" Owen asked, motioning the ME over to him.

"Yes, of course," Ducky said agreeably, standing up and approaching the other doctor.

"What's going on? What are they doing?" Gibbs asked, observing Ducky, Owen and Jack's hushed conversation.

"Hopefully, saving Tony's life," Ianto said with a gentle smile.

"We'll explain the science of it later," Owen said, opening a small, cool box from which he extracted a pressurized syringe filled with a bright blue liquid. "Just know that, right now, it's our best hope to help Tony." He handed the syringe to Ducky with a curt nod.

Ducky carefully took it and smiled down tentatively at Tony. "I know how you hate needles, dear boy. Consider it a small mercy that you're not awake for this," he joked, cautiously easing the needle between Tony's ribs until it reached his right lung then injecting half of the fluid, before repeating the process with his left lung.

Now, all they could do was wait and hope.


	13. Speechless

For several minutes, everyone just watched and waited as Tony remained unconscious.

"Jethro, we - " Ianto began.

"It's okay," Gibbs interrupted, eyes locked on Tony's lifeless form. "You did everything you could. I appreciate it."

Gibbs took a deep breath. As much as he didn't want to, he knew that someone would have to bring up the truth none of them dared to speak of.

"Tony's not gonna make it, is he? Be straight with me."

Owen hesitated for a moment. "Probably not," he finally answered, looking down solemnly. "I'm sorry."

Circling a hand on Tony's belly, Gibbs couldn't stop the tears. "Can the baby be saved?" he asked with a hoarse voice.

Owen nodded. "It's a possibility, yes."

"Then promise me you'll do whatever you can for our little girl. If Tony dies, I don't want it to be for nothing," Gibbs said, pleading with his eyes.

"Yes. We'll do everything we can," Owen promised.

Jack walked to stand beside Gibbs and put his hand on Gibbs' shoulder, the sadness in his eyes comparable to when he'd held a dying Ianto in his arms.

"You're welcome to stay here with us after the baby is born," he offered. "I want to take care of my family, and you're part of it as much as Tony is."

Gibbs just nodded sadly. "I don't think I can make it without Tony," he said thickly.

"Um...I'd hold off on the funeral arrangements if I were you," Tosh said with a small smile, nudging him gently.

Everyone's eyes turned to gaze upon Tony's face. Green eyes blinked up at them, as if seeing the world for the first time.

Mesmerized by the sight before him, Gibbs smiled down tenderly at Tony, his lover's eyes the most beautiful thing he could recall seeing in a long time. "Hey there, Tony. I sure have missed you."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Exiting the elevator, Ziva could clearly hear a chorus of voices in the bullpen. As she set her bag down, she saw McGee, Jimmy and Abby chatting excitedly at McGee's desk.

"Ziva!" Abby bound over, hugging her before she'd had a chance to ask what was going on. "He's awake!"

Ziva's eyes widened in excitement. "Really?! That's fantastic!"

"Doctor Mallard just called me,"Jimmy said, clearly overjoyed. He and Tony had become good friends after Gibbs left for Mexico, and Tony's coma had been especially hard on him.

"Did he say how...our friend is doing?" McGee asked, glancing surreptitiously around him. Since others might be listening in, nobody dared speak Tony's name.

"No. He didn't say much, really," Jimmy said, looking thoughtful. "He actually didn't sound as happy as I thought he would. I wonder why that is."

"Why don't you go find out for yourself?" Vance entered the bullpen with a ghost of a grin on his face. Though he'd never admit it, he had been worried about Tony, too, and to hear that his condition had improved was a relief.

McGee looked puzzled. "Director, are you sure?"

Vance nodded curtly. "I need my agents at the top of their games. I can't have you distracted. Take the morning off to visit him. But I want you all back here after lunch."

Abby bounced excitedly. "You got it!"

"Thank you so much, Director!" Jimmy's face lit up as he he led the group to the elevators. Vance smiled after them, then he pulled out his phone and dialed his wife's number.

※

When they arrived at the Torchwood mansion, emotions were running high. Recent events had cause them to face up to their own behavior, and suddenly, McGee, Ziva and Abby felt very ashamed. As for Jimmy, he had almost lost one of his few true friends. A man who was also often underestimated and misunderstood. Though he had been far kinder to Tony than the others, he now realized that he hadn't appreciated him in the way that he should have. That was going to change.

Ianto opened the door, greeting them with a bittersweet smile that made everyone uneasy. Shouldn't this be a day of celebration?

"Before we go any further, I have to warn you that everything didn't go as well as we could have expected." He paused and let out a heavy sigh. "I'm afraid Tony is not as you remember him," the Welshman informed the group before leading them into the bedroom. "Though I suppose this is better than the alternative he was facing."

Entering the bedroom, they saw Tony sitting up in bed, green eyes turning to them upon their arrival. The ventilator had been replaced with a nasal cannula, and he was now wearing clean red pajamas.

"Tony!" Abby ran up to him, hugging him gingerly. Not only because he still seemed very fragile, but also because she felt incredibly ashamed by her past actions, and nervous about facing him. Pulling away from the hug, she noted that Tony didn't seem angry. In fact, he didn't really react to her much at all and somehow, that was even worse.

"Tony, we were all so worried about you," she said, waiting for some kind of reaction. When he only stared up, blinking at her, Ducky interjected.

"I'm sorry, Abby, but it seems that the oxygen deprivation that occurred just before Tony's coma has left him with some brain damage. He hasn't spoken a word since he's woken up, and needs assistance with simple tasks.

Abby stared at him in shock. "You mean..."

"Yes, my dear. Our friend is going to need as much help as we can provide him."

"Still glad to have him with us, though," Gibbs commented, entering the room.

Upon seeing the father of his child, Tony grunted, reaching out his arms. Gibbs gave him a tender embrace, before sitting beside him on the bed.

"Hey, Tony." Gibbs spoke to Tony as one would to a pet, or a very small child. "Look who came to see you," he said, pointing to Jimmy, McGee, Abby and Ziva.

"So this is it. We've lost him, haven't we?" Jimmy asked dejectedly, fighting back the tears which were welling up in his eyes.

"No, no, Mr. Palmer," Ducky insisted. "He has still come back from the brink of death. So long as he is alive, I am willing to accept his current state, however unfortunate it may be."

McGee nodded sadly. "I guess that now, the best thing we can do is just to support Tony. We failed him before. I'm not gonna let that happen again."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"Impressive!" Jackie commented, stepping out of the car and surveying the massive estate before her. "You said this place belongs to Tony's grandfather?"

"In a matter of speaking, yes," Vance confirmed warily as they made their way up the walkway. Jackie had a big heart. It was one of her best qualities. But she had no idea what she was getting involved in. A pregnant male agent was a tricky enough situation. The fact that he was the grandson of Torchwood's immortal leader complicated things even further.

"Oh, look! I see him out back!" Jackie pointed, indicating Tony in his wheelchair, being pushed by Jack. "How many babies has he got in there?" She added under her breath. "He's big as a house."

"I'm pretty sure it's just one," Vance said with a faint grin as they walked towards the garden.

"Excuse me, sir!" Jackie called. "We're here to see Tony!"

Jack's brows furrowed in anger at their approach and he instinctively raised his hand to the butt of his Webley. He walked to meet them, just out of Tony's earshot, but close enough to keep an eye on him.

"Director Vance, what are you doing bringing your wife here?! I'd think that you, of all people, would appreciate the need for secrecy!" he hissed under his breath.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Vance asked defensively, placing himself in front of his wife in a protective gesture.

"Don't insult my intelligence with questions like that," Jack snorted. "You may not exactly be an open book, but I was still able to read beyond the cover!"

"Hey!" Jackie interjected. "Cut it out, both of you, please! I have no reason to divulge your whereabouts to anyone. I'm simply here to support Tony. I know what it's like to have a high risk pregnancy, and I figured he could use a friend. Someone who understands what he's going through."

Jack looked Jackie up and down. She seemed decent enough. Certainly a more friendly presence than her husband. But Tony had already been through so much, Jack was hesitant to let anyone new in. He needed to protect the only family he had.

"Just give me a moment," he finally said, stepping away and making a phone call.

"He looks so frail," Jackie observed with worry. "My experience is nothing compared to what poor Tony is going through. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll really be any help at all."

"Only one way to find out," Jack told her, placing his phone back in his pocket. "I asked Jethro, and he's all right with you being here." He extended his hand to Jackie. "Jack Harkness, I'm... one of Tony's friends."

"Jackie Vance. Though you obviously knew that already," she joked. Though she didn't enjoy the initially icy reception, she had to respect a man who looks out for his friends like that.

Frightened whimpers and grunts called their attention back to the man who was the reason for the unexpected visit. Tony had never left their sight, but being left alone for the past few minutes had left him scared and agitated.

The trio walked over to Tony, Jackie standing in front of him.

"I'm sorry, Tony, that was pretty rude of us, leaving you alone that that."

Tony smiled at her, recognition present in his eyes.

"Uh!" he grunted, motioning to his right.

"He wants you to take him to the sunflowers. We've got some still blooming in the hothouse over there," Jack explained, pointing ahead. "They were his mother's favorite, and the sight of them seems to sooth him."

"Is that right, Tony?" Jackie asked.

Tony nodded, a faint, sad smile ghosting his lips.

"I'm guessing she's been on your mind a lot lately. A mother's guidance can be comforting when you're about to become a parent yourself."

"Eh," Tony grunted, tears forming in his eyes.

Jackie dried Tony's eyes with her thumb, smiling at him gently. "I know I can't compare to your mother, but I'd like to do what I can to help you through this transition. Is that all right with you, Tony?"

Tony's face brightened. He appeared comforted and relieved as he grunted his approval.

Smiling, Jackie stood up and released the brakes from Tony's wheelchair. "All right, then. I'll take you to the sunflowers, and we can have a little talk."

"How's he doing?" Vance asked, watching his wife wheel Tony through the garden.

"Small improvements," Jack answered, eyes following his grandson. "He's able to loosely hold things now, and participate in some of his self care, with help."

"But still no speech?"

Jack sighed. "No. According to Owen and Ducky, the oxygen deprivation that Tony experienced just before falling into a coma caused a small lesion on the part of his brain that controls speech. But he seems to recognize people, and he reacts to each individual appropriately. Call it wishful thinking, but I haven't given up hope that Tony's speech will return someday."

"We can only hope," Vance said.

"Really?" Jack raised a dubious eyebrow. "You, of all people, want Tony to talk again?"

"Sure." Vance smirked. "I'm not a complete bastard."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"Tony?" Abby peeked nervously into the bedroom. Though she was unsure of how much Tony understood, she still felt compelled to apologize for her previous behavior.

Looking in, she was surprised to see an unexpected visitor sitting at Tony's bedside.

"Oh. Mrs. Vance. Hi," she greeted awkwardly. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Hello, Abby," Jackie smiled warmly. "Yes, Leon told me about Tony's condition, and I wanted to offer my support."

"Huh. Well, the Director swore not to tell anyone about Tony. But I guess he thinks he can make an exception for his wife." Abby, hands on her hips, had suddenly taken on a defensive tone. It was clear she wanted to protect her friend's privacy.

"Well...I kind of coerced the truth out of him," Jackie admitted, laughing. "I'm sure he hasn't spoken a word of it to anyone else. And I promise you, my lips are sealed."

Abby studied Jackie's face for a moment. She'd only met her a few times before, but she seemed like a sweet person. Her eyes fell on Tony's hand holding Jackie's on his lap. He was comfortable with her around. Maybe she should give her the benefit of the doubt.

"All right," Abby finally said, her features slowly melting into a smile. "If you passed Jack's inspection, and Tony wants you around, I guess that's good enough for me."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence," Jackie said sincerely, smiling at Abby warmly.

 

Abby bit her bottom lip."Can I, uh...can I have a few minutes alone with Tony?" she asked, nervously fidgeting with the handle of a large cloth bag.

"Sure," Jackie said agreeably, before turning back to Tony. "I'll be back in a few days", she promised, giving his knee an affectionate squeeze. "Take care, Tony."

Tony smiled at Jackie as she left, then looked warily at Abby, who sat, looking anxiously at him. Seemingly searching for the right words.

"Um...Tony, about the way I acted before...I'm sorry. It was selfish and mean. I'm happy for you guys. It's just weird for me. You're like a brother to me, and Gibbs is like a father to me. So it's like my brother is having my father's baby and -"

"Agh!" Tony grunted impatiently, cutting short her rambling.

"Sorry, Tony," Abby said sheepishly. "You're right. This is not about me. What I'm trying to say is that I love you guys, and I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that I always thought I was Gibbs' favorite, and that he saw me as a surrogate daughter. I knew where I stood. Then you and Gibbs got together and you got pregnant almost immediately."

 

Abby looked at Tony, vehemently shaking her head.

"And it was great. Really great. I didn't lie. I was very happy for you, guys. But suddenly my world turned upside down and I didn't know where I stood anymore. Gibbs stopped paying attention to me. He was only focused on you and the baby and... I'm sorry. I was jealous of you. I'm aware that I tended to intrude into your relationship and your pregancy, and I want to apologize for that. I had no right to act the way I did and I hope you'll forgive me for that."

She lowered her eyes to her hands, nervously playing with the seam of plaid on Tony's lap for a moment before she looked up again.

"And just so you know, Tony, you look great! You're skin looks amazing, and you're totally rocking the pregnancy glow! And just think! You're carrying this beautiful little baby girl that's probably gonna grow up to be smart, loyal, funny, strong and good looking - a great combination of you and Gibbs!"

Abby felt relief wash over her when she saw Tony's face break into a small smile.

"Tony, when you were in a coma, everyone was really scared and worried about you, and we all realized that we haven't been very nice to you. Everybody feels really bad about it. But I swear things will be different from now on!"

"Hah." Tony, his eyes wet with tears, reached out his arms to Abby, inviting her to hug him.

Standing up, Abby, who was also tearful, leaned over, embracing her friend.

"I got you something," she told Tony, reaching into her bag and pulling out a large stuffed pig. "I call him Monty. But you can change the name if you don't like it. He's like Bert. See? "

Abby squeezed the toy, resulting in a loud fart-like noise, which caused Tony to laugh. His laughter, bright and cheerful, was a sound that had long been absent, and Abby found her heart gladdened to see the look of pure happiness on his face. It was carefree, and almost child-like. A look that Abby had missed dearly.

"I gotta get going now," Abby said, handing Tony the pig. "I just stopped by to say I'm sorry, and I love you." She paused tentatively before asking "Are we good?"

Tony replied by pointing the pig's butt at her and squeezing.

"I'll take that as a yes," Abby laughed, giving Tony one last hug before leaving.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

The house was bustling with joyous energy as everyone gathered for Sunday brunch. Jimmy, McGee, Abby and Ziva had all come come to share in the meal, and everyone was looking forward to a carefree visit with those who had become closest to them.

The smells of hot coffee, crisp bacon, and warm, fluffy pancakes filled the air. Everyone moved into the dining room, gathering around the long, rectangular table. Gibbs poured a glass of water for Tony and cut up a few pancakes into bite sized pieces for him.

"So have you thought of any baby names yet?" Abby inquired, pouring herself a glass of orange juice.

Gibbs sighed, running a hand through his hair."No. Tony and I never had that conversation. As things are now, it'll probably be up to me to name her."

"You can't give up on Tony!" Abby insisted. "Things will get better for him after the baby is born! I know it!"

Tony, who Gibbs had parked at the corner of the table, sat looking on, unnoticed.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Ducky warned. "While it's true that Tony will likely regain some physical strength after giving birth, the damage has been done. His lungs are in a worse state than before. He will likely be on oxygen for the rest of his life. Additionally, we don't know if there will be any long term damage to his organs as a result of bring compressed."

No one seemed to notice as Tony's fingers fumbled to pick up a piece of pancake. His pleading whines were muted by the lively conversation around him.

"And we still don't know if he'll ever speak again," Jimmy added sadly, as he bit into a piece of bacon.

"For Tony, not being able to talk, must be hell!" Ziva quipped, chuckling behind her glass.

"It's not funny," Gibbs told her with an icy glare.

"I-I know, and I'm sorry," Ziva stammered contritely. "I was just trying to lighten the mood."

"The point is," Jack interjected, in an attempt to diffuse the tension, "after this baby is born, she might not be the only one who needs to be taken care of. Which is why I offered to let Tony, Jethro and the baby move in here permanently. We certainly have everything needed to provide for Tony."

Meanwhile, their topic of conversation whined in frustration. He hadn't had a bite to eat, his fingers betraying his mind's intent. As a shaky hand awkwardly reached for his glass of water, the drink was knocked from the table, unseen and unheard amongst the chatter.

"That's very generous of you, Jack," McGee said, smiling at the immortal.

"I look out for my family." Jack smiled back.

"Well," Ianto began. "I-"

Suddenly, a loud, angry crash resonated across the room, as a plate hit the wall. Everyone turned to look at Tony with amazement. Shaking and covered with food, he sat glaring at them with a look of anger, hurt and frustration.


	14. Silence Speaks

Gibbs' stomach clenched with guilt as he stared at the face of his furious lover. He'd done it again! After promising it wouldn't happen again, he had hurt Tony. Not with his words this time, but his lack of actions.

"Tony, I'm sorry," Gibbs said, not giving a damn about rule #6. As he cut up a single pancake, preparing a new plate for Tony, his heart broke as he saw that Tony was clearly fighting back tears.

"Here. No need for you to go hungry," Gibbs whispered soothingly, placing a piece of pancake in Tony's hand.

Tony glared, clenching his jaw and threw the food at Gibbs. He then hit him as hard as he could, which wasn't very hard at all. But the action was enough to communicate that things had become too much for Tony.

"Come now," Ianto said gently, positioning himself behind Tony's wheelchair and pulling him away from the table. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"I'll help," Jimmy offered, following as Ianto wheeled Tony away.

Gibbs started after them, but Jack held up an arm, gently holding him back.

"Let him go. Nothing you say right now will help. Tony needs time to cool off," Jack reasoned.

"I guess you're right," Gibbs shrugged sadly, while eyeing the mess Tony had made. "Let me clean this up for you."

Jack nodded appreciatively. "I'll help."

As Gibbs followed Jack to get some cleaning supplies, he caught sight of the rest of his team, shooting Ziva an angry glare.

Saying nothing, Ziva simply looked down. But she wasn't off the hook, as McGee and Abby had followed Gibbs' example.

"What the hell was that, Ziva?" McGee asked angrily. "Laughing about the fact that Tony can't talk? He was sitting right there!"

"I - I guess I wasn't thinking," Ziva stammered. "It was a knee-jerk reaction."

"What? So making fun of Tony just comes second nature to you?" Abby asked, throwing up her hands in disbelief.

"Hey! Back off! You're no better than me! We all screwed up!" Ziva pointed out.

"Yeah, but right now, you screwed up more!" Abby insisted.

Ziva paused, looking quite ashamed of her actions. "I did not mean to hurt him."

"No. And yet, you always do. We all do. Seems we can't help it," McGee sighed sadly.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Once Tony had been cleaned, Ianto and Jimmy took him into the spacious library, Ianto locking the door behind them.

"It's not like locking the door will keep anyone out if they really want to get in here. Especially Owen," Ianto couldn't help but to comment. "But I think they know better than to bother us."

Tony simply scowled through angry tears.

"I know you're upset," Jimmy said softly, sitting next to his friend and taking hold of his hand. "We screwed up. We just sat around talking about you, while you were right there, needing our help, and we ignored you."

"Our actions were inexcusable," Ianto agreed, sitting across from Tony at the large table. "I, of all people, should have been more considerate. While I don't understand your specific situation, I do understand what it's like to feel alone and invisible. No one should have to feel that way."

Tony gave Ianto a curious look.

"You remember I told you about Lisa?"

Tony nodded.

"Who's Lisa?" Jimmy asked.

"I'll tell you later," Ianto quickly promised before turning back to Tony. "Before the team found out about Lisa, I was more or less ignored. I was just the tea boy to them. A glorified butler, actually. And I held so much pain inside my heart. I felt so alone with that pain. Yet I suffered silently, left behind at the Hub while the team went about their business."

"Unh." Tony placed his free hand on the table, reaching out to Ianto with a sympathetic gaze.

"I appreciate your concern, Tony," Ianto smiled, patting Tony's hand. "But I didn't tell you this because I want your pity. I told you because I want you to know that I don't want you to face your struggles alone. I, for one,will never disregard you or your needs again."

"Neither will I," Jimmy promised, squeezing Tony's hand.

Tony's eyes danced between the two men he now considered to be his closest friends. So much sadness and frustration behind those eyes. At that very moment, something unlocked within him, and a long, keening sound echoed throughout the room, as pain past and present was brought to the surface.

Jimmy and Ianto watched sadly, allowing their friend to release the emotions which had been poisoning him.

When he was finished, Tony just sat quietly. It seemed he was trying to make sense of his own emotions, and the situation he was in. Looking up at Ianto and Jimmy, he appeared apologetic and ashamed.

"You're scared, aren't you?" Jimmy asked, exchanging a concerned glance with Ianto.

Tony nodded.

Ianto stood up and made his way to the other side of the table. Pulling Tony's wheelchair away from the table, he turned Tony so that they were facing each other, putting his hands on the older man's arms to steady him.

"We're here," Ianto reassured Tony, blue eyes gazing into green with sincerity. "It's going to be all right."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Ducky entered the kitchen to find Gibbs sitting at the table, head in his hands, nursing a cup of coffee.

"How many cups have you had?" the Scotsman asked, taking a seat next to his oldest and dearest friend.

Gibbs shrugged. "Ianto left the pot for me." Taking a thoughtful sip, he set the cup down and sighed. "Tony doesn't want to see me. He's pissed off, and he has every right to be."

"Yes. Yes he does," Ducky agreed, nodding. "But you can't shoulder the blame yourself. We all played a part in what happened." Gibbs gave him a doubtful glance, but Ducky shrugged it off. "Yes, Jethro. All of us. And that includes myself, and all the people around this table earlier."

Gibbs slumped his shoulders.

"Yeah, but Tony is my partner. He's my responsibility." Breathing heavily through his nose, Gibbs ran a hand through his hair. "I wanted so badly for him to wake up. And I can accept that he has brain damage and I'll probably need to take care of him for the long haul. But I still can't wrap my head around it. Part of me just expects him to be all right. To be the Tony we knew."

"A lot has changed in recent months," Ducky pointed out.

"I know, Duck," Gibbs said, gulping down some more coffee. "Tony hasn't been independent for awhile now. But not talking? Having trouble feeding himself? It's just hard to accept. It's not... him. "

"I understand. But you need to be present for Tony," Ducky told Gibbs. "Even if he pushes you away, even if you misunderstand him, he needs your support!" With that, Ducky grabbed Gibbs' coffee mug, dumping it in the sink.

"Ducky! What the hell?!" Gibbs snapped, standing up.

"Enough with your self pity, Jethro! Right now, Tony's needs come first! Now, follow me to the library. Ms. Sato has something she wishes to show everyone."

※

In the library, the same assembly of people that was present for brunch gathered round the large conference table. Tony sat at the end of the table, staring down at his belly for the most part. Occasionally, he would glance up, glaring briefly at one of the people who had disregarded him earlier. Ziva, in particular, received an especially icy glare, which even managed to make the Mossad officer look down. In fact, the only people Tony seemed happy to see were Ianto, Jimmy, and Tosh, who was busy attaching something to his wheelchair.

The look Tony gave Gibbs was different, though. As the father of his child entered with Ducky, the glare Tony shot his way glistened with tears; less angry and more hurt. Out of everyone, it seemed, it was Gibbs who had hurt Tony the most.

Tosh worked for a few more minutes, Tony looking curiously at her.

She had locked herself away in her room in the days since Tony awoke from his coma, and no one - not even Owen, - knew what she had been up to.

While Owen could have easily slid beneath the door, he respected Tosh's need for privacy. Seeing her now with Tony seemed to confirm what most had suspected. Whatever Tosh had been working on, it was for Tony.

"There. All set!" Tosh declared as she straightened, addressing Tony specifically, but speaking loud enough for everyone to hear. "Tony, I made this for you," Tosh said, indicating a digital touch screen at the end of the arm of Tony's wheelchair. All he would have to do was reach his hand ever so slightly to use it.

"This device will be your voice," Tosh explained, turning it on by pressing a button at the bottom. "On the main menu, there are pictures and basic phrases you can put together to express what you want to say. You see?" She pointed, indicating some of the words and phrases that appeared. " 'I want', 'I need', 'eat', 'drink', and so on."

Tosh swiped her finger, indicating a new set of options. "See? Here are buttons with the names and photos of your friends."

Touching a symbol at the corner of the screen, a keyboard appeared. "You can also write out more elaborate sentences, if there is more you would like to say. I'll spend some time with you, to teach you how to use this, but what do you think of it, Tony?"

Reaching for the keyboard, his hands a bit unsteady, Tony slowly typed his answer.

[ " Like it. Thank you." ]

Tony looked up, giving Tosh a teary eyed smile and reaching out his arms. Tosh leaned over, hugging him. Happy to see the sadness and frustration fading from Tony's face.

"Is there anything else you want to say?" Tosh inquired cautiously. "Perhaps you'd like to talk about what happened at brunch?" Tosh knew it was a touchy subject for Tony, and was hesitant to bring it up when he had only just started to calm down. But she felt it was important for him to voice his feelings on the incident from earlier that day, as well as others things he seemed to have bottled up for too long.

Tony frowned, looking at the screen. His finger touched ["I feel." ] He looked at Tosh, unsure of what to do next. Smiling patiently, she guided him until he found what he needed.

Smiling faintly at Tosh for the help, his finger hit [ "angry" ].

Tosh indicated a button at the top of the screen, and Tony pressed it, putting his thought together.

[ "I feel angry." ]

Typing with uncertainty, Tony slowly expressed his next thought.

[ "I can't talk. I can understand. Not stupid. You forgot." ]

A heavy silence filled the room, everyone weighed down by their varying burdens of guilt. Tony's outburst at brunch reminded them that he was mentally present, and had been hurt when they overlooked him. Hearing him put his feelings into words - confirming the unintended cruelty of their actions - was a harsh, yet needed eye opener.

"Tony, we're so sorry," McGee said remorsefully.

Tony shook his head, slowly typing.

[ "It will happen again. Always does." ]

Nobody had a response to that. They had no intention of hurting Tony again. But, in the case of his NCIS colleagues, there was no guarantee. It had happened too often, for too long. It was always the same vicious cycle. Every time he thought they had finally learned their lesson and decided to change, they managed to fall back into their old routines, and all was ruined once again.

Tony looked at everyone warily, his eyes saying that he had given up on his old friends. He'd even given up on Gibbs. They had lost his trust, and it would take a lot for them to earn it back.

[ "I want sleep." ]

Gibbs nodded in understanding, standing up and readying himself to take Tony to bed.

[ "No." ]

Gibbs stopped in his tracks, waiting on Tony's next communication.

[ "Ianto." ] Tony gave a faint smile to the Welshman, conveying in a clear and unequivocal way all the confidence he had in him.

Ianto glanced back apologetically at Gibbs as he approached Tony and released the brakes on the wheelchair. But Gibbs understood. Ianto had done more to earn Tony's loyalty and trust in the months they had known each other than Gibbs had done in years. He couldn't blame Tony for feeling the way he did. He needed to let him have this anger.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Sneaking into Tony's bedroom, Gibbs cautiously padded towards the bed where his lover was lying on his side, his back turned to the door. Cautiously slipping into bed behind him, Gibbs reflected on the unfortunate turn their relationship had taken. It was nice being able to share a bed with Tony again. While Tony was in his coma, Gibbs had slept in an upstairs bedroom, so as not to make him sicker.

In that time when he had almost lost Tony, Gibbs realized what an absolute bastard he had been to him over the years. And he vowed that, if given another chance, he would make it up to him.

But Tony woke up, and nothing changed. Because it felt like everything had changed. The shock of seeing Tony brain damaged and without a voice was something Gibbs wasn't prepared for. Instead of really looking to see if Tony was still mentally and emotionally cognitive and present, he regarded him alternately as a baby and an object. It wasn't intentional, but it certainly wasn't fair either.

Gibbs never ended up saying the things he swore he'd say to Tony if he woke up. He never stopped to listen for the silent screams of the man who was sacrificing so much of himself to carry their baby to term. Tony was risking his very life for this child, after all!

Tony was there, all along. And, once again, he had been hurt by those closest to him. He was understandably angry, sad and frustrated. Gibbs knew that he may never earn Tony's forgiveness. He didn't deserve it. After years of mistreating Tony, then not being able to pull it together and treat him right after he nearly died...

Gibbs leaned in to kiss Tony on the shoulder. The poor guy deserved so much better than Gibbs gave him. Sighing, Gibbs rested his head on the pillow, wishing he could stop living up to the second "b" in his name.

"Jet."

Gibbs' eyes startled open at the sound of Tony's voice. Was Tony trying to say his name?

Clicking on the lamp, Gibbs sat up. He then gently put a hand on Tony's arm, rolling the younger man over to face him. He was met by a pair of bright emerald eyes staring at him.

"Tony? Did you say something?" Gibbs asked hopefully.

"Jeh...J-Jet-wo."


	15. Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that, if you want to read updates to this story a day or so early, you can do so if you follow me on LJ.
> 
> http://thepeachymonkey.livejournal.com/
> 
> And if you love Tony as much as I do, I encourage you to join my new LJ community, being Tony DiNozzo. A place for fan fiction, discussion, and sharing in our mutual affection for Tony! I hope to see you there! :)
> 
> http://beingtonyd.livejournal.com/
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey

Tony stared up at Gibbs, unsure just what to make of him anymore. He saw genuine love and concern in those steely blue eyes. Yet, until just hours ago, he was barely treating him like a human being. Not an adult one, anyway.

Thoughts and emotions overwhelmed Tony and, as Gibbs manipulated Tony's body - his fat, freakish, useless body - so that they were facing each other, Tony found his voice.

"J-Jet-wo."

Tony cringed at his baby-like speech, averting his eyes from Gibbs' gaze.

"Hey." Gibbs cupped Tony's cheek, staring at him intently. "I'm proud of you," he cooed.

Tony forced himself to once again look at Gibbs. Despite what Gibbs had just said, he couldn't be sure if the older man was gazing at him with pride or pity.

Tony just shook his head as he turned away, stifling a sob.

"Shh...it's okay," Gibbs whispered calmly, a hand gently resting on Tony's cheek, coaxing the pregnant man to once again look at him.

Tony's breathing slowly steadied, and he felt Gibbs' hand lovingly brush his cheek in a comforting gesture.

"You're doing so well, Tony. Taking such good care of our baby."

Tony once again shook his head.

"Oos-yess."

Tony hated the way he sounded. So awkward and babyish.

"No. No, you're not useless, Tony", Gibbs soothed, giving Tony's arm a reassuring squeeze before he proceeded to massage his belly. "You're providing a home for our baby to grow. And you're doing a great job. Do you realize that in spite of all you have been through, she has never experience any fetal distress? Right now, she has all that she needs inside your womb. You may feel powerless, but you are sustaining a life, inside your body. How many other men born in the 20th century do you know who can do that?"

Tony's muffled sobs had died down to whimpers. He brought his hand down to touch Gibbs'. Their hands now resting on Tony's belly, the baby's lively kicks seemed to punctuate Gibbs' reassuring words.

"Right now, there is no one who is more important than you," Gibbs told Tony. Wiping away Tony's tears, Gibbs then left warm kisses where the tears has been, as if to somehow soothe his lover.

"I have a feeling I'm gonna have to throw out rule number 6 entirely when it comes to you, Tony," Gibbs sighed. "Because there's a lot I need to apologize for. Tony, I'm sorry I've been such a bastard to you over the years. I'm sorry for all of the hurtful comments I've made. I'm sorry for not appreciating all that you contribute to the team. And I'm sorry...I'm sorry I never bothered to notice how much you're hurting." Gibbs finished, his voice shaking.

Tony blinked, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Gibbs has just apologized. He had just done a lot of apologizing! What was happening? The handsome and caring older man in front of him looked like Gibbs. But he sure as hell didn't sound like him.

"Jet-wo?" Tony reached a shaking hand out to touch Gibbs' face. The touch was weak. As if a very small child were trying to comfort their parent. But Tony was a fully grown man, simply trying to make sense of a perplexing scene.

Gibbs latched onto the hand touching his face, kissing it. "Tony, I can't promise I won't screw up again. I probably will," Gibbs admitted. " But I'm gonna do my best from now on to take better care of you. I really don't wanna hurt you again."

"Yuh..." Tony began, stopping himself almost as soon as the sound left his mouth.

"What is it, Tony?" Gibbs asked patiently, noting Tony's frustration.

Tony shook his head. He couldn't speak again. He would only sound foolish.

Gibbs leaned in, kissing Tony's trembling lips. "Tony, your speech doesn't need to be perfect. I just want to hear what you have to say," Gibbs encouraged. He hoped that Tony knew there would be no judgement from him. Only love.

Looking back up at Gibbs, Tony slowly, hesitantly concentrated, forcing the words out of his mouth.

"Yuh..yuv you," he finally said, grimacing at the sound.

Gibbs' smile couldn't be any bigger as he heard the words escape Tony's lips, and a mixture of relief and pride washed over him. "I love you too," he said, giving Tony one more kiss before rolling him back over onto his side and positioning the pregnancy pillow between his arms and legs.

Wrapping his arm around Tony, Gibbs circled his lover's belly, enveloping Tony in the warmth of his love.

Sighing contentedly, Tony's eyes fluttered shut, and it wasn't long before both men were sleeping peacefully.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Monday morning was all about choices for Tony. Gibbs, Jack, Ianto, Tosh and Owen wanted to making sure that Tony felt he had at least a little control over his life. While he was unable to care for himself, he could still voice his preferences, thanks to the "talk tech", as Tony called it, that Tosh had so generously designed for him. And this new found freedom of expression gave Tony hope in a life that had made him feel far too helpless recently.

Sitting in front of the full length mirror. Tony examined his reflection. His first choice of the day had been to select an outfit for himself. Dressed in a light blue jumper and a pair of surprisingly stylish navy blue sweatpants, Tony was reminded what a kind and devoted friend Ianto was. The Welshman had sewn zippers into the side of all of Tony's pants, so that he could wear them over his catheter. It must have been a lot of work, and taken a lot of care. Unless one looked really closely, they wouldn't mistake the zipper for anything other than a seam.

Still, Tony couldn't help feeling a bit mournful any time he caught sight of himself. Large and round, hooked up to the oxygen tank attached to his wheelchair, he didn't recognize himself anymore. He felt hideous! When did he become such a helpless freak? Such a burden to everyone around him? Tony had been taking care of himself since he was 12. He had never needed anyone before and hated being at the mercy of others. And he was sure they would much rather be doing just about anything than taking care of him.

Tony noted the concerned expressions on Gibbs, Jack and Ianto's faces. They were the ones responsible for Tony's basic care. The bathing, dressing and so on. They were the only ones he felt comfortable enough to entrust those responsibilities to. Tony didn't want to add to their burden by letting on how sad he was. So he painted on a smile and typed a request into his device.

[ "I want breakfast." ]

Ianto nodded, smiling as he observed the proud look on Tony's face. "Would you like to select today's menu," he asked.

[ "Yes." ]

Jack and Ianto exchanged glances as Gibbs wheeled Tony away and they all made their way to meet Tosh and Owen in the kitchen. Tony seemed so much happier now that he could be included in conversations again. His language may not be perfect. Even when using the device, he couldn't always structure sentences properly. It took him a lot of effort, but at least he was able to get his thoughts across, even if they were often simple.

Once in the kitchen, Ianto and Tosh laid out various foods on the table, asking Tony to select what they should make for breakfast. Eventually, through a combination of hand motions and his talk tech, he selected bagels, eggs and orange juice. Narrowing it down to specifics, he was able to tell them that he wanted the eggs scrambled, and the bagels buttered.

As he watched Ianto and Tosh cook, while Gibbs, Jack and Owen looked after him, Tony felt gratitude wash over him. Just the day before, he had been so angry and frustrated. Tosh's talk tech helped to change that. Yes, the frustration was still present, but to a far lesser degree. Tony was being included again. Surrounded by people who cared about him, he tried to remind himself that they were doing the very best they could to better help and understand him.

Once breakfast was prepared, feeding Tony was a joint effort. Though Tony was unable to grasp food between his fingers very well, once Gibbs placed it in his hand, he was able to get it into his mouth. Often with a bit of mess. Sometimes he even missed. But nobody dared take away any bit of the minimal self sufficiency that Tony still had left. Moreover, it seemed that he was less clumsy with every new attempt, which was rather encouraging.

Drinks, and food that required the use of utensils, were fed to Tony.

After everyone had finished eating, Tony decided to take the initiative and made a suggestion for the next morning activity.

"Ba-by," he said softly, as Jack wiped some crumbs off of his chin.

Everyone turned their attention to Tony in surprise. Apart from Gibbs, the others had not yet heard Tony's attempts at speech.

"What about the baby?" Jack asked, looking up.

Tony decided to challenge himself further. He'd just have to get over his own self conscious embarrassment if he was ever going to speak again.

"Nah...mmm..." Tony screwed up his face in concentration, trying not to let his frustration get the better of him.

"Nah-mmm ba-by."

"You want to name the baby?" Jack guessed.

Tony nodded.

Gibbs sat down on the other side of Tony, smiling patiently. "Sure. We can do that today," Gibbs said agreeably. "Did you have a name in mind?"

Once again, Tony nodded. "Imm...Immi...jee..." Tony thrashed slightly, frustrated at his mind and mouth for betraying him.

Coming up behind Tony's wheelchair, Tosh gently put her hand over his, guiding it to the talk tech. "It's okay, Tony. Just be patient with yourself. Use this to tell us," she told him warmly, putting his hand on the device.

With a grateful smile, Tony glanced up and Tosh and nodded before typing out his response.

[ "Imogen." ]

"Imogen? That's a lovely name!" Ianto exclaimed, gently squeezing Tony's shoulder. "What made you choose it?"

Tony remained silent for moment, seeming to ponder his answer before he slowly typed on the screen.

[ "Sister." ]

"Sister? Whose sister?" Tosh asked.

[ "Mine." ]

"But I thought you were an only child," Gibbs said, perplexed.

Tony bit his bottom lip, as he blinked back the tears welling up in his eyes.

[ "Imogen gone." ]

No one was quite sure how to respond. Tony seemed genuinely upset, as if he were remembering something painful. But none of them, not even Gibbs, knew anything about Tony having a sister.

[ "I want alone. I want sleep." ]

"But Tony, you only just woke up - " Owen began.

[ "Sleep." ]

No one argued with him, though it seemed obvious that his need for sleep had nothing to do with his wish to be left alone. Lately, Tony's moods seemed to shift dramatically from one moment to the next and, though he had chosen the name Imogen for the baby, something about it seemed to remind him of an unhappy time in his life.

"All right," Jack finally agreed, exchanging a look with Gibbs. "Jethro and I will take you to bed.

As Jack and Gibbs wheeled Tony away, Tosh set her laptop on the table.

"It seems I need to dig further into Tony's background,"she said. She had managed to pull up Tony's personal health history, and she'd read up on Tony's parents. But she hadn't seen anything about a sibling, and she had never thought to look into it, simply trusting what she had been told.

※

Several minutes later, Gibbs and Jack returned to find the mood of the room somber.

"What's going on?" Jack asked, taking a seat next to Ianto at the table.

Tosh reached across the table and squeezed Jack's hand, smiling sadly at him.

"You would have had a granddaughter, Jack. Your daughter, Annabelle, also gave birth to a little girl, whose name was, as you must have guessed, Imogen. But...unfortunately, the child was stillborn. She never had a chance...Tony was only 5 years old when it happened."

Jack sat in silence, taking in this new information. He had never had the chance to know Imogen, just as he had never known her mother - his own daughter. But the bond of family could still be felt. The loss of not knowing still affected Jack. More importantly, the trauma Annabelle had suffered in losing this child had clearly left a lasting impression on young Tony, if the fact that he had never spoken of her to anybody was any indication of it.

"Jack? Are you all right?" a concerned Ianto asked, pulling his body close to Jacks, and practically sitting in the older man's lap as he looked at him with worry.

Jack looked up at Ianto, smiling, though his eyes were brimming with tears.

"Yeah," he said, his voice breathy. "But I think I'm overdue for another heart to heart with my grandson."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

5 year old Tony paused in the doorway to the hospital room, waiting to see if his father was going to follow him inside. But the elder DiNozzo remained a few steps behind him. He looked annoyed and uncomfortable, his face frozen in a stormy mask. Simply mumbling something about having to make an important business call, he left the little boy alone see his mother.

Tony just stood at the door for a minute, unsure of how to proceed. Though he was too young to fully understand what was happening, Tony was a clever enough boy to know something was wrong. Very wrong. And his father's attitude wasn't one to be expected from a "normal" dad.

His mother, unaware she was being watched, was crying softly. He'd never seen his mommy cry before. She was always the one to comfort him when he was sad. Seeing her like this, Tony felt afraid. Only something really bad could make his mommy cry.

"Mommy?" Tony called to her, his voice small and uncertain.

Annabelle looked up, smiling at her son through her tears. "Tony. Come here, baby," she urged, patting the small space next to her on the bed, just big enough for a young child to fit.

Tony climbed onto the bed beside Annabelle, clinging to her protectively. She always held him and gave him comfort when he was sad. Today, he was going to do the same for her.

"Where's the baby?" Tony asked, looking up at his mother as she pulled him close, wrapping her arms lovingly around him.

"Baby Imogen is with the angels, Tony," Annabelle said thickly, while hurriedly trying to wipe her damp cheeks with the back of her hand.

"Why, mommy?" Tony asked, blinking. "Why did Imogen go with the angels? Is she mad at us?"

"No, baby." Annabelle kissed the top of Tony's head, running her fingers through his light hair. "Baby Imogen is going to help the angels watch over us and keep us safe."

"Oh." Tony reached his tiny hand up to his mother's cheek, wiping away one forgotten stray tear. "Did Imogen make you cry?" he asked, almost angrily. He hated to see his mommy sad.

Annabelle laughed softly, in an attempt to reassure Tony. "No, baby. I'm okay. Now I have two angels with me. One in heaven, and one here on earth."

"Who's your angel on earth, mommy?" Tony asked, looking up with big, wondering eyes.

"You are, sweetie," Annabelle replied, giving her son an affectionate squeeze.

Tony smiled proudly. Then a thought occurred to him. "Mommy, if I'm an angel, why am I here, and not in heaven with the other angels?"

"Because this is where I need you, baby," Annabelle said lovingly.

"Mommy? Is Imogen staying with the angels?"

"Yes, Tony" Annabelle sighed. "She is."

"Not me," Tony said importantly, snuggling deeper into his mother's embrace. "I'm staying with mommy!"

"And I'm staying with you, baby," Annabelle promised. "Even when we're not together, I'll always be right here. "She lightly tapped Tony's chest. "In your heart."


	16. A Child's View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding how Tony types, given his speech problems, I figured it would also make sense if he knew in his mind what he wanted to say, but, even with the device, struggled with the right way to say it. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, that's why his typing sometimes seems stiff and childish. (Though he obviously still has the mind of an adult) That, and it would take some effort for him to type.
> 
> Also, this week, I actually posted this chapter TWO days early on LiveJournal! Follow me if you don't like waiting. :)
> 
> http://thepeachymonkey.livejournal.com/
> 
> And if you love and adore Tony, I hope that you'll come and be a part of my new LJ community, Being Tony DiNozzo!
> 
> http://beingtonyd.livejournal.com/
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey

Tony's eyes fluttered open as he felt warm breath on his neck, and fingers carding through his hair. Looking up, he saw Gibbs smiling down at him.

"Hey. Didn't meant to wake you," Gibbs whispered almost apologetically as he kissed the top of Tony's head.

Tony smiled, blinking himself into wakefulness. Looking in front of him, Tony saw Jack sitting in the recliner at his bedside. A magazine, which he had obviously been reading, was resting in his lap.

"Do you know why we're here, Tony?" Jack asked, his tone gentle and non confrontational.

Tony nodded reluctantly. He hated feeling put on the spot.

"Imm-ji," he murmured.

Jack nodded. "That's right. Tony, no one wants to make you feel uncomfortable. And I don't want to sound selfish but... I'd like to know more about the granddaughter I never had the chance to meet. Her loss was obviously a memorable, yet painful part of your life...and your mother's."

Tony closed his eyes and sighed. He hadn't spoken of Imogen in years. Not since his mother had died. The memory was too painful. He was only a small child at the time, so he didn't fully understand the situation. But he understood that his mommy was very sad. And his family was never the same after the loss. It was like a dark curtain had been drawn over their lives. After Annabelle's death, Tony's father had Imogen's birth record sealed, and ordered Tony never to mention her name again. So it had been over 30 years, and the hurt now felt fresh again.

But Jack was family. More than his own father had ever been. Family who had taken Tony in before he was even aware of their connection. The grandparent he hadn't known about, and a true reminder of his mother. Jack deserved to know what happened.

Tony finally nodded his consent.

"Thank you," Jack said softly, giving Tony a kiss on his forehead as he and Gibbs helped him sit up.

※

In the family room, everyone had tried to create an environment where Tony could feel at ease. If he was going to relive a painful memory from his past, they didn't want him to feel forced to do so. They didn't want Tony to feel as if he were being interrogated. After all, he'd been brave enough to bring up Imogen in the first place, thus indicating the extraordinary level of trust he felt towards those close to him. They intended to honor that trust by providing a comfortable setting where he could feel safe opening up.

So at first, everyone just sat, chatting casually. Ianto had purchased Tony's favorite strawberry cheesecake from the bakery, and Gibbs fed Tony a slice while everyone else sipped espressos. Tony couldn't help but to laugh when Gibbs confessed to Ianto that he could never go back to his old brew after tasting the Welshman's amazing coffee. If Tony hadn't heard it himself, he never would have believed it. He thought that Gibbs would be drinking that bitter swill forever.

After Tony had swallowed his last bite of cheesecake, he felt Gibbs' loving gaze on him.

"You ready now?" Gibbs asked.

Tony nodded. He was quiet for a moment, calling back old memories and trying to separate facts from emotions. He had never had the chance to work through what had happened when he was a kid. It wasn't until just before his mother died that he was truly aware of what had happened to baby Imogen. So even now, as an adult, his mind processed the memory as a 5 year old. In spite of the years that had passed, he still vividly remembered his mother crying; trying to hide the tears when she saw Tony. Holding onto him like he was the most precious of treasures. Making him feel like he was her entire world.

Worried a prolonged silence might cause the others concern, Tony finally began typing into his device.

[ "I was 5 years old. So happy! Have baby sister!" ]

Tony's smile was child-like and innocent. As if recalling the memory had taken him back to that time. And Jack found himself smiling as well, imagining what his young grandson might have been like. But his face fell when he saw a sadness mixed in with the innocence. Tony was beginning to look upset and distressed.

[ "When Imogen was born, dad take me to see her. Excited! But dad frowning. Look sad? Angry? Can't say. Dad not right." ]

Screwing up his face in concentration, Tony now made an attempt at speech.

"I...see...ma. B-but...da...g-go!"

"When you went in to see your mother, your father left?" Toshiko asked, leaning forward.

Tony nodded his confirmation. "Da...say...c-cah..." He held his hand to his ear, as if making a phone call.

"Your dad said he had to go make a phone call?" Ianto translated.

Tony nodded again, typing into his talk tech.

[ "But mom is crying. Why does dad make call? He not there. So I stay with mom. She hugs me. Say Imogen is with angels in heaven. Look after us. Say I am angel on earth." ]

Tony put a hands to his cheek, wiping away a tear as it started to fall.

[ "Dad never around. When around he is yelling. Tell mom was her fault Imogen gone. But was not! She was good mom! Dad make her cry more. But I remember! I am angel too! So mom and me always together. I always tell joke. Make her laugh. I like to see mom happy. Want her to always be happy! She say I am light in her heart." ]

Tony paused, his expression becoming even sadder.

[" Then mom gone. With Imogen in heaven. I try make dad happy. But he does not want me. Can't make dad happy. Never." ]

Tony's tired fingers drifted off of the device, his head falling forward as he cried. His breath came in short, strained hiccups, and for a minute, it looked like he might stop breathing altogether.

Fearing another coma, and what further damage that might do to Tony, Gibbs rubbed soothing circles on his belly, in an effort to calm him. Meanwhile, Owen checked Tony's oxygen level.

"Shh...it's okay, Tony," Gibbs cooed. "Your mom was damn lucky to have her little angel with her after losing Imogen. The way I see it, you were her greatest gift."

Tony's breathing slowly steadied as he looked up at Gibbs, noting that he was talking to him the way he would a small child he was trying to comfort. And yet, there was nothing condescending or disrespectful about it. Gibbs simply wanted to help make him feel better. And Tony knew that he meant every word he said.

"Seems to me you and your mom have a lot in common," Gibbs continued, smiling. "Always taking care of others. Trying to make them smile. I finally understand why you do it."

Tony put his hand to his belly, stilling it on top of Gibbs' hand. He'd never thought of it that way. But maybe he really had been a sort of caregiver all these years. Always doing whatever he could to ensure the happiness of those around him, why he silently suffered. Living his life as the sad clown.

"Just remember that the happiness of others is not your responsibility, or your burden," Jack added, taking a seat on a nearby chair. "You're not alone, Tony. Not anymore."

Looking around at the loving faces surrounding him, Tony couldn't argue with that. Feeling a sense of belonging, Tony knew that he had finally found his family.


	17. Beautiful

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"Jethro! You about done in there?" Jack asked through the door.

"Can't you just use one of the other bathrooms?" Gibbs asked, irritated. He was so close to release. Why did Jack have to disturb him now?"

"Sorry, but in case you've forgotten, Tony is in need of a shower, and this bathroom is the only one modified to accommodate him," Ianto chimed in.

Gibbs sighed and threw his head backwards. Tony. Gorgeous Tony would soon once again be naked before him. Gibbs would be able to put his hands all over those soft, round curves. And yet, he hadn't been able to enter that sweet ass in months. Others might think Gibbs was crazy, but the bigger Tony got, the more turned on he became! Worst of all, they had barely made love half a dozen of times before Tony got too sick. To Gibbs, it felt like discovering the best cake shop ever, only to be told that you're diabetic and not allowed to touch any of the treats in the shop. Pure torture!

Additionally, pregnancy seemed to enhance the best of Tony's features. His eyes shone a brighter emerald. His lips appeared more red and full. Tony had always been an attractive man. But now, he was a level of man pretty beyond what Gibbs' sexually frustrated libido could handle.

Which was what put him in his current position: left to satisfy his own needs, alone in the bathroom, like a horny teenager.

"Just give me five minutes, okay?" Gibbs requested.

"Sure", Jack agreed. "But no longer than that. We've already undressed Tony, and we don't want him to get a chill."

"Got it," Gibbs said, a strain in his voice as his aching cock throbbed in his hands.

Once Gibbs was sure he had some privacy again, the image of his naked, pregnant lover played in his head, as he pumped his shaft, releasing pent up sexual frustration and bringing himself to completion. It wasn't as satisfying as being inside Tony. Not by a long shot. There was nothing quite like the warmth of Tony's hole hugging Gibbs' cock; the music of Tony's moans, singing Gibbs to completion. His release spilling into Tony, filling him. But at this point, Gibbs would take whatever relief he could get.  
Still, he thought, there had to be a better way.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Gibbs felt an ache tugging at his heart as he watched Tony staring at his reflection, while Ianto fixed his hair. He could see Tony fighting back tears, regarding himself with what looked to be disdain. 

Tony didn't notice his brilliant green eyes, plump and pouty lips, or soft, inviting curves. He didn't see the radiant glow of his skin. No. It was obvious that Tony was not forgiving or accepting of his appearance. 

Instead of seeing his soft, glowing skin, or strikingly beautiful features, all Tony noticed was the nasal cannula now prominently displayed on his face.

Instead of proudly accepting the round, curvy body that pregnancy had given him - the same body that Gibbs found so irresistible - Tony saw himself as physically freakish and repulsive.

Gibbs often told Tony how beautiful he looked. But he knew that words weren't enough. The problem was, the sex ban Owen had imposed upon them, coupled with Tony's fragile physical state, caused Gibbs to worry about the smallest amount of intimacy between them.

But it was intimacy that they both needed. Gibbs could have continued to take care of his own needs behind closed doors, however unsatisfying that may be. But Tony needed to know that he was attractive and desirable. So many things had changed for him since becoming pregnant. He'd lost his strength and independence, he struggled to communicate, and his once athletic body was now plump and swollen.

Something had to be done, Gibbs decided.

"Tony, I'll meet you in the kitchen in a few minutes, all right?" Gibbs informed him, kissing the top of his head. "There's something I need to take care of."

Tony nodded hesitantly, giving Gibbs a questioning look.

"Hey. Don't worry. Everything's fine," Gibbs assured Tony, cupping his face, before turning his attention to Ianto. "You need anything before I go?"

Ianto shook his head. "I think I can manage getting Tony to the kitchen on my own," he smirked.

"Okay," Gibbs laughed. Leaning over, he gave Tony one more kiss before leaving the bathroom. "I love you, Tony."

"Yuv you," Tony called after him.

※

"Owen," Gibbs greeted the doctor, who was at his desk, looking over some papers. Though Owen had always shown Gibbs and Tony only respect and genuine concern, Gibbs couldn't help feeling intimidated whenever he met those dark, piercing eyes. There was something in the ghost's look which made Gibbs feel as if Owen was reading his mind. Given the circumstances, Gibbs truly hoped he wasn't.

"Yeah?" Owen looked up distractedly. Standing as he saw Gibbs in his doorway, he motioned for him to step into the office. 

Gibbs remained stubbornly silent. Owen, growing impatient, finally spoke. "You need something?"

"I do," Gibbs answered as he entered, his eyes glued to the floor. The cogs of his brain were turning at full speed as he desperately tried to formulate his request without sounding ridiculous and needy. 

There was an awkward pause, and the smirk on Owen's face told Gibbs he had already guessed where the conversation was headed.

"Tony and I...I know that sex is out of the question. But..."

It took every bit of willpower Owen possessed to keep himself from laughing. Gibbs always maintained such a calm and cool demeanor. To see him awkwardly stammering like a nervous teenager was a rare bit of comedy. 

"That doesn't mean you can't be intimate," Owen finally said, taking mercy on Gibbs. "Tony's cervix is tight, so as long as you're not having sex - or asking Tony to use his mouth in a way that might obstruct his breathing - there's no reason you can't give each other pleasure."

"Oh...All right, then," Gibbs said with a cool nod, his attempt to appear nonchalant barely concealing his relief and excitement. "Thanks."

Though he'd attempted to make his abrupt exit look smooth, Owen noticed the hurried, almost embarrassed nature of it.

"Just use your imaginations!" an amused Owen called after Gibbs, laughing to himself as he noticed that the former marine seemed to walk away faster at those words. 

※

Gibbs entered the kitchen, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of what he could do to Tony - within limits, of course. These thoughts, along with the sight of Tony wrapping his lips around the banana that Ianto was feeding him, were enough to make Gibbs' cock twitch and his knees buckle.

Once Ianto had finished feeding Tony the banana, he smiled knowingly up at Gibbs. It seemed that, like Owen, Ianto had a pretty good idea what had been preoccupying Gibbs' thoughts.

"I'll get your coffee," Ianto said with a smile, freeing up his seat next to Tony for Gibbs. "And Tony? Perhaps now is a good time to tell Jethro what you just told me."

"And what is that?" Gibbs asked, sitting down.

Reaching for his device, Tony slowly sorted out his thoughts as he typed.

[ "I want to go date." ]

"A date, huh?" Gibbs put his arm around Tony, squeezing gently as he gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Yeah, I don't see why not. A change of scenery might do you some good," Gibbs remarked agreeably. "We'll just need to clear it with Owen and Ducky first."

"Tony already cleared it with them," Ianto informed Gibbs, placing his coffee on the table. "They said it's fine, so long as you're not too long."

Gibbs nodded graciously at Ianto, taking his first blissful sip of coffee. "Well, in that case...what did you have in mind, Tony?"

"Moo-vie," Tony said with effort.

"Well, no surprise there," Gibbs laughed. "What did you want to see?"

" 'The Big Sleep' is playing at the AFI Silver Theatre," Jack answered for Tony. "I took the liberty of getting you tickets for Friday afternoon. Tosh and Owen will remain on standby in the area, in case there's an emergency."

"You mean they'll be following us on our date?" Gibbs asked, not sure whether to be relieved or annoyed.

"Not exactly," Tosh laughed, as she began setting the table. "We've made plans of our own. But now you can take Tony out with the comfort of knowing help will available if you need it."

Gibbs looked at Tony, seeing the younger man's face light up with excitement and anticipation in a way it hadn't in a very long time. The truth was, it would do Tony some good to get out. Hell, it would be good for both of them. Even though Gibbs was free to come and go as he pleased, he was hesitant to leave Tony's side. This time, he wouldn't have to.

"Okay. It's a date."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Tony looked around anxiously as Gibbs wheeled him into the theatre, wondering if they had made a mistake going out. He had never been so aware of people whispering, staring or, conversely, looking away uncomfortably.

He knew that no one would suspect he was pregnant. There was no mistaking that he looked pregnant. He couldn't hide that if he wanted to. But nobody would ever accept the reality of a man carrying a child. To them, he was probably just a fat, sick man in a wheelchair. It was just...everything! Tony didn't want this kind of attention. And he didn't want pity. All he wanted was to enjoy an afternoon at the movies with the man he loved.

But there was a part of Tony, in the back of his mind, that wondered if he was imagining the unwanted reactions. Perhaps he really was just a random stranger that other people passed, not giving him much thought afterwards. Maybe he was overthinking things.

As if reading Tony's mind, Gibbs leaned in and whispered reassuringly. 

"Just focus on me, Tony. And focus on the movie. Today is about us."

As Gibbs parked Tony's wheelchair in the space behind the railing at the back of the theatre and sat down beside him, Tony focused on the older man's eyes; a gentle, reassuring blue ocean. And Tony felt himself calm. He was safe. He was loved. He was with a man who at this moment only wanted for him to be happy.

Tony felt a calloused hand gently squeeze his hand, and as the lights went down, he gave himself permission to enjoy the day. To be happy.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Gibbs sat at Tony's bedside, quietly reading while his lover slept. They'd had a good time on their date. Once Tony had stopped being so self conscious and was able to relax, Gibbs could see true happiness on his face. And he knew that his pregnant lover had appreciated the opportunity to get out. 

After the movie, a ravenous Tony insisted they stop for cheeseburgers, fries and milkshakes at the drive-thru, which Gibbs fed him in the parked car. Dinner on the go wasn't exactly what most would call a romantic meal. But this was the meal that Tony wanted. As far as Gibbs was concerned, giving the person you love what they want was the most romantic thing of all.

But the outing had taken a lot out of Tony, and he'd requested a nap the moment they returned. And after everything his body had been through, nobody was going to deny him some much needed rest.

As for Gibbs, he craved the quiet. Taking Tony out of the house was quite a project. Right now, he contented himself with watching Tony sleep.

Mid paragraph, Gibbs had started to doze off himself when he heard a soft whimper. His eyes popped open, and he listened carefully as the whimpers escalated to distressed sobs. 

Gibbs shot up out of the recliner and was at Tony's side in a moment. Any sign of irregular breathing from Tony sent Gibbs into a panic. Thinking of how just weeks ago, he had nearly lost Tony to a coma. He thought of the damage the oxygen deprivation had done, and found himself wondering if Tony would ever talk again.

Thinking further back, Gibbs recalled Tony bathed in blue light, struggling through every painful breath. Nearly killed by the plague. His lungs now permanently scarred.

Gibbs couldn't help feeling overprotective. Like Tony's every breath was borrowed, and he could at any moment be taken away.

Now, Gibbs simply brushed his thumb gently across Tony's face, wiping away the tears. Leaning in, he kissed Tony, stilling the younger man's wobbling lower lip. Wondering how he could be so upset after such a good day.

"What's the matter?" Gibbs asked softly. "Bad dream?"

"W-ww...I...y-yuh..."Tony stammered. His eyes squinted shut tightly, face twisted in frustration as he weakly punched at his pillow.

"It's okay...calm down," Gibbs said with understanding. "Do you want to go to your wheelchair? Use your device to talk to me?"

Tony nodded.

"All right...easy..." Gibbs helped Tony to sit up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. 

With Gibbs' assistance, Tony stood up and slowly waddled over to the wheelchair. Gibbs gently eased Tony into the chair, looking at him and wondering how much bigger he could possibly get before he popped. 

Tony was dressed in only a pair of red sweatpants, and his naked upper half caused Gibbs to quiver with desire. 

Tony's skin, velvet smooth and buttery soft beneath Gibbs' hands as he settled Tony into a sitting position.

The perfect roundness of Tony's belly, obscuring where his lap should have been; sitting atop where the child within that belly would one day rest to cuddle with her mother.

Tony's chest, now hairless save for a fine down, displaying large, red nipples.

Gibbs licked his lips. Wanting, needing to touch that body! But first, Tony needed Gibbs to listen to him. And Tony's needs were priority.

Gibbs had abandoned his gruff, impatient persona with Tony. Probably for good. The knowledge of how his words and actions had wounded Tony in the past would forever haunt him, and he would spend the rest of the days they had together trying to make up for that.

"What's the matter, Tony?" Gibbs asked, guiding Tony's hand to his talking device.

Tony hesitated for a moment, fingers trembling. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he finally typed. The words came out more as a purging of emotion than a coherent thought.

[ "Ugly, disgusting freak. Stupid, useless thing. Hate live like this. Hate needing help. Sad." ]

With each word spoken through the computerized voice, Gibbs' heart broke a little more. Going out was a nice distraction. There was no denying that Tony had fun on their date. But it did nothing to change the hatred he felt for himself. The powerlessness and depression that he had no choice but to confront in his helpless state.

"Hey, Tony. No." Gibbs grabbed Tony's hand away from the keyboard, interlacing their fingers. Blue eyes staring into teary green. 

Gibbs searched for the right words, realizing anything he said would be empty and meaningless. Tony was too wrapped up in his own sadness to believe any words of praise or encouragement. 

Almost unaware of the movement, Gibbs' hands slowly moved to Tony's chest, index fingers teasingly circling the younger man's nipples.

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. It was time to get tactile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We were both very sick this past week, but we still wanted to stay on schedule for you guys. And we tried to do our best work here. Hopefully, we didn't disappoint, despite the fact that we were tired and groggy.
> 
> My LJ: 
> 
> http://thepeachymonkey.livejournal.com/
> 
> Being Tony DiNozzo (my community):
> 
> http://beingtonyd.livejournal.com/
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey


	18. Take Care Of His Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that I sound like a broken record, but I do hope you'll join me over at my new LiveJournal community, Being Tony DiNozzo. (Where we seem to love Tony more than the people who make the show do. ) If you love Tony, have slashy tendencies, and are strongly opposed to Tiva, you'll feel right at home there! ;)
> 
> http://beingtonyd.livejournal.com/
> 
> Also, if you follow me on LJ, you'll see updates to this story a day (or two) early! :)
> 
> http://thepeachymonkey.livejournal.com/
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey

Gibbs traced Tony's nipples, smirking as the younger man stared at him with bewildered curiosity. Tony's eyes closed, and his thoughts appeared clouded as Gibbs added his thumbs to the mix; twisting his nipples into hard, pointy pebbles.

Tony let out a soft, blissful moan as Gibbs continued to play with his right nipple, while simultaneously teasing the left with his tongue for a minute, before fully taking it into his mouth.

The low, quivering moans were arousing in themselves, and Gibbs could feel his cock painfully straining against his pants, a bit of pre cum staining them. It had been so long since they had been intimate, and felt this connected to one another.

Taking Tony deeper into his mouth, Gibbs was surprised to taste a burst of sweet liquid. His heart leapt at the thought of what it was. He'd never have imagined it could be possible, but once again Tony seemed likely to defy the odds. He and Tony could talk about that later. But right now...this was all about satisfying Tony and giving him back some self-confidence.

"Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?" Gibbs asked huskily, before switching his mouth over to Tony's right nipple, and playing with his left. Once again, he tasted a creamy sweet burst; a reminder that Tony was a living miracle. "Do you know how hard it is for me to stay away from you? To keep my hands off of you?"

Coming up for air, Gibbs just stared for a moment, admiring Tony's beautiful features.

"Gorgeous!" Gibbs marveled. "Green eyes, shining like jewels." Gibbs lightly brushed away Tony's tears with his thumb. "I just wish these eyes weren't always crying. I wish you knew how incredible you are."

Tony sniffled, and his bottom lip quivered. Gibbs took the opportunity to lightly trace Tony's lips, effectively stilling them.

"And these lips. Full and luscious! I -"

Tony surprised Gibbs by capturing his finger in his mouth, wrapping his lips around it and sucking in a suggestive manner. The lustful, needy look that Tony shot Gibbs made him squirm, as his straining erection ached for release.

As Gibbs watched him, mesmerized, Tony continued to work his magic, sucking and skillfully working his tongue on Gibbs' digit in a surprisingly arousing manner before releasing it with a pop.

Gibbs sat up on the bed, gladdened by the ghost of a smile on Tony's face.

"Up!" the younger man ordered, lifting his arms weakly, before they plopped back uselessly onto his belly.

Gibbs did as he was told, standing before Tony, staring down as the pregnant man clumsily pawed at his waistband.

"Pahss da!" Tony ordered, and it was easy enough for Gibbs to figure out that he was expected to pull his pants down.

"No, Tony," Gibbs regretfully protested. "Sucking on my finger was one thing. But oral sex...It could get intense. I don't want to block your airway."

"No! Deez!" Tony held up his hands, indicating that he was offering a hand job, not oral sex.

"Oh...all right, then." With a crooked grin, Gibbs undid his fly, then pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift move.

Tony's hand was loose around Gibbs, moving weakly and clumsily along the older man's shaft. It could hardly compare to Tony's former sexual prowess, but to Gibbs, it was still incredibly satisfying. He couldn't help feeling like a man dying of thirst, suddenly faced with a shimmering oasis. While it wasn't the same as burying himself deep within Tony's ass, simply having Tony's flesh around him in any form was a welcome sensation.

Gibbs' mind focused on the sensation of Tony's hand around him, his eyes hypnotized by the beauty of Tony's features. It didn't take long for him to lose control, spilling his orgasm all over Tony's hand.

Pulling his hand away from Gibbs' now softening cock, Tony brought his hand up to his mouth with what looked suspiciously like a smug smile, licking his fingers in a suggestive way that drove Gibbs mad. Taking each finger into his mouth individually. Sucking, pulling and licking as his eyes rolled into the back of his head, savoring the flavor of Gibbs' juices in his mouth. Normally, Gibbs would have blurted out some scathing remark in response to Tony's apparent smugness. But this time, he kept quiet, too happy to see his lover enjoy his sway on him and regain some confidence in his power of seduction.

Once Tony had finished cleaning himself off, his green eyes stared straight into Gibbs' soul with a come hither stare.

"Kiss," Tony ordered, and Gibbs happily complied, leaning in and tasting himself on Tony's tongue.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Ianto was enjoying a rare moment of quiet, sipping tea and reading the newspaper. While it was true that everyone else in the house - with the exception of Gibbs - got their news online, Ianto was, as Tony had observed when they had first met, "old school." Ianto laughed softly at the memory as he brought the cup to his lips.

Not that he was opposed to modernity. On the contrary. Working for Torchwood, he had access to the most advanced technology, and he couldn't deny that it was pretty useful most of the time. Especially when dealing with a 20th century born pregnant man.

No, it was rather an acquired taste.

Spending his youth stuck between the walls of a gloomy council estate, where the only distraction consisted of occasional trips to The Electro, had left Ianto with a thirst for the affluence, refinement, and elegance his former environment was desperately short of. Notions which remained firmly associated in his mind with an old fashioned imagery of tailor-made suits, good china... and crisp newspapers.

He didn't deny that he seemed like a man out of place in his own time. Born decades later than he was meant to be. Perhaps that was what drew Jack to him. Having lived through those bygone eras, Jack had a particular affection for them. Maybe there was something about Ianto that reminded Jack of a time long past that a part of him missed.

With a final sip, Ianto neatly folded the newspaper, stood up and washed his cup.

With Jack, Tosh and Owen busy doing research and writing reports for Torchwood, and Gibbs out settling things at NCIS, Tony had been left in Ianto's care. Looking at the clock, the Welshman noted that Tony had been napping for nearly two hours. While he obviously needed the sleep - it seemed sleeping was all he had been doing in his third trimester - Ianto decided that Tony could do with some lunch.

※

Approaching the bedroom with a tray of food for Tony, Ianto tilted his head in curiosity as he heard some strange noises coming from the bedroom. It sounded like Tony was in some kind of distress. Ianto's heart skipped a beat at the thought of what else could possibly go wrong for his lover's grandson.

Walking into the open doorway, Ianto let out an audible sigh of relief as he realized that Tony was simply practicing talking. It sounded awkward, stiff and babyish. But he was trying his very best as he lay on his side with his back to Ianto, and the Welshman had to admit that he was making significant progress.

Hearing Ianto's sigh, Tony attempted a greeting.

"Ahn-to!"

"Hello Tony! Are you hungry?" Ianto asked, setting the tray on the nightstand.

Tony nodded, looking up a little sheepishly at Ianto. "You her me?"

"Yes, Tony," I heard you," Ianto said gently, helping Tony sit up. "Your speech is improving. Well done!"

Ianto helped Tony to his wheelchair and, as the older man sat, he looked down sadly at his belly. Reaching for his talking device, he shook his head.

[ "I sound like baby." ]

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Ianto said kindly, giving Tony a sip of water. "You're having to re-learn how to talk. You're starting all over. It takes actual babies years to learn how to speak properly. Considering that, you are doing exceptionally well."

Tony smiled appreciatively at Ianto at the compliment, though his eyes were still filled with sadness.

Though Ianto hadn't known Tony before he became pregnant, he had heard that he was very different then. His clown's mask firmly in place, Tony presented himself with humor and confidence, pretending nothing on earth could get to him. To some extent, he was still playing that role when Ianto had met him. But over the course of his pregnancy, Tony's mask slipped off. Left literally speechless, and almost completely dependent on others, Tony had no choice but to present his authentic, vulnerable self. There was no more pretending.

Watching sadly as Tony sobbed around the bite of turkey sandwich Ianto had fed him, the Welshman rubbed the back of his neck in a soothing motion.

"Easy, Tony. Mind your breathing." He waiting for Tony to swallow before continuing. "What's on your mind?"

Tony bit his lower lip, fighting back tears as he slowly typed. Jethro wasn't the only one who wished that he'd stop crying. Tony himself wanted to feel calmer and more composed. But no matter how much he tried to put things in perspective, he couldn't help feeling overwhelmed.

[ "I'm scared can't take care of my baby." ]

Ianto wasn't sure how to respond to that. He didn't want to give Tony false hope. While he did truly believe that his weakened state was only temporary, he didn't know for certain. So he simply gave Tony's knee a gentle squeeze, smiling at him warmly.

"Jet-wo has two baby," Tony continued, rubbing his belly. "Imm-ji...'n me!"

Ianto's heart broke at those words. While it could be argued that Tony was indeed helpless as a baby at the moment, Ianto didn't want him to give up on himself.

"Tony, listen to me." Ianto held Tony's head between his hands, forcing the pregnant man to look at him. "The most important thing you can give your daughter is your unconditional love. And I know from the horse's mouth that this is something you have in industrial-scale quantities. After she's born, hold her close. Be present. That's all she'll really need in those early months."

Tony gave Ianto a wavering smile. "Me...nuff?"

"Yes, you are enough, Tony. Absolutely!" Ianto confirmed.

He paused for a second, chewing his lower lip thoughtfully before carrying on.

"You know, when I was a child, my parents provided for me. They played their parts. But that unconditional love was lacking. They were there for me, but they weren't emotionally present. Something was missing. But the love you already have in your heart for this little girl is proof that you are going to be an ideal parent to her. Am I making sense Tony?"

Tony nodded tearfully, reaching out his arms for a hug. "Ahn-to...bess fren."

Leaning over Tony's massive belly, Ianto hugged the man who had become so dear to him. "You're my best friend too, Tony."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

"Jethro! Welcome back!"

Jack looked up from his laptop as Gibbs entered the living room. Though the mansion had become more of a family home, with everyone preparing for the upcoming birth, there was always Torchwood business that needed attending to. But Jack found forms and reports to be especially tedious, and welcomed any distraction.

Gibbs had left for NCIS that morning, to discuss his eventual return to work, and help find a permanent replacement for Tony. With all that had happened to Tony, it was clear that he would never be in any condition to do field work again. His lungs simply weren't strong enough, and it would be awhile before he got his strength back.

"How did it feel to be back at NCIS?" Jack asked, closing his laptop.

Gibbs shrugged, plopping down heavily on the couch next to Jack. "I'll start back at work a few weeks after the baby's born."

"You don't sound too thrilled about that," Jack observed.

"Well, no. I'm not," Gibbs admitted. "I'm gonna be a father again. I have the baby to think of now...and Tony."

"And the job won't be the same without Tony there," Jack guessed.

Gibbs shook his head. "No. It won't. Tony made the job special. Without him, it's just...work." Gibbs sighed heavily. "My priorities have changed. The job doesn't matter to me anymore. Just Tony and our daughter."

"You could retire soon if you wanted to," Jack noted.

Gibbs folded his hands behind his head, leaning back. "Yeah. And I will, in a few years. I just want to make sure the team is in good shape when I leave."

"Tim seems like a capable agent," Jack observed.

"Oh yeah," Gibbs agreed. "McGee's great. If I have my way, he'll take over for me as team leader. It's the rest of the team I'm worried about. The agents they got to replace Tony and me are a joke. They'll be gone as soon as I come back. As for Ziva...Gibbs sighed again. "I don't know why I never noticed her insubordination before, but it could be a problem down the line. If she couldn't manage to obey Tony's orders, I don't even want to imagine what she would do if McGee was team leader. Now that I've stepped back and gotten some perspective, I see it doesn't make for a very healthy team dynamic."

Jack nodded pensively, but remained silent. There was always something about the Mossad officer that made him a bit uneasy. Her pathological tendency to insubordination reminded him of Gwen at her worst, but in a more aggressive way. Jack had some Retcon set aside with Ziva's name on it, just in case.

"How's Tony?" Gibbs asked, pulling Jack back into the moment.

"He's fine," Jack answered, glancing back in the direction of the bedroom. "Ianto's with him."

An awkward silence followed, Jack casting an almost accusing glance Gibbs' way.

"You got something to say?" Gibbs asked, clearly irritated.

Jack turned so that he was facing Gibbs directly, propping himself up on an elbow as he stared at Gibbs with narrowed eyes.

"You really love Tony, don't you? You're really worried about him?"

"Of course," Gibbs snorted, as if the very fact that Jack was asking such questions was ridiculous.

"And when this is all over, when Tony is up and around again, will any of that change?"

Gibbs sat up, taking a defensive/aggressive posture. "What are you getting at?"

Instead of answering the question, Jack continued pressing Gibbs for information. Jack knew exactly where he was steering the conversation, even if Gibbs was completely lost.

"You could have lost Tony a few weeks ago. There's still a chance you could. He's in very delicate health now."

"I know," Gibbs said, almost inaudibly. His hostility seemed to slide away as he focused his thoughts on Tony's struggles.

"And this isn't the first time you nearly lost him, is it?" Jack continued.

"No. It's not. Tony had the plague a few years back. You know that," Gibbs said, shuddering at the memory.

"How did you feel back then? Seeing Tony so sick like that? Not knowing if he was going to make it?" Jack asked, realizing he sounded a lot like a shrink.

"What's with all the questions?!" Gibbs snapped.

Jack took a deep breath before responding, trying his best to remain calm. "Please, just answer."

Gibbs rubbed a hand over his face, looking emotionally exhausted. "I was scared. Seeing him like that, so sick, fighting for his life. I was sure I was gonna lose him." A rare tear fell from Gibbs' eye as he recalled the painful memory. "I gave him a light slap on the head, and told him he'd be fine. I tried to be strong for him. I didn't want him to be afraid. And I didn't want him to see how scared I was."

"And after Tony recovered, you held on to those feelings, didn't you? You remembered how it felt to see Tony on the brink of death, and cherished each moment with him? You valued his contributions to the team, and made sure he knew you appreciated him?" Jack asked with a raised eyebrow, his tone challenging.

Gibbs found himself staring at Jack, speechless. He knew he had failed Tony miserably over the years. And he knew that Jack knew this. What Jack wanted now was a promise that Gibbs would never again be so thoughtless with Tony's feelings.

"My guess is, you already know the answer," Gibbs muttered, looking down, ashamed.

"Yeah, I heard everyone give their mea culpa when Tony was comatose," Jack admitted. "More importantly, I talked to Tony. Before the coma, when he could still talk. Obviously."

"Really?" Gibbs asked, his stomach beginning to twist in knots.

"Mmhmm," Jack nodded. "I don't know if it was hormones, or the fact that Tony was off his meds - probably a combination of the two - but he opened up to both Ianto and myself. Bottom line? He was hurt. Deeply hurt."

Gibbs' heart sank, and he felt like he was going to be sick. "What exactly did he say?"

"That's a conversation you need to have with Tony," Jack said firmly. Staring at Gibbs with an intensity that matched Tony's in his most serious moments, there was something in Jack's haunted expression that spoke of his own regret.

"Jethro, I know I look roughly the same age as Tony, but I want to remind you that I'm a lot older than you - and I've made a lot more mistakes. I lost so many people in my life, that I started to distance myself. I pushed people away. Ianto...I know I hurt Ianto before he died. The more attached he became to me, the colder I acted towards him. I didn't mean to hurt him. I was just trying to protect myself. I couldn't let myself love him, only to eventually lose him. But the reality of losing him made me see just how important he was to me. I have never loved anyone the way I love Ianto! And I know that I never will. I never thought Ianto would come back from death, and I was lucky to be given a chance to make it right. Most people don't get that chance. You won't get that chance, Jethro. Don't take Tony for granted. You never know how long - "

Jack's cell interrupted the conversation. Seeing it was Ianto, he answered on the first ring. Ianto was in the house, caring for Tony. If he felt the need to call, rather than come to Jack himself, there must be a problem.

"Ianto? Everything okay?" Jack asked cautiously, standing up and walking towards the bedroom as he answered. Gibbs followed close behind.

"I don't think so. Tony and I were talking of this and that, when he suddenly cried out. He's in a lot of pain," Ianto stated, trying to keep his voice calm. "He appears very distressed, and he can't even use his device to tell me what's wrong."

By the time Ianto had finished talking, Jack and Gibbs were already in the room.

Tony, head bowed down towards his belly, sat limply in the wheelchair, his body apparently experiencing some relief from the pain.

"Tony? What's wrong?" Gibbs asked, gently taking both of Tony's hands into his own.

"I...ow!" Tony answered weakly.

At any other time, Gibbs would have laughed inwardly and felt a little proud of Tony for being able to state his feelings simply and bluntly, even under such dire circumstances. But now, he was more concerned with getting to the bottom of why Tony was suffering.

"It's gonna be okay, Tony." Gibbs put a reassuring arm on the younger man's shoulder. "Owen's gonna look you ov -"

A sharp cry cut off Gibbs as Tony balled his hands into fists at his sides. Quivering, he gave Gibbs a frightened look as he tried to breath through the pain.

And it was in those breaths, in those winces of agony, that Gibbs realized what was happening. He'd seen this before, standing at Shannon's side as she went through what Tony was now experiencing. Thank God, it wasn't another symptom of some life threatening issue. On the contrary, it was the first sign of Tony's welcome delivery.

A smile slowly spread across Gibbs' face, and when Tony's pain momentarily subsided once again, he studied Gibbs' features, puzzled.

"Try and relax, Tony," Gibbs soothed, his hand resting on the back of Tony's neck. "This is what we've been preparing for."

"Do you mean...?" Ianto began.

Gibbs nodded, not taking his eyes off of Tony.

"I'll find Owen," Jack said, exiting the room.

"I'll call Ducky," Ianto added, taking his phone out of his pocket.

Gibbs looked into green eyes that were filled with both fear and anticipation, marveling at Tony's inner strength and resolve.

"You ready to meet our daughter?"


	19. Special Delivery

The next several minutes were a blur as Gibbs hurriedly wheeled Tony into the operating room that Owen, Ducky and Jimmy had set up months ago in anticipation of the birth.

At some point, Ducky and Jimmy arrived, and the room began bustling with activity as they, along with Owen, efficiently set to work. 

Gibbs helped Tony stand up, which was especially difficult, not only because of his large size, but also the crippling waves of pain that were washing over him, causing him to shake like a leaf between each contraction.

Tony leaned into Gibbs for support as Ducky sterilized an area of skin, then pricked a needle into his back. The pain of the injection was mild compared to the labor pains Tony was experiencing. But by the time Gibbs and Jack had helped Tony onto the operating table, those, too, had started to subside.

As Tony lay there, his body becoming numb from the chest down, listening to the bustle of people around him, his mind started racing. He thought of how the pregnancy had wrecked his body. His lungs were further weakened and damaged beyond repair, he was brain damaged, and it would be a miracle if he ever got back to his pre baby weight. And with the baby squeezed in so tightly, and his organs compressed to the point they were, the c-section would be a delicate and risky procedure.

Tony was excited about the idea of becoming a mother (yes, inwardly, he embraced the title of "mother"), and he looked forward to holding his daughter in his arms. But those feelings were overpowered by fear and panic. Tony felt himself start to lose control as the room became blurry around him. He felt his breathing quicken and his blood pound in his temples.

It was Gibbs' calming presence at his side that soothed Tony out of anxiety induced danger. "Shh...Tony...relax...breathe," Gibbs cooed, running his fingers through Tony's hair. "You've already come this far. You're almost there."

"I...fr...fraid," Tony said in a small voice.

"I know, Tony," Gibbs whispered. "But you're in good hands. And I'm here. I won't leave your side. I promise."

A screen was placed over Tony's chest, and he considered it a mercy that he wouldn't be able to see as Ducky cut him open.

Tony's closed his eyes, taking deep breaths through his nose, trying not to let anxiety get the best of him again. He didn't feel too much pain, mostly a gentle tugging. But Tony's head began to swim with a dizzy nausea at the thought of what was happening to him, and he worried he might lose consciousness right there on the table. He didn't want that. He couldn't miss his daughter's first moments in the world. He needed to hold her, comfort her and welcome her into this life. This moment would be unique, and he wanted to live it to the fullest.

Tony focused his thoughts on the unwavering love and devotion Gibbs had displayed, even in the moments when he felt unattractive and disgusting. Jack, the loving grandparent who felt more like a big brother to him. Ianto, who had fast become his dearest and most trusted friend. Surrounded by love and friendship; cared for by people who never judged him. Tony realized that Imogen would be coming into a truly blessed life.

"Well, aren't you a beautiful girl! Welcome to the world, young Imogen!"

Ducky's soothing voice brought Tony back into the moment. His heart filled with excitement, he looked up at Gibbs expectantly.

"Imm-ji...heeah?" he asked in a weak, raspy voice.

"That's right, Tony," Gibbs confirmed with a smile, his gaze dancing between Tony and the baby in Ducky's arms, still just out of Tony's line of vision. "Imogen is here."

"See baby," Tony requested, eyes pleading.

"You will in a minute, Tony," Jack spoke up, looking down with love at his grandson. "Owen and Ducky are just checking her over."

"O-K?" Tony asked worriedly.

As if on cue, a loud, healthy cry echoed through the room.

"I think you have your answer," Ianto quipped.

"Perfectly healthy at 12 lbs, 6 oz," Owen announced. "You've got a little fatty there, mum!"

Everyone's eyes widened, especially Tony's.

"No wonder you could barely move," Jack commented with a sympathetic laugh.

"Do you want us to clean her?" Jimmy offered.

"Don...ere," Tony immediately dismissed , too eager to hold his daughter to bother about the state she was in.

Jimmy smiled warmly as he placed the tiny bundle, wrapped snugly in a blanket, on Tony's chest. "Tony, meet your daughter."

Wrapping his arms around the tiny new life, Tony's eyes welled up with tears, his lips quivering as he smiled down at his daughter. She stared up at him, already so wide eyed and alert. She had Tony's eyes, the only difference being they were blue. Though many newborns start with blue eyes. Tony knew they just might change to match his green soon enough. Her lips looked a lot like Tony's, while her nose resembled Gibbs'. She had a shock of dark, silky hair on her head, similar to the color Gibbs had before he went grey. All in all, she was a beautiful little girl, who was a perfect combination of both her parents.

"She's gorgeous," Tosh marveled, clasping her hands to her chest.

"Well done," Ianto added. Jack wrapped an arm around the Welshman's waist, squeezing tight as he looked down proudly at his great granddaughter.

"It seems good looks never skip a generation in our family," Jack half joked through a teary smile.

"No argument here," Gibbs replied, and Ianto nodded in agreement. "I'd say this is your best work yet, Tony," he added with a wink.

Tony looked up at Gibbs with an exhausted smile. "You...me...gedder."

"That's true. You did this together. Good work, both of you!" Ducky agreed, throwing out his surgical gloves. 

"Now, Tony, I've got you all stitched up, and I also took the liberty of removing your recently acquired reproductive organs." A small smile ghosted the Scotsman's face. "I didn't think you'd mind."

Tony managed a small chuckle, eyes not leaving the baby in his arms.

"So, Tony won't be able to get pregnant again?" Gibbs asked. "Even if we don't use a condom?"

"As long as he's not wearing any enchanted heirlooms, he should be fine," Owen smirked.

Tony sighed with relief at that news. He loved the feeling of being filled with Gibbs' warm seed. He loved to feel Gibbs inside him. He'd never want to have to give that up. He had missed this closeness during his difficult pregnancy and didn't want anything, even a thin layer of latex, between the two of them.

"Jethro. May I have a word?" Owen motioned his head towards the door, and the two of them stepped out.

"Everything all right, Owen?" Gibbs asked with concern.

Owen stared at Gibbs, dead serious. "I didn't want to say this in front of Tony, because he needs to remain calm while he recovers. But you have to keep the pendant away from him. He absolutely should not get pregnant again! Another pregnancy would kill him. Hell, this one nearly did."

Gibbs nodded in understanding. "You don't have to worry about that. I don't think pregnancy is an experience Tony wants to repeat any time soon.

Owen smirked, satisfied with Gibbs' answer. It was obvious to anyone who saw the couple together how very protective Gibbs was of Tony. "At least I know I won't have to tell you twice."

Gibbs chuckled softly. "No. You won't."

As Gibbs and Owen re entered the room, they were greeted with a collective "shh". An exhausted Tony had fallen asleep, and Jack was now holding baby Imogen in his arms, rocking her gently and singing softly to her. This was a side of Jack that the others had never seen before, and everyone - especially Ianto - had to admit that it was very sweet and endearing.

Jack looked up at Gibbs, almost apologetically. "Do you want to hold your daughter?" he whispered.

Gibbs couldn't help but to smile at the tender moment. 

"Nah. She looks peaceful with you. Besides, you're family", Gibbs whispered, bestowing a kiss on the sleeping infant's head, before doing the same to her mother.

"Will Tony be all right?" he asked, looking at Tony's pale, sleeping form; peaceful and still as death.

"Yeah, he should be fine," Owen confirmed reassuringly. "But his body has been through a lot, and he's likely even weaker now than he was before the birth. He'll need to rest up in bed for a few weeks to recover." 

"Since neither of them will be up and walking for awhile, Tony can use that time to hold Imogen close and form a mother - daughter bond," Tosh mused.

"Uh...I'm not sure Tony wants to be referred to as Imogen's mother. I mean, I know he is, but he - " Jimmy began.

"No worries, Jimmy," Ianto said, looking down fondly at his sleeping friend. "Tony told me he's warming up to the title. So long as it stays between those of us in the know."

Jimmy grinned, giving a sigh of relief that he hadn't made a verbal slip up. Then, turning to Gibbs, he happily noted the former Marine's gentle, paternal demeanor.

"Agent Gibbs, have you and Tony decided on a middle name for Imogen?" he asked.

"We have," Gibbs nodded, letting Imogen wrap her fat little hand around his finger.  
"Kelly." 

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Tony couldn't remember the last time he had felt so popular. It had been two weeks since he'd given birth to Imogen and, though he was supposed to be resting, it seemed there were always visitors. Abby, Tim, Ducky, Jimmy and Ziva came whenever they weren't working. Abby was especially enamored with baby Imogen, holding her, cooing at her and buying cute little outfits for her that Tony mentally called "baby goth". A few months ago, he would have been upset by all the fuss, and would have certainly doubted the sincerity of all these well wishes. But in the meantime, truths had been told and heard. Amends had been made, and now his relationships with the people around him were different, more appeased.

Director Vance and Jackie had also come around, Jackie offering not only helpful support and advice for Tony, but also toys, clothes and blankets for Imogen.

Tony felt loved and thankful for the company, and he was enjoying being a new parent. But he also felt overwhelmed. There was a reason he was ordered to remain in bed. In the weeks following childbirth. His body had practically given out on him, leaving him with just enough strength to hold his daughter, and little more. Owen reassured him that this would pass, and Tony did feel himself slowly becoming stronger. But sleep was a necessity for him, and the constant visitors weren't helping with that.

But today was, mercifully, a quiet day. Tony and Gibbs had just finished enjoying a lunch of egg salad sandwiches, baby carrots, and two glasses of ice cold milk that Ianto had prepared for them.

Ianto, meanwhile, was out in the living room with Jack, looking after Imogen. Jack had to smile as he watched the Welshman with his great granddaughter. Although Ianto claimed that he only had a little experience looking after his niece and nephew, he really did have a way with children.

Jack moved to sit on the couch next to Ianto, pulling him close as the two of them stared down at Imogen's chubby face. 

She gazed up at them, with eyes that had changed from blue to green in the weeks since her birth. She truly did look like Tony. But she also reminded Jack of her grandmother Annabelle, who he had held all too briefly decades ago. 

The clinking of dishes being washed made the couple aware of Gibbs' presence in the kitchen.

"Just leave those, Jethro. I'll wash them," Ianto offered.

"I already started. Why stop now?" Gibbs reasoned. "But Tony and I would like to see you, if you have a moment."

Ianto looked down at Imogen, who was grunting, her face red as a tomato as she lifted her little legs into the air. It could just be gas. That, or another blowout. 

"Of course," Ianto answered Gibbs. "But first, I -"

"Go on," Jack urged. "I'll watch Imogen."

Ianto smiled, giving Jack an appreciative kiss on the lips as he handed the baby over. He wasn't sure why he felt such a strong sense of responsibility to Imogen, or why he loved her so much. Perhaps it was because of her connection to both his best friend and his lover. Maybe it was because he knew deep inside him that he would never be a parent himself. Whatever the reason, Ianto felt very much a part of this family.

※

Ianto arrived in the bedroom before Gibbs had returned, and Tony looked up from the show he was watching on the small TV.

"Ahn-to!"

Ianto smiled, sitting on the bed next to his friend. "Hello, Tony. You wanted to see me?"

"Wait...Jet-wo."

"Jethro's here," Gibbs said from the hallway, and moments later, he was in the room, taking a seat on the easy chair and turning to face the Welshman. "All right, Ianto, Tony and I...We don't want too sound bold or demanding. And we appreciate all that you've already done for us. But we're hoping you could do us a favor.

"Of course. Anything," Ianto said, guessing it must be a pretty significant matter to warrant a private conversation. "What do you need?"

Tony reached out his hand, brushing Ianto's fingertips. 

"Ahn-to...nanny?" 

Ianto blinked. "You want me to be Imogen's nanny? You would really entrust me with the care of your child?" he asked, surprised by the honor.

Gibbs nodded, giving his trademark crooked grin. "Can't think of anyone else we would as much as you. Except for Jack, of course."

Ianto sat upright at the sound of his lover's name. "Yes. Jack. We should probably clear this with him first. I have responsibilities to Torchwood. I -"

"You have a responsibility to this family," Jack said from where he stood in the doorway, cradling Imogen in his arms. "They already cleared the matter with me, and I'm fine with it. You can continue to do research and work the archives for Torchwood. But working as a nanny will keep you out of harm's way."

"Jack..." Ianto warned in a low tone.

"I know I'm too overprotective of you, Ianto," Jack admitted. "But that's not why I think you should do this. Tony is still recovering. It will be awhile before he gets his strength back, he still needs help breathing, and he's going to be starting speech therapy in a few weeks. Not to mention the fact that Jethro is returning to work next week. They could really use your help, and Imogen sure seems to love you. Torchwood America is much quieter than our former Cardiff branch was. I'm sure I can manage just fine with Owen and Tosh. Don't worry."

"Ahn-to...pyease?"

Ianto looked from Tony to Gibbs to Jack, feeling surprised and honored at the request. He only hoped he could live up to their expectations. After all, he didn't have any real experience with kids.

"Yes, Tony," he finally said, squeezing his best friend's hand. "I'd be happy to help you take care of Imogen."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Six months after Imogen's birth, life had settled into a comfortable sort of normalcy. Well, as normal as could be expected for the unusual assortment of people that called themselves a family. 

Though Gibbs had set up a lovely nursery for Imogen in his old house, he and Tony were feeling more and more at home in the Torchwood mansion. Jack, Ianto, Owen and Tosh provided love, care and comfort, and the couple found they just couldn't make themselves leave. Seeing Owen vanishing into thin air when playing peek-a-boo while Imogen squealed in delight was something Tony knew he would never get tired of.

Selling the house was a difficult decision for Gibbs to make. But he was making a new start, with a new family. For so long, Gibbs had lived alone with his memories. As if moving on would somehow be a betrayal to Shannon and Kelly.

But his heart changed the day he and Maddie Tyler sat trapped in a car underwater. On the verge of drowning, he saw Shannon and Kelly, reassuring him; telling him to go back. Giving him permission to move on. It felt far too real to be a dream. Gibbs realized they were telling him exactly what he needed to hear.

The next thing he remembered was lying on the dock, and exhausted Tony panting over he and Maddie. Tony had saved them. It was at that moment that Gibbs began to realize that maybe, just maybe, Tony was the person he was supposed to go back for.

Now, family life was an interesting mix of diaper changes, late night feedings, and casual dinner table conversations about murder cases and alien sightings.

Imogen was well looked after, and Tony and Ianto's friendship continued to deepen as the Welshman helped in her care. The green eyed cherub would sit enraptured as Ianto read to her in those sweet Welsh tones, while Tony held her close, their eyes locked in a loving gaze. Imogen was content, so long as she was in her mother's arms, with Ianto close by.

As for Jack, he had revealed himself to be quite the doting great grandparent; showering Imogen with hugs and kisses, singing to her, and engaging her in playful games of peekaboo - though his performance was far less impressive than Owen's.

Seeing their Captain behave in such an undignified manner, the abrasive medic couldn't help but to playfully mock him. Interestingly, he spared Tosh such teasing when she acted in a similar fashion. She had a very nurturing, maternal quality to her, and Owen felt a twinge of sadness, knowing he would never be able to give her a child.

While things were blissful, that's not to say they were easy. Having a new baby is exhausting under any set of circumstances. And, while it helped having plenty of people around, Tony couldn't help feeling guilty that his own needs prevented him from giving 100% of himself to his daughter. Between therapies and his own limitations, having extra helping hands was a necessity. But Jack was quick to remind his grandson that he was giving Imogen the most important things: love and time. And the moments that Tony spent nursing Imogen were times of bonding, when he gave her something that only he could.

The good news was, Tony was up and around again. Though he was slow moving, and couldn't even get up to a brisk walk, he was still walking. There was a time not that long ago that he wasn't sure he'd be able to do that.

Tony was no longer tethered to the oxygen tank; a fact he was most happy about. But he did need to use an inhaler. Breathing troubles were a part of life now. While he didn't like it, he had come to accept it.

Tony's potbelly served as a lingering reminder of his pregnancy. Surprisingly, he didn't mind it, and wasn't even in a hurry to get rid of it. But the reason was easy enough to understand. For some reason, Gibbs liked it. Tony didn't understand, but if carrying some extra weight around the middle made him attractive to his lover, he could live with that.

Given Tony's mental health history, it was no surprise that he suffered from post partum depression. Since he was still nursing, he didn't want to take medication to treat it. So, in addition to seeing a therapist twice a week, he continued as he had while pregnant, managing his moods through nutrition, and the companionship of others. Daily walks in the garden with Jack also helped, and that time together was something they both cherished.

Through therapy, Tony's speech was slowly improving. He still sometimes struggled with consonants, and his sentence structure was often child-like and broken. But it was getting easier for him to communicate with his voice, at least to those who were close to him. Out in public, strangers often mistook Tony for mentally slow when they heard him speak. So he usually kept quiet then.

Tony and Gibbs knew that they needed a cover story for when people asked how they came to be parents, and the one they had was convincing enough. As the story went, before they were given their "top secret mission", they had decided to have a child, using an old friend of Tony's as a surrogate mother. She became pregnant just before they had to leave unexpectedly, and by the time the baby was born, Tony was just starting to recover from the injuries he sustained in Afghanistan.

Tony hated having to lie about being Imogen's mother. There was a time not so long ago when he would have been embarrassed to admit he had been pregnant. But now, he was filled with such love and pride for his little girl, and he wanted the whole world to know that it was he and Gibbs who had together created this beautiful baby. As Gibbs had told him so often, it was only his own stubbornness and determination which had brought his miraculous pregnancy to a successful conclusion

Gibbs was getting ready to retire soon, and this was news that came as a surprise to almost everyone. Ziva had a tendency to be difficult and insubordinate, and no one wanted to see McGee - the natural successor to Gibbs as team leader - left in a difficult situation. Yet, in recent weeks, she had been surprisingly easy to work with, and even cooperative the few times Gibbs had left Tim in charge. Her sudden change in attitude was a mystery until Jack hinted that he may or may not have had a little conversation with her, wherein he told her he knew methods of torture that hadn't even been invented yet. And he wouldn't hesitate to use them on her if she made any trouble. Ziva was not easily intimidated, but Jack had time and experience on his side, and she knew better than to piss him off.

Tony took a deep breath as he pushed Imogen's stroller into the elevator at NCIS, flanked by Jack and Ianto. It was his first time back at NCIS since the day he found out he was pregnant, and it felt bittersweet. The elevator itself brought fond memories rushing back. In a way, this was where it all started.

"Here Jet-wo kiss me first time," Tony told Jack and Ianto as the doors slid closed, a far off look on his face.

"Just kissing, huh?" Jack teased.

Tony smiled naughtily. "No..."

Ianto rolled his eyes, smirking at how alike Jack and Tony were.

As the elevator dinged open and they stepped out, Tony paused for a moment, taking in the orange walls and the glare of the skylight. After being away for so long, they were still oddly comfortable and familiar.

"You're here!"

Abby came bounding up to them, capturing each man in a hug before leaning over to gaze at Imogen.

"Shh...Imogen syeeping," Tony warned, before Abby's excitement woke the child.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Abby whispered the apology. "I'm just so happy to see you back here. This is probably the last time we'll have the old team back together before Gibbs retires."

"We're just picking Gibbs up for lunch," Jack chuckled. "We won't be here long."

"Well, you've gotta at least come and say 'hi' to everyone."

With that, Abby rushed ahead of them. 

As they stepped into the bullpen, Gibbs and McGee stood up, Gibbs rushing over to Tony and embracing him before turning his attention to their daughter, arm still wrapped around Tony's waist. "I missed you guys."

"Miss you too, Jet-wo," Tony said, smiling sweetly.

"Abby's been waiting up here for the last half hour," McGee informed Tony, Jack and Ianto, rolling his eyes.

"Well, I had to be here the moment Tony first walked back in," Abby insisted. "It's been so long."

Tony laughed softly, reaching his arms out to Abby for another hug. Maybe it was hormones, or another after effect of the coma on Tony's brain, but ever since he had woken up from it, there was a sweet, almost child-like, loving openness to him. A quality that everyone found quite endearing.

Breaking free from the hug, Tony glanced over at Ziva, who stood quietly, smiling sweetly behind her desk.  
"It is good to see you, Tony," she greeted, quickly averting her eyes when they met Jack's piercing gaze. Jack and Ianto exchanged a knowing look, smirking.

"Hi, Ziva," Tony returned the greeting, not missing her discomfort around Jack. It was about time someone put her in her place, he thought. 

Finally turning around, Tony stared at his old desk. He'd been avoiding looking at it since they arrived. That desk had felt like home to him for so many years, and he knew it would be strange to see another agent sitting there.

The man he saw was a handsome Eurasian in his 30s, with short cropped hair, high cheekbones and full lips. Definitely model good looks, Tony thought. The man sat working diligently. It was clear he was half listening to what was going on around him, but didn't feel right about being a part of it. Tony decided to ease some of the the agent's discomfort by introducing himself.

Approaching the desk, Tony extended his hand. "I Tony DiNozzo."

The man stood, accepting Tony's offered hand and shaking it. "Phil Chen. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. I've heard a lot of good things. Seems I have some big shoes to fill."

Tony felt himself blush slightly at the compliment. He never remembered receiving such praise from the others when he was an agent. He never suspected they thought so highly of him.

"You are good," Tony assured the young agent. "Is why Jet-wo tose you."

Phil appeared comforted by Tony's kind words. "Thanks for saying so, Tony." Stepping away from the desk, Phil motioned to the chair behind it. "Would you like to sit behind the desk one more time? For old time's sake?"

Tony considered Phil's offer for a minute before a broad smile spread across his face. Making his way behind the desk, he slowly lowered himself into the chair. Taking in the view he had grown accustomed to over such a long period of time, for a moment, it felt like nothing had changed.

And yet, everything had changed. NCIS was just the beginning of the long and beautiful story that Tony's life had become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end of the story. The final two chapters will jump to the future, showing us the fates of our beloved characters.
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey


	20. Ascension

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Owen felt like his world was closing in on him. He wanted to curse the fates for once again cruelly ripping his happiness away from him.

Tosh had made peace with her imminent death. There was no illness, no injury, no pain. She had simply grown gradually weaker, feeling her life force gently leave her body. She knew she was nearing the end.

For the past three days, Tosh lie comfortably in her bed, more at peace with what was to come than those close to her. Just the previous day, Gibbs had to gently steer Abby out of the room before she became too hysterical. For all of her good intentions, Abby's overly emotional nature wasn't exactly calming.

Now, with 16 year old Imogen at school, and their NCIS friends at work, the house was quiet; whisperings of death seeming to echo within its walls. 

Owen sat dejectedly on the living room couch; alone with his thoughts. 

They had known from the beginning that it would happen sooner or later, yet it didn't make it any easier now that he was forced to confront the harsh reality. 

Owen felt devastated, and he didn't want Tosh to see him like this. For now anyway, he could take comfort in knowing that Ianto, Jack, Tony and Gibbs had been watching over her. Still, Owen hated himself for hiding away from the death that Tosh was so bravely facing.

"Hey, Owen."

Owen looked up to see Tony slowly walking towards him, before carefully taking a seat beside the ghost.

"Thought you might be tired of brooding alone." Tony's statement was light hearted, sounding very much like a joke. But there was real concern in his eyes as he studied Owen's face.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Owen's expression was one of gratitude. He was appreciative of Tony's good intentions. But there was nothing Tony could do to help. There was nothing anyone could do.

"I'm losing her again, Tony. After I brought Tosh back the first time, I was just so shocked by what had happened. So happy to get that second chance. And I enjoyed every second of our time together. Believe me, I never took a moment of that time for granted..."

Owen's voice trailed off, as his memory relived every smile, every touch, every whispered "I love you." His lips briefly turned up into a smile before quivering back down into a mournful frown.

"With her, I wasn't just a dead man walking. I was truly alive. I felt things. I felt her. I never gave much thought to the end of our time together. What it would mean. But I understand now. This is goodbye. I mean, this is really goodbye, forever! We'll both be dead, but Tosh is going to cross over into whatever is waiting on the other side. And me? I'll be stuck here, kept apart from her, for God knows how long. Maybe for all eternity. Maybe I'll end up like Jack, stuck here forever while she's helplessly waiting for me on the other side."

Owen heaved a shaking sigh.

"I don't want to lose her."

Tony took a deep breath through his nose, putting a supportive hand on Owen's shoulder. 

"I'd like to take a moment to point out the fact that I'm a man who has given birth to a child. Having a conversation with a ghost."

Despite his sullen mood, Tony's statement managed to elicit a small chuckle from Owen.

"My grandmother - also a man - is an immortal from the future who has traveled through space and time," Tony continued. "My best friend and the woman you love were both brought back from the dead - by you, I might add! We don't give a second thought to any of these facts. This is our normal. But to most people, it's pretty amazing! What others would call miracles, we call reality."

Owen shrugged, a small grin gracing his features. "I hadn't really thought much about it. Not for a long time. But you have a point."

"Oh, I haven't gotten to my point yet," Tony said, shifting slightly on the couch for a more comfortable angle. "This family we have, this home we share...it was all made possible because you refused to let Tosh go. You gave her back years of her life she never would have had otherwise. And so many good things have happened to all of us since then." Tony leaned forward, locking eyes with Owen. "Look, I don't understand how any of this stuff works. But I think that, if you were able to bring Tosh back to you from the dead, there's still a chance that you could do it again. Or maybe it could work the other way."

Owen sat frozen, pondering the significance of Tony's words. "You... you're saying..."

Tony nodded solemnly. "There's only one way to be sure. Either way, it looks like a win-win solution."

※

Owen led the way, with Tony and Gibbs following close behind as he entered Tosh's room. Ianto sat at the foot of Tosh's bed, while Jack leaned casually against the wall, arms folded. The three of them were casually chatting as if nothing had changed. And, while Tosh's voice was small and raspy, she appeared in good spirits. 

Tosh had been very specific in her requests: No goodbyes and no tears. She didn't want her final days to be mournful. She wanted them instead to be filled with the laughter and lively conversation that so often rang through their home.

So when Owen stepped into Tosh's line of sight, there was no "where have you been?" No admonishing look. No reproach of any sort. There was simply love in her eyes. She knew how hard it was for Owen. She knew he needed time by himself, and that he would come to her when he was ready. So there was no hiding her happiness and relief when he finally stood watching over her.

"I'll leave you to it," Ianto whispered, standing up and offering Owen his spot at the foot of the bed.

Owen nodded his thanks, sitting down and taking hold of Tosh's hand. She didn't look sickly at all. Actually, there was a peaceful glow to her. She seemed serene. The only indication that something was "off" was that she looked paler, and as if she might fall asleep at any moment.

Tosh smiled up at Owen, then turned her gaze to their four companions. Here they were; three couples, hit hardest by the fates, who had overcome unthinkable obstacles to find happiness together. 

This gathering of people who had come to mean so much to one another didn't speak of the painful loss that was likely to come. But Jack, Ianto, Gibbs and Tony took comfort as they watched Owen with Tosh, knowing that the strength of their love could bring about miracles. It had before. They saw no reason why it shouldn't again.

"Tosh," Owen whispered, lightly brushing a hand across her cheek. "Thank you."

Looking up into Owen's loving gaze, Tosh understood that with those two words, her beloved was communicating so much more. 

"Thank you for making me feel alive, even in death."

"Thank you for the security of your love."

"Thank you for loving me, even when I was an insensitive bastard."

"Because of you, I have learned kindness. I am a new man. I am changed."

"...because of you."

...and Tosh's heart understood every word.

"How are you feeling, love?" Owen asked, leaning in closer, so that he was nearly lying down, his face just inches from Tosh's.

"I'm fine, Owen. Just tired, and a bit cold," she tried to reassure him, clearly downplaying her predicament.

"Well, we can't have that now, can we?" Owen said, a barely concealed quiver in his voice.

Lifting back the covers, Owen lay down on top of Tosh, wrapping her up in his loving warmth, just as he had for a year in the morgue at Torchwood's former Hub in Cardiff. 

Realizing what Owen was about to do, Jack took a step forward to stop him. But Ianto gently held him by the arm and shook his head.

"Don't, Jack. You'd do the same, and you know it."

Jack pulled Ianto's body closer to him, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek and nodding slowly. Tony, now seated in a nearby chair, alternated his gaze between the couple on the bed and Gibbs, who gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. 

The scene that unfolded before them was unlike any they had ever witnessed. A warm, golden light enveloped Tosh and Owen. As it did so, Owen's expression relaxed from grief into relief. Somehow, it seemed that they both knew what was to come. 

There was a comforting energy present as their two bodies seemed to become one within the light; a light which consumed them, until they disappeared within its honey glow.

As the light slowly faded, Tosh's voice could faintly be heard echoing throughout the room.

"Be well, my family," she whispered. 

And then, they were gone. Tosh's body, which had been living on borrowed time for about seventeen years, finally faded away. All that now remained of her mortal coil was a thin layer of golden dust on the sheets.

For several minutes, there was a stunned silence. Everyone was torn between grief and happiness. They had just lost two of their dearest friends. And yet, Tosh and Owen weren't really lost. They had gone to their final home, together.

Jack finally stepped forward, slowly and deliberately, taking a seat on the bed. It still hummed with Tosh and Owen's energy, and he took comfort in the peaceful vibrations that energy sent through him. He knew that they were safe and happy. They were where they needed to be.

Jack felt the bed dip beside him as Ianto took a seat, placing a hand on the older man's lap. Jack squeezed Ianto's hand, and they exchanged a wavering smile.

As they saw Tony and Gibbs approaching, Ianto and Jack scooted over slightly, making room so they could join them on the bed where Tosh had slept for so many years. The bed where she and Owen had made the most of the second chance they had been given, and where they had finally left their company.

Tony reached out his arms, and the four men huddled in together for a hug. Feeling the calming energy, an energy that had been so strongly associated with Tosh, they were at peace.

"Goodbye, my friends," Jack whispered. "And thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're not too upset about Tosh dying. But I think this was actually a very uplifting chapter. Now you know that Tosh and Owen cross over together. Owen won't be left behind after Tosh's passing. Their souls ascended as one!
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey


	21. A Simple Existence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this glimpse into the future! :)
> 
> ~ThePeachyMonkey

Life changed after Owen and Tosh departed their earthly existences. With Jack and Ianto the only remaining members of the Torchwood team, they decided to put a new team into place. First, they purchased an old government safe house to use as the new headquarters. The manor had become their home, and they didn't feel comfortable with the idea of strangers walking around. Then, they set about putting together a new team. Younger agents, efficient and dedicated, with no job or family responsibilities to interfere with their duties.

Once the agents were properly trained, Jack joined Ianto handling things in the background; taking on a more administrative and advisory role.

Priorities had changed. Jack used to think that the best way to make the most of his immortality was to do his part to keep the earth safe, battling threats both alien and supernatural. He had applied himself to meet the Doctor's expectations and demonstrate to him that he was worthy of his trust.

But ever since Jack had met Tony, things changed. Discovering that the daughter he had given up back in 1943 had a son - a son that was pregnant with a child of his own - gave Jack another chance at family. One that he never thought he'd get again. He ended up growing very close to Tony and his boyfriend Jethro; feeling a sense of protection for his grandson, and a sense of relief that he was with someone who was equally protective of him.

Another pleasant surprise was Tony's unexpected friendship with Ianto. Two men who had both come from unhappy childhoods, having lost their mothers at young ages, and been left with fathers who didn't know what to do with them. Both rising above their struggles to become brave, intelligent and compassionate men. And in each other, they had found a very special understanding. Jack couldn't have been more pleased that two of the most important people in his life had formed such a special bond.

Imogen's birth served to bring everyone closer together. Throughout his pregnancy, Tony's health continued to deteriorate. He had grown weak to the point he couldn't take care of himself, and could barely move. A coma had left him brain damaged and struggling to communicate. Caring for Tony had become a group effort, with everybody doing their part to ensure the health and well being of both mother and unborn child.

To everyone's relief, Tony survived the pregnancy, and a fat, healthy baby girl was born. Tony eventually regained his strength, though his steps were unsteady, slow, and made with great effort, for the rest of his life.

Tony's speech came back slowly. After a lot of hard work, he was finally speaking normally again by the time Imogen was around 2 years old. So they both really started speaking at the same time.

It was clear from an early age that Imogen was highly intelligent and observant, just like her parents. And by the time she was 12, she had started asking the inevitable questions. Though she didn't recall playing "magic peek-a-boo" with uncle Owen, there were still a lot of things which intrigued her.

How could she so strongly resemble both Tony and Gibbs, even though she was supposedly born via a surrogate?

Why didn't "uncle Jack" ever age, while everyone else did?

Why didn't Owen ever eat or drink?

 

Her family promised to answer all of her questions when she was older. And on her 16th birthday, they kept to that promise.

The day ended up being quite an event! First, Jack showed her everything they had saved to the computer; old photos, files, and medical records, documenting everything from both Jack and Tony's pregnancies, to death and resurrection records. There were old photos of Jack from both the past and distant future, and Tony during every stage of his difficult pregnancy. Jack told Imogen of his true relationship to her, and he and Ianto spent a good part of the morning telling her all about Torchwood.

It was all very exciting, and Imogen possessed enough intelligence to see the proof for the truth that it was, however unbelievable it might have seemed.

But for her, the highlight of the day was when Tony and Gibbs presented her with the pendant that Gibbs had given him when they first became a couple.

"Your dad gave this to me," Tony told Imogen. "It's got generations of powerful magic behind it, and is the reason I became pregnant with you."

"You mean you were wearing it when you had sex?" Imogen guessed, smirking.

"Why, yes, this pendant was witness to our intimacy," Tony replied, unfazed. It was cute when Imogen tried to embarrass him. But, like Jack, Tony was shameless in that respect, so it was to no avail.

"It belonged to Shannon," Tony elaborated more seriously, exchanging a loving look with Gibbs as their fingers intertwined.

And Imogen understood. Since she was small, she had heard stories about Shannon and Kelly, and knew that they had been a very important part of Gibbs' life before he'd met Tony.

It was with all of this new information, and these new gifts, that Imogen began to truly understand what an incredible family she came from. And it was in their rich history that she found inspiration.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Imogen was now in her 40s. Despite of her extraordinary background, she lived a quiet, ordinary life, the most inspired aspect of it being her wonderful paintings. She specialized in landscape painting. Mountains, meadows and oceans; the magic of sunrise, or the mystery of the nighttime sky, perfectly captured. She knew that Jack had seen many fantastic things, having countless adventures in the vast universe, and though she had stayed firmly rooted on Earth her entire life, in her paintings, a person's imagination could travel galaxies. That was the power of her artistic gifts.

Imogen was also known for her pottery; cups, bowls and vases painted with intricate designs.

Imogen's Imaginings was home to her creations. In the front, there was a small gallery to one side, showcasing her recent works. To the other side was a shop, selling paintings and pottery. Custom pieces could also be requested for an extra fee.

In the back of the building was a studio, where Imogen spend most of her time, covered in paint or clay, working with tireless passion and focus.

But she cleaned up nicely. Tall and slim yet curvy, with long, flowing, dark brown hair, which she wore up while she worked, but hung past her shoulders in loose curls when it was down. Her green eyes and full lips matched her mother's, as did her smile. Yet, when angry, she could shoot an intimidating glare that would make her father proud.

Imogen's passion, focus, talent and beauty eventually won the heart of Jordan Smith, an old childhood friend and the son of Martha Jones and Mickey Smith, who had remained close friends of Jack and Ianto's over the years.

Like Imogen, Jordan preferred a quiet life. An English professor at Georgetown, he was more likely to be seen reading about fantastic adventures than going on them, even though he had been offered to travel with the Doctor more than once. His parents' experiences had taught him to be cautious when it came to time travel.

The couple's families had a long and amazing shared history, which made for a certain level of comfort between them. They could be completely open and honest. No need for secrets.

The true stories they had been told as children were far better than any tales of fiction. Yet the couple craved comfort and stability. Perhaps when they were older, they could travel to amazing worlds unknown. The Doctor knew where to find them, after all. But for now, they wanted to provide a settled existence for their son Daniel, now a freshman in high school, with a strong interest in computers.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Today, Imogen's life didn't feel very quiet and settled. The previous day, just over 20 years since her father had died, Imogen had to bury her mother.

Her father's death had come as a shock, as Gibbs had been active and in seemingly good health, showing no outward indication that anything was wrong. So when a sudden heart attack claimed him, the grief caused an upset in Tony's emotional stability. It was then that Imogen saw just how her parents relied on one another. And it was then that she watched as Jack and Ianto provided the support and comfort that Tony needed. Support and comfort that they would provide until the very end.

Which is exactly what they had ended up doing. Three years earlier, Tony had a stroke. He had been lucky to live into his 80s, considering all of his health problems. But his poor health and existing brain damage made the stroke all the more devastating, and Tony declined rapidly in his final years.

Jack and Ianto became Tony's full time caregivers, with nurses coming in to help throughout the week.

Imogen also came in to help out as much as possible, and it broke her heart to see Tony's mental decline. Initially, he would mix up his words, or forget them altogether, which caused him great frustration. Later, after a series of "mini strokes", it pained Imogen to see that he no longer recognized her. In fact, as he neared the end of his life, there was no flicker of recognition for anything or anyone at all. Jack and Ianto took care of Tony's needs, but Tony no longer noticed. His mind wasn't present. Imogen tried to find solace in the fact that at least he was no longer grieving Gibbs' absence.

Imogen blinked back tears, her hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as she made her way to her old family home. She had just seen her in-laws off at the airport, and with Jordan at work and Daniel at school, respectively, she decided to give herself a day off and spend it with Jack and Ianto.

Pulling up the driveway and parking the car, she glanced over at the garden that Tony had loved so much in life. Every Sunday afternoon when Imogen was a little girl, Tony would pack a picnic lunch for Gibbs, Imogen and himself, and they would eat it out in the garden. To young Imogen, these lunches were an event! And even in adulthood, they were among her fondest memories.

Imogen got out of the car and meandered into the garden, admiring the beauty. Jack and Ianto had really done a wonderful job maintaining it over the years - though Jack would be the first to admit it was mostly Ianto's doing.

Closing her eyes and breathing in the sweet perfume, Imogen was transported back to the smiles and laughter than rang through in this place that, to this day, still felt magical.

In a clearing at the far corner of the garden, the old swing set still stood. With a child-like glee, Imogen hurried towards it, seating herself on her favorite swing.

Closing her eyes once again, she could clearly remember the sensation of flying, wind blowing her hair back as Jack pushed, cheering:

"Up! To the stars!"

Opening her eyes, Imogen looked to see Jack and Ianto making their way towards her. Jack remained unchanged over the years, still very much the man he had always been.

Ianto, however, was a far cry from the baby faced young man she remembered growing up. His dark hair, now a silvery gray; his face, lined with the wisdom of age. He looked quite the distinguished older gentleman. Still handsome as ever. Jack had come to the conclusion that, unlike Tosh's resurrection, which had been accidental, the fact that Owen had willingly poured his vital energy into Ianto helped make his state more permanent, even though the Welshman was still aging.

Seeing the old couple together now, those who didn't know them well would never believe that Ianto was the younger man.

Standing up, Imogen walked to meet Jack and Ianto in the middle of the garden, exchanging tearful hugs with each of them.

"Decided to take a little detour, I see," Ianto quipped, as he pulled back from their hug.

"Yeah," Imogen sighed, shoving her hands into her pockets and looking around fondly at the well maintained grounds. "I just associate this garden so strongly with memories of my parents. Especially my mom." She was glad she could freely refer to Tony as "mom" in present company. It felt so much more natural falling from her lips.

"I know what you mean," Jack said, nodding in agreement. "He and I used to have many nice conversations out here."

Ianto smiled, breathing in the sweet air. "You know, I can see feel his presence here," he observed, his voice thick with emotion.

Jack nodded again, recalling what Tony had told him when they had first met, about feeling as though his mother were there with him. Now, whenever Jack wandered through the garden, he could swear that both of them were walking beside him. It was a very comforting thought for a man like him, who had been lonely for so long.

"Come on," Jack finally said, putting an arm around Imogen as the three of them walked up to the house. "We have some things for you."

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Tony's bedroom remained untouched since the day he died, save for the sheets, which had been stripped from the bed. A partially filled IV still hung from the stand. A cart stood by the bed, its drawers filled with briefs, changing pads, towels and personal grooming supplies.

On the bedside table were two framed photos; one of Tony and Gibbs holding baby Imogen, and another similar photo of Imogen with her own family.

A television hung from the wall, which Tony watched with an innocent wonder in his final years, fascinated by the sound and movement, though not fully comprehending what he was seeing and hearing.

Imogen took a seat on the bed, while Jack sat across from her on one of the chairs beside it.

"I'll be back momentarily," Ianto promised, excusing himself, and Imogen nodded as she looked around the room.

Imogen noticed that the room still smelled like Tony; a rather nice lavender scent from the soap Ianto had turned him onto years before. She felt a twinge of gratitude that Ianto and Jack had been so diligent about keeping Tony clean. She'd been in enough nursing homes to know that the sick and elderly were often neglected, left to lay in their own filth until someone could be bothered to wash them. Imogen had always felt comforted by the knowledge that her mother was clean and well cared for by family that loved him.

Looking up as she felt the bed dip beside her, Imogen saw Ianto smiling at her, holding a small gift bag.

"These belonged to your mother," Ianto explained, as Imogen reached into the bag and pulled out a rag doll.

The doll's stuffing was uneven, and it's red yarn hair sat incomplete on its head, making the doll appear to have a crooked receding hairline. Save for two lopsided button eyes, the doll was faceless.

Jack laughed as he watched his great granddaughter's face screw up in curious amusement as she studied the thing.

"After you were born, while your mom was in bed getting his strength back, he decided to take up sewing and knitting," Jack explained. "He wasn't very good at it."

"I can see that," Imogen laughed, pulling a pink, misshapen knitted object out of the bag.

"That was supposed to be a hat for you," Ianto said, smirking. "Your mother would be mortified if he knew we were giving these to you. He was quite unhappy with how they turned out, and requested that I throw them away."

"I'm glad you didn't," Imogen said, tossing the hat onto the bed beside the doll. "Mom made these for me with loving intentions. He put a lot of time and work into them. I don't care how they look. They're something for me to remember him by."

"We thought you might feel that way," Ianto commented, looking fondly at Imogen.

Imogen nodded, tears forming in her eyes. As she once again picked up and examined the ugly rag doll, a loud, strangled sob escaped her throat.

"I miss him so much," she wept, leaning onto Ianto's shoulder.

The Welshman hugged her tightly. Jack shot up from the chair, sitting down at Imogen's other side and holding her. Now enveloped in love by two of the men who helped raise her, their soothing energy slowly quieted her sobs.

"I know you miss him. We all do. But I can promise you he is happy", Ianto soothed. "There is an existence beyond this one. I've seen it, and it's beautiful!"

At those words, Imogen looked up and smiled at Ianto. One comforting aspect of having a family like hers was that, when they said things such as this, you could be sure they were speaking the truth.


	22. Meet Me In the Garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. We've reached the last chapter. I have to admit, I'm kind of sad to see this story come to an end. It's been a great experience bringing together beloved characters from two of my favorite shows!
> 
> I hope you are pleased with this final chapter. I tried to give everything a sense of closure, and also make sure that everyone got a happy ending.
> 
> Thank you for coming along with us on this journey, and seeing it through to the end.
> 
> ~ ThePeachyMonkey

The breeze, soft and gentle, brushed gently across Jack and Ianto as they lay in the cool of the shade. Sunlight danced with shadows, shimmering across their faces. Ianto's head rested upon Jack's bare chest, and he took comfort in the warm arms holding him close.

Jack stared down at his long time love, smiling affectionately. It was amazing how, even as an old man, Ianto could look so boyish and innocent while sleeping. Jack's smile grew even wider as Ianto made the cute little moaning whimpers he always did when waking.

"Hey, Ianto," Jack couldn't help but coo, running his fingers through Ianto's silvery grey hair. "Have a nice nap?"

"Mmm..." Ianto moaned adorably, nuzzling into Jack's chest.

Jack chuckled softly, squeezing Ianto tightly and kissing the top of his head. 

Ianto sat up slowly, and Jack soon did the same, both men feeling quite content with life at the moment.

"Fancy a walk?" Jack asked, standing up and offering his hand to Ianto.

With an amused smile, Ianto nodded, accepting Jack's hand and rising to his feet. 

Their hands remained intertwined as they started down the garden path, breathing in the sweet scents. The air was pleasant; not too hot and not too cool, with a breeze just ever so gently brushing them. The flowers were in fragrant full bloom.

A lone butterfly fluttered insistently round their heads, as if trying to get their attention. And they couldn't help but notice. It was beautiful; almost otherworldly. Graceful wings that fluttered and danced, colored emerald green, with red and gold accents.

The beautiful creature finally settled on a sunflower, fluttering in front of Jack and Ianto. 

"Well, hello!" Ianto waved cheerily. "Aren't you lovely!"

A sad smile haunted Jack's features. "Maybe it's because we're in the garden, but the green in this butterfly's wings reminds me of -"

"Tony's eyes," Ianto completed Jack's thought, and the two men nodded in fond remembrance.

At those words, the butterfly suddenly flapped its wings at lightning speed, disappearing into a dizzying blur, its colors enveloping Jack and Ianto in radiant warmth, somehow filling their hearts with a loving comfort. 

Then, standing before them where the butterfly had just moments ago been, was Tony.

He'd changed from the time they had last seen him. Tony was no longer the sickly old man they had cared for in the end. Nor was he the weak, slow man he had been for decades before that. The Tony they were now looking at appeared younger, looking much as he had when they first met, only thinner, stronger and filled with an energy they had never seen in him. But they were sure he must have possessed this energy at some point, before the difficult pregnancy took a permanent toll on his body. 

His tall, lean form - they had never known him as a lean man - was dressed in casual elegance. A gold tie accented a green silk dress shirt, tucked into dark red pants. Dressed as he was, Tony truly was the human embodiment of his butterfly form. 

Jack and Ianto stood stunned, not quite believing what they'd seen. Sure, they had witnessed many amazing things in their lives, and Ianto was living proof that people could come back from the dead. But this was something different altogether. Something for which they were not prepared. 

"Tony?" Jack whispered, his hand clenching Ianto's. "Is that really you?" 

"In the flesh," Tony answered, grinning. "Well, not literally..."

"This has to be a dream," Ianto said, staring wide eyed at his best friend. "You can't be real."

"Oh, it is a dream," Tony confirmed. "But I am real."

"That was quite an entrance. You have a flair for the dramatic," Jack quipped with a wavering smile.

"You're one to talk," Tony shot back, a playful gleam in his eyes.

"He has a point," Ianto smirked.

"Hey! No ganging up on me!" Jack laughed, finally overcoming the emotions which were threatening to overwhelm him. "Okay, you've got our attention, Tony. What do you want to tell us?"

Tony gave them a bittersweet smile, and the look in his eyes told them he held a far greater acceptance and understanding of what he was about to say than they would at the moment.

"Ianto, you'll be joining us here soon," Tony informed his best friend as tactfully as possible.

"How soon?" Ianto asked, a hint of fear straining his voice.

"About a year, more or less," Tony answered casually. "But there's nothing to be afraid of. As you can see, it's not so bad here."

"But Jack -" Ianto began, and Jack himself stood with a look of haunted resignation; the look of a man who had sadly come to accept loss as a part of his very long life.

"Relax," Tony said, holding out his hands in a placating gesture. "There are some things I've come to understand since I got here. Things about the people I love. And one of those things is, the two of you need each other! You're soul mates. Being separated by death would leave you both empty and miserable inside, and that emptiness can never be filled until you reunite."

"Well, then we're screwed!" Jack snapped.

Ianto placed a calming hand on Jack's shoulder. "Jack, I'm sure that Tony didn't bring us here to give us bad news."

"Of course I didn't," Tony said, unfazed by Jack's little outburst. "You, more than anyone, should be aware of the reality of miracles." Tony motioned around himself. "Look at where you are! This might be a dream, but I'm as real as anything! Do you understand what I'm saying? Jack, death can't keep you apart from Ianto. Any time you want to see him, all you need to do is fall asleep and join him here."

 

Jack's face brightened as tears welled up in his eyes. "Is that right?"

Tony nodded. "Yes. So, now that you have this knowledge, I hope that you'll remain faithful to each other. Your love is stronger than death."

Jack and Ianto stared at one another with a new found hope. For years, they had been living for the moment, trying not to think of the day when death would tear them apart. But now, they could look to the future, knowing their union would remain unbroken. 

Jack wrapped an arm around Ianto's waist, pulling him close and kissing him on the cheek. Then, he and Ianto both turn thankful gazes towards Tony.

"Thank you, Tony," Ianto whispered, smiling affectionately.

Tony nodded once again. "Take care of each other. See you soon, Ianto." With those words, Tony's form disappeared in a burst of golden light, as he transformed back into the green butterfly and flew away.

RENASCENCE RENASCENCE RENASCENCE

Jack and Ianto's eyes popped open simultaneously. Almost on instinct, Jack cradled Ianto's head as the Welshman nestled into the warmth of his chest. They were back were they started, lying under their favorite tree in the garden, and it took a moment for them to realize they were awake.

"Cariad," Ianto murmured sleepily, looking up at his lover's smiling features. "Tony was here. He flew right up to us."

Jack nodded, his mouth turning up into an amused smile. He was sure his aging lover was unaware of how innocent he sounded when recalling dreams. Especially while still drowsy. Leave it to Ianto Jones. Even a touch of senility looked good on him. 

"I saw," Jack laughed, smiling down at Ianto. "My grandson, the beautiful butterfly."

"So...you saw it, too?" Ianto asked, sitting up, and Jack soon followed. "Tony really talked to us, then?"

"It would seem so," Jack said, pulling Ianto close, so that they were both leaning against the tree. "I think that he wanted to reassure us. To let us know that we don't have to lose each other. "

Ianto pulled back, staring intently at Jack. Slowly and shakily, he raised his wrinkled, arthritic hand and cupped it to the immortal's cheek. "After I die, you...you don't want to move on? Look for a new mate?"

"Why would I do that?" Jack asked, gently removing Ianto's hand from his cheek and kissing it. "You heard what Tony said. We need each other."

Ianto's features softened in relief at Jack's words, and he once again leaned back, allowing his head to rest upon his lover's shoulder. 

"Ianto," Jack continued. "There won't be a day that goes by that I don't come and find you. This love we have - it's eternal. Someday you'll leave this existence. But now I know, any time I want to be near you, all I have to do is close my eyes. Thanks to you, I'll never feel alone and abandoned again."

Sighing contentedly, Ianto smiled up at Jack, melting into his arms.

"Meet me in the garden."


End file.
